At the request of Princess Celestia, Twilight's friends are invited to compete in a unique cooking competition designed by legendary chef Almond Brownie. Tonight: Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy will compete to see which of them can survive a three-round challenge and walk away with potentially twenty-five thousand bits.
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Ok I was going to save this for the end but... You sir (if your a girl sorry) are my new friend, this is amazing! xD
The concept is good, but the story could use a little more fleshing out. It does have a sense that does follow the show, but it doesn't work as well because we can't actually see it. A little more detail in some parts would be useful. As well as a little more tagging in the conversations. There are several times where it's difficult to tel who is talking, or it takes two or three lines later to find out.
7367673 Thank you for the feedback. I think I spent too much time in my past leaning on script formats, so writing in a more traditional format can still be a challenge for me. And I will admit that I have much to learn about being descriptive.
Dialogue attribution, please. It was only in context that I could tell that it was Twilight who said that and not Fluttershy on her way out.
Please have someone look over this chapter again. You missed some dialogue attribution, and you have added some extra closing quotation marks.
But aside from these and maybe some other minor execution errors, this was a solid chapter.
7368367 I've gotta ditto 7367673 here. This is a nice homage to Cutthroat Kitchen (one of my favorite shows as well), and I liked how you managed to ponify the thing. However, the story could do with a bit more polish.
Nonetheless, it is worthy of a like, and it certainly should have more views than it currently does.
8107373
This was only the 6th story I'd created here, and I wrote it before learning more about the source material. (Not that my descriptive abilities have improved since, but I'm still trying.)
Also, I've been told that I'd get more interest if I had cover art; only recently have I been asking my wife to contribute said artwork (which I prefer to just raiding various sites around the net). Perhaps at some point I'll ask her to create cover art for my earlier stories, but I'd probably ask for other stories first.
This was great. Any chance we could work together on hell's kitchen or masterchef ponified together?
Rainbow will like this cooking show. After all, sabotage isn't just encouraged, it's up for sale.
Did I do it right?
Rainbow, Fluttershy and Celestia are me and my siblings watching this. Twilight is the weirdo who doesn't like it.
Either this is a bunch of actual rounds that you mixed, OR you know how Alton Brown would act, and are really good at making things up.
9935876
Nothing was specifically taken from an actual episode, but I have watched a number of episodes of CK, so it's possible I borrowed some elements without thinking about it.