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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I was watching webley videos today by chance. Nice little insert.
I like this.
I mean, I'm feeling pretty invested right now. A mysterious ancient city, killer centaur automatons, crashed airships and a dragon corpse, and more time with the esteemed Mr. Teakettle & company. Sounds like a setup for another excellent Weed story.
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The Grittish Isles are an actual place on the MLP official map. Skyreach is east and north past Griffonstone, up near the arctic circle. Nowhere near Equestria.
RIP Ol' Gertie, she gallops no more.
I think you're doing a good job of telling a mostly adventure story with some dramatic and slice of life elements. The tension is good, the suspense and foreshadowing is working, and as they say on the internet, my desire to know more is intensifying.
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It had clearly been too long since I've seen that particular map. Thanks.
My but this chapter was unsettling. Wandering through a ship of pony corpses is not something I ever truly wanted to read about, but here we are. If you're trying to make the automatons seem intimidating, you are succeeding.
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At the end of VI, we see them in action, and they are terrifying.
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I was kinda flying through the last chapters of that story. I remember meeting them, but all I really remember offhand is the Celestia-clone-thing (I forget her name) raising up on her hind legs and smacking the things with her front. Somehow, they're leaving a bigger impact this time. Probably since this is still so early in the story, and it's only going to get worse from here. Ugh...
It's nice to see some one looking at survival salvaging as it should be. Too many look at a wrecked ship , no matter what kind and start going on about how "Oh we cannot rob the dead, all of these things belong to them!" The operative word here is dead. this is not a tomb. It is a wreck that contains materials that will keep you and yours alive. If that was me lying there I would hope that someone would take anything that I had left behind and use it against whoever had done that to me.
I love this. I just wish the outcome wasn't predetermined by its placement in the Weedverse timeline. It detracts from the suspense a bit. If there were a few characters that were unique to this story, I think that could be a great boon to the tone. Not to say you need to invent characters to just kill off, but putting characters that you know survive in danger somewhat decreases the tension.
I'd call Tarnish resourceful, cool in the face of danger, and a natural survivor for those reasons.
7973631 Fairly pitiful hunter/killer though!
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7974323 Current official map of Equestria on MLP Wikia, so I guess above the bug bear territory.
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7974359 They are the borg of the Weedverse. Quite literally.
"Surrender for processing. Resistence is futile."
You know, this is the second time you've used mediocrity as a .. I don't wanna say plot point, but as a positive mark of a pony's character (dunno if I'm phrasing this right). Remember wa-a-a-a-y back in The Chase? Bucky made a deal with Scorch that one of his children would be average.
While we haven't seen anything from that yet-to-be-developed character, I think it makes things more interesting to follow the path of a 'normal' character in a story when surrounded by extraordinary ones. In the words of The Incredibles, "When everyone's special, no one is."
7974864 I rise your bets !
7974982 ED209 wasn't much better either.
'Tarnished...You will go to the Dagobah swamps, there you will be instructed by the Diamond dog that taught me!'
(Excuse the silliness, it's the middle of night and I'm restless.)
Tarnish has quite a bit of rising to do.
How are we supposed to feel about this?
He's coming back through deep snow with enough supplies to make earth ponies keel over. Tarnished has grit. And guts.
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Not really enough supplies to make an Earth Pony keel over. Maud he pulled a wooden cart that weighed over half a ton probably with all of their supplies on it before they lost it all to the creation of Mount Maud. But then again she is an extreme example of Earth Pony Strength. As would be Big Mac if I used his pulling an entire house as an example.... you know It really is hard to give an example of the average Earth Pony Strength in both the show and Fiction when we mostly see examples of those who are more than exceptional examples of their tribe.
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Yeah, Tarnish is carrying a whole bunch of small, lightweight things.
Rainbow or Daring could actually haul more gear than he can.
I keep track of relative weights based on average weights of bullets, guns, blankets, and food. For example, the ration bars are based on a real world product used for disaster preparedness and they weigh 15 ounces. (They're very, very dry and the manufacturer recommends that you soak it in water and then eat the paste. I have a joke coming about this) A standard issue British Webley Revolver from the WW1and WW2 era weighs 2.4 pounds, and I based the Webblewood revolver on that number. Each bullet has 265 grains of lead, or 17.2 grams, plus the weight of the brass and powder. The 10ga double barrel coach gun that Tarnish salvaged weighs in at a staggering 9.75 pounds. The shotgun shells are slugs, not buckshot, and and you get about 7 rounds per pound, and he has sixty rounds. So that's about 8.571 pounds, but we'll round up to nine for good measure, just to leave some wiggle-room someplace else.
I am writing for realism here, so I am actually putting a metric shitload of work into researching all of this to make it plausible. I do this with a lot of my stories, which is why there are delays in posting chapters, I have to do a metric assload of homework, number crunching, and figuring out what the numbers are. Most of the time, the readers never see this, but I do. So I know just what sort of load my characters are under, and then I can write to make them perform accordingly. I spend HOURS learning about all of this shit just so I can make a somewhat believable, somewhat realistic foundation for my fiction. The process is exhausting and nobody would quite believe just how much work goes into making just one chapter like this one, where Tarnish loots a ship.
I think that if people knew just how much work goes into certain chapters, they would freak out a bit and think I'm nuts.
I am.
Edit: BTW, those bullets for the Webley are monsters. There is a reason why British Pistoleers were a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. That's a goddamn hand cannon.
Well, Tarnish is exceptional at survival, just as poison joke is...
But yeah, those who don't have things given to them on a silver platter do have a different approach to things...
I like it - I'm invested. We know that all four of these characters survive without any physical changes (at least as far as we know, and as far as I can remember) but we don't know if there were any mental changes and if so, how much. Add to this, Celestia REALLY didn't want them going, and I want to know WHY. That's not like her, at least not how she handled it. And let's not forget that Twilight is funding this adventure which goes against what Celestia wants, so that's an interesting dynamic; watching Twilight gain her own footing as an independent leader.
I'm also expecting we'll learn more about what's going on with Grogar and his machinations, this story seems to be the type that is designed to add to, and expand, the larger overall plot of the weed-verse.
And it's just screaming that it's gonna be an awesome pulp-flavored adventure. I'm so there.
with all the supplies Tarnished is getting if this was a video game I would be very worried cause there will be a boss fight to come
This story is giving me all kinds of great vibes. Loving it. From the pulp action to the Arctic survival to the fallout vibe of an old vault full of automatons.
Also:
Tarnished is pretty damned clever, actually. Fighting a superior force using his unique strengths while minimising actual engagement.
I think calling Tarnish "average" is... wrong? His special powers, destiny, etc distinguish him from others. Significantly so.
But I understand what she's saying. He doesn't have an effortlessly superlative ability like Dash does that automatically sets her above everyone else. He struggles to succeed and to keep up, even if his mysterious and special destiny make it possible he can.
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What with the rampant collection of organic materials for self-repair and the assertions of machine superiority... they remind me a lot of the Dr. Who Cybermen.
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Agreed. Teapot works, and works hard to improve and gather new skills. Just look at his efforts to collect and train himself in every magic system he encounters in Venenum, just in case the skills he learns are useful at some point.
Consistent effort at self-improvement trumps talent for results nine times out of ten.
Well personally I like how you describe the scene of Tarnish rummaging the shipwreckage. Kind of reminds me of scenes in Fallout Equestria, with more snow. And I mean it in a good way.
Daring way of describing what makes Tarnish great makes sense. An average pony will push themselves to the extreme limit because they have everything to lose while gifted ponies like Rainbow are less likely to do so