• Member Since 12th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Monday

Formerly Committed


I snark as a function of talking.

E
Source

Snippets from Sweetie Belle's life as she works towards her dream and falls in love along the way.

Thanks to Cryosite for reluctantly looking this over.

Ms for batsWell, well, well.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

Umm.. I accept your apology?

Or did you say that with the forefront knowledge that there will be some people who read this and think ‘hmm, isn’t Rainbow old enough to be Sweetie’s Mom at this rate’?

If that were the case, then yeah I accept your apology.


That said though, the book was nice to read; good grammar and spelling, the characters seem on point, and despite the time jumps, the narrative was consistent throughout.

One thing I will praise you for is how you indirectly explained to the reader the reason for Rainbow’s appearance at the lake at the beginning.

Good attempts at exposition are few and far between and it takes a good writer to help the reader feel like they’re uncovering what happened themselves (which I always find to be a treat).


Edit: If I were to give any improvements, I would upgrade the rating to a T, y’know, aggressive kissing and all that, but that’s me.

9950328
Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot.

As for Dash's age, I kept Dash's age vague since most people have their own idea of how old she is; however, I generally stick with the half your age plus seven rule.

Yeah, the rating could probably be bumped up. But it got accepted that way, so I kind of want to leave it in protest.

If you've gotten this far, I can only apologize.

And well you should, you degenerate! :P

9950835
I second this and also add that the author should be ashamed of theirself.
*silently nudges a box labled "Sweet Rain" into a closet*

Absolutely ashamed.

“Exactly! But you know what I do when I start gettin’ nervous?”

"Concoct a harebrained scheme that threatens to destroy half the town?"
:rainbowderp: :unsuresweetie:

As the final song ended, and the crowd was still screaming her name, a piano was rolled out onto the center of the stage. The lights went out with a single spotlight shining down onto the piano.

Since when could Sweetie Belle play a piano? Is this what the alternate universe tag is for? :duck:

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