A Lovely New Year
On a chilly New Year's Eve, atop a small hill on the outskirts of Ponyville sat Rainbow Dash. She had a Wonderbolt’s scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, four matching snow boots, and wore a blue winter hat, which had several snowflakes decorated on it.
“Come on…” She restlessly tapped a hoof in the powdery snow as she glanced around her. Flakes of snow gently fell from the heavens onto her lightning-blue vest and around her as she anxiously waited in the frigid weather—which she herself had helped prepare earlier that day at work.
After a few minutes of silence, Rainbow heard the sound of snow crunching behind her. “Oh, I'm so sorry,” came a soft, meek voice from behind. “I had to tuck in Angel, and you know how he can be when he isn't given his favorite bedtime snack.”
Rainbow turned around and smiled as she saw Fluttershy slowly make her way up the hill. She had a bright pink scarf wrapped around her neck, along with four equally bright snow boots and a sky-blue hat.
“Eh, don't sweat it,” Rainbow said with a smile. “Now, c'mon, the fireworks are gonna start any second.” She motioned over the butter-colored mare and tapped the snow next to her.
Fluttershy slowly trotted up to her friend's side and sat down next to her. “I really appreciate you asking me to watch the fireworks with you,” she said as a few flakes of snow fell onto her heavily layered vest. “The noise is usually too intense for me to handle on my own. I usually just retreat under my blankets until it ends.”
“Don't sweat it, Flutters,” Rainbow said as she wrapped a leg around her friend. “If I'd known that the noise scared you so much, I would've watched them with you instead of from Cloudsdale.”
Fluttershy let out a small gasp. “Oh, I couldn't have possibly asked you to do that,” she replied. “I know you much you love the view from up there. You talk about it every New Year's Day.”
“Yeah, but spending time with you beats a simple view,” Rainbow said with a smile. “Now, I have a question for you.”
“Is it a difficult question?”
“Well, no.” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled softly. “I mean, I guess not…” She shook her head and focused her attention back on her friend. “Anyways, I'd like to know: what do you plan on doing for the new year?”
“You mean like a resolution?” Fluttershy asked as she brushed a strand of her mane out of her face. “I guess I want to try and help more animals…”
Rainbow smiled. “Well, resolutions are usually… things you want to do that are new,” she said. “For example: my new year's resolution is to get into more books instead of just Daring Do!”
“Oh, um…” Fluttershy tapped her chin and contemplated.
What would her resolution be?
She'd never thought about doing much beyond what was in her comfort zone. Sure, she'd sung in the Pony Tones, but she'd always wanted to sing.
Then there was flying. She dared not think about actually attempting to fly as many other pegasi would. At least, not in a normal basis.
However, there was one thing she’d been yearning to do—something that nagged at her day in and day out. A feeling she'd held for years, but she never had the courage to approach Rainbow about.
I… could tell her how I truly feel, Fluttershy thought as she felt her heart beat faster with each passing second. Though… how do I say it?
“Um… Flutters? You there?” asked Rainbow while waving a hoof in front of Fluttershy as she seemingly stared off into space.
Fluttershy shook her head and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry,” she said. “I, uh, was thinking about what my resolution would be.”
“It's cool,” Rainbow replied casually. “Now, lemme hear that resolution of yours!”
Fluttershy cleared her throat and brushed a few snowflakes off of her mane. “Well, I could always, um, try to…”
However, as Fluttershy attempted to continue her sentence, a sudden feeling overtook her. One of immense anxiety. She froze and felt a pit open in her stomach. The world around her felt as though it was spinning a million miles a second.
Come on, Fluttershy, she told herself as she attempted to do her best to be assertive and calm. Don’t get yourself worked up. Just tell her how you really feel. She won't judge you! She's your friend!
“Uh… Fluttershy?” Rainbow said as she watched her friend once again enter a catatonic state. “Yoo-hoo. Ya there?”
“Oh, uh, yeah.” Fluttershy blushed and gave Rainbow a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I was just attempting to figure out how to word my resolution.”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “There something wrong, Flutters?” she asked. “I've never seen you turn into a statue while you think. Honestly, it's kinda unnerving.”
“Oh, don't worry, Rainbow,” Fluttershy replied as she waved a hoof. “Everything's fine. I just want to make sure my wording is absolutely perfect.”
“Alright…”
“Anyways… my resolution is to…” Fluttershy felt herself blush intensely once again. Quickly, she hid behind her mane and cleared her throat. “I mean… I'd like to…”
“You'd like to… what?” Rainbow tilted her head and brushed aside her friend's name. “What is it, Fluttershy?”
“I'd like to… be closer with you.” As Fluttershy finished her sentence, her cheeks lit up like a supernova and she buried her face in the snow; her mind racing and now in complete disarray.
Rainbow raised an eyebrow and lowered her head to her friend. She gently lifted up Fluttershy’s head and looked at her. “What do you mean by ‘closer’?” she asked softly.
“I… mean that I…” Fluttershy slowly stood up and walked back, her face hidden behind her mane, and—as quiet as a pin hitting the floor—said, “I love you.”
“What was that?” asked Rainbow Dash asked her now trembling friend's side once more. “I couldn't catch that.”
Fluttershy gulped. She felt her legs shake as they threatened to give way any second, she attempted to think of a response.
Think, Fluttershy! she thought as she once again began to stare off into space. Oooh. I can't do this, Rainbow will catch on that everything isn't alright!
