Celestia's Secret Weapon
"SOUND THE ALARM!!"
A brown maintenance pony wearing a yellow hard hat scrambled to the wall of the Canterlot Control Center. He shattered the glass case that surrounded a large, red button labelled "Emergencies Only" and slammed his hoof into it. The blare of sirens echoed throughout Canterlot.
"WARNING! WARNING! CODE BLACK! ALL PONY PERSONNEL REPORT TO BATTLE STATIONS IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! WARNING! WARNING!"
All throughout the city, panic set in. Ponies vacated their shops and homes, barricading themselves in strategically placed bunkers along the street. But deep within the castle, the Canterlot Armed Forces gathered. Suddenly, there came a great flash of purple light, and a unicorn appeared, standing in their midst.
This was General Twilight Sparkle, Commander of the CAF. Her crisp, green uniform was emblazoned with no less than thirty medals, each earned through valorous conduct in the face of danger. Three long scars, like claw marks, were etched into the side of her battle-hardened face.
"Bring up the Princess on Screen One," ordered Twilight. The communications technician nodded his assent and linked the signal to the High Chamber, where Celestia would be during a time of crisis. The Princess's normally cheery face was darkened with the seriousness of the situation.
"What happened, your Highness?" the lavender unicorn asked.
"My Darkness Scanners have detected an unusual level of Hatred resonating from Manehattan," replied Celestia. "It is imperative that we eliminate these foul emotions, and protect the love and tolerance of Canterlot."
"Yes, your Highness," affirmed General Twilight.
"Now, I must go. My city must be protected, and my citizens must be reassured. If you need, me, Twilight, send me a signal and I shall reply immediately." The video feed cut out, to be replaced with up-to-date readings from Celestia's Darkness Scanners. Just as the Princess had said, a vast fog of hate was radiating from the Manehattan area.
General Twilight immediately took control of the action. "Marefield, analysis."
A blue stallion in a white lab coat adjusted his glasses as he read from his computer screen. "It's a Level Nine Hatestorm, General."
Twilight had to resist the urge to gasp. Level nine was the highest rating available for unnatural disasters. In the words of her old friend from days gone by, this was, by far... The. Worst. Possible. Thing.
Her analytical mind quickly returned to the situation. Twilight wasn't one to be easily sidetracked. "Coltman, raise the Anti-Hate Shields immediately!"
"Shields ready and raising, General," stated the white stallion.
"Hoofson!"
"Yes, General?" replied a steel-gray stallion.
"What's the readout on the Orbital Friendship Cannon?"
"Charging."
"How long?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Thirteen minutes, forty-three seconds, General."
She glanced at the readout on the screen. The Hatestorm was growing incessantly. It now covered all of Manehattan, and was spreading to Fillydelphia.
"That's too long. Is there any way to speed it up?" asked Twilight.
"No, General. Not without risking an overheat." said Hoofson.
Twilight cursed under her breath. "Can we get a visual on that Hatestorm? It can't be natural, and I'd like to know what's causing it."
"Bringing up Manehattan Camera 3, General," stated the communications technician.
This time, Twilight Sparkle couldn't hold in her gasp. It was far worse than she had first believed. The camera, located on the outside of a skyscraper, showed a terrifying sight. The streets were riddled with small craters. Streetlights had been torn out of the ground, and a massive, consuming fire raged through the city. Ponies galloped around the fires as they fled for their lives.
Above the flames, numerous black vehicles were hovering ominously. They were rounded, like eggs, and their tops were open to the air. Each vehicle was occupied by two evil-looking ponies dressed in black leather jumpsuits. Their eyes were red as blood, with pupils like those of a snake. Each pony was armed with a horrible weapon, a morbid cross between a high-powered assault rifle and a napalm grenade launcher. Twilight knew instinctively that these ponies were responsible for creating the raging Hatestorm.
General Twilight immediately sent out a telepathic impulse to the Princess. She needed to speak with her. The situation was out of her control.
Celestia's image once again appeared on the screen. "Yes, Twilight Sparkle?"
"I have discovered the source of the Hatestorm, your Highness," reported General Twilight. "Check Manehattan Camera 3."
The grave face of the alicorn was quickly overcome with a look of horror as she watched.
"The OFC requires more time to charge," said Twilight. "But we can't allow this to continue any longer. What are your orders, your Highness?"
Celestia deliberated for a moment. "It pains me to have to do this... But we have no choice. Send out the Beast."
Twilight shuddered. "Th-the Beast? Your Highness, are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure, Twilight. These are my orders. I will deal with any repercussions caused by my decision." Celestia's image disappeared as she ended the transmission.
The CAF ponies looked questioningly at their General. Twilight gave a curt nod, and Coltman raised a shaking hoof to press a button. A hole opened in the ceiling of the Canterlot Control Center and a steel box began to lower into the room. It shook violently as it descended, and a vicious snarling sound emanated from the air vents on the sides of box. As it reached the floor, General Twilight gave the steel box a hard rap with her hoof.
