Scholar Arc
Year 11, Month 7, Day 23
Atlas followed behind two guards who were leading him towards the royal palace. The palace was situated near the top of the lonely mountain, on the uppermost tier of islands. If one wanted to go there, they would have to pass through three other island floors, which housed various other facilities. Atlas and the two guards had just left the third island behind them, which housed the various servants quarters and estates of several noble families, and started their trek up the connecting path on the side of the mountain.
After Atlas’ visit to Belle's grave a few days ago, his friends had come over to help him get back on his hooves. The flat was cleaned up and the time he’d spent with his friends was a calming salve for his still healing mental wounds. It was still there, underneath it all, but at least he felt confident enough to go back to work and lead his life again.
It wasn't long after his re-appearance at work that he was approached by two guards. They’d told him that he was required to go with them and give a statement about what exactly happened the day of the dragon attack.
A day after that, he’d received an invitation to the palace.
Atlas felt terribly underdressed for the occasion, but apparently, he wasn't required to wear anything, which conflicted with everything he’d learned as a human. He could already see the great wall which encompassed the royal palace, the highest spire of the palace barely peeked over, granting Atlas his first glimpse into its regal splendor. Atlas took in the details of the large gate they were coming up to. Two guards stood in front of it, looking vigilant and eying the approaching group with suspicion. As soon as they reached the gate, Atlas' escort saluted and the guard to his right spoke up.
"Upon the request of King Gold Bar, we have brought the unicorn, Atlas, for an audience."
The attention of the guards at the gate shifted towards Atlas, looking him up and down. Atlas nervously smiled at them, even though Atlas himself was technically a part of the guard he couldn’t help but be intimated by the twos towering physique. No doubt, the guards stationed at the royal palace would be the best of the best and could therefore easily overpower him, should he do something they didn't like.
"You are expected, enter." The guard simply said, before powering his horn up, which caused the gate behind him to slowly open.
Atlas' escort dropped their salutes and started down the newly revealed path, Atlas following closely behind them. When they had passed the threshold of the gate, Atlas felt as if he had, once again, traveled to a completely different world.
The island itself was bigger than any he had ever visited, yet the only building that occupied it was the palace. Seemingly integrated into the mountain, the large structure towered over him. It was seemingly built from some kind of red stone, and kind of reminded him how some of the giant cathedrals looked like back on earth. To the sides, the palace started off with a low sloping architecture, barely three or four stories high, and gradually gained height towards the center while curving along the walls of the island. The tower that stood before him was truly enormous, Atlas could barely see the top from where he stood.
Everything that wasn't occupied by the palace itself, provided space for a plethora of flora and fauna. A deer watched them pass by curiously from the protection of a small forest to their right, while to their left was a beautiful garden, featuring flowers of all colors and sizes.
Atlas felt like he’d stepped into a fairy tale with how surreal and majestic it all seemed. They eventually approached the front of the palace, where a huge fountain was flanked by various statues of royal looking ponies, presumably depicting past kings and queens. Important looking unicorns could be seen milling about, engaging in conversation or simply enjoying the scenery, all of them wearing fancy dresses. The sight once again caused Atlas to feel like he should have at least worn a suit, but now it was far too late to change.
Atlas was lead around a fountain, the what he assumed were nobles sending curious glances his way, but otherwise ignoring their little procession. They approached a needlessly large gate, which was currently opened all the way. Once again flanked by royal guards on either side. Unhindered and with much less ceremony, they were allowed entrance into the palace.
Looking around, Atlas found himself inside what appeared to be a hallway, the ceiling of which was needlessly high up. Paintings, busts, flowers and nobles lined the sides in a decorative manner while up ahead a line was formed, leading through yet another set of doors. Atlas caught a glimpse of what he presumed was the throne room through the wide-open archway, as the two guards who had been escorting him, simply led him past the line of waiting ponies and directly into the next room. Needless to say, he received quite a few annoyed glares, as they likely had been waiting in line all day, while Atlas was allowed to take the fast track via his royal guard VIP-Pass.
