Scholar Arc
Still Day 16, evening
Atlas awoke with a start. A bucket of water had been dumped unceremoniously on him. He struggled to move and get on his hooves, but found himself tied to a pole. He tried to calm himself as he took a look around.
He seemed to be in some sort of large room; on the side opposite to him some hay was stacked, and various farming tools could be seen lying around. Going by the items scattered around him, he concluded he was in a barn somewhere.
Next he noticed his friends. All three of them were in a similar situation to him. Bound to poles and sopping wet.
“Where are we?” Crimson shouted, presumably at the pony who just doused them in water.
The green stallion continued on with his business, disregarding Crimson’s inquiry as he left through the barns front doors.
“What the fuck is going on?” Atlas asked confused and still a bit dizzy.
A pounding headache raged in his head. It felt like there were a thousand angry ponies in his head trying to find a seat but there was only one chair.
“I’m not sure…” Crimson said, still visibly fuming about the situation.
Crimson’s wings’ were bound to his side, making it impossible for him to make any major movements.
Belle was just quietly sitting, looking scared, her eyes darting from shadow to shadow within the barn. She obviously had no idea what was going on either, so he turned his attention towards Amethyst.
The purple stallion looked just as confused as the rest of them, shooting a scared look towards Atlas. Now that he got a better look at him, he noticed some sort of ring resting on Amethyst’s head. Atlas furrowed his brows as he strained to look upwards to check if he had one too. Sure enough he could just barely see the metal ring resting on his horn.
“Yo Amethyst, do you have any idea what’s going on?” Atlas asked him. “Do you maybe have some enemies in the academy or something?”
Amethyst tried to remember. “I don’t know.” He said. “I mean I could have some, but if I do, they haven't tried anything before. What about you guys?”
“Enemies?” Amethyst nodded. “I’m not sure… Well maybe there is… one…” Atlas’s eyes shot wide open.
They did have an enemy who would do something like this. Everything had just been so peaceful these past few weeks all of them had forgotten about him.
“Dusty…” Atlas muttered under his breath.
Even though he had said it quietly, all of his friends heard him say it. Crimson seemed to realize it too, and got even angrier. Belle’s eyes also widened in realization and a few tears rolled down her cheek.
“Who’s Dusty?” Amethyst asked.
As if to answer his question, the barn door flew open and an orange earth pony with a white mane entered. He was followed by four of his goons, who approached before sitting down in front of Atlas and his friends, so they could see him.
“Speak of the devil.” Atlas muttered.
His four henchponies each took up a position next to one of their new prisoners, all while not saying anything. Dusty just sat there for a while, a friendly smile adorning his face. If one didn’t know better they would assume he was just another elderly stallion.
Dusty was taking in the scene in front of him. Belle was looking at him, despair and sadness evident in her eyes. Crimson was shooting him hateful glares while struggling against his constraints. Amethyst Blade was just looking at him with a bewildered expression, and Atlas had a resigned look on his face.
Dusty took a deep breath, as if he was enjoying the tension in the air before addressing them.
“So nice to see all of you again.” Dusty said in a friendly voice. “I’ve missed all of you, and you didn’t even take the time to say goodbye to me the last time we saw each other. It’s as if you don’t care about your old friend Dusty.”
His statement was met with silence as nopony gave him an answer.
“And Amethyst, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Really.” Dusty said. “I’m so sorry that you got caught up in all of this. I guess you were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time.” Dusty shrugged.
Amethyst was shooting an incredulous look at Atlas. “Would somepony care to fill me in?”
Atlas shot an apologetic look back at Amethyst. This was truly the worst case scenario. Because they were careless, their new friend got caught up in this whole mess.
“Ah, yes. Of course they haven’t told you about me.” Dusty said happily, approaching Amethyst. “You see, these guys and me, we have a bit of an unfortunate history.”
Dusty gestured towards Atlas’s group. Making an overly dramatic sad face.
“Did you know Charity Belle over here is the crown princess of High Rock?” Dusty asked.
Amethyst turned his head so fast that his neck cracked a bit. He shot an incredulous look towards Belle, who did her best to avoid his gaze.