"Beast! Are you ready to defend your country?" Twilight yelled over the snarling.
Everypony cringed as they heard a huge intake of breath. The Beast's battle cry could be nothing less than horrifying.
"-yay!-"
"CelestiaSpeed, my friend," Twilight murmered as her horn glowed, teleporting the Beast deep into the heart of Manehattan, ready to wreak havoc upon the evil, red-eyed ponies.
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I imagined Fluttershy as the most adorable mech ever.
49659
mech fluttershy would be pretty sweet. 
i imagined her more as just fluttershy. but hey, whatever floats your boat, man.
im still not sure how this has decent/good ratings.
lol
either way, i love hearing feedback from anyone who reads my stories
so leave me some comments if you liked it. or if you hated it. haha 
49659I though the beast was pinkie pie
49665 and 49667
D-did I miss something? I though the flat yay was a Fluttershy line? I mean, Pinkie would make sense too, but I obviously missed something.
49680 i dont think you missed anything.... pinkie doesnt even show up in this story. the only familiar characters are twilight, celestia, the beast, and of course, rarity's complaining, which is a character all on its own.
So...no longer talking to Rarity, and she weaponized Fluttershy...I can only wonder what events led to this point.
Fluttershy > Orbital Friendship Cannon
F Yeah
This is kinda like that Comic where Fluttershy is the secret weapon and to kill a Giant Mech Pony she drinks from a juice box and gives it a fatal Dawww induced heat attack
.
This was really cute and funny. I liked it.
49717 it was war, private.
actually, i have no idea. i guess if i kept writing, itd reveal itself to me. but i like it how it is. but rarity probly spends too much of her time complaining to her therapist at this point. 
except she's much more dangerous. haha
49730 fluttershy > all weapons. in fact, one could say that Fluttershy is best weapon.
The use of Fluttershy has been decreed as a war crime. Though given this is Celestia we're talking about she'll have the UN eating out of the palm of her metaphorical hand in seconds.
49807 not to mention she could sic fluttershy on them if need be
Naw if they get too uppity then she calls in the big guns the dred combo of Woona and Fluttershy.
OH! OH! I know a pic for this!!1!
...know if only i could find it
49866 if you find this picture.... PLEASE LET ME HAS!!!
Oh, lawdy lawdy. This brings a great smile to my face.
Why can't I hold all of these stars. Here, take five.
i.imgur.com/Gzwmj.jpg
Because it was the first thing i thought of when i saw Orbital Friendship Cannon
50101 oh, trollestia. will thy trolling ways never cease??
that picture is simply epic. how the crap did you find that???
50122 It was posted in an eve online (a space mmorpg) dev blog a long time ago (or was it something else to promote the game? I don't recall unfortunately) It was the first pony thing i ever remember seeing and it has stuck like glue to my mind.
I thought it was fitting for this.
omg i actually imagined the hate shield and the ofc charging up in my head.....and when the beast went like -"yay"- i was like OMFG WHAT THE HELL, LAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH, i laughed my ass off.....omg so ironic that the "beast" had to be a cute and cuddley adorable little pony :3
holy everything, batmane! how did this get to be in that little box that shows popular stories at the top of the site??
50234 i was writing this on a sheet of notebook paper when i saw this fic
sir, you have once again proven that i have nothing to contribute, except for a witty comment everynow and then,,,,
you have showen me my place, and here i will stay.
[img]file:///Users/terricolbert/Desktop/mlp%204/mss_peace_walker_by_escagorouge-d4gklua.jpg[/img]
50234 i was writing this on a sheet of notebook paper when i saw this fic
sir, you have once again proven that i have nothing to contribute, except for a witty comment everynow and then,,,,
you have showen me my place, and here i will stay.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-uuPJJunbZ0o/TtAIRZKyc6I/AAAAAAAAVcA/oR_zbE1CAQU/s1600/the_fun_has_been_doubled_by_cyb3rwaste-d4h5yxh.png
50295
once again? what else have i done? and THAT PICTURE IS AWESOME!!!! we need a followup.
-Luna shoots Steven Magnet- HOW MANY POINTS DO I RECEIVE????
oh, and hey if you're reading this, you (SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT) should check out my other stories.
more more!!!
50307
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/x-all-of-the-things-meme.png
ALL THE POINTS!
50307
Correction:
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/gallery/x-all-the-things/x-all-the-things-template.jpg
ALL THE POINTS!
LORD ABOVE! RUN! THEY HAVE FLUTTERSHY!
Uh... well then. Decent writing, I suppose, punchline that paid off.
Yeah, enjoyable quick read. Sadly, I don't really have any relevant pictures, so uh... here's a link to a good PMV, I suppose. Link.
