Shining Armor shook his head. “No. Seems like I’m being stonewalled at every turn. But I’m not giving up. I will find whoever did it.”

That's gonna come up later.

Abacus Cinch.

Oh. Joy.

Seated across the desk from her but now rising to her feet was a statuesque woman in a white business dress that hugged the largest bustline she’d ever seen. Her hair was multicolored like an aurora, and she wore red lipstick that complimented her pink eyes. When both women looked toward their new arrivals, the darker woman scowled, while the one in white smiled warmly, seeming almost as though she radiated the very rays of the sun.

Hi Sunbutt.

Twilight couldn’t put her finger on it, but even after the handshake ended, she felt an odd tingling in her palm.

When they arrived home, they were greeted by the sight of a girl Twilight’s age waving at them. She had deep purple hair that was in immaculate curls and was wearing a very nice-looking white dress that hugged a very nice figure. At Cadance’s insistence, Twilight got out of the car to meet her while Cadance parked the car.

Rarity.

Catching Twilight’s eye was a girl their age with long hair that was rainbow colored.

Rainbow,

Sitting at the base of the tree smiling brightly and watching the rainbow haired girl was a girl who was best described as… pink.

Pinkie,

“And this is Rainbow Dash, my girlfriend!”

RainbowPie. Eh, why not?

“I decided to stop shutting people out,” Twilight admitted. “I can’t stay depressed forever can I?”

Quite.

only to in her tired state

I think you need to add a comma after to and state.

Stepping out onto her balcony, she gasped at what she saw. The city looked normal, save of course for the giant white tower reaching up toward the heavens, its peak glowing with an ethereal light. What the hell was going on?!

Spooky.

“This way!” it spoke in a voice that sounded oddly familiar. “Don’t just stand there! Move!”

You must be the local Morgana.

“I promise it’ll be okay,” the bird said, still trying to comfort her. “I’m Nebula. What’s your name?”

Nebula eh?

“Alright. You can get through now. Go home, rest, forget about all this. And don’t come back. For your own good.”

Boy, you have no idea what story you're in, huh, buddy?

It had been an odd day for sure. New school, a new neighbor, the everything with Igor and the Velvet Room, and now this weird world through her mirror. She looked at the key to the Velvet Room on her nightstand next to the holder that she deposited her glasses into. So tired… She didn’t even bother with a new nightgown. She pulled back the sheets but was asleep before she had even finished falling onto the bed.

It begins.

Things really start out fast. Twilight met a lot of important characters here. Not a fan of RanbowPie personally but it isn't a dealbreaker for the story or anything.

11647449
It's a thing in REM too.

11647749
I know. Still not a fan of it.

Hope this continues someday