SamRose
Joined 11th Jul, 2011 ·
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baseball bat
Weren't they outside? If so, 'ground'.
I have to say I rather enjoyed this one.
Admittedly, When I first came here, I would get a short ways into it and my mind went "tl;dr" on me.
But I ended up pressing through it, and slowly got hooked into it.
Looking forward to seeing what you have in store if/when you do another chapter.
7455790
Yeah, I fully admit 22k words is a bit of a slog, and I probably could've cut it up into chapters, but I originally intended for this to be a one-shot and so it kind of got formatted as one.
That's probably where a lot of the downvotes are coming from, but I'm glad the actual content of the story was enjoyable! When I do continue it, the other chapters will be significantly shorter, of that I can promise
7455933 Oh yea, I forgot to vote. Have a thumbs up. And now tracking.
But yea, I WOULD recommend splitting it up into chapters. There are several points that would make a nice spot to break it up, and would make it appear less daunting. Perhaps it wouldn't have taken my third day of trying to get into it before it worked. Save the 22k chapters for when the audience is already hooked.
Oh, and you can thank Extradimentional Alien and his blog for me finding this. Without that, I probably never would have seen it.
7455961
Mostly I'm worried doing that while I don't have any new chapters to upload for it. So once I've written the first new chapter, I'll go back and split up 'Dealing with Slavers' into two parts, Part A and B, then I'll put the new chapter afterwards and give a quick explanation for what I did. Cause otherwise if I just split it up now, it'll show up as 'recently updated' even though it didn't.
So thanks for the suggestion, I'll do that when the story updates again ^_^
7456311 I completely understand. I forgot that would cause everyone tracking it to rush back expecting something new. Looking forward to the next one.
I liked this story. I await other chapters with trepidation. I found the descripions in wich Airia interacts with Hunter throgh her body language, well written, and I enjoied her becoming progressively at ease with him and they opening up to each other. Good work. Thumb up ad traking.