To the Last Pie

by Amethyst_Dawn

There's Always Joy

The forest seemed to explode around Pinkie Pie as she ducked behind a tree: bark flying this way and that all around her along with both bullet and spellfire. It almost sounded like a party, what with the endless popping, fizzing, shouting, thumping… there was one difference, though.

Nopony was laughing.

She leveled her Earthen Steelcaster- a weapon remarkably similar to our own AK-47s in basic design and purpose, except built for hooves -spun around, and let several bullets fly with deadly precision: each hitting their target dead-on, in spite of the mist, and felling five more Dotsies. As well as a particularly annoying Germaren Shepard, that had decided to latch onto an Equestrian soldier’s ankle.

Afterward, she seized the opportunity presented by the pause in the enemy’s seemingly ceaseless firing, using it to rush across the forest at a blinding pace: and retreat behind the same hill that her captain was using as a makeshift tent. She ducked into cover just in time to avoid a flurry of spellfire heading directly for her.

She pressed her back to the dirt, and held the rifle to her chest as she panted: sweat from such exertion in a humid birch forest matting her limp mane against her neck. Due to regulation, she wore camouflaged armor, but despite her superior’s concerns about her mane and coloration, Pinkie insisted she didn’t need anything else to blend in with the bleary woods of Germareny. Had this been anypony besides Pinkie, there would have been an argument, but her Commanding Officer had reluctantly agreed with her: she only needed a gun.

“How are we doing out there, Pinkie?” The Captain asked, barely looking over her shoulder as she spoke through clenched teeth.

“No good, ma’am,” Pinkie called back in a dark tone, brushing strings of her flattened mane from her face: “We’re sitting ducks down here.”

She thought for a moment, and chuckled dryly as the ends of her mane curled up slightly. “On the bright side, we ain’t gonna be listening to their quacking much longer, either!”

Limestone cursed under her breath, and looked back to the map. “At least we’ve got the quickest Earthen in Equestria with us, Pinks. You’re keeping them on their toes, and that’s all I can ask for now…”

Her brooding was interrupted by a familiar bugle call, and she cringed at the sound of the courageous shouting of the Dotsies. Pinkie’s heart fell into her stomach as realization crept up on her like a panther, and another crack signaled a spell imbedding itself in a wooden plank just behind her head. She didn’t even flinch as she looked around the remaining troops, and turned to her sister.

Limestone took one look at her, and smiled bitterly as she opened her desk drawer, and pulled out a Magic Revolver: “You don’t need to say it, Pinks.” She sighed, “Send out the order.”

Pinkie nodded, and reached for her Mobile Vocal Communicator. Clicking the button on the side, she felt herself nearly choke on her words:

“We’re in a Shindig, my little ponies. It’s a Shindig.”

Shindig…

A word she used to love. Now, however? Now she hated it. It tasted like bile when she said it, and what it meant to the troops left her mane limp once more: no hope. She felt anticipation build in her gut as she ran into a small clearing, and what was left of her allies swarmed to join her in flight as the mist became thicker.

A small squadron of Unicorns charged up their spells and readied their swords; the Pegasus readied his sniper rifle. Her sisters Maud and Limestone were there as well; Maud held a pistol with an axe-like blade on the end, and Limestone held giant twin Magic-Casting Revolvers in each forehoof.

Nopony was smiling, nopony was merry. Only memories of such things held in her head, as the war had stolen so much.

It had not been this way just twenty-four hours ago, however. As Pinkie recalled dearly…

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Kick it a little higher this time, Pinks!” Limestone called from the opposite trench, holding up a wine glass. “Show these germs how to play buckball right!”

The Dotsy officer sitting across from the plastered mare laughed with an honest twinkle in his eye, and called out as well.

“Indeed! We could stand more entertainment in our homes than ale!”

Limestone reached over and punched the officer in the arm, and feigned offence. “What’s wrong with ale? Your stuff gets a mare drunk faster than any of our piddling brews!”

“That’s because with stallions like they got in Germareny, that’s the only way they can get the wives in the mood for another generation!” An Equestrian soldier chided, who was soon met by a mix of boos and laughter from the gathered crowd of creatures.

