Post-Soviet Equestria, a place to behold!

by Russian Bank Teller

First published

When the USSR collapsed, the Equestrian Soviet Socialist Republic (EQSSR) declared independence along with the other SSR's. Now the new Equestrian government has to deal with all the problems involving a post-soviet nation of ponies.

In 1991, the USSR collapsed and many of the former Soviet Socialist Republics succeeded. One of those is Equestria. Now Twilight and the rest of Main Six (after being released from a Gulag by the new government) have to tread lightly through the difficult rigors of post-soviet Equestria.

CANCELED

Prologue: The history of Equestria 1989-2007

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Racism was a problem that plagued Equestria ever since the human takeover. The humans who moved to Equestria naturally believed themselves to be superior because they destroyed the Equestrian Military in the war of 1968. The Equestrians, however, believed that they were superior because they could fly and do magic. All of this led to much distrust and occasionally, small skirmishes between human and Equestrian superiority groups. When the small-scale revolts started to happen around late 1989, everything got worse with constant street battles and bombings. With the collapse of the USSR and Equestria declaring independence*, the situation got even more dire. The new government had to deal with not just street battles and bombings, but now gerrymandering and political lobbying as each side wanted to exploit the democratic government to gain an advantage over the other. (*as a side note, Equestria joined the CIS placing them firmly in the Russian's camp)

By 1992, the government was dealing with a full-scale civil war when the neo-nazi Ponies For a Pure Equestria (PPE) elected a president and a majority in the Duma. The humans (who mostly lived in Stalliongrad) declared a new Equestrian state called the Federal Republic of the State of Equestria (FRSE) and promptly attempted to storm Красноярск (which was renamed, previously being Canterlot). The Russians backed the FRSE and NATO backed the PPE (due to the Russians backing the FRSE). The war continued for at least a year before the Russians started to commit troops disguised as "militiamen". The Russians tipped the balance in the FRSE's favor with the additional boost of manpower and equipment. The FRSE eventually won in 1999 with the PPE not being able to support the frontline when Spetsnaz assassinated the new "princess" and the top generals along with destroying the renovated royal palace (which was formerly the building the Duma resided in).

At the turn of century*, Equestria was in a dire state with most of the country destroyed by the civil war. The Equestrian KGB roamed the streets of every town looking for dissent and making sure no pony or person questioned the government. However, Equestria slowly rebuilt with the help of a main six recently released from a FRSE (formerly Soviet) gulag. (*sidenote, Equestrian nuclear weapons were handed back to Russia due to a lack of launch codes and a promise of no territorial claims. Like Ukraine and the only post-soviet powers that had Soviet nuclear weapons)

In 2001, an insurgent group called "The Equestrian Free Army" (EQFA) began. It started out as a small group of ponies unhappy with the dictatorship and harsh treatment of non-humans. The group quickly started to gain members. The group started to bomb KGB field offices and government buildings. The KGB began cracking down by executing anyone suspected of collaboration. NATO then began to fund and supply the EQFA, who took over Appleloosa and declared it "liberated". It was swiftly recaptured.

By 2002 the EQFA was declared a terrorist group by every country in the CIS. The FRSE declared martial law and sent in a newly formed militia. The militia (comprised completely of humans) began to conduct mass executions, which only led to the EQFA growing in strength and an influx of new members. As the FRSE began to get more desperate, Russia began to demand territory, including a large border town. When the FRSE refused, Russian troops occupied the land.

In January 2003, large protests broke out around the country, most notably in the capital of Stalliongrad. The protests were calling for a democracy and civil rights for ponies. The FRSE cracked down, deploying the military around the country. The Main Six were also placed on house arrest for participating in a protest. As the situation deteriorated, Russian troops began to occupy more land. Then, on the day of August 20th, 2003, the president of the FRSE was assassinated. The FRSE officially dissolved in December. A new, democratic, government formed called the "Republic of Equestria" (RoE) in February 2004. The RoE promptly fell into Chaos. A small power struggle occurred until Russian Spetsnaz stormed the capital and made Equestria a Russian puppet state called the "Equestrian Federation" (EF) on January 1st, 2005. The EF cedes Manehatten and the surrounding area to the Russian Federation in October. One month later in November, the EF joined the UN.

