In a place filled with fierce dragons, mystical mages, and mighty warriors. In a world called Skyrim a journey begins for one man, but not the exact one you might have in mind. After an attack on Whiterun, a guard is teleported to a colorful world filled with wonder. This journey will change the rest of his life, and maybe also all of Equestria.
Note this is a humanized ponies story. If you do not like these then move along please.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This I have to see. Will be back after I read.
Also, first.
EDIT: Alright, not too bad, could use some improvement, but not bad overall. All the advice I can give you is pretty general, so bare with me; You really need to put more description and dialogue in. I understand this is the first chapter and is, so far, only action, but if you put in more description it will generally be better. Like maybe detail Ulfgar's fight with the bandits, at least a bit more if you don't want to go into full detail, and maybe give a bit more speech near the end. Also, if you double space your paragraphs, it will look better overall.
Example: "Could I join you in your journey? I just need to follow you until we reach the next town then I'll be on my own way." Ulfgar began to say.
Halfway through his inquiry a roar shook the trees that surrounded the clearing.
Spaced like that, it makes it look better, and easier to read in general. Beyond this, I can't really think of any advice to give you, but like I said it's not a bad story, and is really a good concept. I'll be watching this story to see where it goes, and hopefully my advice helps you out a bit.
I am dissapoint to find humanized ponies.
Will continue to track.
Will read later! Looks interesting. Humanized is meh but still.
Hopefully this is better then taking an arrow to the knee tracking though
No lollygaggin'.
Now we get to the meat of the story! Any suggestions or advice would be helpful because you could say I am knew to this stuff. Chapters will be taking more time to come out because I am about to head back to school. So hang in there!
I have to say, you're getting better since the last chapter, but again you need to add more description in general. It's a good story so far, and a very interesting concept. Considering I'm already back in school, I think I can wait a bit for the chapters.
This was good.
On his last line however I instantly yelled BIATCH and punched the air. There's nothing wrong with me.
NICE!!!!
this should be really good
FUS RO DAH!!!
Its ok but if its just going to be a continuse re-wright of the hole sieres, well I can say I'd be a little more then disapointed.
1296137 That was just to get the boat afloat, There will be adventures and such away from the actual series
1296421 *Overused Skyrim Joke*
Interesting but lacks development or transitions. Chapter one was shaky but chapter two lost me. Fair idea but lacks support.
1371777 And this is a great example of me trying to rush a story in before the school year begins. Hopefully I can start pumping out longer and better quality chapters.
oh shit ulfgar is a menber or ex-menber of the dark brotherhood
Dats Right BitchSlap Aj With Words
This sounds interesting. I shall track and read when able.
Never do that man if you fare say shit about someone's life they will whip you ten times harder.
Woo a update
Dang it Apple Bloom. Why you gotta be so truthful?
...SHIP.
Riften Guard needs to see this right away!
1701191
gyazo.com/5af3268695cb18b1bafdc5c74ae40774.png
Another good chapter.
Now we wait
I'm kinda liking it so far, but I do have one critique, Ulfgar's conversation with Applebloom flows so poorly it feels like you accidentally cut out half the dialog.
For example:
"So where did you come from mister?" She asked looking up at him.
"Right about now it would be time to get off work and head off to bed." He replied.
I'm pretty sure something like this is used as an example when you look up non sequitur. I get if he wanted to deflect her questions, but the whole thing comes off as a jumbled mess because none of his statements flow naturally from anything Applebloom's saying.
Oh, Twilight. You crazay.
My jimmies...
My jimmies sense something in the force...
Hmm...
haha this story is awsome cant wait for another chapter
I couldn't help but OCD over the part where you say Skyrim is a world. Skyrim is a country/province inside of Tamriel. Otherwhise, Skyrim would contain Only Nords.
Now, time to read.
That bitch was racist!
Great story though.
1214636 I have just started writing a story of my own, and i know how you feel. i would appreciate if you could read it, but I realize you might not want to read it. If you do, then yay!
Also, I know I'm coming in a bit late, but is this anthro, or human? If it's Anthro, then the characters keep some of there pony parts, like wings or horns. If it's human, then the characters have NO pony aspects, meaning no horns, wings, or tails. Just trying to help. It's a great story. I love it so far. 
2568557 I would say that it has very little anthro in it. The only things I placed in are that the unicorns still have magic but no horn and pegasi still have their wings.
Another comment, in this chapter we switched into first person with Ulfgar. I, (as in Ulfgar), described to Big Mac about my life. This story, if I'm correct, is in 3rd person. Not 1st. Otherwise, great chapter.
1667557 Agreed.
2568627 Alright. Great story by the way. You mentioned in the (second?) chapter that Rarity cut her tail. Just wanted to make sure.
at first i thought i was reading the first chapter but turns out it was the 2nd chapter. [FAIL]
If I catch your hoof in my pocket, I'll cut it off.
Umm, you do realize there is an anthro tag. Please use it.
3187659
This is kind of funny since there is nothing in this chapter to explain anthro. Basically in this story only the pegasus retain their wings.
Flutter
Well not exactly
? I expected him to somehow have mehrunes razor and kill nightmare moon.
3... 2... 1. CLEAR ~bzzzt~
IT, call it
3... 2... 1... CLEAR~bzzzt~
3... 2... 1... CLEAR~bzzzt~
GODDA
Time of death: 30th of October 2013
May this glorious fic rest in peace
What even happening. This chapter easliy lost me
No lollygaggin', no excuse!
so fic is dead..saddening
No lollygaggin', no excuse! To true! But what will the guard do! And is there even a law against lollygaggin' in Skyrim?
He never pulled that book out of his pack and as such Applejack has no care for the privacy of others.
My cousins are fighting dragons, and what do i get?
Transported into equestria