They entered into yet another massive hall, supported by giant pillars that lined the center, leading towards a set of stairs, where at the top rested the royal throne. The throne itself was seemingly made from a white marble with intricate decorations carved into it. Upon a comfortable looking pillow rested a yellow unicorn with a brown mane, a crown resting on his head that identified him as the King. He regarded the noble currently talking to him with mild interest.
After the courtier had finished speaking with the king, the noble walked away seemingly pleased with the outcome. The king seemed to notice Atlas' little entourage and he motioned for them to step forward.
"King Gold Bar," one of the guards said bowing deeply. Atlas hastily bowed as well, not wanting to offend. "Per your request, we have brought to you, Atlas. The unicorn who was responsible for defeating the dragon."
"Thank you," the king said in a deep baritone of a voice, "you may leave us."
The two guards bowed once again, before walking off to the side, leaving Atlas alone with the king.
"Step forward, brave Atlas."
Atlas did as he was told and walked forward until he stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the throne, where he bowed once again for good measure. He didn't dare talk until he was addressed directly, so instead, he remained silent.
"You have done your country a great service by defeating the dragon who attacked a few weeks ago," King Gold Bar said. "I hear your contribution was instrumental to the wyrms fall."
"Yes, my king," Atlas confirmed. "I fashioned an experimental magical construct with the help of two other unicorns, both of which were sadly crushed by the falling dragon."
"So I've heard," the king smiled, "these runes that you and your colleague discovered seem to be very versatile. And apparently are quite powerful when used by capable hooves. I wish you luck in furthering our knowledge into this lost art."
"Thank you, your highness," Atlas replied courteously.
"It saddens me to have heard that you lost your wife to that infernal dragon, you have my deepest condolences," King Gold Bar lowered his head in sympathy for a moment. "A great many lives were lost that day, and thanks to your quick thinking, there was no doubt a great deal less bloodshed than could have been."
"Thank you, your highness," Atlas pretended to bow once again, but in truth, he just didn't want to let the king see his eyes starting to water at the mere mention of Belle. He took a few moments to recompose himself and looked back up.
"That being said, you did us all a great service. A service which of course we, and by that I mean I, intend to repay," the king said. "You were summoned here today for me to do just that. First off, please accept this medal and the highest award for valor that is within my power to bestow."
King Gold Bar motioned towards one of his attendees, who stepped forward, a small case levitating in his magic. Upon a purple cushion rested a silver medal attached to a chain. A depiction of the lonely mountain was carved on its face, the sun rising behind it. The unicorn levitated the medal out of the case, and over to Atlas, who lowered his horn a bit so that the medal could be slipped over his head effortlessly.
Atlas didn't really care about the medal, but he wasn't about to refuse the king. He had a sneaking suspicion that him getting a medal was just for show anyway. Keeping up appearances and all that.
"It's called the heart of the mountain, and only ponies who have risked everything in battle receive them. Wear it proudly," King Gold Bar continued. "I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that there is also a monetary compensation bundled with it.”
"And last, but not least, for your great service, I'd like to offer you the opportunity to take part in the raising of the sun. It is a great honor, and you've earned a place in the ceremony."
Now, that got Atlas excited! Everypony in the kingdom knew that a group of ponies was tasked with the raising of the sun and moon every day. Being allowed to take part in this sacred ritual was something every unicorn strived for, Atlas being no different.
"It would be an honor, your highness. I accept!" Atlas blurted out hastily, once again bowing his head, but this time with a big smile on his face.
"Very well, then," King gold Bar nodded, "you'll soon receive further instructions on the matter. I once again thank you for your service, and may the heavenly beings guide your path. You're dismissed."
Atlas bowed a few times more, for good measure, while taking a few steps back, before eventually turning around and trotting towards the exit of the throne room. Contrary to his entry, the nobles that stood in line regarded him with a great deal of interest and respect. Or at least the ponies who were within earshot did so. As he got further away from the throne, he once again received little more than unhappy glances.
Atlas didn't care, though. His mind was awash beneath daydreams of raising the sun, and a chance to rub shoulders with the greatest magical minds in the kingdom. He'd have to study hard so that he wouldn't bring shame upon himself.
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Atlas stood at the top of the highest tower of the royal palace. It was still early in the morning and the moon was on its way towards the horizon. From his position he could see all the way to the mountain ranges in the distance, the kingdom below him was calm and silent, devoid of the hustle and bustle that would soon appear alongside the dawn.
