Post-Soviet Equestria, a place to behold!

by Russian Bank Teller

Interim: Human and pony discover the Elements of Harmony and "repossession" of the Griffon Lands.

PART 1

Mikail Petrov was a historian fascinated by Equestria before the War of 1968. He was most interested in the Elements of Harmony and how they turned Equestria's foes to stone or banished them to Hell. His companion, Adelaida Sokolov (who was a pony, but they took on human names because the humans found their old names hilarious and stupid) was just as interested in old Equestrian history and the Elements of Harmony. She was born to a family that told her of old Equestria and greatly valued the black-and-white evil-or-good philosophy that old Equestria was based upon. When a letter showed up at Mikhail's house with a detailed map to where the Elements of Harmony were from a "mysterious benefactor", they just couldn't resist. They set off with all the supplies as they could carry, a gun, and a video camera. They went to the location on the map, which was an abandoned cottage near the Everfree forest and on the outskirts of Ponyville that had seemed to be inhabited by some kind of potion brewer long ago. They discovered a hatch which let them to a cave. In the cave was a message that said:

Dear Bearers of the Elements of Harmony,
In this cave is the Elements of Harmony, which I promised to protect from the evil creatures currently rampaging through Equestria while I am writing this letter. Hopefully, you and the Royal Guard were able to drive them off. Nevertheless, in the cave are the Elements of Harmony. Just enter the password and they will be yours once again.
Sincerely,
[illegible signature]

PART 2

Flurry Heart was the last Alicorn. She was taken care of by the last Crystal Ponies in an underground bunker constructed beneath the radioactive wasteland of the Crystal Empire. (What about Twilight you may ask, well let's just say her horn was removed in an incident involving a horny Russian guard, combat knife, and a starving Twilight who would do anything for more food...)

By 2007, she was devising a plan to conquer the Griffon Lands (which were inhabited by a few Kazakhs, whatever was left of the griffon population, and more ponies than there should be. They were a part of Kazakhstan). She was going to lead the remaining Crystal Ponies (about 179-ish) and the ponies to lead a revolt.

She declared a reborn Crystal Empire in mid-2008 and lead the Crystal Ponies and anyone who would join her to conquer the Griffon Lands. Her meager force was surprisingly well-armed (due to the whole NATO funding Equestrian freedom fighter thing and being a friend of the leader of one such group). Her force was armed with AKMs, RPGs, M16A4s, Makarovs, a bunch of technicals, 10 BMP-1s, 1 stolen T-90, and about 5 T-80BVs.

They were quickly advancing to the capital of the small little Kazakh enclave. They encountered little-to-no resistance and were met with cheers and love when they "liberated" towns, enlisting more members and setting up small little city governments.

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This is where the story begins. With Flurry Heart poised to take over the small Kazach enclave, Twilight's monarchist party quickly gaining strength and the Elements of Harmony about to be discovered by a human historian and pony companion while searching for them in caves near Ponyville.

Comments

[The Military]

Great!

[Russian Bank Teller]

woah, what's with the dislikes?!

[Corn]

8518535
The USSR invading Equestria is pretty controversial

[Russian Bank Teller]

8536392
Is it?

[Corn]

8536395
There are a lot of people on this site who think that ponies would never lose to humans and vice-versa. There are also a lot of reactionaries and dissidents, they like to go on about genocide Olympics and whatnot.

[Russian Bank Teller]

8536445
I see. How could the ponies win against the entire Eastern Bloc though? Especially when they have nukes that NATO and US cannot see go off.

genocide Olympics

The fuck?

[Corn]

8536561
Genocide Olympics is when someone shits on some group for committing genocide and someone trying to defend said group accuses someone else of doing something bad as if that makes it better. The far right likes to throw it around a lot.

Ex.:

Guy 1: The Nazis attempted to commit genocide on multiple ethnic groups, this is why I think Nazis are evil.

Guy 2: But the Soviet Union had Holodomor!

Guy 1: Uh, how does that change the fact that the Nazi doctrine called for the extermination of multiple ethnic groups?

