Epilogue: The First Party
“You ready, Twi’? Can you see anything?”
“Not a thing!”
“All right, I’ll try not to spin you too hard, but no promises.” Rainbow Dash reared up and placed her hooves on Twilight’s back and withers, pushing with one and pulling with the other, biting her tongue in concentration. Twilight rotated around her middle, shuffling her hooves awkwardly, as Rainbow continuously readjusted her hooves. A light strip of cloth was tied around Twilight’s face, covering her eyes. After Twilight spun around a few times, Rainbow began to accelerate her speed, prodding and pushing Twilight with her hooves at random places on her body.
At one point, Twilight yelped and her face flushed. “Ah! Rainbow, you… that’s enough, I’m really dizzy!”
Rainbow took a step back and smirked, while Twilight continued to spin, slowly coming to a stop, her head wobbling slightly. Pinkie Pie hopped up to Twilight and guided a scrap of fabric and a pin into one of her hooves. Pinkie turned Twilight another quarter circle and stopped her, then squeaked. “Okay, just walk straight ahead and pin the tail! You can do it!”
Twilight took a few steps ahead, then stopped. She cocked her head and turned it from left to right. Rainbow called out, “Hey, no peeking, that’s cheating!”
“I can’t see anything, really!” Twilight said. “I’m just noticing where the dominant light source is in the room. By my calculations, it should be precisely forty five degrees to my right, but it’s almost at ninety degrees.” She turned her body somewhat. “There, that’s better.”
“Oh gosh, now you’re gonna run straight into the counter, Twi’!” Rainbow said.
Twilight smirked, and walked straight ahead several paces, until her extended hoof bumped into a wall. She reached up and pinned the scrap of fabric onto a piece of paper at chest height. She took off her blindfold, and saw that she had missed pinning the tail onto Celestia’s widely-drawn rear by only a few inches. “Ha! I knew you were bluffing, Rainbow.”
“Wow, Twilight used her Twilight Sense to figure out the prank!” Pinkie grinned.
Rainbow pouted. “That’s not Twilight Sense, it’s just called being an egghead!”
Twilight trotted back over to her. “I think what you’re trying to refer to is called deductive reasoning. Everypony uses it, even you!”
Rainbow spat out a mouthful of air. “Me? I don’t know the first thing about that stuff.”
“Sure you do! Like the night before last, when we were looking at the stars and you showed me how to find your way using constellations. That’s similar deductive reasoning.”
“Oh, heavens, you two were stargazing as a couple?” Rarity and Applejack had walked up to join them. “How romantic! Tell me everything about it, spare no detail!” Rarity giggled, and pulled up a nearby chair, taking a seat and leaning forward.
Twilight blushed. “We were just testing my new telescope by looking at a few planets and nebulae. It was no big deal, really.”
Rarity sighed and fluttered her eyelashes. “I can see it now, the two of you snuggling on a hillside, looking at the stars and then into each other’s eyes, the paparazzi sneaking photos from a nearby bush…”
Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Paparazzi? Why would anypony be sneaking photos of us?”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Uh, newsflash? We’re the biggest couple in Equestria right now!” She flipped her mane and struck a pose. “I mean, I’m the best flier in the history of forever. And, I guess, you’re, like a princess or something, so you’re kinda cool too.” She dodged a hoof that Twilight half-heartedly sent her way, and smirked. “Everypony’s gonna want a piece of this.”
Twilight shook her head. “Well, if that happens, it happens, I guess.” She turned to the other ponies, looking pointedly at Rarity. “But there’s no need to leak any information to the Daily Mare, right?” she said, in a somewhat menacing tone.
Rarity fanned her face with a hoof. “I wouldn’t dream of it, darling! No matter how many bits they might offer me, to, say, give them advance notice of your next outing. In an unrelated matter, how often do you two go out on dates?”
Twilight lowered her face into a hoof. “It’s hardly been more than a week, Rarity! I think we’ve only been on one proper date so far.”
Rainbow turned to Twilight, frowning. “Yeah! Even though we’re hanging all the time, we should actually have dates, like, four times that much.”
“That’s right, for a lot of ponies, spending quality time together is a great way to show how much you care!” Pinkie said.
