Cutthroat Kitchen comes to Canterlot

by Coyotek4

A Bob-tacular Escort

Late-afternoon: a train pulls into Canterlot station, and a contingent of similarly-clad unicorns is there to greet the Mane Six. They all bow in reverence before the Princess of Friendship, causing Twilight to blush.

“My lady, we’ve been expecting your presence,” one member of the group asserts. “We are here to escort you and your friends to the competition area.”

“Well thank you all very much, uh …”

“Call me Bob.”

The Mane Six all look at each other in mild confusion. “That’s an interesting name,” Twilight remarks.

“It’s just a moniker, my lady.”

“Please, just call me Twilight. So, who are all these unicorns?”

“Well, that’s Bob. And that’s Bob, Bob, and Bob. Oh, and that gentlecolt at the end is Bob.”

“Wait a minute,” Rainbow insists, “how are we supposed to identify you if you’re all named ‘Bob’? Couldn’t you at least have a number, like ‘Bob 1’ and ‘Bob 2’?”

“What kind of pony would affix a number to the end of his name? That just sounds stupid.”

“Riiiight.” Rainbow decides it best not to belabor the issue.

“The princess … er, ‘Twilight’ … and Rainbow Dash should come with me; the competitors will follow the rest of the group.”

Twilight turns to her four competing friends. “Guess this is goodbye for now. See you at the cook-off.”

Twilight hugs each of her friends, then she and Rainbow hop into a cab pulled by the lead Bob. He rides off towards Princess Celestia’s castle.

“It’s too bad that Spike couldn’t join us.”

“Actually, Spike saw this as another opportunity to get paid off in gems for pet-sitting. And he’s only got five pets to watch this time, since Tank is still hibernating.”

A tear starts to form in Rainbow’s eye. Twilight quickly apologizes.

“No, that’s OK, I’m getting used to it. I gotta say, though, I never looked forward to Winter Wrap-Up as much as I do now.”

“I’m very glad to hear that. So what do you think we can expect from this competition?”

“You’re asking me? You’re the one who’s read ‘Good Oats’; you know more about this Almond Brownie guy than I do.”

“Not by much; I’ve never met Almond ‘in pony’. But wow, it’s got to be an honor to cook in his preference.”

A loud guffaw from their driver catches the two friends by surprise. “What’s so funny?” Twilight asks.

“Sorry, I just thought you knew how this was going to go down. I take it none of your friends know, either.”

“Know what?” Rainbow asks. This causes further laughter from Bob.

“Oh, they’re gonna be in for some fun surprises. Even more fun for you two, I think.”

Twilight turns to her friend. “What do you think Bob means by that?”

“I don’t know,” Rainbow replies, “but I’m starting to regret not bringing more popcorn.”
…

Two cabs pull up to the main entrance to Princess Celestia’s castle, and the four competitors are escorted by the Bobs into the main foyer.

“Oh, I never tire of visiting this castle. And that throne room; certainly the most elegant location in all of Equestria.”

“I hate to disappoint you Rarity, but it looks like we’re not seeing the throne room on this visit.” Applejack notes that the Bobs are escorting them to a side staircase, descending into the depths of the castle.

“Oh … I don’t believe we’ve ever been down those stairs before. I wonder what’s down there.”

Fluttershy starts to shiver. “Oooh … I hope it’s not ghosts, or mummies, or zombies.”

“This is a cooking competition, not Nightmare Night!” A couple Bobs laugh at Applejack’s comment. “Uh, what do these fellas know that we don’t?”

“Coordination?” Rarity offers, noting how all the Bobs are wearing the same outfits.

“Hey, maybe they’re like the oompa-loompas from that one book about the chocolate factory.” A chilling thought then pops into Pinkie’s head. “Uh oh … do you think we’re destined to be removed from the competition in outrageously horrific fashion, one by one.”

“Pinkie Pie, dear, I think your imagination is getting the best of you.” The further chuckling from the Bobs gives Rarity pause. “Well, I hope your imagination is getting the best of you.”

The contingent heads down the staircase, then down a hallway, then down another staircase; this latter staircase leads to a makeshift kitchen and pantry. Four prep stations, each with a wire basket nearby, are laid out in a row, with ovens behind them and numerous pans and cooking utensils along the walls. A large, rectangular table adorns the front of the room, with a dumbwaiter behind the table. To the left of the desk lies a pantry stocked with all sorts of assorted foods: produce, spices, and basic ingredients of cooking. Finally, to the relief of the foursome, Twilight and Rainbow sit in an area cordoned off by velvet ropes.

“OK, each of you to a prep station. Almond will be arriving shortly.” All the Bobs scatter to the edges of the area, some levitating pencils and pads of paper, ready to take notes. Pinkie walks over to the left-most station, followed by Rarity and Applejack, leaving Fluttershy to occupy the right-most station.

Rarity is less than impressed with the setting: “Somehow, I expected a more regal affair. This place feels like a dungeon … or a prison.”

Fluttershy begins to shiver. Applejack attempts to reassure her: “Relax, Fluttershy. This is supposed to be a friendly competition; there’s no way Twilight would allow us to undergo torture or anything …” she then turns to Twilight: “… right?”

Twilight turns to Rainbow Dash and whispers, “What have I done?” Before Rainbow can answer, both detect hoofsteps. One of the Bobs speaks up:

“OK everyponies, good luck … you’re gonna need it!”