I CAN'T FIGUR OUT HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK!
You're in luck, dear author of this awesome fanfic. I created a comic awhile back just for this very thing, and it fits your cover art perfectly!
oi56.tinypic.com/16ifxnl.jpg
I knew this would come in handy someday.
And that day has come.
Someone should write a C&C3\MLP crossover fanfic
Ponified Kane :twilightoops
5 stars btw
Ah the Ion canon so very fun to use.
Lol, I liked this story. I have to admit it, evil Equestria sounds pretty darn fun! Is there going to be more to this? Cause I would gladly read more! Also, I could easily see Rainbow Dash as the main villain, stroking a pet turtle and throwing out insults and stuff.
51976 oh gosh, evil dashie??? i wish i'd thought of that on my own so i could use it without people suspecting it.. hahaha
52119
Lol, you could use it anyways, if ya wanted. I won't say anything...
52164 depressingly enough, people read these comments. i dont want 20 comments of 'lulz i knew it.
" 
dont worry, i shall think of new things 
The Beast: Because the best weapon is the one you never have to fire.
52447 I respectfully disagree. The best weapon is the one you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America did it...and it's worked out pretty good so far.
- Tony Stark, immediately before demonstrating the Jericho missile system.
Not that that's out of the way, I'm finding this pretty funny. Love the various meme references (such as the Anti Hate shields) and Fluttershy as the Beast is an image that's too funny to pass up. Wonder what she's going to do...
Wait, the Beast...
"And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy. And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority. And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast. And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him? And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months. And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against God, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in heaven. And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations. And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him...." Revelations 13:1-8.
...Yep, that fits Fluttershy to a t.
"-yay!-" -- it's all I can think about now. The. Funniest. Possible. Thing. EVER!
54155 glad you enjoyed it
52526 yes. that's exactly what i had in mind when i wrote this.
lol as if im that insightful. but since you bring it up, thats pretty funny. i cant imagine fluttershy blaspheming anything. or having 7 heads.
General Twilight immediately sent out a telekinetic impulse to the Princess.
-I think you mean "telepathic".
-Not really liking the comedy ending. I agree that "The Beast" is powerful, but it is a bit grimdark to have it needing to be restrained, and fighting those restraints.
52526
Wait a second.... The Beast... Blast it, now I am going to hear this music every time I think of Flutterage...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt4ldDExzhU
My intrests are crossing again....
59321 You know, I really need to watch Neon Genesis at some point. I've seen the two movies that have been released, but apparently they've got quite a different plot from the original anime.
Also, apparently ponies can be, and have been, crossed with anything imaginable.
59442 I have yet to see ponies crossed with porno films any.
58890 thanks, i always get those confused
and meh, i see what you mean. i dont quite agree with you, but eh, to each his own. i definitely can see where you're comin from, tho. thanks for the input 
)
59923 maybe not specific porno films. but i believe that comes under Rule 34 of the internet, or, when discussing ponies, clopfics. one could argue that any clopfic is technically a porno in writing. but maybe with plot. (both kinds!
how come i think of Red Alert 2 Yuris revenge wehn reading the part about the hate storm? especially the assalt rifle/ napalm grenade launcher which in red alert yuri's initiates have.(well actually just fancy Psi-head gear that allows them to shoot anti-infantry/anti-tank fire balls from there foreheads) and the flying egg craft? they remind me of yuri's collection agency. oh and the cloud of hatred reminds me of the allies weather control device(well just the giant lightning storm they create that is)..... ill get some pics!
the disc's:http://cnc.wikia.com/wiki/Floating_Disc
and the initiates:http://cnc.wikia.com/wiki/File:YuriInitiate.jpg
so all in all i hope you might consider turn'in this into a red alert crossover( it has the potential) or something of the like... ha ponyfied Yuri now i'd pay to see that...
85017 i regret to inform you that ive never heard of red alert 2
hahaha i planned on just writing this out to be something ridiculous yet rather believable. if i ever get around to it. 
well at least continue to write this stroy... and also how can you not know of Red Alert? it is one of the best stratergy game series ever! it mostly focusus apon the allies vs soviets in an alternate timeline.
and it is funny how you made this a perfect setting for a red alert crossover and yet did not even know of red alert..... hay with your permision, once i am done with my Red Alert/ Mass effect crossover could i try using this as a basis of a red alert/ MLP crossover?
88428 i dont get out much. my knowledge of games is basically limited to things available for Nintendo-based platforms, a secondhand knowledge of halo and COD, and addictinggames.com.
but thats okay lol. and i'll continue it, cuz i have a few ideas for it, but itl probly be a while. i have to finish my other project, and ive had major writers block/lack of motivation, and then i may completely rewrite my first fanfic. this comes after all that. so stick around, you might see something in another year or two 
hahaha