“Well, that might cut into my research time, but… it’s worth it, of course.” Twilight smiled. Rainbow nodded and grinned.
“Never thought I’d see the day,” Applejack said, smirking. “Y’all are growin’ up, figurin’ out the important things in life, I see. And learning how to be sappy as hay about it, too.”
Rainbow blustered. “Oh yeah? Well, take a look at you and Rarity over here, always fawning over each other and talking like you’ve been married for forty years. Blech.” She stuck out her tongue.
Applejack laughed. “Can’t say I don’t rightly deserve that one.” She glanced towards the counter. “Goin’ to get some more punch. Want me to get you a glass, darlin’?”
Rarity tittered. “I’m quite all right, thank you, dear.”
Rainbow flicked her tail. “Well, I’m getting some punch too.” She turned to Twilight. “Do you want some, Twi’? Or can I get you anything?”
Twilight gave an amused smile. “Sure, I’ll have another glass.” Rainbow and Applejack headed away, and Twilight turned toward Pinkie. “It’s really good punch, Pinkie. Thanks for everything, and for throwing this party!” She looked around at the interior of Sugarcube Corner, which was decorated with multicolored streamers, purple balloons, and a prominent banner which read, ‘Happy Twidash!’. In one corner, a group of squirrels were picking acorns out of a small bucket and attempting to throw them into brightly-colored hoops arrayed on the floor. To their side, Fluttershy and Spike watched and chatted with each other, occasionally applauding when an acorn landed inside one of the hoops.
“My pleasure, Twilight! I love to celebrate important things with my friends! And this one sure is a doozy,” Pinkie said, bouncing in place, “It’s great that you like the punch! This batch had an extra secret ingredient.” She leaned forward. “It’s extra-hot hot sauce.”
Rarity’s smile wilted somewhat. “Oh, I thought it tasted a little, um, exotic. You are quite avant-garde, Pinkie!”
Twilight looked over Rarity’s shoulder to the corner of the room, where Spike was talking animatedly to Fluttershy. Fluttershy glanced towards her with something like an urgent expression, causing Twilight to raise her eyebrows. She walked towards the pegasus and dragon, circling around and passing by the squirrels, who had ceased their game and started chewing on the acorns.
Fluttershy noticed Twilight’s arrival and turned to Spike, who was waving a claw around in the air. “So then, they all came flying out of the trees, like, from everywhere, gliding around like some sort of circus show! And one of the big ones dropped a feather on the ground, so I went to pick it up. Oh, hey, Twilight.”
“Spike, could you give me a minute to talk with Fluttershy? You should go try the punch, it’s actually really good,” Twilight said.
Spike sucked in a breath. “Aww, okay, I suppose I can, but I’ll have to remember where I was in the story.”
“Yes, please! Your stories are always fascinating.” Fluttershy smiled at the dragon, who returned the smile and walked away towards the other side of the room. She turned to look at Twilight for a moment, before blushing and covering her face with her mane.
“Is there something wrong, Fluttershy?” Twilight said.
Fluttershy squeaked. “No, no, everything’s fine.” She took a deep breath, then threw her mane back to the side of her head. “I just wanted to talk with you, about Rainbow.” She looked up and met Twilight’s gaze. “She is an amazing mare, but I know more than anypony that it can be hard to get her to open up and really talk about some things. Like, the way she’s feeling, or what might be bothering her.”
Twilight rubbed her jaw with a hoof. “Hmm, last week I think she opened up pretty well. She told me some things, like how she was scared that, if we dated, it wouldn’t last very long. We did have a really good conversation, I think it helped her feel better. That’s what led to us actually becoming marefriends.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said, seemingly taken aback for a moment, before a smile overtook her muzzle. “That’s wonderful! I knew you were the perfect mare for her. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. I can’t remember the last time I saw her this happy.” Her eyes shimmered. “So, thank you for that, Twilight. A lot.”
Twilight smiled. “Of course!” She took a step forward and reached for an embrace, which Fluttershy quickly returned. The two hugged each other tightly.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s going on here?” Rainbow Dash walked up to the two mares, holding a glass of punch in one hoof. In her wake, the squirrels picked up their acorns and scampered away, chattering to each other.
Fluttershy withdrew from Twilight and hid her face behind her mane. Twilight turned towards Rainbow. “Just having a hug. Nothing strange about that, is there?”