It was the night before Hearth’s Warming, and both sides of the small battle had been instructed to attack the next day; which was an order that both commanders were sad to hear. Pinkie, in the name of Joy and laughter, had come up with the idea of a final Hearth’s Warming party: one which both sides could attend, and enjoy without fear of treachery.

Limestone, after a deal of convincing from both Pinkie and Maud, reluctantly agreed, and a messenger was sent. Each side surrendered their munitions as arranged, and with Pinkie at the helm, it wasn’t long before all biases and quarrels were forgotten, and picnic tables were set on the ground between the two trenches: and everypony was enjoying themselves in their own way.

Pinkie had done as much as she could to brighten the occasion, from radios playing polka to foods both sweet and spicy, and make this a party to remember. Now she was engaged in the night’s third buckball game: and Equestria was winning. It didn’t help that several of the Germarens were cheering for Equestria as well, including their Sergeant, or that Equestria had to lend them an Earth Pony so that the game was fair.

Limestone finished off her drink in a single gulp, and slid the glass to the end of the table as she leaned onto the private sitting beside her, and looked to the Dotsy across from her: “Sarge, I don’t care if we’re going to kill each other in the morning! I couldn’t ask for a better bunch of ponies to party with!” She called brightly. She was further delighted when her cup was slid back, filled to the brim.

The officer took off his hat, looked at the Dotsy insignia on it, and spat on it before raising a glass to hers: “Duty be damned, you’re the best ponies a stallion could spend his last night with!”

Limestone quirked an eyebrow, and smirked mischievously: “Truth be told, you ain’t so bad yourself, General.”

The Pegasus stallion she was leaning against feigned offence as he scoffed, prompting her to pat his shoulder and chuckle. “Don’t worry, Cloudhopper, You’re still number one in my book.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Pinkie smiled at the memory as her company stood in the center of the clearing, standing in as small a circle as they could: weapons drawn, and pointed outwards.

For what seemed to be the longest hour of Pinkie’s life, the only sound was their ragged breathing. Snow slowly started to fall around them, and Pinkie felt her spirit rise slowly, and her mane started to curl. She slowly set down her rifle, reached behind her, and pulled a device out of seemingly thin air: a menacing device that shared both name and design with our own constructs…

… A Gatling Gun.

It was dark in color, and designed to end the lives of others. Yet, Pinkie somehow felt safe holding it. She knew what would come next. She knew what was about to happen. She heard them before anypony else.

*Crunch*

Her ear twitched at the sound, and her knee felt a slight pinch. The crinkle of new-fallen snow under a hundred hooves was unmistakable.

*Crunch*

Maud heard it too that time, and her expression fell slightly from neutral, and into something Pinkie never hoped she’d see: genuine terror.

*Crunch*

By now they all knew the situation, and Pinkie could feel Limestone’s scowl.

“We’re not getting out of this one, fillies…” she whispered, “… Pinkie, we could use a song right about now. It’ll tell ‘em where we are, but… we need this, and so do they.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hey, ho, to the barrels I go,
To water my throat and dull my woe!
Rain may fall like the wind does blow,
But I don’t care whenever I crow!

Several soldiers cheered as Pinkie and a white Germaren Pegasus danced in a circle on their hind legs in the middle of the giant wooden table: holding each other by the right forearm, and each with a filled mug in their left. The Pegasus' hair was as wild as Pinkie's, and both of their manes bobbed and weaved to the rhythm

Great is the taste of Thundercloud’s Vane
As the stream that falls from castle to plain.
Better than Thunder’s rippling brook,
Is the cider served by an Apple cook!

Pinkie accidently knocked Limestone’s drink into her lap with a kick, causing the grey mare to curse and grumble while those next to her just laughed as Pinkie was too busy to notice. She continued her duet without error, in spite of the slight change of pace by the musicians.

“You can drink the whole sea dry, you can search lands far and wide,
But you’ll never find a cider brown, (Neigh!) you’ll never find a cider brown
As the one ‘tis drank in pony town, as the one ‘tis drank in pony town!

The duo of mares simultaneously let go of each other’s arms, and spun around to face each other muzzle-to-muzzle with surprising coordination, continuing the song seamlessly:

“You can drink your fancy beers, in pub, in barn, in chapel,
But the only brew for the brave and true~!

Comes from the Sweet Apple!”

