“You're going to regret this Celestia.” Sunset Shimmer glared at Celestia. Celestia stared back, showing a hint of anger. “I am sorry Sunset Shimmer, but as long as you are unwilling to fix the greed in your heart, you will no longer be my student.”
Sunset Shimmer's gritted her teeth as her face filled itself with rage. “I deserve better Celestia! Make me a princess!”
“No. You must earn the right to become a princess and you are not ready. You ignore my teachings and disregard everpony around you. Either you begin to take my teachings over humility and kindness seriously or you will no longer be my student.”
“Shut up! I deserve to be a princess!” yelled Sunset Shimmer. “If you try to get rid of me, it will be the biggest mistake you will ever make!”
Celestia slammed her hooves to the ground, summoning two guards to the room. She directed them to escort Sunset Shimmer out of her castle. “Goodbye Sunset Shimmer. I am sorry but you aren't worthy of such a title.”
“You'll regret this.” Sunset said as she walked with the guards. As they went down one of the hallways, Sunset began to grin as her horn started shining.
BLAM! BLAM!
Before the guards could react, Sunset shot a spell, knocking them both out. She quickly ran down the castle, making sure no other guards saw her. Then, she found the room with the mirror in it. As she slowly approached the mirror, she thought, 'At last...according to my calculations, the mirror should work right now.' Sunset looked at her saddlebags she had on. 'Hmm...I got some money and...the magic journal Celestia gave me?! When did I put that in there?! Well...whatever. It might be useful later...'
Sunset put her hoof up to the mirror and it went through. “Ah! It works!” exclaimed Sunset Shimmer. “Now let's see what's on the other side!”
Sunset Shimmer jumped into the mirror and her body felt as if it being torn apart and reassembled again, turning her into a human being. “AAAAAaaaahhhh!” Then the mirror spat her out in an entirely different world. Her body went flying out of the statue in front of Canterlot High.
THUD!
“Ow...that was...unpleasant...” Sunset shook her head as she tried to get up. She noticed she no longer had hooves. “Whoa...what the...”
Sunset turned around and looked at the statue that had just spat her out. “Is that where I just came from?” Sunset looked down at herself. “And why do I look like this?”
Sunset walked up and tried to touch the statue, only for her hand to go through. “Huh...so this the way back to Equestria...okay...” Sunset patted her back and looked down again. “So...my saddlebag is still on my back...good...but did the portal change me into this? Why?”
Sunset patted her head and her face showed despair. 'My horn!' she thought. 'I don't have my horn!!! No...does that mean magic doesn't work here?!'
Sunset began looking around, looking at the world she had just arrived at. She shook her head back and forth, trying to find a mirror. “I need to find out what I look like...hmm...” She stared at the high school in front of her. “What is this building? It looks like a squashed castle...”
She looked back at her hands. 'Okay, this might take a while to get used to...' she thought. 'But that's fine. These things I have where my hooves used to be are a bit weird though...it's like having five hooves on one hoof! Not only that...' Sunset looked around and saw people walking on two legs. 'Everyone is walking around on two legs! Guess I better do that as well...'
Sunset slowly tried to walk to the high school. 'Okay, this might be a bit tougher than I thought...' she thought as she slowly began to lose her balance. 'Whoa...okay...I got this...I got this...I got-'
THUD!
“...Ow.”
Sunset got up and shook her head. 'Okay...I don't got it...'
A few minutes later, Sunset had got the hang of walking and entered the school. Classes were currently happening so the hallways were empty. Sunset stared at the inside of the building, thinking, 'Hmm...is this a school like Celestia's? Interesting...I think I'll start my new life here by taking over this school...'
As Sunset began to wander down one of the hallways, she glanced at one of the classroom doors. There she saw student after student sitting in chairs, listening to a teacher lecture. 'Yeah...it's a school alright...'
“Hey!” yelled a voice. “Who are you?!”
Sunset turned around only to see a girl with white hair. She had a well built body with plenty of muscles. Sunset, however, saw this as an opportunity. “Who are you?!” Sunset said in a disgusted tone. “Some hag who works out to much?!”
“What did you just say?! Do you know who you're talking to?!” yelled the girl.
“No. Should I?!”
“I'm Gilda and I'm the top dog of this school!”