Today was the day Atlas would help raise the sun.
The day after his trip to the palace he was visited by an elderly unicorn in ceremonial sun robes, who had come to teach him all the required spells of the ceremonial raising. His robes were a deep black, little white dots scattered all over it, representing the night sky, while the accents were a vibrant gold, with a few reds strewn into the mix. A similar set of robes currently rested on Atlas' body, as well as the other nine unicorns that were gathered there with him.
"It is time, young Atlas," a voice behind him said.
Atlas turned around to face his company, which mostly consisted of old unicorns. Each and every one of them was more powerful than him by a wide margin. As he surveyed the room Atlas didn’t doubt for a second that the mages before him had forgotten more about magic than he’d ever learned. Even though they were plenty old, a spark of wisdom glinted in their eyes as they took position around the center of the room, forming a circle with a free spot for Atlas.
Stepping up to fill the hole in their formation, Atlas tried to remain as serious as possible. He couldn't afford to mess up, it would utterly destroy his reputation. All things considered the others would most likely be able to raise the celestial body without his help, but it would still bring shame upon his name if he failed at this most sacred of tasks.
"Begin," The eldest simply said, when the moon started to sink behind the horizon, causing everypony present to flare up their horns.
Raising the sun was a team effort, achieved by multiple unicorns combining and supporting each other's spells through a focus that stood in the middle of their formation. A large monolith that looked like it was melded from hundreds of individual strings of various materials. They wove and circled around each other until they scattered into all directions at the top, reminding Atlas of a tree.
Carefully, Atlas started to weave his first spell, intended to connect him to the focus. He could feel his magic joining the others, an alien sensation washed over him that was strange and yet comforting at the same time. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to be submerged in the sensation while continuing on to the second spell. He started to feed his mana into the focus, feeling the others do the same until a faint hum started resonating around them.
Last but not least, the eldest of the present unicorns started to cast the actual spell to raise the sun, while the others joined with a minor spell intended to support him and keep the flow of mana stable.
Atlas was nearly overwhelmed once the spell was complete. The sudden connection to the sun made him feel insignificant and small, the celestial body's presence in his mind shook him to the very core. He had never before felt something so powerful, yet so serene.
Following the others lead purely by reaction, Atlas started to lend his power to their purpose, which was to gently push the sun into its intended orbit. To Atlas, it felt like they spent an eternity just guiding the huge ball of fire along, when in real time barely five minutes had passed.
The spell was finished, and the flow of power slowly ebbed, yet Atlas felt like his very soul was catapulted back into his body. With a gasp he opened his eyes, feeling like he had run a marathon. Chuckles resounded around the room, as the elders regarded him with mirth, none of them looking worse for wear. They slowly started to file out of the room and towards the stairs that would lead them down the tower while the first rays of sunlight started to filter in through the windows behind Atlas.
The eldest approached Atlas, a light blue unicorn stallion with a mane as white as snow, and wrinkles all over his face. He put a hoof on the shoulder of a baffled looking Atlas with a smile on his face.
"Well? How was it?" He asked, barely suppressing a laugh at Atlas astounded visage.
"That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced in my entire life..." Atlas responded with wide eyes.
"That's what everypony says after their first time," the elder laughed. "Well, take your time to process your experience and feel free to come join us for a hearty breakfast downstairs once you're ready."
The elder tapped Atlas’ shoulder reassuringly a few times and headed for the stairs. Meanwhile, Atlas found that his shaky leg no longer wanted to support him and plopped down into a sitting position. He continued staring at the focus in the center of the room while trying to remember the feeling that the sun gave off.
Atlas was sure that no matter how long he'd live, today was a day that he'd never forget.
Neat
I want him to meet the celestial twins
personally I'm fine with what ever
It's up to you. Do you want it to be a long story or a broken up shorter stories. Up to you we can't really decide it for you.
I'd say that separate books is fine. Especially when time jumps are involved...
I vote for seperate stories for the continuation.
I don't mind either way. If you want to split the arcs into their own separate books, go for it.
Take advice from someone who knows... break your story up. I regret not doing so for my own story every day I think about it. Breaking it up wI'll give you a chance to work out a few chapters before publishing them. Just my two cents.