With that, they slammed their mugs together, and guzzled the remaining liquid to the sound of the standing ovation from the crowd. Pinkie smiled as she looked around, foam still on her lips, and found her mind drifting back to when she last talked with Twilight…

‘Remember, Pinkie, not every Germaren is fighting out of will. They’re ponies, like us, who have either been lied to, or forced into fighting. But most still won’t show mercy… don’t let this new position break you, is all I’m saying, alright?’

Pinkie’s smile only grew broader as she gazed at the soldiers: for many, if not most, this would be their last night. And all she wanted for them was a smile upon their faces, and a laugh in their hearts.

And here they were, mortal enemies separated either by prejudice or loyalty to their country, all dancing about as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Pinkie’s heart warmed at what she was able to do for them: what comfort she was able to bring to Germaren, Dotsy, and Equestrian alike.

It was then that she noticed the Dotsy General conversing intensely with Limestone…

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I’m offering you another route, ma’am, one that might help Equestria’s part in this war.” The General said: tenseness in his hushed voice.

Limestone raised her brow, and nodded in interest. “Go on,”

The Officer quickly looked around in search of his right-hoof officer, and once he spotted him, he sent him off to get a map. He then turned his focus back to Limestone, and offered something more surprising:

“Do you have a way for getting in direct contact with Celestia? I want her to be in on this as well.”

Limestone was taken aback by the sudden request, but didn’t refuse him. “Yes, it’ll take four of our Unicorns to do it, but I think this’ll take priority easily enough.” She affirmed with a nod. “What’ve you got for us?”

“Once your Princess is present, I’ll tell you.” The General spoke, his tone lost between annoyed and understanding at her insistence. Limestone merely nodded silently in comprehension, and sent Coudhopper to get the four Unicorns.

Barely ten minutes after, and all had sat in the Equestrian’s briefing tent as Pinkie continued to watch from inside an obscure apple barrel. The Unicorns had the communication spell up, and the image of Celestia looked a rather bizarre mix of impressed, delighted, and bemused as she was shown the situation. The General looked nervous, as he shook a little, and Limestone saluted snappily.

“I’m not sure if I should commend you for your actions, Limestone Pie, or if I should berate you for fraternizing with the Dotsies.” Celestia stated in a soft- yet stern -tone. “But if I understand you correctly, this General Boarham is offering us something?”

Limestone nodded, lowering her hoof. “He hasn’t told us what it is yet, your majesty, as he wanted us to double-check it with you.”

Celestia raised her brow slightly, before turning to Boarham. “Speak,” she demanded calmly.

It didn’t even take boar a minute to have the table set up and all the pieces on his map in place. He took a red marker and a blue stone out of a small box, and set the stone in the middle of eastern Germareny, before uncapping the pen.

“As you very well know, your highness,” he began, “we are just outside of Lunaburg, and I’m assuming your troop is headed for Marelin?”

Silence, a silence that told him all he needed to know. “I only assumed, Princess, your officer hasn’t told me anything. My own instructions tell me to invade Canterlot.”

He returned his attention to the map, and circled a small town with the marker: “I would divert them here, to Mareklenburg.”

“And what awaits them in Mareklenburg?” Celestia asked patiently.

“Death,”

All present were taken by surprise at his flat answer, even Celestia was shocked.

“THEN YOU ARE ASKING ME TO SEND MY PONIES INTO THERE BECAUSE?!” Celestia boomed, shaking the walls of the tent through her magical window.

After the ringing in his ears stopped, Boar spoke up again. “You no doubt have noticed that it’s heavily guarded? Ever wonder why? Ever find yourself curious as to what they’re making?”

Celestia's demeanor changed rapidly: “Excuse me?”

Boar smiled. “They’re building a weapon in those sewers, one that can change Hitter’s fortune in the war, and increase Equestrian casualties thrice fold.”

Limestone’s expression hardened, as the Princess looked distressed by the news, and the Captain felt the need to speak up.

“Then what will our attack do?” She demanded, finally speaking her part. To her amusement, the General looked pleased that she had asked.

“Do you know what happens when a factory is forced to rush its products?”

Celestia glanced up with a start, realizing the implications of what he was saying. “They miss things…”

“Yes, and the end product ends up flawed just enough to weaken it.”

Celestia, Limestone, and Boar all turned their focus to Maud, who they hadn’t even noticed had been standing by the corner of the table. She blinked, and then continued to speak in her monotonous tone.

