Written for Vinyl and Octavia Day
As the sun sinks below the trees and the crickets begin to sing, Equestria finds itself vulnerable to a specific type of evil. Ponies fall peacefully to sleep, blissfully unaware of what lurks in the sinister darkness.
However, some ponies are all too familiar with beings that live in the shadows. Two of these ponies find themselves racing through Canterlot in the dead of night with nightmarish creatures not far behind. Alas, this is only the beginning of their nightmare.
Chapters (1)
I liked this story. The plot was a little on the cliche side, but it didn't detract from the story measurably. Starting in the middle of the action with no real buildup is always tricky, but I think you did well with it. The basic situation was pretty easy to grasp and details started to fill themselves in as the story went along. If I had one complaint, I'd say that it is that there is a bit of a tendency to tell the reader what is happening rather than "showing" it to them with more active writing. Also, having Luna show up right at the end to avert the bad ending is kind of a deus ex machina when there is no hint given that she is involved at all.
Besides those quibbles, though, I think you did a good job on pacing and describing the fight scene. You also did a good job on capturing the atmosphere and emotional state of the characters.
Thank you for writing and sharing it.