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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I just had one of those moments where the moment you favorite the story it gets updated
8150047 Haha, how convenient! Thank you for the support!
....Wow...thou hast caused our face great pain from imagining that last part....ow.
HAHA! Yes!! Run to thy sister!! Gather the Royal Guard!!! Eat the donuts in the break room!!! Find the Elements!! Save the child that was just crane kicked by said Elements!!!!!.....XD Thou have made us curious, so we shall continue reading!!!!
HA!! We are so proud of Luna!!!!! We are the same way in the mornings!!!
8150204 I enjoy your enthusiasm!
Nice!! Thou hast earned a Like!!! And a Follow!! And a Favorite!! And a........Eh We have nothing else...Lol. Great story!!
8150215 Well thank you very much!
.....Now we are hungry.
Interesting
So Luna is a cunt, his physician is a cunt, and Celestis is also possibly a (tactful) cunt. Seriously, why threaten them if they have the elements? Why give someone who has never met yoy a reason to dislike you?
8161078 I can see your premise, but I don't know if I would go so far as to call them "cunts." Realistically, Daniel was being a smug jerk to start with, but I can assure you that these character's "themes" will not be flat, and they will change and grow to fit the story.
*chuckles* You know, you're just confirming the "Luna is an enourmous cunt" bit with this chapter. I mean really, having one nightmare (when the night princess has it out for you) is a flimsy as hell excuse to attack on site.
8161533 I get where you're coming from. I really do. This, however, is the way I have decided to write the character of Luna to start with. I always like to envision Luna as a more actions first, hot-headed character, especially given her position. In her mind nobody would miss Daniel, especially from such a small little town.
I do appreciate your criticism however. :)
I find myself really wanting to
absolutely murderharm Luna. . .i wonder why
8171837 I'm glad I've inspired you to think so deeply about the character!
I'd assume that messing with someone's soul is a crime punishable by a fate worse than death.
8154345 I haven't had cereal in four years
8178789 I don't like the casual mind invasion
Screwing with a soul is just another level down
8178789
8179105
See, that's the thing. Practically all legal matters are based and judged on precedents. However... when's the last time someone absorbed the elements of harmony? Because something like this has never happened before, there are no real legal barriers when it comes to something like this.
8179277 even so I would hope the princesses are above such an atrocity.
Even if they're not above entering someone's mind witch in my opinion should be forbidden magic in its self.
8179625 Well we'll just have to wait and see. ;)
Do Celestia and Luna have some reason to be this hateful towards humans, or are they just bitches to be bitches. This sort of distrust is probably what will cause those visions to be reality. Also about those visions, from Luna's perspective, she has no reason to be going at him for seeing them. For all she could know he is being given these visions as a warning by the elements themselves. There is nothing pointing to him actually doing anything like that. Or maybe I'm just confused
8182050 I'm really happy right now, because that's exactly the type of thinking I want my readers to experience.
"There is nothing pointing to him actually doing anything like that."
See, that's the thing. Luna (and possibly Celestia) doesn't need a reason to go after Daniel, nor does she really care about one. In her mind, this is how it works.
1) Daniel has elements
2) Bad visions about the destruction of Equestria follow
3) Take elements
Luna doesn't need a reason to take the elements, while potentially harming or even killing Daniel. The elements are Equestria's main offensive/defensive weapon, even in the period of peace that they are in. And even though they cast them aside, they would still be the princesses fall back if anything ever REALLY threatened Equestria. To Luna, she needs to get the elements backs at ANY cost, because without them, Equestria is venerable to any future threats. She is a hot headed "actions first" character right now, and the value of one human life does not outweigh the lives of the Equestrian citizens as a whole.
Also, about the "bitches to be bitches" thing? It's not a matter of "distrust in ALL humans," it's a simple matter of the elements being at jeopardy, and their first priority is getting them back. Celestia is quite the benevolent leader, but when something like this is at stake, Daniel's "feelings" are not their top priority.
I hope this clears things up a bit, feel free to ask about anything else. I love talking to my viewers about this kind of thing! :)
. . . . . . . .
Somehow I feel it's only going to get worse for the two boys... And then for canterlot... And probably for the entirety of Equestria.
Honestly if I were these two I would be way more pissed than they are showing. But rather than just lash out I would learn how the elements work and then turn Luna (and probably Celestia) to stone. Ain't no one goin to treat me like that.
8191545 "...I would learn how the elements work...."
Sshhhhhh... ;)
8191594
oops sorry. I seem to be hitting to many nails with my head. don't listen to me I'm just delusional.
8191708 Are you a spy?
Please tell me the guards aren't going to be absolute assholes, I can only take so much dicketry.
8191763
Nope just very proficient in my own version of the 'pinkie' sense. Oop twitchy toe, twitchy toe!