“A little too chummy for just a hug, if you ask me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Fluttershy was asking for a threesome.” Rainbow smirked. Fluttershy eeped loudly.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said, her muzzle falling open.
“Oh, come on, Twi’, it’s only natural. Who wouldn’t want to get in bed with us, the biggest couple in Equestria?” Rainbow tossed her mane.
Twilight shook her head, then closed her muzzle and smirked back at the pegasus. “Well, maybe before you go around suggesting threesomes, we should work on having a twosome first.” Rainbow froze in place, a slightly shocked look on her face. Twilight walked up and leaned in near Rainbow’s ear. “Maybe you can come by the castle later, and we can figure something out about that,” she said in a low voice. Rainbow stayed silent, still frozen in place. Twilight turned around and flicked her tail to smack Rainbow lightly on the muzzle, then sauntered away.
“Oh… my…” Fluttershy muttered. Her wings were fully extended, and a healthy blush covered her face.
Rainbow’s muzzle had fallen open, and her wings were spread to her sides. “Did… did she just… what?” She squeaked.
Pinkie Pie appeared beside Rainbow and draped a foreleg around her neck. “She sure did! It seems that the student has surpassed the master.” She pulled out a wooden pipe in her other hoof and blew into it, releasing a stream of bubbles.
Twilight approached Rarity, Applejack, and Spike, who had moved to chat next to the counter. She stifled a round of giggles.
“What’s so funny, dear?” Rarity said, turning away from Applejack.
“Oh, nothing! I just thought of something funny to say to Rainbow, but it also required walking away for dramatic effect. So I did.”
“I see,” Rarity said, “And what was so funny that saying it would require leaving a conversation?”
“Eh heh,” Twilight said, blushing, and coughed into her hoof.
Spike yawned. “You ponies are all starting to act strange. I think it’s time for me to hit the hay, or Sweetie Belle will yell at me tomorrow for being late again.”
Twilight turned towards the dragon. “You’re heading home? Do you want me to walk you there?” She looked over to the windows, through which the last lights of the setting sun were visible.
“Nah, I can take care of myself. ‘Sides, Mister Squirrel will come with. See you guys later! Bye Rarity!” He waved a hand and started walking away, calling out to the other mares and also to the squirrels, lounging at a nearby table. The squirrels stuffed acorns in their cheeks and scurried off to follow Spike out the door.
Once Spike had left the room, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy walked over to the other three. Pinkie reached out and pulled the other ponies into a huddle. “Now that it’s just us girls, what do you say we pull out the big guns?” She grinned widely.
“It’s your rodeo, Pinkie,” Applejack said.
“Woohoo!” Pinkie released the others and hopped up towards the ceiling, then landed and zipped through a doorway. She returned in a moment, balancing an entire barrel and several tall glasses on her back, which she placed on the counter next to the punchbowl.
“All right, cider!” Rainbow shouted, pumping a hoof and taking flight. She glided over to the barrel and hovered beside it, panting with her tongue out as though she could already taste the contents. Pinkie giggled and turned the tap on the barrel, grabbing a glass and catching a stream of frothing amber liquid. Once the glass was filled, she lifted it into the air, and Rainbow snatched it into her own hooves. Rainbow upended the glass over her muzzle, noisily gulping down the contents. She closed her eyes and slowly drifted down to the ground, her face covered in foam.
“There’s more where that came from, everypony!” Pinkie filled glass after glass, deftly tossing them onto the counter, where they landed upright and in a line. The other ponies walked forward and took some of the drinks.
“Mmm, thank you, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, taking a small sip, followed by a larger gulp. She let out a sigh and licked off her foam moustache.
Applejack chuckled as she saw Rainbow start on another glass. “It still surprises me how much this pony loves cider, no matter how many times I see it. She’s like a worm in one of my apples.”
Rainbow let out a laugh and a hiccup as she quickly finished her drink. She grabbed another. “I bet you’d like a worm in your apple right about now, AJ, hehe.” A devious grin spread across her muzzle and she narrowed her eyes, glancing towards Twilight.
Applejack started and blushed slightly. “Beg your pardon?”