In January 2006, the Main Six were officially released from house arrest. They were given their old homes back after living in an apartment building. Twilight Sparkle formed a new political party that wanted to restore the monarchy. It quickly gained popularity and became the 3rd largest party, after the Russian-backed United Equestria and the Communist Party of Equestria. In July, Twilight became the Vice Chairman (pony?) of the State Duma (the first pony in the position of Vice Chairman). Just 4 days after Twilight became Vice Chairman, her monarchist party surpassed the Communist party in terms of popularity.

The other 5 of the main six (except Pinkie Pie) joined/created other parties or stayed out of politics. Fluttershy joined the Green Party and became their Presidential ticket, constantly speaking out against industrialization and the disregard for nature. Rarity abstained from politics. Applejack joined United Equestria, seeing it as the only party that actually did anything to help ponies. Rainbow Dash also abstained from politics, but slightly dabbled in the Communist Party, simply to compete with Applejack. Rainbow Dash also founded the Wonderbolts Reborn, a government-sponsored stunt flying group that participated in parades and other events.

By 2007 everything was looking up for Equestria. The economy stabilized, leading to an economic boom never seen before in Equestria. Earth Ponies became the ruling class due to them controlling Equestria's main export: Agriculture. Due to the Earth Ponies knack for farming and way with nature, Equestria became a major supplier of agricultural products across the globe. Ever since 1970 when Equestria started exporting agriculture, "Equestrian Apples" were the most widely craved fruit in the Eastern bloc. When they started to go to the rest of the world in 1992, they were very, very popular. Especially in the United States. Equestrian Apples were the 19th most popular food in the US in 2007. One Earth Pony became the 9th richest person in the world with a net worth of 24.7 billion US Dollars. Equestria became quite prosperous, until The Great Recession of December 2007-2009

Interim: Human and pony discover the Elements of Harmony and "repossession" of the Griffon Lands.

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PART 1

Mikail Petrov was a historian fascinated by Equestria before the War of 1968. He was most interested in the Elements of Harmony and how they turned Equestria's foes to stone or banished them to Hell. His companion, Adelaida Sokolov (who was a pony, but they took on human names because the humans found their old names hilarious and stupid) was just as interested in old Equestrian history and the Elements of Harmony. She was born to a family that told her of old Equestria and greatly valued the black-and-white evil-or-good philosophy that old Equestria was based upon. When a letter showed up at Mikhail's house with a detailed map to where the Elements of Harmony were from a "mysterious benefactor", they just couldn't resist. They set off with all the supplies as they could carry, a gun, and a video camera. They went to the location on the map, which was an abandoned cottage near the Everfree forest and on the outskirts of Ponyville that had seemed to be inhabited by some kind of potion brewer long ago. They discovered a hatch which let them to a cave. In the cave was a message that said:

Dear Bearers of the Elements of Harmony,
In this cave is the Elements of Harmony, which I promised to protect from the evil creatures currently rampaging through Equestria while I am writing this letter. Hopefully, you and the Royal Guard were able to drive them off. Nevertheless, in the cave are the Elements of Harmony. Just enter the password and they will be yours once again.
Sincerely,
[illegible signature]

PART 2

Flurry Heart was the last Alicorn. She was taken care of by the last Crystal Ponies in an underground bunker constructed beneath the radioactive wasteland of the Crystal Empire. (What about Twilight you may ask, well let's just say her horn was removed in an incident involving a horny Russian guard, combat knife, and a starving Twilight who would do anything for more food...)

By 2007, she was devising a plan to conquer the Griffon Lands (which were inhabited by a few Kazakhs, whatever was left of the griffon population, and more ponies than there should be. They were a part of Kazakhstan). She was going to lead the remaining Crystal Ponies (about 179-ish) and the ponies to lead a revolt.

She declared a reborn Crystal Empire in mid-2008 and lead the Crystal Ponies and anyone who would join her to conquer the Griffon Lands. Her meager force was surprisingly well-armed (due to the whole NATO funding Equestrian freedom fighter thing and being a friend of the leader of one such group). Her force was armed with AKMs, RPGs, M16A4s, Makarovs, a bunch of technicals, 10 BMP-1s, 1 stolen T-90, and about 5 T-80BVs.

They were quickly advancing to the capital of the small little Kazakh enclave. They encountered little-to-no resistance and were met with cheers and love when they "liberated" towns, enlisting more members and setting up small little city governments.

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This is where the story begins. With Flurry Heart poised to take over the small Kazach enclave, Twilight's monarchist party quickly gaining strength and the Elements of Harmony about to be discovered by a human historian and pony companion while searching for them in caves near Ponyville.