Magic and conjuration is an interesting choice of magic to try and start, but I can sorta see where that is going. Conjuration magic is giving magic (spell or otherwise) a physical form or summoning a creature or object. Emphesis on object or rather objects as In elements of harmony perhaps. The basis of this magic could also be easier to to learn as is focuses on more acquired magic rather than natural innert magic. Sorry I might be getting a little eggheaded.
8195479 While conjuration in the classical sense may mean exactly what you just said, my take on this kind of magic is a little different, and conjuration has a different meaning. You'll see what this means in an upcoming chapter. Until then, keep an open mind, because your definition of conjuration and my definition of conjuration seem to be two different things.
8195568
Alright I'll wait and see. I often pride myself with my open mindedness and apathy. Honestly can't bear to wait, but I will.
Didn't this story used to be over one million words?
PLOT TWIST!!! YAY FUN STUFF!
8204769 Nope, this is a fresh story!
Well clearly I can’t wait for somepony to fetch me a syringe to draw your blood with, nor do I have the time to teleport you two to the infirmary. So I’m just going to use this sword to cut you and see what color you bleed. Don’t worry about the pain though. I have a spell for that.
Yes, clearly this was Celestia’s best option…
For someone who’s been vagally portrayed to be doing things that aren’t violating their well being, slicing someone open to see what color they bleed sounds like something a psycho would do. Considering how long it took them to walk over to see her, you’d think they would've had enough time to get to the infirmary to do this properly.
8205569 Given the immediate implications of what the ichor would mean for our characters, and considering the fact that Celestia had the means to do it right there, what would be the point of going to the infirmary?
Based on the tone he has I assume he realizes the curse of immortality as what it is, a curse? To live forever outliving loved ones and friends for eternity till he and other immortals are the last ones left in a world of death. Or it's just typical shock.
8205742
The only “implications” were that he wouldn’t grow old and die. Hardly something that needed drastic measures to reveal. A syringe would have more than been enough to show what color his blood was regardless of what part of him they stuck it in. The same goes for Celestia as well. As for “what would be the point of going to the infirmary”, here’s the short list:
1.) Using tools from a sterile environment (like the infirmary) would help prevent infection or disease from occurring as opposed to using a sword that needs oil based polish to stay in fit condition for use.
2.) Using a sword world leave a bloody mess on both it and the floor. Not to mention on whoever you used it on. Also, it would leave a scar where ever the person was cut.
3.) To easily dispose of the blood after it was drawn so other people/ponies can’t steal it for an attempt to become immortal, use it for blood magic, demonic rituals, arcane rituals, mind control, alchemic experiments, curses, cloning, creating offspring, etc.
That’s twelve things off the top of my head right there for you. There’s no justifiable reason for someone to just use a sword to cut someone open when you have a modern facility that can properly do the same thing with no pain, mess or scarring. Not to mention a sanitary way to dispose of the blood properly. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that if you can bleed then you can die. Thus rendering you by default “not immortal”. To be immortal means that you can’t die regardless of circumstances. Be it old age, poison, infection, battle, etc. Only gods are immortal and the easiest way to see if someone is a god or not is to see if they bleed. Gods don’t bleed. If they can bleed then they’re just over powered people.
8206414 While I do appreciate the effort that was put into your response, I do have to say that there are a lot of assumptions in your answer when it comes to the way you think about my story.
Saying something like this isn't drastic is something that I just have to plain disagree with. If I woke up tomorrow with irrefutable proof that I was immortal, I sure as hell wouldn't consider it lightly. The implications are something that cannot be ignored, and to say that immortality isn't drastic just doesn't sit right withe me.
I do agree that using clean tools would have been the more ethical approach, that much I cannot argue with. But to assume that all swords and weapons need an oil based polish to stay in proper working condition is wrong in this story. I know that may seem like an absurd claim, but hear me out. In this world that I have changed and altered to fit my view of the Equestrians, magic is the most predominant side of anything that could be considered in any reference frame of time. It's a science. It interacts with the most complex of calculations for anything, while also interacting with normal people in their daily lives. To assume that a spell to keep weapons and tools clean (in the wealthiest and most intelligent city on the planet) doesn't exist would be absurd. To make any major assumptions about this world and the way that magic and people interact would be absurd, from my perspective.
The issue with the blood being a major factor also comes back around to what I said earlier, about how becoming immortal is a big deal. Scarring isn't an issue because tissue repairing spells will become more and more dominant in the field of medicine in Equestria. I know, I know, a common "ex machina" in MLP stories. Healing spells. But of course, you have to consider something. This story does not take place on the same timeline that canon MLP takes place in. In this story, 78 PD is actually close to 2000 years before that Mane 6 is even mentioned. This of course, brings up the question of the amount of technology that they currently have and how much they will progress in the future, but that is for another discussion entirely. Repairing someone's skin is not hard for experienced nurses and doctors, but if you see that as cliche, then so be it.
