A little self conscious, I suppose. Hopefully putting these out will help with that.
Bon Bon has crafted a perfect little life for herself in Ponyville. A perfect little house, a perfect little job, a perfect little marefriend. It becomes less perfect when ponies she has never met start to greet her on the street. It seems that somepony else wants a piece of Bon Bon's perfect life, and Bon Bon may be powerless to stop them.
Even if she could... would she?
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Why has this no ratings yet?
oh pinkie. the only pony known who can voluntarily enter the mirrors
797501
Just noticed how she always... notices things. Seemed appropriate.
All right. All done.
Huh. Could have sworn I updated you. Stay published this time!
Nnnooo, I'm pretty sure that trapping her indefinitely in mirror-limbo like that without asking if if they could borrow some love qualifies them as monsters.
Also, I really like the running gag with Bon-Bon not being able to remember ponies' names. I love it when authors throw in random personality quirks like that.
814131
Thanks. Always thought things like that help make a character more than a plot device.
On monsters or not, I wasn't sure myself for a while. Originally, none of them had names and they were all kicked out about five or seven pages in. When it got longer and they got a little more reason than 'we're bad guys,' I got a bit more unsure. Waffled on the ending for a little while. But this was supposed to stick to the friendlier side of the show, so I went with this. I'm sorry if it seems at all sloppy, I really didn't want to waffle on that ending until I lost interest. If it makes it any better, consider that only 1 to 3 of them actually did anything wrong. Whether these three should be forgiven or not is in the eye of the forgiver, though.
I still have to digest this story a bit.
Remove the revealed ending from your summary and you would get a 4.5 out of 5. Suggest how the story develops, but don't reveal the ending.
"and sometimes she’s a pegasus!"
God damn it, Lyra.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Hmm, so not all of the non-bons can see the original trapped in there?
Cya
Raziel-chan
That was nice, didn't spot any problems. I liked it. :3
No, they're not really monsters, they did something really dumb or off desperation, and even then only three of them did it and one immediately regretted it. It'd be the same as calling Twilight a monster for that want it need it spell, and the changelings at least had a good reason for their actions, slow and agonising death by starvation. And it'sclear they all regret it. Well, aside of Buzz, too dumb for that.
Cya
Raziel-chan
An enjoyable story. Maybe add some genre tags to let potential readers know what they might be able to expect?
Maybe Comedy and Drama? There's at least a share of both throughout the story.
As to why BonBon was targeted...
Nice. Weird though that she survived in the mirror for so long with out sustenance.