“Oh yes, she truly is, you can believe me.” Dusty continued. “And to top it all off, Charity Belle isn’t even her real name!”
Dusty got up and trotted over towards Belle. He used his hoof to force her head over so she was looking towards Amethyst.
“It’s my pleasure to introduce you to Morning Sun.” Dusty said. “Crown princess of High Rock, and firstborn daughter of our glorious queen, Eventide.”
Belle started sobbing when Dusty introduced her, while Dusty started laughing. It was a happy laugh, one only an elderly stallion could pull off. Dusty went over towards Atlas, leaving Belle to her misery.
“And get this.” Dusty said, chuckles accompanying his words. “This guy! This guy thinks he is immortal!” He pointed towards Atlas who shot him an angry glare.
Dusty meanwhile started laughing as if he had heard the best joke ever. His goons awkwardly joined in, obviously just trying not to get on their boss’s bad side.
“Is that true?” Amethyst asked Atlas.
There had been unicorns aplenty who thought they had finally found the secret to immortality. All of them archmages, famous for their prowess in the school of life. Needless to say all of them failed in the end; hearing that his magically inept friend claimed the same thing confused him to say the least.
“Yes…” Atlas gritted through his teeth.
Atlas wanted to keep his immortality under wraps, since just mentioning it might label him as a madpony. But now, Dusty was just going around telling people like it was the punchline to a bad joke.
Dusty suddenly stopped laughing, pulling a knife from one of the hay bales close to him and putting it against Atlas’s neck.
“What do you say?” Dusty said, a mad glint in his eyes. “Should we give his immortality a test run?”
Atlas just glared daggers at Dusty. Dying hurt, but ultimately he’d just get up after a while, so it didn’t really matter if his throat was slit. He just didn’t want to give Dusty the satisfaction of killing him however temporary.
“NO!”
Two sets of voices answered his question. One belonged to Amethyst Blade, who didn’t believe in Atlas’s immortality.
Crimson was still trying to free himself, not paying to much attention to what Dusty was doing, so it couldn’t have been him.
The other was Belle. Her face was wet and her eyes red from all the crying. She desperately tried to free herself, struggling against the rope.
“Don’t hurt him!” She demanded of Dusty. “Don’t you dare!”
Dusty shot the pink mare a surprised look. He looked back and forth between Atlas and Belle before he seemed to realize something.
“Oh.” A smile started to spread on his face again. “Oh.” He repeated to himself, much more jubilantly this time.
“This is good.” He muttered, pulling away the knife from Atlas’s throat. “I can use this.” He mumbled to himself.
A look of relief washed across Amethyst’s face, as Dusty stepped away from Atlas and put the knife on a nearby table.
“Psst! Amethyst.” Atlas whispered just loud enough for him to hear. “Don’t you have any spells to get us out of here?”
“I already tried, but these rings on our horns seem to mess with our ability to channel magic somehow.” Amethyst retorted with an annoyed look on his face.
“You guys do realize we’re standing right next to you, right?” The hench pony behind Atlas said.
Amethyst and Atlas froze. They had paid so much attention to what Dusty was doing, that they both had completely forgotten about his friends.
“Hey boss!” The henchpony said. “They seem to have some questions about them rings on their horns.”
Dusty turned around looking disinterested.
“Yes, yes. Magic inhibitor rings, aren’t they just a whole bunch of fun?” He said in a neutral voice. “Created by unicorn deserters no less.”
A look of betrayal flashed across Amethyst’s face. This was extremely bad news for the Kingdom's military, so he had all the more reason to escape this situation. This information had to reach the higher ups. Amethyst began to frantically think about a way to escape.
“Say, Belle my dearest, why don’t we make a deal?” Dusty asked suddenly, apparently having finished his previous train of thought.
“Never!” Belle shouted at him. “Why are you doing this? You were like a father to me!”
Belle was still crying, but she was also afraid and angry. A torrent of emotions raged within her, thousand of questions floated around in her head, right next to the burning desire to punch Dusty as hard as she could.
“Oh I assure you, you were like a daughter to me too once.” Dusty said. “But, in the end this was never what I really wanted.”