And about the whole "cloning, offspring, blood magic thing." I do like your thoughts, but these were all made under the assumption that any of these things are real things in the first place. There is a reason that this story is tagged as "AU," and that's because that your take on what Equestria should be and my take on that Equestria should be could be (and likely are) two completely different things. As of right now, I have no intentions to include blood magic, cloning, or creating offspring from blood into my story. And on top of all of that, these are also made under the assumption that any of these things are possible. To me, blood carries no more magical potential than a cardboard box does, even in a world where magic and talking ponies are a thing.
And of course, you said that "if you can bleed then you can die." That in no way, shape or form is true in my rendition of immortality. You assume that by possessing the ability to bleed, you are automatically labeled as "not immortal," which is completely untrue. Saying that gods don't bleed is something that you have come to understand from your interpretations of what immortality should be, and I completely respect that. But assuming that your understanding of immortality and mine are the same is not correct. We're all different, we all perceive things a little differently, and I respect that.
In the end, I 100% agree with you that going to the medical wing of the castle and actually drawing blood would have been the more ethical and cleanly choice. But, given what it meant, and the fact that it really should cause quite the commotion in our characters, it warrants the option of using a sword in the end.
I would appreciate it if you asked questions next time, rather than assume things that you can't confirm as true or untrue.
Whew. I hope that I did not offend you in any way, as this was meant to be a friendly discussion. If you want, feel free to follow up with more concerns if you would like. :)
8206678
No offence taken but you do know that just because you’re taking artistic liberties with your story doesn’t mean I’m making assumptions, right? Everything I’ve pointed out are things you can find in fantasy settings. There’s no assuming there. Also, I can’t help but feel that you could have shortened your reply simply by say that things work differently in your story and that items A - E aren’t going to be touched upon because reasons. As opposed to the paragraphs you used to respond with. Saying that I’m making assumptions about things that are already established in fantasy sounds more like you’re trying to defend something that might have been a mistake that you don’t know how to fix yet.
As for asking questions about the story, why would I need to ask about something that your own characters give answers to? Granted, they aren’t that well explained and sometimes makes them seem like they aren’t thinking about it too strongly (as shown with the sword thing) but the question is still answered by one of your characters regardless. If anything, you might want to work on putting more info into how your world works if you want people to start asking questions about it. So far, all that’s really know about it is that the elements were tossed into a secret cave and left unguarded, the handful of spells that have been used so far, some concepts of other magics that have yet to be implemented and that despite Equestria being advanced enough to take both urine and blood samples for scientific study, using a sword is still the best option to figuring out if someone is in a non life threatening position.
That’s not much world building.
Finally, as for the “becoming immortal is a big deal” thing, it’s really not. Think about it. If you or anyone woke up one day and found out that they couldn’t die of old age, what would change? Nothing really. You would still have to go to work, pay the bills, go to the store for things, etc. The only big thing about it wouldn’t become relevant until decades later when everyone else you know starts dieing of old age. And I believe it wouldn’t take the four of them decades to walk to the infirmary.
If you’re going down the rout that somehow this makes the boys equals to Celestia and Luna because of a common factor that all of them now share, then that would be weird. I can’t see any of the two boys being that good at ruling a major populous. Being Defenders of Equestria, maybe, seeing how they are the Elements of Harmony now and that several other ponies/humans already protect Equestria in this story, but actual rulers? As of right now, they don’t fit the bill. They would need years, if not decades, to reach that point.
PS. It’s more unbelieveable that their would be a spell for everything. If someone is to lazy to polish their own sword to the point that they need to make a spell that does it for them and then never has to do it again, then they don’t deserve to have it. Taking care of your equipment is part of the deal when you own a weapon.
Unless you’re ridiculously rich and don’t care about money.
8206994 While you are correct about fantasy settings containing all of the so-far mention things and ideas in the story, I was merely referring to assuming (I don't like that word, it makes me feel like I'm insulting you) about the way that I have envisioned the ideas in my rendition of Equestria. But you are correct about fantasy stories and movies etc. containing the same type of magic.
I honestly appreciate the criticism that you have given me, and I'll keep this in mind when writing in the future.
"They would need years, if not decades, to reach that point."
;)
Dose this mean Austin is immortal aswell?
8207377 While that was the original plan in my mind up until today, I have been having second thoughts about the character. Recently, I have thought about incorporating a simple "longevity" plan into Austin's character, but this is still up for debate. In a recent chapter, it was mentioned that Celestia could feel magical energy emanating from both boys, but it was much stronger with Daniel.
What do you think?
8208322 well honestly Daniel being immortal while Austin isn't would be kinda sad in my opinion and Austin being an immortal archer would be pretty cool, but it's your call what happens.
So they're both immortal. This seems like its going to put a humongous strain on things, given they never seem to have gotten past the whole "we hate and distrust you, and will control your life" thing resulting from them finding the elements.