• Published 6th Oct 2016
  • 14,709 Views, 2,921 Comments

I Am a Pet Changeling - Queen Sanguine Dreams

A simple Tunneler drone is catapulted from Equestria during the infamous Wedding onto earth. Confused, injured and alone, the drone must figure out how to survive with the whole world watching. (Changeling on Earth, Xcom, Men in Black and SG:1 Xover)

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Drivin' Home to Mom; Whomever That Is...

"You just had to go an stop for some blue glowin' lights, didn't ya?" Rough Voice complained, "Oh, lookit those pretty lights Ricky! Let's go stop and see what it is, Ricky."

"You stop complainin' ! Keep an eye on the alien thing in the back while I drive, an' hopefully we'll get home before any X-Files stuff happens, okay?" Soft voice shot back, focusing their attention on the fast moving white lines to our left. I had eventually sat upright in the 'back seat', as it was called, and viewed the passing countryside. The metal beast had "Drivin" past the place I had crashed into fairly quickly, moving along the road with speeds that would make a wonderbolt jealous. This speed came at the price of the beast's complaining, a very loud roar that would stop for only a moment when the metal stick between the seats was moved by one of the not-minotaurs.

"You keep drivin' like this and we're gonna get Sheriff Jacobs on our a-- erm, tail." Rough warned, interrupting himself mid-word for some reason. Soft Voice was about to speak, but Rough stopped them. "Ah didn't say it." it pointed with its finger.

"Fine, you get off this time." Soft conceded. The beast's speed slowed noticeably, though it was apparently too late. Blue and Red flashing lights were behind us, a loud whining alarm following our movements. I tried to see what was following us, but Rough's hand squashed me down onto the seat.

"Ow!" I complained, "My chitin isn't in place, you know!"

"Ya know what?" Rough asked rhetorically, "You just keep this darn jacket over you, don't move, don't say nothin', and we might not get in any more trouble'n we're used to." He then took off some kind of heavy brown jacket and hucked it on top of me. It was larger than I was, considering this entire beast was meant to carry the not-minotaurs. Their clothing was even larger, so I curled as best I could into a ball and hid underneath the jacket.

Our beast eventually slowed to a stop with a quick squeak and fell silent. I could hear muttering between Rough and Soft about 'what are we gonna do' and 'this is all your fault', but soon something tapped on the side of the beast.

Some strange whirring noise later, and I saw a beam of light shining into the car. "Ricky? Maria? What are you two doing out so late at night, and driving so fast?" his voice was different than the others. It was more precise in its wording, more confident and at the same time... friendly. I liked this voice.

"Oh you know, we're just... testin' out the new engine Ricky put in the Charger!" Soft explained nervously. I could feel the anxiety and dread gripping them. I would've helped soothe that, but were I to put forth that kind of effort, I would soon die. I needed love. It was the only way I was going to heal from my injuries and going with these 'Not-Minotaurs' was either going to save me, or kill me slower. Either way, it was worth doing as they said.

"A new engine you say?" Kind Voice said, impressed. "Well, I can understand the need to test your own limits, but there are also laws for this kind of thing. I know you're well aware of them."

"We're very sorry, Officer Brady. We weren't trying to do any harm." Rough voice explained.

"You wouldn't happen to have any alcohol underneath that jacket in the back seat, would you?" Kind Voice asked, and I was bathed in the white beam of light. I froze, holding my breath. "Hey... are you hiding a bug or something back there? Those are some really large wings." His interest was peaked, accompanied with suspicion.

"Oh! That..." Soft laughed nervously, "It's just a costume piece for Linda, for her school play? She was gonna be a giant moth and we had to run to the store late at night to grab some art supplies. Only problem is they don't like the light much so we covered it all with Ricky's jacket."

"A giant moth? Well, that's an interesting play if I've ever heard one. How old is Linda now, anyway? She must be near... seven, eight?" Kind voice replied, being casually chatty. There was no sense of offense or retribution, so I doubted that Soft or Rough would get into trouble with this... do Not-Minotaur have Royal Guard?

