Sunset Shimmer is on a mission to find her human counterpart. Dead ends leave her frustrated and her friends worried.
Chapters (2)
BoredAuthor817
Joined 8th Jul, 2017 ·
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The feels
but it makes a lot of sense
Well this story idea certainly isn't a bad one but I really think you need an editor because I spotted quite a few grammatical mistakes.
This is getting good.
I really liked this, could have been longer though. It seems like Applejack might have asked about her parents in Equestria
Fluff story, the fact Applejack was here to hear Sunset makes it better (I know it ain't ship but stories like yours, I'm mad of them ~), even if she's always the character to tie with a family loss in stories, it came out good enough for my liking.
You accidentally the comma. You also do this quite a few more times, forgetting the punctuation in dialogue.
*if
I think you meant for that to be "groan"
No comma, and that should be "led"
This sounds an awful lot like "RIP human Sunset" to me.
You also still have lots of missing punctuation in your dialogue.
Even though it was fairly obvious human Sunset was dead, this still felt impactful. This was a nice read.
Will there be more?
Well you could take The human sunset's ssn!