“All righty, then,” Twilight said, walking up to Rainbow and placing a hoof on her withers. She lit her horn and pulled Rainbow’s glass from her grip, levitating both of their glasses in the air in front of her. “Why don’t we have a seat over there, Rainbow, and you can drink your cider a bit more slowly,” she said, leading Rainbow several paces to a table and sitting down on one of the chairs. Rainbow pouted but took a seat, reaching her hooves toward her drink. “Slowly, remember,” Twilight said with a stern look, and lowered Rainbow’s drink to the tabletop.
Back near the counter, Applejack watched the two ponies walk away and chuckled. “I reckon if there’s anypony who can keep up with that mare’s antics, it’s Twilight.”
“They are such a cute couple,” Fluttershy said with a blush.
“Oh, goodness, yes! I’m so glad that night worked out the way it did,” said Rarity. She sighed, a soft smile across her muzzle.
Pinkie turned towards the others and grinned. “We done good, everypony! Helping other ponies find happiness is the bestest feeling ever!”
“It sure is nice,” said Fluttershy, looking back towards Twilight and Rainbow. She squeaked and glanced away, before looking again. With a soft pomf, her wings stretched out in the air.
“Huh?” said Applejack, following Fluttershy’s line of sight. She smirked, and a slight blush appeared beneath her freckles. “Whoa, nelly, those two are really going at it!” Her eyes narrowed at Rainbow Dash, who was looking her way over Twilight’s shoulder and waggling her eyebrows. “Consarnit, Rainbow, is that a challenge?” Applejack turned. “What do ya think, Rares? I can’t take that lyin’ down.”
Rarity giggled. “If you must include me in your brutish competitions, I suppose I can oblige. Let’s show them what we’ve got!” She pursed her lips and leaned in, joining Applejack for a rather rough kiss. Applejack rotated the two of them so that she could look over Rarity’s shoulder and glare at Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie chuckled and hopped past Rarity and Applejack. She grinned up at Fluttershy, who was fiddling with her hooves and blushing, looking towards the floor. “And what do you think, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy looked up and cocked her head. “Huh? What do I think about what?”
“This!” said Pinkie, leaning forward and pushing her lips onto Fluttershy’s own. After a moment, she straightened up, separating their muzzles with a loud pop. She beamed.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she looked into Pinkie’s gaze, her blush deepening. She panted lightly. “Um, more, please,” she said. She leaned in and returned the kiss – in earnest.
And that's that!
Have a good one. 
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Great epilogue, cant wait for the sequel!All of them making out in the end was hilarious lol
That FlutterPie was so shoehorned in it hurt, but I couldn't NOT laugh at it.
I suppose ultimately it was a very Pinkie-like thing to do, though, so maybe it balances out.
Very nice epilogue, and I look forward to a sequel whenever it happens.
6374061 it was eluded to pretty strongly earlier on.
All in all I don't like the execution of the story that much, too rushed to the point of skipping the major plot points in a story like this, and it's never good when the depth you give to a character (Rainbowdash's problems with past relationships) comes off as one dimensional itself. What would that be considered? two dimensional character? Rather than multifaceted?
I like the plotline it's just the execution that I personally feel needed work the epilogue however felt ALOT more natural to me then the rest of the story. Was thinking you were going to give Dash an alcohol problem at the end there, and cause some relationship drama. Just some thoughts.
*edit* I don't background check the writters most of the time. I see this is your first story, the problems I found with it are very common for new writters to make so no worries, writting gets better with practice don't let me discourage you.
Lol, pinkie just pairs the spares.
THANK GOD THERE'S ANOTHER TWIDASH, RARIJACK AND FLUTTERPIE IN ONE STORY! I LOVE THESE!
The only other ones I've heard of are cloud nine and cloud ten.
Also-
My heart just burst.
Call Nurse Redheart...
Tell my parents... I love them...
Oh that is great!
They're ponies. They don't have fists. Can't wait for the sequel!
6374627 Aha good catch, fixed it. And thanks for all your comments!
6374280 It is an oddly specific set of pairings, but probably my favorites
6374121 I do feel like I've learned a ton writing this, so hopefully it shows in the sequel.
6375191 np
I KNEW IT!