"She's almost eight, Officer Brady." Rough voice pitched in, shifting in his seat towards the Kind voice.

"Eight! Gosh, growing up so fast these days..." Kind mused, trailing off for a moment. "Well, you two know what you did, and I know you're genuinely sorry for it. I won't give you a ticket this time, but if anyone else catches you doing the same thing, they won't be so helpful."

"We appreciate it, Officer Brady!" Soft voice called, the Kind voice apparently leaving with the steady crunching of gravel.

"We'll tell Mom you said hi!" Rough added.

A strange whirring sound was heard again, sliding upwards towards the head of the beast before stopping.

"Whew!" Rough and Soft exclaimed as one, melting into their seats. "That was one he-"

"Swear jar." Soft immediately interjected, a metal can of some kind rattling in their hand.


"Swear. Jar." Soft chuckled, shaking the can back and forth again.

"One of these days, Maria, Imma get you on the swear jar."

A few metal clinks later, and the jacket was lifted from my face enough to see Rough. He recoiled a bit upon seeing me. I smiled, and he grew fearful even more.

"Are we safe?" I asked.

Rough gave me a look of curiosity mixed with uncertainty, dropping the jacket over my face again. "Yeah, we're safe for now, alien thing."

"Hey," Soft complained, smacking Rough in the shoulder with the back of their... hand-thing. "Don't go bein' mean to the nice alien."

"Nice? What makes you think that thing is nice?" Rough asked incredulously. He lifted up the jacket from me again, and pointed to my face. "Just lookit that thing!"

"Maybe the fact it hasn't so much as looked at us funny this entire time, and you went and smacked it with a shovel as your version of sayin' hello." Soft snarked.

The muffled sound of crunching gravel was heard behind us, flashing blue and red lights pulling ahead as Rough and Soft flailed their hands at the opposing monster while it went away.

"Think he made a report?" Soft asked.

"Nah, he was probably in the middle of eatin' a sandwich or somethin' when we sped past." Rough reassured Soft.

Soft then poked a metal key into the side of the beast and turned, causing it to roar back to life. The beast itself had no emotions, so it couldn't be alive, right?

"Let's just get home nice an' slow. Then we can carry this thing up to your room, Maria, cause it ain't sleepin' in mine, and we can explain everythin' to Mom in the morning." Rough decided for the both of them.

"Well I wasn't gonna let you have Mister or Missus alien in your room anyhow." Soft tutted, turning the wheel in front of them and guiding the monster back onto the road.

Rough leaned sideways and looked at me. "Hey, you got a name or somethin' ?"

I blinked a few times, lifting the edge of the jacket from my face to look back at Rough. "Why would I have a name?"

Soft looked to me for a moment before refocusing their attention on the road. Rough just looked at me in confusion. "You mean you don't even got a name? What," Rough asked, looking to Soft, "are humans the only species in the universe with names now?"

"Then that just means we gotta name it, is all." Soft countered, sounding like a condescending teacher of pony foals.

"What is a humans; I've never heard of those creatures before." I asked, repeating the strange word in Rough's voice.

"Would you just stop with the voice copyin' thing? That's really creepin' me out." Rough complained. The spike of... I don't really know what emotion it was. It felt slimy, cold and... eugh. Maybe I should call it that; He felt 'Eugh'.

"Well, I don't know how to say Hu-kkcsrk-mi-kncn without it sounding strange..." I chittered. That was a problem of mine. If I didn't understand a word, like most other changelings, then we couldn't properly translate it out of chitter-speak. Most of what these not-minotaurs were speaking was perfect Equine, albeit with a strange accent.

"Okay, new rule. Don't talk." Rough 'Eugh'ed away from me.

"Ricky, don't be rude! This is probably first contact for all we know, and you're treatin' it like a freak!" Soft voice scolded.

"That's cause it is a freak, Maria. It's a gosh darned alien; it's a freak by definition!" Rough barked back.

"Well you're a bully by definition; beatin' up new forms o' life with a shovel. They should make you an ambassador at this rate! Come one, come all, get a shovel in yer face from good ol' Ricky Monte." Soft exclaimed melodramatically, sounding very much like an auctioneer.

