• Member Since 26th Jan, 2022
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Cxcd


Sequels1

T

An impromptu trip to Manehattan leaves Fluttershy torn between life back in Ponyville and a little filly who caught her eye. Can she really stand up to the challenge of raising a foal? Especially one as damaged as Scootaloo?


Warning: The timeline is a little bit screwy from the actual show. Some events happen a little bit out of order. Please ignore.

All art was done by me. The first two headers were made by me writing in my notebook. The third header was from a still from the actual show, and the rest were done by tracing exports from SFM I made.

Inspired by the beautiful story Unseen, Unheard by the amazing Nocturnal Reverie.

HUGE thanks to Discombobulated Soul for making me finally finish this story.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 45 )

A story about Fluttershy and Scootaloo? Count me in!

This is such a nice story. The relationship you made between Rarity and Sweetie Belle is pulling at my heart. I love it.

eh we all have hard lives, hell when I was young (as a baby) I had to relearn how to walk and talk again, plus the absurd amounts of brain surgeries, I've had

Looking good so far. I'd be glad to see more!

Huh. Why the use of Dusk Shine and Spines instead of Twilight?

11519695
just to fuck with people.
genuinely.
that's it. that's the whole reason. I just felt like it.

11519697
Lmao, I respect that answer immensely.

I was wondering if it was a trans fic one way or another as well so was making -eyes- as a nonbinary person.

I'll comment on my thoughts on the fic when it's done but so far it has captured my heart immensely haha.

Any reason you made Twilight into Dusk?

Warning: The timeline is a little bit screwy from the actual show. Some events happen a little bit out of order. Please ignore.

Meanwhile, the timeline from the actual show is a lot screwy all by itself. (Citation)

Seriously, anyone who cared about this can be safely ignored.

Well that's a bit sad if not also sweet.

I feel like this story is going to give me a d'aaaaw overload and I don't mind it.

“You drop her, I’ll drop you.” Fluttershy stated with no emotion.

This had me in stitches for some reason.

so Scootaloo finally found her voice, yay!

We Need the other dimensional story now

11522133
was thinking about it, but people have already done it and done it a thousand times better than i ever could.

This is just plain sweet as heck so far.

Also, the dig at Flint's not-at-all clean water had hit home for me. :rainbowlaugh:

Scootaloo is getting a sweet friend in Sweetie Belle!

SO SWEET! NO PUN INTENDED!

Oh... no...

Let's not forget: in many a universe, Scootaloo is a daredevil!

Oh, Rainbow...

Also, Dusk... are you gonna do what I think you're gonna do?

I applaud Sweetie for trying to better understand Scootaloo.

And thus, the makings of a trio's formation were created!

This story is good and i know it’s set in a alternate universe which means some things didn’t happen like scootaloo being there when nightmare moon appear

quite great, but man the last bit was a bit emotional, but it's still great

I am disappointed that this story isn't a Simpsons crossover?

11535044
i'm disappointed it's not a steven universe crossover

11536381
I’m disappointed this isn’t a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover.

Such a lovely story. Sure, the dialogue can be a bit clunky sometimes, but the descriptions and mood are REALLY good. I didn't even notice too many typos or errors either, maybe a few times where you used the wrong word (tired, probably). My favourite was when at a very emotional moment Sweetie gave a hug to Sweetie. :twilightblush: One thing I would probably have left a bit more vague was the description of what exactly happened to Scootaloo's brother, but it still worked. As Alternate Universes go, you kept this really close to canon with the mood and characters apart from some maybe unnecessary cursing. That's a big thing for me; keeping the feel of the show while telling stories that are divergent from it.

I'm happy I read this story and your other stories as well. Something in your writing really hits home for me, which I can't say for a lot of other fics I've read. I don't really know what it is, but a big part is that you keep stories down to earth and relatable, and you balance even the saddest things with optimism. You've quickly become one of my favourite new writers.

“Maybe a little more black?” Sweetie suggested, coloring the eyebrow a little bit darker. Scootaloo thought for a second before taking a slightly different angle viewing ti. She felt a crink in her neck pop and release as she tilted her head to the side. She let out a hum that sounded vaguely like an agreement, picking up her own pen and continuing her drawing escapade.

Small typo

The filly, who had a red mane with a large box fixed to the top of her head, observed Scootaloo for a moment. Then, she smiled, nodding her head, as if to say ‘ are you okay?’ Scootaloo took a moment to respond, also nodding her head.

Typo

Dusk whirled around, letting the tomb he was currently reading drop from his magical aura.

Did you mean ‘tome’? Though the mental image of dusk carrying a gravestone around and reading it is pretty funny.

This was such a well done chapter, like, holy shit. The feels being portrayed here in such a short and concise scene was off the charts. :pinkiegasp:

One of the cutest Scoots' stories I've read in a while. So underappreciated.

The first day jitters described in this chapter were so well done.

That ending. I love it. :moustache:

Your writing teeters on the brink of having too much description over dialogue, but it's not overly so and very much enhances the overall mood of each scene with vivid detail.

“Oh my gosh!” Sweetie exclaimed, pulling Sweetie into a hug. “This is gonna be so awesome! We’re gonna sit next to each other- and we’re gonna study together- and-” Sweetie began rambling. Scootaloo merely leaned into it. If she knew anything, these next few days were going to be… interesting.

you accidentally put sweetie two times in there but otherwise the story is good so far :pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment