• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Shy_Guy_Animat0r


Hello! I am an aspiring fanfiction author and have begun to start writing MLP fanfics. I am a fairly new writer so any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is helpful!

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After the fight with the human, Sans was finally was brought down. Ready to accept his defeat he dropped down and was ready for death to overtake him...However, before he could pass three unlikely characters are in need of help and Sans is the only one who can do so. Despite his wounds and his lack of seriousness, he crossed over into a world where more humans reside with magic. Now far from home he and his new friends will have to get acquainted, while Sans tries to fight an old enemy of his dreams.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 70 )

Shouldn't there be an other tag, for Sans? I remember hearing somewhere that it's meant for only ponies who don't have tags, but I'm not quite sure.

7148115 Hold on...let me edit that a bit....

I think I'll watch where this story goes.

Seems interesting. I'm not too big on Equestria Girls, but I guess I'll read it.

Real nice man;I hope for chapters, mate!

This chapter has the worst spelling and grammar errors I have ever seen in a whole story. I'm going to post the ones I found here and hope that you'll learn from your mistakes.

The girl vegans to laugh again,

that 'vegans' should be a 'begins'.

Hmm....No, we didn't see antithetical person

'antithetical'? The hell? How did 'any other' or 'another' become 'antithetical'?

"Petite filer," Aria whispered.

now I'm pretty sure what 'Petite filer' is supposed to be but I'm not sure if it was spelled wrong to keep this story at a lower safe to read rating.
There are a couple more but they are incorrect sayings like 'a smile only a killer could love' or 'well if its questions you want' but both of those are from Sans and both could be because of his speaking style.

everybody when chara and sans fight play this WARNING SPOILER ALERT FOR UNDERTALE

Maybe we should keep Fluttershy AWAY from Chara...

7159803 in fact lets just keep everybody away from chara

7160174 Screw that! Flutters is meeting Chara; but is stop by Sans...

7160603 ok but if you mess up this will happen

I can say, this story is really good so far! I can't wait to see what happens next.

"How could they...how could they take him from me," I said clenching my hand. The three looked at me and saw that they weren't the only ones suffering.
"We...we're sorry for asking," Adagio said. I lowered my shoulders and sighed again.

uhh should i turn off the casual music?

I'm just waiting for sans to get in a fight with someone and for sans to make sure they get dunked on.:trollestia:

7241279 it will; I just have to find a perfect fight scene for the occasion...

Huh, I hope this will end well for the Dazzlings. And maybe all of Equestria, if he gets into there.

Right as I unfollowed it! Loved this! Don't worry man I know the feeling. In any case this is going back on my track list.

When i seen Chara and Flowey working together...
OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKNOIT'STHEMOSTDANGEROUSDUOYET!FUCKTHEIRLIVESIFTHEYGETAHOLDOFTHEHUMANSOULSWEARESCREWWEDDOWNRIGHTOTTHEBONE!!!!

7321457 I mean Its fun right :) Also I WANT TO EAT YOUR BABIES

This is the only thing i could think of

Have pasta jokes

7402419 I'll see if I can have Sans do some for the humor....

7385188 Yeah; but then a major twist happens at the end; and you will be filled with Hopes and Dreams!

7427205 This has good potential, but here's the thing;

Instead of only Friendship defeating Chara, why not use Sans' powers, then combine with the Mane 6's powers, after all, Sans is the main character of the story.

7482103

"I missed you too...Chara Dreemurr!" Sans shouted as he formed his faster blasters and his bones.

Typos are annoying are't they?

*the man called for help. . .

JUST FOUND OUT THE NAME OF THE HOTEL SONG

I LOVE IT

7499301 Yeah i sure do. Hold on let me proof read it.

This is a good story. Im filled with DETERMINATION from the epicness of the story

7502493 thank you. And if so, please leave a like it dislike and commit bellow to let me know on what you think and share this story with other undertale/mlp livers as well

and sliced at Sonata, who manage to doge and get back up to her feet.

much wow! Never spelling!

It be funny if you'd kept sans with dazzilings the whole time XD

Ooh nice another chapter for this. Pretty good. Sans and adagio will defeat thag evil demon child

Two paragraphs at the beginning have messed up coloring.

"You're gonna pay for what you did to her," /color] I respond as i flicked my fingers and fired my blaster at them. However they simply lifted their knife and blocked the blast as it made impact.
"That moves getting old Sans," /color] They said. I then placed my hand on my chest and fall to the ground tired and coughing out blood (ketchup).

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