“Says who?” Sunset showed a huge confident grin. Sunset thought, 'Top dog, huh? So if I beat you...'
“Why you little-” Gilda clenched her fist and swung her fist at Sunset. Sunset quickly dodged to the side, but quickly stumbled, losing her balance. However, Sunset regained her balance quickly. 'Right...not used to this body yet...'
Gilda kept swinging her fists left and right. Sunset kept dodging, constantly stepping backwards repeatedly. Her eyes observed every punch and she quickly caught on how fighting worked in her new body. Then the back of Sunset's head collided with a locker. 'Shoot! I'm out of room!'
Gilda began to try a another punch. As her fist approached Sunset, she quickly reached out and stopped the fist with her hand. However, Gilda then rushed her body into Sunset, slamming into the locker behind her.
WHAM!
“Ugh!” Sunset slowly pushed Gilda back and punched her in the eye with her other hand.
“Augh!” yelled Gilda as she put her hand over her eye. Gilda stared daggers at Sunset and said, “You're going to pay for that!”
“Oh yeah?! Bring it!” Sunset gave a devilish grin. Gilda rushed Sunset, throwing punch after punch. Sunset did the same as the two kept exchanging blows. After a few minutes, the punches slowly came to a stop.
“*huff* *huff* You...*huff*...you're pretty good...” Gilda said with a small grin as blood fell from her nose.
“Heh...” Sunset chuckled. “*huff* I'm the best...*huff* Don't you forget it...”
“What's your name?”
“Sunset Shimmer.”
“Sunset Shimmer, huh? You new here?”
“You could say that.”
CREAK!
At that moment, the locker that Sunset had been slammed into at the start of the fight began to make small creaking noises. The two had fought in front of it for a few minutes where both had been slammed into it several times. The locker was now directly behind Sunset as she began to clinch her fists again.
“Okay Gilda, c'mon...don't tell me that's all you got? Or are you just for show, top dog?!”
Gilda cricked her neck back and forth. “Not even close. I'm going to enjoy this.”
Sunset braced herself for another round only to notice Gilda's face suddenly change expressions. It was no longer a face of cockiness or confidence, but fear. “What the...don't tell me you're chickening out Gilda?!”
Gilda then yelled. “Watch out!”
CRACK! SLAM!
But it was too late. The locker they had fought into fell over on top of Sunset Shimmer. In an instant, Sunset Shimmer lost consciousness. Gilda gave a panicked expression, not sure what to do or say. She looked around, noticing the hallway was still empty. Gilda looked back at Sunset and saw blood begin to trickle down the back of Sunset's head. “Uh oh...I better get out of here...” she said as she slowly turned and began to sprint down the hallway.
Sunset laid there, unconscious. Soon the school bell rang and a flood of students came out of the classrooms. It wasn't long till the students noticed Sunset Shimmer laying there bleeding. Soon, one of the students went to get a teacher and they called an ambulance.
Two weeks later...
“Ohhhh....” groaned Sunset as she slowly tried to wake up in her hospital bed. Her eyes slowly opened as she began trying to push her hair away from her face. Her vision was still fuzzy as she noticed a nurse suddenly enter the room.
“Are you awake?” asked the nurse in a caring tone.
“Ahhhh...ohhh...”
“Are you alright? Does it still hurt?”
Sunset tried to shake her head, only to feel a sharp pain in her forehead. Sunset began to slowly move the rest of her body only for the nurse to grab her. “No, you must rest. Don't try to move so much. Now, are you okay?”
“Ugh...” Sunset's vision fully returned and she slowly began to talk. “Ow...yeah...I kinda hurt but I'm okay...”
“Okay, that's good. My name is Nurse Redheart. You're in the hospital because you suffered from a severe blow to the head. Do you remember that?”
Sunset smacked her lips and stared at Redheart for a few seconds. Then Sunset's face turned from confusion to a face filled with despair. “No...I don't.”
“Oh...well, maybe the blow affected your short term memory. It'll be okay, it'll come back to you eventually.”
“No...that's not it nurse.”
Redheart gave a slightly puzzled look at Sunset. “What do you mean?”
“I...I can't...”
“Can't what?”
“Um...I can't remember...tell me, who am I?”
YES! She can start over for realsies! Make new friends! YAY!
