- Member Since 12th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen Dec 15th, 2018
Unicop
For some reason i have the ability to write stories, therefore i continue to write in the hopes of saving what little remains of my sanity.
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What I'm noticing right off the bat is a severe lack of editing. I'm not sure if the 'specially' in your description is stylistic choice based on dialect, or a typo of the word 'especially.'
Then the very first paragraph has a typo with the word 'one,' which should actually be 'once.'
You have to proofread and edit before you post your fics if you want people to read them.
7702859 Whoops, i guess that's what i get for finishing a story and trying to post it after midnight. Went back and read it again fixing any error i found, hopefully i got them all.
7702915
I don't know if this is a typo or intentional. What do you think, Spear?
Must be a typo, Penelopea.
I read that as "Twilight Sparkle writes yadda yadda her mentor, Twilight Sparkle" and was prepared to post "ARE THERE ANY OTHER SQUIDWARDS I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?!"
7702947 STARLETS, WHEN WILL THEY LEARN?
static1.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11123/111237966/5265605-lccsr9y.jpg tfw 5'10"
Shouldn't this be marked mature?
7703207 It is, or at least it should be. I put the proper tags on it for sex and mature content.
7702947 That was intentional, like Spike sometimes calls Twilight Twi.
7703540 Currently showing up with a Teen rating.
(Edit: has been fixed)
7703032 I'm 5'1.5", you ignorant ass.
7704542 small guy
Well, this can only end horribly/well for everyone involved. I expect someone to be traumatized by the time all is said and done.
7705028 Isn't that almost always the case? Even in cannon (Lesson Zero, Party Of One, Inspiration Manifestation, and The Grand Galloping Galla just to name a few examples) :D
I think you mean "sauntered." Unless you mean that Twilight made her way to the bed in a dark or gloomy manner.
So Starlight Glimmer is submitting to Twilight Sparkle, but somehow is her own mistress?
7704963 Small girl, thank you very much. At least I'm short enough to be able to suck dick. You probably have to get on your belly, bitch.
7706146 No I'm straight, I only fuck traps in the ass.
7706157 ../.
The real question is if the Equal Four caught up to Starlight in The Cutie Map when chasing her because she had to take the time to destroy all evidence of her erotica there.
7932884 Given they were all already upset with her about the whole cutie mark stealing thing, i'm pretty sure Starlight didn't really care to much about what they would think if they found her erotica collection.