Kiro
Joined 19th Nov, 2015 ·
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How did this story get approved without any character tags?
6650542 Slow day for moderators.
Let me just start, by saying that I have reviewed many M/M Clopfiction stories (Much to my chagrin) It is not my cup of tea, in fact, it is far from it, but I know a good writer when I see one.
I just saw one.
The only problems I found in your style was that you use the same word sometimes. Not to the point were it's annoying, but enough for my keen eye to spot. It was also a bit short for my tastes, but I am a blustering old windbag. I am sure once you get more writing experience you'll only get better.
Over all, for your first story, I think you did exceptionally well. 8/10
On a side note, this story was not added to any groups. You're never going to get views without groups. I took the liberty of adding this story to the groups and categories that fit it. Doing this will most-likely get you more views by those that like this type of story. You may also want to get some cover-art, it helps to catch eyes and draw readers in.
Well, that's all from the old man to day. Have a good one, lad and/or lass.
Where are the character tags?
Ah, yes, these other commenters have a point. I was so busy reviewing the story itself that I forgot to look over other things. Simply add the OC Character tag to this, since I don't see any other type of tag required.
6653556
Thanks The Blessed One, that was a really well thought out and useful review. Your help with groups and tags is very much appreciated too. Thank you!
I thought character tags were optional? There's loads of stories without them. Mostly I just didn't know which to use :-)
6654491 Those "loads of stories" are moderators not doing their job. You must have at least one character tag on your story. You got lucky, because if the one good moderator we have (Meeester) would have seen that, you and I would not be talking. Still, no harm done in the long run. (Other then more proof that our moderator are rubbish)
I reread your story again, and I did see something that struck me as odd. For the dialog, you used ' rather then " around them. If that's your style, then that's your style, but most writers on FIMFiction tend to use ' to express in-mind thoughts rather then dialog. This may confuse a few readers, but I won't ask you to change that if it is just your um... what's the word? shtick? Yeah, shtick.