6140894 Thank you. I wanted to try a story where Sunset would have to do things very differently but without Twilight.
Really interesting idea, can't wait for the next chapter of this fantastic little story
And so, Sunset began her journey to the human world a clean slate.... I like that.
...Keep writing...
6141136 Thank you!
6141460 Thank you!
I think you meant to say "Make me a Princess"
6141495 I'll fix it, thank you!
Yay, a new Sunset redemption story! I eat these up. Anyway, for criticism, I noticed that you have some grammatical errors and misspellings in the story, though not enough to make it unreadable. The dialogue seemed a tad stilted and forced. You probably shouldn't have used the word "school" to actually describe the school until Sunset actually realized that it was a school (hope that made sense). It seemed odd that Sunset's first thought upon discovering the building was a school was essentially, "Time to take it over" (though I can see how it'd be in character, given her recent dispute with Celestia over schooling). When transitioning from accident to hospital, put a break to show the change in scenery and time. Also, don't put "Two weeks later" like that; insert it into the story somehow (perhaps the nurse exclaims that Sunset has been unconscious for two weeks after Sunset wakes up. Finally, I had a hard time believing that Sunset, who's only been a human for all of about ten minutes, can suddenly put up a fight against another girl who seemed about twice Sunset's musculature (and who's been a human her entire life, and a bully for at least a few years now).
At any rate, I'm gonna be tracking this story. Hope to see more soon!
6141471 You're welcome...
i love this! can't wait too see more!
hey man can you start following me
6173140 ?
start whatching me!
6173168 whatching?
become a follower
Whoa! Well how about that? Sunset goes to the EG World where instead of becoming top-dog, she loses her memory! Insane!!! This has definitely piqued my interest! Update soon! I'd like to know what Sunset's fate will be!
6173425 Thanks for the compliment! I hope you enjoy the story!
6174246 Sure thing! I'm sure I will.
The idea behind it is interesting, but it's still too son to tell much about the story.
You, my friend, have piqued my interest.
Sunset: make princess pl0x
Celestia: No, you have to pay 20 Robucks.
Sunset: MAKE PRINCESS OR BANNING YO. MY DAD OWNS ROBLOX
Sorry.
this might take a while to get used too
Thosethese things I have where my hoovesGilda than rushed her body into Sunset
1. To.
2. Extra Those.
3. Then.
The action seems to move a little bit too quick for my tastes, maybe slow it up a bit? Or perhaps this chapter is just a one-off.
Gilda must have lucked out, since most high schools these days usually have CCTV of some sort
Funfact: That's not how amnesia works. Amnesia usually entails loss of memory relating to the incident that caused said amnesia. Never has any amnesiac, (outside of movies), ever actually forgotten their name, or so many memories that their identity becomes muddled.
With that said, I shall quit bitching and continue on with the story.
This sounds strangely familiar to Goku's backstory
Iiiiintersting. You have my attention. Lets see what you do with it.
hui, sounds really interesting. Really want to read more, but got no time. But at least something to looking forward for later xD
6439632 Retrograde amnesia is the inability to retrieve information that was acquired before a particular date, usually the date of an accident or operation.[3] In some cases the memory loss can extend back decades
Uh oh... not good. Memory loss is never good. Especially if you can't remember who I you are.
6439632
No, that has happened, it's just extremely rare. Most cases of amnesia do fall within the parameters you've described (the loss of memory of the time period around the event). And in those cases where the damage is enough to lose all personal memory, you're looking at a good chance of other brain damage.
But fiction is all about having incredibly unlikely things happen. People win the lottery or are struck by lightning or just barely missed by all the falling rubble that should crush them.
6620292 Yes, better known as suspension of disbelief, that and considering a locker and every user's junk inside it fell on her, and left unconscious for an unknown amount of time coupled with blood loss. To the hard thinker, that'd be grounds for convenience and "bullshit" logic but in the interest of plot, the reader would accept this as plausible enough at first glance, some readers suffer being "too clever for their own good" and thus spoil the fun that could've been had.
I've finally gotten around to reading this! So, amnesia. It's a crutch, but one that works well as a catalyst for this type of story. Good job on this so far. I'll keep tabs on this now.
One thing about Sunset, she always...
(Wait for it...)
... uses her head!