Of course no harm in simply pressing on with the new arc here.
Okay, I'll admit I feared there would be some catch to the raising the sun thing. Too many common headcanons about it draining a unicorn's magic and stuff like that
As for the books thing... up to you. On one hoof, keeping it together makes it easier to eventually read through the whole thing, pushes you up the rankings on the 'long runner' bookshelves and look impressive on the resume.It also lessens the chance of your readers missing the continuations, and later readers missing it. I can attest that I've occasionally missed when sequels started up.
On another hoof, splitting it helps you contain the story arc better and set the reader mood and expectations. It also looks impressive on the resume for other reasons (multi stories vs really long.) Not to mention it increases your visibility somewhat, giving a chance for new readers to find your work when the new stories are added to the Just Released Queue and groups. It is also less intimidating. Some might not want to tackle a 200-250+k word story as readily, if only delaying it for a while.
All in all, you can go either way, but I think there are more benefits in the splitting route. I prefer keeping it together personally (for no real reason...) but splitting has more boons and keeping together at least one more bane.
Why does it feel like, this was all a ploy. That the king suspects the true depths of Atlas's power and used the melding in the ritual, to have his sages take a proper look.
Well this was an intneresting chapter whole new plebiscites are opening up to him now with being admitted to the royal court now. I wanter what Atlas teachers would think of him now.
In the comics, the raising of the sun by unicorns slowly sapped them of their magic until they couldn't cast anymore. Does that apply here?
If it does, it implies a completely different picture from what the king is showing/intending and indicates hidden maliciousness on the side of the king.
I vote same story. If this was marked complete so 'soon' into Atlas' story overall, I'd feel rather irked, since I tend to hunt for complete stories so I'm not caught hanging on a dead fic.
8015325 It's not headcanon, it's Word of God MLP canon that raising the Sun and Moon will tax a Unicorn's magic, eventually resulting them in being unable to do magic forever more. That's why Celestia and Luna are so remarkable.
Same story yo.
Great chapter!
I say keep posting in this story. To me making Sequel are just tedious. If you complete this story and eventually decide to write more thats one thing, but chopping up your story like that just seems unnecessary to me.
Was this a one time thing? Or is Atlas joining the raising the sun team?
Honestly I think it depends on where you want to pick up after the next 2 mini-filler arcs you have! If after those arcs you come back to Atlas in the present wheres he's in the cavern looking at the cracks then that would be a good place to ent this story and start a sequel if the sequel is long enough that you think it deserves a second story to continue it!
Super huge stories can sometimes scare off new readers. While I'm fine with whatever you decide to do, splitting the story into multiple books will likely net you more readers in the long run. Especially since there are some who refuse to even consider a story until it's marked 'complete'. Looking forward to more, whatever you end up doing.
Same book I think, it's tedious to read several separate stories unless each one is short. It's easier to have one story.
You should start a new story if the narrative or tone is different than the first arc. Otherwise it should stay within the same story. That being said. I cant wait till Atlas meets Celestia and Luna.
I've seen a lot of stories lose a following because it was split into multiple parts. This fic doesn't deserve that. I say keep it in one story.
FUCK YEAH!!!UPDATE!!!!!!!
My advice to you is only split the storry if you intend to change your writing style other than that keep at it with the classic main arch sub arch comedic storry and arch end style you are using. (For if someone thinks the arch system that i stated above is a play on play its only said in matter of importance)
I hardly think it necessary to make additional books to the story.
Enjoyed the chapter by the way I heard King Leer from The Last Unicorn played by the late Christopher Lee for Gold Bar if you were curious
Keeping it as one story seems to be the more desired method. I'd go with that.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
Tough choice with splitting the story. I, personally, like the idea of splitting up long stories. It's more organized, let's the reader take a breath, provides the opportunity to change the flow of the story and increases the chance of someone stumbling into your work. The question, though, is it the right time for the break? You've already covered several arcs without one, so it would feel rather unnecessary barring a good reason. Is there going to be a major time lapse in the story or does the scholar arc end with a major event? Unless this arc ends distinctly differently than the previous ones, I would stay the course. Save the story break for a more appropriate conclusion.