"Ooh no, we ain't starting this thing as no regular occurrence! Any more random streaks of light come down out the sky, and you're going at it alone! I ain't no alien hunter." Rough protested, crossing its arms in front of their chest.

"We aren't huntin' aliens, Ricky!" Soft snapped, flipping a lever of some kind next to the wheel. A small yellow light with an arrow flicked on and off, accompanied with a clicking noise. "We're savin' aliens!"

"Psh, savin' aliens she says." Rough scoffed. "You just pull into the darn driveway and carry that thing to your room. I'll open the door and lock up the car."

Soon our beast rolled to a stop outside of a gargantuan house, painted light red and brown on the roof. There was some kind of strange pattern to it instead of the thatched roofs that I had become accustomed to when I was stationed in Ponyville before the attack on Canterlot. These not-minotaur are very strange, creating giant structures that somehow don't fall over. Maybe they have magic?

I felt a light tap on my horn, causing me to reflexively move my head away and stare at whatever had caused the disturbance. A single slim finger pointed at my horn. "No impalin', no buzzin' them wings, okay? You're difficult enough to not freak out at already." Rough mandated.

I blinked in recognition before nodding. Not buzzing wasn't difficult so long as I wasn't agitated. Impaling was actually not even on my mind either. Horns are very sensitive!

Soft then appeared in front of me, buckling the seat forward again somehow and reaching out to me. "Come here, alien bug-thing; I got ya." it was radiating care and concern; thankfully they were sister emotions to love and enough to dull the pain in my stomach from the shifted and cracked chitin. I still wasn't bleeding either; a major bonus!

I was cradled in Rough's jacket and held upside down in Soft's arms like... Do minotaur keep cats as pets? Something like that. The jacket itself was like a blanket over me, only my head poking out from it as the rest had cocooned me. The front door to the house was three times taller than I was and opened with a creak.

"Careful, Maria! We don't wanna wake Mom up!" Rough hissed quietly, sneaking alongside Soft.

Soft carried me further into the house with Rough following along close behind, closing the door quietly with a worryingly loud click. Then, another click was heard, blinding us in light.

"And just where have you... been?" A more stern, yet caring voice asked. At first they seemed upset, but now they were curious and worried. "Don't tell me you brought in another stray dog, Maria! We can't afford to feed any more pets!"

"I-It's just for the night, Mom! I swear!" Soft quickly explained. Somehow this 'Mom' didn't notice me clearly... perhaps she needed glasses?

"Just for the night, then." Stern sighed. "I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep bringing in more animals, Maria."

"No more animals, I swear! Just this one, and no more, I promise!" Soft pleaded, cradling me away from Stern's gaze.

Stern bit their lower lip in thought for a moment before replying in a soothing tone. "I know you want to be a veterinarian, Maria, but you can't help every animal you come across. Not for now, at least."

"I know, Mom. It's just this one last time, okay?"

"You and Ricky get on up to bed now, you hear? You both got school in the mornin'." Stern conceded, slowly shifting their weight and moving steadily up a large staircase, presumably to their own room. Both Soft and Rough waited with held breath before they heard a door close above, letting out all their air in a rush of relief so powerful that it forced me to squirm.

"Hey-hey, stop movin' alright?" Soft cooed, setting me down on the couch. "You doin' okay? That crack you got looks pretty bad."

"I will be fine, so long as I can... eh..." I tapped my forehooves together nervously, looking between Rough and Soft. "I need love?" I meekly offered, hoping they wouldn't take offense and end me after so much effort on their part. I had no idea what value the not-minotaur placed on love, but if I wasn't direct in my needs, I would starve to death.

Rough immediately held his mouth to stop from bursting with laughter, and Soft just seemed confused. "You want what now?"

Author's Note:

Wow this story blew up with likes!

Guess that means the adventure will continue then!

Let me know your thoughts on the story and characters with each chapter!

Much love and thanks!

:twilightblush: I'm already working on the third chapter and had this one sitting around, but I just couldn't wait a few more days to release it :raritystarry:

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