-ThePortalPonies
6375366 I know, right!? I've been waiting for that since the bunny rampage!
Sorry, didn't really like this story that much. I mean , I like TwiDash, and I thought the premise was good and there were no obvious grammar or other problems that usually stop me from reading, but there were too many other things that stopped me from enjoying the story.
First, there is too much filler. I like long and detailed stories, but in this one too much of the stuff is totally irrelevant to the story itself, while not serving any other purpose (worldbuilding, character development) that would make it relevant. I think you could fit the actual interactions between Dash and Twi into a single chapter! Much of that filler is also stuff that I think you meant resemble actual visual gags in episodes. The problem is that visual gags don't really work in writing. If you need to use hundreds or event thousands of words to describe a scene that takes a couple of seconds on screen...
Second, the writing. This is actually harder for me to explain, but I often got the feeling that I was just reading a chronological list of actions the characters did. Basically, there was too much telling when describing the actions, and not enough showing. Also, the scene transitions and time skips were too abrupt.
Third, the pacing is too fast. While the story itself is long, too little of it is devoted to actual interaction between Rainbow and Twilight, and what little there was, wasn't really very convincing. For example, I can buy that Rainbow doesn't really want to talk so much about feelings, but you don't describe enough of her non-verbal communications either. You describe almost none of the facial expressions, for example. A large part of human communication is non-verbal, and when you show almost none of it, and the characters talk very little, that doesn't leave the reader much to get invested in.
Fourth, and this is quite subjective. Pinkie Pie! First of all, I really dislike Pinkie Pie. And that's certainly not your fault. But your story is also an almost perfect example of why I dislike her so much. Almost-omniscient Pinkie Pie. Deus-ex-machina Pinkie Pie. Looney Tunes Pinkie Pie. I-do-totally-random-***-that's-somehow-supposed-to-be-funny Pinkie Pie. In short, a Pinkie Pie that completely exterminates any suspension-of-disbelief that I managed to have!
Now, don't take this too hard, I actually did read the story, which is better than the average.
6381816 Hehe, sorry you got so bored, but thanks for the nice critiques! You're right, sometimes only a couple things in a scene were actually relevant to the romance plot line (also maybe it's easy to miss the more obscure relevant things). The end result seems more like an anime or other TV show which gives you a little bit of plot every episode. I personally like the tangents, though. The epilogue adresses the romance part a lot.
6377678 Good critiques as well. Was there a part where I should have put in more facial expressions? I thought in many places it was even becoming too much. Also, you remind me of a certain griffon
:
6378232 I was, and I'm sorry
. If anyone didn't get that reference, consider yourself lucky.
6382386 I had to re-check about those facial expressions, and you are right, you do describe them. I think the actual problem is related to my second point. Those description are very.. tell-y and not very detailed. Basically, while you do tell that the character smiles etc., that's all you do. You don't really show why someone smiles, what kind of smile it is nor any of the other actions related to smiling. Let me try to give an example;
Rainbow smiled.
Rainbow looked on with a lopsided smile, and catching Twilights gaze, rolled her eyes.
Now, the first description tells that Rainbow smiles, but that's all it does. The second description is a lot longer, but the amount of information it conveys is even greater. For example, if she is looking at one of her friends, just by knowing who she is looking at, I could give a decent guess at what they are doing. Like Rarity being a drama queen.
Really, I'm of the opinion that if you have those descriptions, the descriptions should be detailed enough to allow the reader to catch the gist of what's happening even without the dialogue. Not to the extend of, for example, old silent films. You do have the dialogue there. And it's certainly not an absolute rule, I have read delightful short stories/scenes that are only dialogue, but that requires that the dialogue itself is very well thought out.
Authors always have a more detailed view of the story that the one they put down on the paper, after all, it's impossible to perfectly describe a picture with words. And you should always try to boil it down to the relevant information. But if you boil down the painting of Mona Lisa to description of "She smiles", you have lost so much information that the description itself becomes irrelevant.
Heheheheheheee! This is more like it. My perseverance paid off.
6382386
I do understand why you like those tangents. They're effective especially when used conservatively and liberally under some circumstances.
I SCREAMED INTO MY PILLOW.
TWICE.
NOW MY THROAT HURTS OML FANGIRL STRUGGLES
I really,liked how well written all three of the pairings in this story were. It made this story great.