Shortly after Princess Luna returned from her thousand-year banishment, she discovered that the species she loved, the bat ponies, are still alive, in the section of Canterlot overshadowed by the mountain that stands above it. She is saddened by the condition of the slums that the race are forced to live in. Wandering through, she meets a very special bat pony, who is willing to break the law valiantly just to protect three young souls from a life they shouldn't have to live.
"Honorable Mention" of the Bat Ponies and Thestrals 2017 Writing Competition.
Written for my friend Grem.
Edited by DwarvishPony
Cover art by Sun Stone
Chapters (1)
So this is your last story ever? Dang wanted to see more of this story
8515034
Hes got NaNoWriMo to be concerned about.. its not his last story
8515087
Last on here
8515142
For now. November is NaNoWriMo month.
8515149
Oh ok
More please!!! I need these two shipped so hard
8515034
To answer you, this may become a full-blown fic, but I’ll be too busy with NaNoWriMo (50k word writing challenge) for the entire month of November. If there is overwhelming want for me to actually make this a full fic then I will try, but this was meant to be a one shot.
8515401
Haha where’d you get the idea this was a ship fic?
8515034
It's kinda comes off as the first chapter of a shipfic....
8515424
Ahaha, I guess it can. There would be a romance tag if it was a shipfic, also, complete tag. :P
8515420
Well, you got my vote there. This would make a great prequel, where chapter 1 starts with Grem and the foals recovered and healthy, yet still struggling to be accepted at the castle despite Luna, and Celestia, overtly working to get bat ponies accepted as regular citizens. After all, she was singled out by Luna. This could very well create tension in the castle between her and those bat ponies already in residence.
Anywho! Excellent ficlet! Has me intrigued by what else you’ve written.
Good luck with NaNoWriMo!
And thank you. I was unaware of such a thing. Might give it a shot my self.
This is a nice little fic. Great story good background all and all just great overall.
8515689
Yeah, that would be the general idea if it was made into a main fic.
8515689
thanks man..
I did have an idea about what would happen after this.
Appreciate the feedback!
8515710
8515716
And there I go pointing out the obvious, and sounding like I’m telling the author what to write again. It’s a terrible habit of mine, I apologise.
I shall keep look out after November. Grem, you’re an intriguing mare.
8515787
its cool.. what you suggested is actually really interesting and could be taken into consideration when we get around to it (if it goes ahead) , so thank you.
Also, thank you for the compliment. I really happy with Grem as a character. :)
8515420
Ok cool
8515087 8515420 I really loved this and concurre that this should be expanded into a full fic. I can see where this could be start of a shipfic but personally see Luna acting in more of maternal role to grem and be treated like a grandparent to the three foals. Look after them, feed them and give them the education they were unable to receive due to their situation
8515928
Yes, you understand the context! Three points!
8515787
its fine mate
Decent enough plot, if cliche, but the emotions felt forced and there wasn't enough depth to really make me care for any of them. It all just fell flat, sorry to say.
Honestly- my favorite part was the very beginning, would have loved to see more of that and the tension there.
edit- wow! Didn't think my criticism was that harsh, but someone actually went through and downvoted all my stories as some petty revenge. Dude, seriously?
I mean, the fic is fine enough, it just didn't work for me personally. Sorry
Thestrals are awesome
8517819
Agreed ^-^
Good story. :)
Was a nice finish to the day :)
Had to suspend my disbelief a bit for the setting but it works.
The one thing I never understood in the show and in FFs how did Luna a NMM harm anyone. (Aside from 20 Minutes late sunrise the first and a few hours the second time.)
So i Never really got the whole revenge against her or her followers thing.
8518163
The ponies hated the bat ponies to begin with, and when Luna became Nightmare Moon 1000 years ago, the bat ponies didn’t have Luna to protect them, and so the bat ponies got attacked. They’re widely disciminated against.
8516451
Oh my. I'm sorry that that happened, that's not cool.
(I wouldn't do something like that, your stories are pretty cool actually)
8523986
Dude, I'm seriously so happy to see this reply from you, you have no idea!
I was hoping it wasn't you (I didn't want to accuse you because I know very well it could have been anyone) because you seem like a pretty cool guy and this story really was very sweet and loving and these characters fought for all the right things.
Thank you!
8525135
Thank you for your comments. It seems rather silly for someone to go after your fics like that. Thank you for taking the time to read this fic. :)
I really enjoyed that. Good job!
8634565
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
You can has review!
On boy, something tells me that Celestia didn't bother to.make sure that the Thestrals were living in good conditions.
If so, Luna has EVERY right to be furious.
Twilight and her friends won't be pleased either.
Made me wont to cry so cute and awesome thank you