“If what the General says is true, the project is supposed to be a secret. Therefore, our suicide attack will make Hitter nervous, and he’ll order them to speed up work.

“Plus, the added security would leave nearby cities vulnerable, and we would be able to move around Mareklenburg like magma around a stubborn deposit of stone.”

Celestia felt her head lowered slightly, as she was starting to suspect where this was going. “And if they stay here?”

Boar mirrored her own actions, looking ashamed of what he was about to say. “We’re even in numbers, but we brought cannons. If they stay, they die.”

“And if they leave… they die.” Celestia countered.

Boar nodded. “Yes, but they’ll have made a bigger impact dying over there than they ever would over here.” He said, before sighing, and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “If I have one regret, it’s that my years in the Germaren military taught me to follow orders beyond all else. My orders are to fight past this point in the morning, and go on until we breach Canterlot, and I intend to follow those orders. However, if there is no opposition for me to fight, I might as well march on to Canterlot! Once at Equestria’s borders, my men will throw their weapons and radios into the sea, and we will place ourselves at your mercy, your eminence.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Pinkie scowled as she leveled the massive weapon, and charged it as the seven barrels began to spin. She began to try and think of a melody, before she heard the stoic voice of her sister:

“You know what to sing, Pinkie. Sing the one from the farm, the Apples’ farm.”

It didn’t take Pinkie a second to know what song Maud was referring to. Once she remembered the verse, she started to hum in tune with the crunch of the snow, as the figures of several Dotsies finally appeared through the mist. Soon, her voice rang into a majestically strong, yet soothing tone as the fire of weapons began:

The sun roll's high
An apple's eye
''Tis open at early dawn

For up the hill
We wait until
We've crisped a tired yawn

The firing ceased from all sides, but the enemy advance continued as the other two pies joined in.

They toil away
Throughout the day
A farmer's works never done

But they smile above
The stars, full of love
For the Ruler of the Sun

The Dotsy soldiers stopped, their faces showing a mix of surprise, and understanding. The Equestrians’ faces only showed resignation as the three sisters still held their weapons at the ready, while their voices carried the slowed melody softly in the wind.

Oh, Celestia smiles upon the work
A pony brings to the door
A hard day's work and apple juice
Fills duty to its core
And so we march, and so we sing
With brothers and sisters arms
As we remember the ones we left
Especially Apple Farms

That verse seemed to strike a chord, as the events that came next went by in a blur. One of the Dotsies- by the insignia on his shoulder, an Admiral –turned on his fellows, and shot one down instantly.

“I may be Germaren, but I’m no Dotsy!” He shouted, ripping the insignia from the flank of his trousers with his teeth, and exposing the golden skull cutie mark underneath. He spat out the material as his fellows started to turn on him, and opened fire.

Pinkie pulled the lever on her Gatlin Gun, and resumed the singing as Dotsy after Dotsy fell.

An Apple's a mere
Earth pony I fear
But they're worth all the more

For with their sweat
And mighty breath
They're the first to rise in war

She heard a cry of pain, and felt something hot and wet splatter across her cheek as Maud fell backwards. Pinkie knew better than to look.

They love with their heart
Then defend the carts
Their family's far behind

The Admiral that had turned against his own legion ran towards their circle, and leapt to Pinkie. She thought he was an attacker, until he grabbed a projectile she didn't see, and fell at her hooves just as it exploded. Still shooting into the mist, Pinkie looked down, only to see half the pony he used to be looking back at her weakly, wearing a frail smile:

"Mow 'em down, ma'am..."

Hearing his vote of confidence, and seeing the smile on his dying face encouraged Pinkie as she sang louder.

They're willing to fight
From dawn until night
Even if they should die

She heard the crunch of bone as another splatter hit her back, and Limestone called out: “Cloudhopp-- Aah!”

Oh, Celestia smiles upon the work
A pony brings to the door
A hard day's work and apple juice
Fills duty to its core
And so we march, and so we sing
With brothers and sisters arms
As we remember the ones we left
Especially Apple Farms

Pinkie felt a bullet rip through her shoulder: knocking her on her back as the weapon flew out of her hooves, clattering on the ground barely a yard away as it fired on.