With a heavy sigh, Fluttershy gulped and shook her head. “It's… nothing, Rainbow,” she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. “Let's…” Fluttershy tapped her chin weakly as her hoof shook ever-so slightly. “Let's look at the stars while we wait for the fireworks”
Rainbow let out an awkward chuckle and rubbed the back of her neck. “Um... you do realize it's snowing, right?” she asked with a perplexed expression on her face. “We can't stargaze. Sorry, but snow was on the schedule today...”
Fluttershy looked up at the sky. “Oh…” She glanced at the ground and turned away. “Well… we, uh, could make snow angels. Or build a snowpony. That's always fun.”
Rainbow Dash frowned and shook her head. “Fluttershy, I don't know what's wrong,” she said sternly, “but you're acting… odd. What's bugging you.”
Fluttershy let out another shaky sigh and took a deep breath “I… said that I love you earlier,” she said softly as she did her best to remain calm—despite her ever increasing heart rate.
Rainbow’s eyes shot open. “Oh… I wasn't expecting that,” she said, a look of uncertainty on her face.
“I know, I… I didn't want to tell you,” Fluttershy said as she fell to the ground. Tears rolled down her face as she buried her face in-between her forelegs. “You must hate me…”
“Don't be ridiculous!” Rainbow said as she sat down beside her and wrapped a wing around her. “Truthfully, I've wanted to tell you the same thing. I've just… never had the courage to do so.”
Fluttershy looked up at her friend. Her eyes were red from crying and her fur wet from the tears. “R-really?” she asked shakily and softly. “You… aren't joking?”
Rainbow shook her head. “I wouldn't joke about something like this,” she answered with a warm smile. She ruffled Fluttershy's mane before hugging her.
Boom!
Off in the distance, a blue firework illuminated the sky. Several more followed—each a different color, but equally as vibrant.
The duo turned their attention to the sky and watched as several more fireworks decorated the sky in a display of colors and light.
“Ooh…” Fluttershy stared in awe.
Rainbow giggled. “I take it you like it, Flutters?” she asked with a large grin on her face.
Fluttershy nodded and turned to her friend, who by now was enraptured by the vibrant display. “And you make it all the better,” she said with a smile.
Rainbow blushed and felt tears form in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said as the tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. “You do too.”
As the fireworks decorated the sky with ever increasing speed, Rainbow and Fluttershy embraced in a kiss while Equus heralded in a new year.
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Great idea, but you didn't submit it to your editor before putting it up........ The typo gods are cheering for you.
And... Squee! So adorable!
You get a B-. Not an amazing story, quick paced with occasional grammar errors.
But not bad at all.
7841837 Yeah, I know. I should've at least submitted it for proofreading.
Also, it was adorable? Great, I didn't completely screw up.
7841922 A B-? That's far better than I was expecting—which was a C.
That said: how long do you feel a story like this should be? I wasn't sure in terms of length, and winged it entirely.
7842308
No, not completely...
And now I shall have to torture you with editing comments.
Or just one big one.
No comma needed.
I suggest changing the first 'as she' into 'while waving' to remove the repetition.
As quiet as a pin hitting the floor?
I do believe she trotted up to her now trembling friend's side. But that doesn't make sense, Rainbow never moved away, and she was already close enough to lift Flutters head.
Remove one of those 'as'. Don't want repetition, and it sounds better anyway. And if you remove the second one, put a comma in its place.
Missing a quote.
Having 'you do realize' gives the statement more weight, as well as reading better.
You should be able to figure this one out.
She's already there.
She must be walking in circles, or something. She still hasn't walked away at all.
Again, you can spot this one, I think. And at least they weren't already sitting ne t to each other.
Not a typo, but........
I call BS! Rainbow doesn't make tears! She sheds liquid pride! Just ask Shining.
Instead of from Cloudsdale.
And some of the ones I mentioned in the previous torture chamber weren't fixed.
7842651 Didn't you know? Rainbow was on a treadmill the whole time!
Seriously though: I blame that largely to the fact I added a fair amount to the story. So, I overlooked movement immensely... Oops.
Anyways, I promise not send every disgustingly fluffy story to you from now on.
I make no promises that they won't be on treadmills.
Also, I was editing the mistakes one at a time.
I was in the middle of an Overwatch match.
7842776
You had better send them to me.
Or that happens. And editing comments, those things are torture, aren't they?
7842651
Now, I'm not really a big grammar natzi, or know enough grammar corrections to be an editor, but I'm pretty sure this line isn't a mistake. After all, it's Rainbow Dash's way of talking. People like that purposely leave out words that way, or talk in ways that aren't grammatically correct. The only way sentences in quotes would be a grammar mistake, is if it doesn't match their character.
7842897
I do realize it is correct the way it is, but as I said, the correction would give it more weight. And in a serious situation like that, I could see Rainbow saying it that way.
7842308
If you're making a one-shot (especially if it's a ship), you need to dive into the characters and not rush into it. Giving Dash and Flutters more character in the story makes it much stronger. This would range somewhere between 2.5k-10k words.
I hope you found this helpful.
7842935 Understood! I figured that this was probably too short, though my goal was more "dawww" than anything else. I'm guessing I succeeded. If not... then bummer.
That said, I'll definitely make sure my next romance story is longer!
Greatly appreciate the advice!
7842955
Well you did get the dawwwwwww right.
And good luck to you in the future!
Not bad, not bad. I'll definitely give you an 8/10 for the d'awwww factor.