this is great, hope to see more soon

9816258
I see. Well, a brutally honest word of an experienced editor and writer, if I may? Consider your story to be a house. The first chapter is its foundation--it has to be strong enough to carry the weight of the whole structure, no matter how well-built is the rest of the house. If it's not strong enough, the house falls. And it's the same with stories. If the first chapter is flawed, it doesn't matter if the chapters after it are the best ones ever written. Why? Because the errors in the first chapter will turn the majority of readers away. A good story is of high quality all the way through.

9816287
Well, honestly I already know that, and I know that I didn't do a very good job on the first chapter, but I'm just glad that you decided to stick around for the rest of what it is so far, by the way what did you like about this story? Any favorite moments? Or chapters? Anything?

9816311

by the way what did you like about this story? Any favorite moments? Or chapters? Anything?

Well, I have read just the first chapter so far It's just that when I'm not commenting under a certain chapter, the comments get assignned to the latest published chapter.

9816335
Ohh, well, I'm very sorry if the first chapter doesn't make you want to read any more of my story, but I honestly dont know in what kind of way I should change it to suit the story better, but I'm also focusing on an alternate universe fanfic based on the same character, but that's for another time if you decide you want to read more of my story

9817696
I haven't said I'm not going to read on, just that I haven't gotten around to it yet As for what you can do with the chapter, I'd say it might be mainly cutting some of the exposition and not jumping between various characters if there is no need to. Maybe also some work with pacing and introducing any kind of hook for the readers earlier in the chapter. And fixing grammar and the inconsistent bits, of course.

SO i know this is a little random but i was just going through youtube and found out about #teamtrees and thought " I might as well get the word out as much as i can" and here i am, so #teamtrees is a giant event going on to try and plant 20,000,000 trees by MrBeast. You know that really well known dude on youtube that you should have heard of. It is an event hes set with the Arbor Day Foundation so that every 1$ donated is 1 tree planted. Here i will leave the link and if you can, could you help spread this message either by your own words or copying this mini essay I've ended up making!

https://teamtrees.org/

anyway go here and try to help the environment with so little as 1$!
Join and spread the group aswell https://www.fimfiction.net/group/214619/teamtrees

9929473
It's ok. If you ever do a rewrite you may want to fix that.

I'm just got through 20 chapters and I'm confused on what dylans love interest is

9965735
If any pony is in love with Dylan, it’s Twilight

Excellent 1st story keep up the good work