Oh, Celestia smiles upon the work
A pony brings to the door
A hard day's work and apple juice
Fills duty to its core
And so we march, and so we shout
Remembering as we all sing
And tomorrow let's all go Home
Riding on an angel's wings

Another spellfire flew into her neck, making her gasp for air as she hit the snow. Her voice started to fade, along with her vision.

And tomorrow let's all ride on Home...

Upon an angel's wings

Author's Note:

I hope you all enjoyed this deliciously dark Christmas Special!
A little late for one, I know. But I ran into quite a few issues with my computer...
So, this one's a "little" late...

As always: feel free to point out typos, errors and plotholes!

The Apple's March written by my good friend: Galaxina the Unicorn.
Go check her stuff out, and give her a follow!

Until Next Time, God Bless You!
~Amethyst Dawn.

Comments

[Derpsterette]

[Fireheart 1945]

Oh...

That's what happened to Pinkie (in this timeline/universe)

[Amethyst_Dawn]

7853072
Yup...

[King Kitty II]

Pinkie is best pony.
Why must you kill best pony? Why?
Awesome story. I'll just go cry in a corner... bye

[Amethyst_Dawn]

7868219

I honestly don't know why I put her through so much in my fics...
Thanks! And yeah, here's a hug to go with that: *Hug*

[Galaxina-the-Unicorn]

OH GOODNESS THE FEELS! THE FEELS! WHYYYYYYYY?!

You frigging MONSTER! I hate you! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! HOW DARE YOU KILL OFF BEST PONY?! HOW DARE YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU?!

...(clicks on the fave button and gives it a thumbs up after her rant)

[Amethyst_Dawn]

7891253
Remember, You helped establish those feels!
You think this is bad? Wait until my next Pinkie-centered one-shot pops out...

I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks again for your help!

[Galaxina-the-Unicorn]

7891254

...I did didn't I?

How can Pinkie Pie of all ponies inspire such sad and dark material?!

I can't wait to read it~!

No problemo~! I was happy to help!

[Amethyst_Dawn]

7891284
Yes, yes you did.

Easy! I'm not that good at writing her cheery side!

I can't wait to write it!

[Summer Dancer]

I has a sad now

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8002322
I think I put Pinkie through far too much in my fics...

[Summer Dancer]

8002415 There's never enough Ponk

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8002421
Huh? Oh, I agree, I was saying I might be putting her through too many struggles in my work.
I mean, there's this one, A Pie Without Filling, and I won't even mention what I did to her in When Darkness Breaks...

[Summer Dancer]

8002432 Oh no!

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8002434
My point exactly.
Thankfully, my next Ponk-centered fic will be much more cheerful.

[Summer Dancer]

8002438 Hopefully

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8002444
That's a promise, Sums!

[mordecaimapper]

I don't belive that my request for story "So Far Away..." resulted in a 4 short stories serie! It's sounds great to read all 3 (Rarity POW again also).

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8245539
You'd better believe it!
And it's not quite over yet! Phase 2 is currently under planning.

[VShuffler42]

This was great! The whole series was great. I want MOAR!
My reactions:
First:
Awww. RD's okay! and Applejack's not lonely anymore!
Then:
Hate you Lightning! and Fluttershy's home! even more
Then:
Oh! Oh! Oh! YEEESSS! Wait, No... No, Noo-Oh! Rarity is alive! Yay! We're all okay! ... Wait. What did they say about Pinkie Pie?
*Reads last part.*
Finally:
What... What... This isn't happening. NO, IT DID HAPPEN!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I want to cry, but my body won't let me!!! May you throw the best parties in the afterlife, Pinkie, whatever the afterlife may be...
*I read most recent comment of this story*
8245640 Wai-Wai-Wai-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wait! What! There will be more? Yes! But this comment was over a year ago, and now I feel sad! ...Well, sadder! Please, Please continue this.

Signing out, VShuffler42

[Amethyst_Dawn]

8903429
I'm glad you enjoyed these stories.
Have no worries! I've been having a bit of trouble being motivated to write lately, life and stress and all that. But I am definitely continuing this in the future.

[VShuffler42]

8903505
*Cue clip of a bunch of children screaming "YAAAY!"*
I am happy. Good luck with everything. I know how it feels. I mean, I have over 8 stories I have started writing but haven't finished.

Signing out, VShuffler42