//------------------------------// // Round 2 // Story: Cutthroat Kitchen comes to Canterlot // by Coyotek4 //------------------------------// “OK, after one round of play, I see that Pinkie Pie still has all of her initial stack of twenty-five thousand bits, Rarity has twenty thousand bits, and Applejack has sixteen thousand five hundred bits. Now that Cinnamon is back upstairs, we can proceed to Round Two. For this round, you will have 30 minutes to create … pizza.” “Yum! Who doesn’t love pizza? The cheese, the sauce, the crust … it’s perfection!” “Well I see Pinkie is enthusiastic about this round. Now let’s see how fast you can shop for supplies. You have 60 seconds, and your time begins NOW!” This time around, nopony is caught off-guard; all three scramble to the pantry, grabbing all sorts of cheeses, sauces, and dough-making ingredients. “I don’t understand,” Fluttershy remarks, “how is pizza considered hi-class cuisine?” “How is preparing food in a turbine considered cuisine?” “Rainbow’s right, Fluttershy. This really isn’t about creating top-of-the-line food. This is about survival.” “I don’t know,” Celestia comments, “Applejack’s salad did look rather fancy. Perhaps we should include her recipe for the next Gala.” “Got enough turbines for the chefs?” Rainbow Dash and Celestia share a laugh, as the remaining competitors grab the last of their ingredients. “… 5 … 4 … … 3-2-1” Almond recites upon noticing that all three had already exited the pantry. “Oh no!” Pinkie exclaims as she expresses great concern and agitation. “Pinkie Pie, whatever is the matter?” “Oh Rarity, it’s awful … I forgot to grab eggs!” “There’s no sabotage like a self-sabotage, eh Pinkie? Well, let’s see if you can’t even the odds a bit, shall we?” Almond walks over to the dumbwaiter and knocks; it reveals a length of rope. “Now most pizzas, of course, are round. For two of you, the notion of getting ‘around’ is about to be more meaningful. Bobs!” Two assistants walk out towards the front of the table in a circular manner, as if they were dancing. The left-front hoof of each is tied to the left-rear hoof of the other. “Win this auction, and you can force both of your opponents to spend the entire challenge bound to each other as illustrated by my assistants. Obviously, you’ll have to get used to walking around the kitchen in circles.” “Sorry girls, but Pinkie likes to work alone. Five hundred bits!” “Eight hundred!” “One thousand! All three ponies actively participate in the auction, as the bidding climbs above six-, eight-, even ten-thousand. Finally, two ponies go silent in dreadful anticipation. “I got a bid of eleven-thousand five-hundred going once, going twice, SOLD to Pinkie Pie!” “Looks like AJ and Rarity are gonna have to work together on this one,” Twilight comments to Rainbow.” “I’m sure the Power of Friendship will carry them through …” Rainbow Dash suddenly bursts out laughing. “Sorry, *chuckle*, couldn’t say that with a straight face.” After Almond levitates the requisite amount of bits from Pinkie’s stash, he walks back over to the dumbwaiter and knocks; it opens to reveal a cream pie. “I’m sure you’re all familiar with the term ‘pizza pie’; well, this sabotage will certainly make one chef tire of that expression. Bring it in, Bobs!” A pair of assistants wheel in a humungous cream pie, as large as the pony bowl from the previous round. Pinkie starts salivating. “Win this auction, and you can force one chef to forfeit her entire basket, and find new ingredients hidden within this cream pie.” Rarity turns to Applejack. “We can’t get hit with this one, it would set us both back.” “Agreed. Two thousand bits!” “Five thousand!” “Seventy-five hundred!” Pinkie and Applejack see-saw their bids, until … “Twelve thousand bits going once, going twice, and SOLD to Applejack. Who gets the pie?” “Let’s have Pinkie Pie get this pie.” “Oh cool, I was trying to give it to myself anyway. Makes up for forgetting the eggs.” “SAY WHAT???” Applejack is shocked to hear Pinkie admit this; she then mutters at the amount of bits she spent in the process. Almond removes almost three-quarters of Applejack’s stack of bits and returns said coins to his briefcase. “I must say, I’ve had quite enough of that dastardly dumbwaiter!” Rarity admits. “Well if it makes you feel better,” Almond reassures, “you have my word that you will not see anything else come out of that dumbwaiter tonight.” An assistant ties Rarity’s left-front hoof to Applejack’s left-rear hoof, and vice versa. Once they are firmly tied together, Almond continues. “OK, the challenge is