Guy 2: It doesn't, but now that I pointed out someone else did bad things that means when you point out I support a system of governance that tends to lead to genocides it doesn't mean anything because a different system did bad stuff too! It doesn't even matter that you don't support the USSR! *pepe/pinochet meme*

I see. How could the ponies win against the entire Eastern Bloc though? Especially when they have nukes that NATO and US cannot see go off.

They wouldn't, but many people on this site think that the gags in the show are 100% repressive of all ponies. People see Twilight Sparke (The strongest unicorn at the time) do some great feat and assume that it's just typical stuff for everyone in the show despite how much it shows her struggling to do it.

[Russian Bank Teller]

8536661
I see.

They wouldn't, but many people on this site think that the gags in the show are 100% repressive of all ponies. People see Twilight Sparke (The strongest unicorn at the time) do some great feat and assume that it's just typical stuff for everyone in the show despite how much it shows her struggling to do it.

Yeah. *cough* *cough* GreyOnBlue *cough* *cough*

[Alexander Frederickson]

I'm thinking about reading this, but the dislikes are turning me away. Can someone tell me why they are disliking?

[Russian Bank Teller]

8635352
Because the ponies were subjugated by the USSR and there is a bit of racism between ponies and humans.

[Alexander Frederickson]

8635418
So... like the anti-Humans Are Superior?

[Russian Bank Teller]

8635441
Well, just read it.

[Ass hat]

8635527
ill say the disslikes are mostly since this is a touchy subject, also not horribly new and the writing leaves something to be desired

[Sunny Starscout]

So... is it dead?

[Russian Bank Teller]

8778448
noooooooo............

[Russian Bank Teller]

8851941
YES.

however, the corner should be the hammer and sickle, as true to other USSR Republics

[none that is holy]

8852200
i think that equestria should have been just a satellite state instead of an ssr

[Russian Bank Teller]

8854082
Makes sense, but I would assume the USSR would want territory in Equus and maybe make Equestria a republic while the other nations are satallites?

[Diceman]

So I have a laundry list of problems with this entire...Fic:

1. Writing is as dry as eating wallpaper,
2. Fails to centralize any main protagonist or group of protagonists
3. Starts with an epilogue that tells in stead of shows
4. Fails to invoke any emotion and is more heavily pandering towards EDGY and DARK without giving a humanized example of living in such a place.
5. Is too short and doesn't cover enough bases.

I can go on for another dozen or so points, but in short the story lacks a protagonist, pacing, proper characterization and shifts tones far too quickly. In short, the dislikes are not because of the topic (though that didn't help) , but your inability to TAKE them to the place personally. You should have started with a pony having to deal with the day to day soul crushing work. Having to be a second class citizen in a country that finds him/her expendable. Set the weather and tone as both abusive and sad, let this pony watch a workmate fall over dead in a quarry or something and have him/her have to watch this corpse being dragged away; not for burial, but to be made into food or glue.

You can make a fic about any topic, but you better not half ass it.

[Profesionalac]

My dudes, these chapters were just an overview of the history of the country, not the entire story, but this story is slow on updates. so you guys jump the gun and go full fucking story nazi on him. Completely destroying his motivation to write the story.

[Russian Bank Teller]

8954397
Oh, sorry

[Acoustic Pulse]

Only good commie is a dead commie.

[Russian Bank Teller]

9143286
w e w

[Solarfollow]

Why so many downvotes? Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous. But it's supposed to be: It's a parody of the Yugoslav Civil War, the Ukrainian Civil War, and the post-Soviet chaos, with Ponies added for seasoning. It's real-world history, viewed through a fun-house mirror.

[kalash93]

Nu, cho takaya? Ya ne ponimayu.

[Russian Bank Teller]

9324078
A pretty bad thing I wrote a year ago.

[kalash93]

9324221

I can take a look at it and see if there's anything to salvage.

[Russian Bank Teller]

9324227
aight that's fine.

[BiggiePeace]

Okay this is epic