• Member Since 2nd Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen November 4th

Alternate dawn

Comments ( 115 )

KO just curious, is there gonna be any sex scene in this story?

Just keep trying l hope you doing better .

a combination of coco sunny master jirou toriko and zebra in 1 vile...the universe is fucked
ps: thanks for reminder alternate dawn

Comment posted by Alternate dawn deleted Oct 11th, 2017

I got lost half way through this get a spell checker!

Huh. This is pretty good. I give this a like and can't wait for more.

Comment posted by Alternate dawn deleted Oct 15th, 2017

You have to decide if this story is going to be first person, or third person, point of view.
Don't keep jumping between them. It ruins the structure of the story.

Well done someone add like your story now . You working hard today good job but I will add favorite your story wait for your new chapter .

I'll leave a like because it's well written, but I don't think I'll be following this.
There's too much going on with the main character and he's STARTING OUT over-powered.

Great story and I think it is well written but I’m curious, is this character going to start a herd in this story with characters like the main six and the princesses or just one character like Harmonia or someone else

Why do I fill like you got some ideas from Don't get cocky and even if u didn't I still love this story cause it reminds me of it before it stopped

So far this has earned a favorite and you have earned a new follower

i hope he makes a harem of the princesses, harmonia, and the main six... why because he is the main character

Forgot to put this in prev comment, but i like this story so far so i'll fav plus follow the story, and you. And wait for more of this story. (^_^)

Wut...your shipping him with the tree of Harmony?

*Stares in slight disgust but is also slightly turned on* go on maybe I just might search up "plunder seed x tree of Harmony porn"

Comment posted by satnapillowpants deleted Oct 23rd, 2017

Chris arrived at the castle of the two sisters he thought "That was close might have said too much " he gave a sigh of relief then he felt something from his pocket so he tooked it out and it was a bag that contain a list -it said you have immortality, immunity to magic and you have mastered the light,dark side of the force

You know. All things that vegito never had.
The Mary Sue is strong with this one.

Comment posted by satnapillowpants deleted Oct 18th, 2017
Comment posted by Alternate dawn deleted Oct 23rd, 2017

Is this story based on.... I forgot the name but the guy's main character is displaced King Toriko with nearly all the powers you have now?

Eh maybe but it would take ahwhile

gutes Kapitel mein Freund (german) (^_^)

Good job ! Here your promise add like favorite your story . But are you sure keep lying everypony find out about this .

I mean telling about planet destroy and his parents die what happens when Apple Jack find out caught Vegito lying everything but I realize she wasn't there that mean he safe .
Forget about what I said please continue your story is safe . Sorry I rushed to telling you .

Login or register to comment