pizza: you have 30 minutes, starting NOW!” Applejack and Rarity start spinning around counter-clockwise, as Pinkie dives into the large cream pie, eating her way through to the ingredients. “Rarity, we need to coordinate on this. One of us should work on getting the pizza created and put in the oven while the other waits, and then we switch.” “Agreed. You want to go first?” “Sure thing!” Applejacks starts combining ingredients to form her dough. With one flail from her left-front hoof, Rarity loses her balance and crashes head-first onto the ground; Applejack is pulled down with her. “Applejack, please be more careful.” “My bad, Rarity.” The two ponies struggle to get back on their hooves, but soon Applejack is back to mixing while Rarity waits patiently. Pinkie, to her credit, tosses out numerous bags of ingredients as she comes across them while eating through the pie. Within five minutes, only scant remains of cream can be found in the oversized pie tin. She begins to take inventory. “Let’s see: tomatoes, ricotta cheese, flour, yeast, oil … where’re the … uh oh!” Almond walks over to Pinkie. “Did you find the eggs?” “Yeah … I think I ate them in the process of going through the pie.” “Pinkie, those eggs were wrapped in a plastic bag. They were raw!” “I was hungry!” Almond shrugs and leaves Pinkie to figure out a plan of attack. Soon, she’s combining ingredients and working on her dough. Meanwhile, Applejack is adding fresh-sliced cherry tomatoes to the top of her pizza. As she grabs for shredded cheese, Rarity loses her balance again, causing Applejack to slip and instinctively fling her cheese across the kitchen while she tries to maintain her balance. “Aw, horsefeathers! Guess this is gonna be a cheeseless pizza now.” Applejack starts adding assorted toppings to her pizza as the audience observes. “How do you think Applejack is going to explain the lack of cheese to Cinnamon,” Fluttershy asks. “It would help if she were better at lying,” Rainbow answers. “As in, ever.” “Applejack is a resourceful pony,” Twilight assures her friends. “I’m sure she’ll think of something. As the three converse, Applejack carefully walks over to an oven with her pizza, circling her partner the whole way. She gets her pizza in the oven as Almond states, “Ponies, you got 15 minutes remaining!” “Done. OK Rarity, your turn.” Rarity walks over to her station, also circling around as she moves, and begins her preparations. Just then … “Chefs!” Rarity and Pinkie look up from their work, while Applejack strains her neck to look before her. They see Almond wearing what appears to be a large turtle shell. “Whenever I think of pizza, I think of turtles. Win this auction, and you can force one opponent to wear this heavy turtle shell for the rest of the challenge!” Rarity protests: “What do turtles have anything to do with pizza?” “Maybe they’re teenage turtles,” Pinkie posits, “teenagers love pizza! Or maybe they’re mutants, with strange appetites.” “Oh of course. While you’re at it, maybe they’re ninja warriors as well!” “Now who’s being silly, Rarity! Oh yeah: two thousand bits!” “Oh no you don’t, Pinkie Pie! three thousand!” “FIVE thousand!” “EIGHT!” The bidding goes back and forth, escalating far beyond the ten-thousand bid level. Finally … “SOLD for an astounding fifteen-thousand, five hundred bits to Rarity!” “Give it to Pinkie, Almond!” An assistant helps Pinkie put on the large turtle shell; she strains to continue her work under the heavy costume. “Have you ever fed pizza to Tank?” Twilight asks. “He’s a tortoise,” Rainbow responds, “but no.” Rarity reaches for a can of tomato sauce, but in doing so causes Applejack to lose her balance; she ends up swiping at the can instead, causing it to spill onto the floor. “Oh, for the love of … I suppose this is a white pizza, now.” “Time for Rarity to be resourceful now,” Rainbow mentions to Twilight. “So we got one pizza without any sauce, one pizza without any cheese, and one pizza with a dough with no eggs. I’m glad I’m not the judge for this round.” “I think I’m glad I’m on the sidelines for this one,” Fluttershy adds. Rarity gets her pizza in the oven, and Applejack then proceeds to take hers out; all the while, they move around each other. “It’s like a waltz,” Celestia observes. Twilight turns behind her. “Princess Celestia: with all due respect, please tell me you’re not getting more ideas for the next Gala!” Pinkie finally gets her pizza in the oven, setting the temperature to an above-average level to speed up the process. She hears Almond state that there are only five minutes remaining in the round, and starts to bounce in nervous apprehension. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, cook faster!” Minutes later, Rarity gets her pizza out of the oven. Almond notes that she and Applejack are done, and has his assistants mercifully unbind them from each other. Finally, with twenty seconds to go, Pinkie gets her pizza out of the oven and proceeds to add finishing touches as Almond counts down. “5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … and STOP!” A pair of assistants help Pinkie out of her turtle shell, while another assistant hands her a towel to wipe away the sweat. Soon, all three chefs are at their stations, with their pizzas in front of them. Cinnamon once again descends the stairwell and joins Almond. “So Cinnamon, how do you feel about pizza?” “Who doesn’t like pizza? It’s one of the most ubiquitous foods in existence.” “Well, let’s see how you feel about these three. Let’s take a walk, shall we?” The first pizza Cinnamon samples is from Applejack. “I made for you a dairy-free garden pizza, with fresh tomatoes, green and black olives, and basil.” “When I think of pizza, I think of that gooey cheese on the top. I do miss that, but I acknowledge that there are those who cannot enjoy such a version. The crust is made very well, and I do like the fresh tomatoes as a change of pace.” “Thank you, Cinnamon.” Almond beckons his companion over to Rarity’s station. “I created a white pizza, with four types of cheese, onions, and various spices.” Cinnamon takes a bite before commenting. “This really is dry; it barely qualifies as a pizza without the sauce, but I do like the mixture of cheeses you used. The crust is solid, and I’m OK with using onions, but again, you really need some sort of sauce here.” “Understood, sir.” The last pizza belongs to Pinkie: “I created a traditional pizza, with tomato sauce and a thick layer of ricotta cheese.” Cinnamon attempts to pick up a slice, but the integrity of the slice gives way, creating a mess on the plate. “It looks like you had trouble with your crust. It’s missing a binding agent, and that’s causing the pizza to become a red-and-yellow stain on the plate.” He licks at the resulting porridge before continuing: “That’s a shame, because everything else is what I would expect from a traditional pizza. You just had problems with the execution, I’m afraid.” “Yes, chef,” Pinkie acknowledges dejectedly. Almond and Cinnamon return to the table. “So you know how this works, Cinnamon; I got three ponies here but only two spots for the final round. Which pony is getting sliced out of the competition?” Cinnamon addresses the threesome: “Well you all seemed to have an issue with one major factor of the pizza, but you all had good flavors. I have to eliminate one of you, and that one is …” … “… Pinkie Pie.” “Oh, nutter-butters.” “Chef, I just couldn’t overlook the issues you had with your crust.” “Sorry Pinkie, but that means I have to take back the rest of your bits.” Almond levitates the remaining amount of Pinkie’s bankroll back into his briefcase, as Pinkie joins her friends on the sidelines. “You were wonderful out there, Pinkie Pie,” Celestia soothingly assures Pinkie.” “Yeah, I mean with everything you had to go through? That was totally awesome!” “Thanks everypony. It’s just a shame I didn’t make it to the dessert round.” “How do you know the final round is dessert?” Fluttershy asks. “Just a hunch. We had an appetizer round, then a main course round; it makes sense that the final round would be for dessert. Owie!” “Pinkie Pie, are you OK?” “Yeah, Twilight. I think that turtle shell may have been a bit more than I was prepared for.” “Pinkie Pie,” Celestia offers, “If you head upstairs, the castle has certified massage therapists that can help get the kinks out of your back and body. They’re very good, and very efficient.” “Well, I don’t want to miss the final round.” “Almond,” Celestia asks, “could we have a break before the final round so that Pinkie Pie can get some massage therapy?” “I don’t see why not. How do you two feel about it?” Rarity and Applejack gladly accept getting a break after the previous round. “Thank you all.” Celestia turns to Pinkie. “A quick series of two or three massage periods should set you right. Shouldn’t be more than twenty minutes, total.” “That’s great!” Pinkie begins pronking towards the stairwell, but another crick causes another ‘owie’, and she resorts to walking up the stairs. She turns to the others before heading up. “Thanks for waiting, everypony. I’ll be right back after these massages!”