That all said, still loving the story so far, keep up the good work!
And lo, a small white and pink filly had snuck into the chamber, witnessing the raising of the sun. With a flash of inspiration, realization, and luminescence, little Celly realized her destiny.
As far as the multi-book thing goes, don't do it. Just do what some of the other more popular and long stories do... Acts! (If you feel the need to signify it rather than just let it continue to grow in number of chapters) Just go through and relabel each chapter as 'Act #: Chapter (# or Title).' Doing this allows you to signify a large break in the story/plot while keeping to the same book.
Another great chapter, but I'm still getting over the loss of belle. Wish she didn't have to die so young.
Keep 'me coming!
This is all up to you as a writer, both have their merits. But i have a feeling that authors who splits the story have a bit more staying power. It is nice to have something COMPLETE under your belt and carry on to new things.
Wait... its been one year already? Dang... now I feel old. This was one of the first books I read when I joined the fandom. SO YEAH! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
(also, idk if you split the arks or not, just keep up the amazing work)
I say do not split.
Split it. 160,000 words is a good length for a story. It's about the same size as a single Lord of the Rings book, or one of the mid-size Harry Potters. Something of a manageable size to pickup.
If you do all three major arcs in one story you'll wind up around 480,000 (assuming similar length) and that is a rather intimidating tome to pick up even if it is only electrons.
In my experience stories that go for the arc method never properly close an arc. They don't do a proper epilogue/prologue between the two and it has turned many longer stories into long rambling tales where the events blur together and maybe there's an ending somewhere someday...
Please don't put "Book one" in the title. It just makes it long and awkward. Explain the series in the first (or last) paragraph of the long description.
I'd rather you not split just because I don't want to have to bookmark another couple stories
Well, it's a two-sided coin. If you split, you would inevitably lose some of the readers (due to fact that they could miss sequel). If there's a pause between release of last chapter of first story and first chapter of new story, then risk multiplies. Also, if some reader would accidentally stumble upon the sequel, there's a chance they would just skip reading it instead of finding the first story. There's many examples when first story got 1000+ likes, 98% like/dislike ratio, but sequel with just with 60 likes and 75% like/dislike ratio.
On other hand, some readers are intimidated by sheer size of three-in-one story. Also, it would set perspective straight: three stories with logical beginnings and ends would look neater than one story that goes and goes and goes.
P.S. If there's more than 4 parts, I would recommend to do it in one story. Series navigation isn't FiMFiction's strong side.
I say split it, by doing so you make the story more addicting in my eyes
Whatever is the easiest for you.
Belle
Moar. That is all.
I would personally feel that breaking it up would make the whole read a bit easier to navigate, but as the others have said the choice is yours. Weigh the pros and cons of each, and I'll be more than happy with whatever works for you. Enjoyed the read thus far!
I NEED MORE!
Keep the story in one whole, splitting the story will destroy it.
Either way, I will certainly stick with this story. Start a new one if there is going to be a major change in the way the story is presented. If it is just getting time skipped and some new characters, keep it here. See DOAMM and the Austreoh series for examples.
Neat, but most of what everyone is saying is true. Time skip after time skip will destroy the story. I'd like to see when Atlas gets into the actual cannon story, mainly when the tribes unite and/or when Celestia and Luna come into the picture. But other than my tiny qualms I love the story so far and hope for a update very soon.
I'm kinda fine with either way, but regardless of which you choose, we need a brief return to the "present" point in the timeline, with the big 6 and the Princesses.
If you were to end book one like that, it would "bookend" things quite nicely, especially if you pick up again in the "present" on book two, then jump back to the pust-scholar arc there.
However, if you choose to just continue with this book, the spot of "present events" could serve as a sort of interlude between arcs.
just realised this was released on my birthday last year.
that makes me happy asf.
Due to Belle's death and the way she acts I'm sensing a PinkiexAtlas ship when we get back to where the Prologue is
Due to Belle's death and the way she acted I'm sensing a PinkiexAtlas ship when we get back to where the Prologue is
I'd say keep the story in one piece instead of splitting it up. Also keep up the good work, I love this story.
YOU DISHONOR YOUR FAMIRYYYYYYY!
. . .
Lewd.
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