“What… what do you mean?” Belle asked incredulously.
“I am an agent of her highness, but due to a mistake I made, I was placed in the slums as a spy.” Dusty explained to her. “My job was to control the slums from the shadows, and quell any uprisings at the root.”
Dusty started walking back and forth in front of them, looking at the ground.
“I did it for so long that I almost forgot who I was!” He shouted angrily. “Until he came along!”
Dusty pointed towards Atlas, to everypony's surprise.
“You carelessly revealed yourself to Atlas, and in turn, gave me a chance back into her highness’s graces.” Dusty resumed his pacing. “All I have to do, is bring the queen your head and I’ll regain my old post. It’s really that simple.”
“Of course I still had feelings for you, we lived and laughed together for over ten years after all. I even gave you a whole day for a head start as a parting gift.” He continued to explain. “One of my more foolhardy mistakes, if I do say so myself. It made tracking you all down just that much harder.”
Dusty spat on the ground in annoyance before he came to a stop in front of Belle.
“Listen up.” Dusty said, maintaining eye contact with Belle. “I know you. Your feelings are like an open book to me.”
Belle furrowed her eyes, wondering what Dusty was going for.
“It’s obvious that you have some feelings towards the black idiot over there.” Dusty waved a hoof in Atlas’s general direction.
Atlas’s heart skipped a beat at the revelation. Belle had grown on him quite a bit ever since they had met, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have any feelings for her. But to think that she might feel the same way was exciting to him, regardless of the situation.
Belle looked like a foal who got caught with her hoof in the cookie jar, confirming Dusty’s words and causing him to grin. She slowly turned her head to look at Atlas who was just staring at her with a slightly opened mouth expression, she looked away as soon as she saw his expression.
“So here’s the deal.” Dusty said, enjoying every moment of the situation. “I technically only need to kill you, dearest Belle, and everything should be hunky dory on my side. But carrying a head around for a long time can be disgusting, and they might not even believe that it’s yours.”
Belle stared at Dusty, afraid of where he was going with this.
“I had planned to just take you back with me to make things easier, but I’m sure you’d give me all kinds of trouble on the way you know?” Dusty elaborated. “So what do you say? You come with me quietly, and I let the dork over there stay alive?”
Belle’s train of thought derailed. Even Crimson who’d been trying to free himself up until now, gave his efforts a momentary rest to gawk at Dusty in disbelief. Silence fell over the gathering, as his captive audience processed the offer that was just made.
Belle was the first to break from her stupor, turning her head to look at Atlas again. Instead of looking baffled, this time he was violently shaking his head, telling her not to take the deal. Belle let her gaze wander over Amethyst and Crimson as well, until her eyes met back up with Dusty’s.
“Will you spare the other two as well?” Belle asked, much to the disbelief of everyone present.
“I’m sure that could be arranged.” Dusty said, sure of his victory at this point.
“Then I’ll…” Belle started to say.
“Don’t you dare take this deal!” Atlas shouted suddenly. “You know damn well that nothing’s going to happen to me! Don’t do this Belle!”
Amethyst turned his head in disbelief. Their captor just offered them a way out of this. Sure Belle would be taken away, but the other three would get to live on, and Atlas just told her not to take the deal. He couldn’t believe what was happening, no matter how delusioned Atlas was with his supposed immortality, this was going too far.
“But what about Crimson and Amethyst?” Belle said while starting to tear up again. “Aren’t their lives important too?”
‘You go girl!’ Amethyst thought, at least she was still rational in this situation.
Atlas looked towards his other friends, he had momentarily forgotten about them and felt like shit for it. All he could think about was that he himself would be fine, even if Dusty offed him. He didn’t even think about the fact that his friends would most definitely die if they were to be killed.
“I couldn’t stand knowing that all of you had to die because of me.” Belle said, her tears flowing freely now. “Please… let me just do this. If I can save you three by giving up my life, there’s no reason to not do it.”
Atlas was starting to tear up to now. Back in the cave where he resolved himself to accept his new life, he swore to protect his friends however he could, even if it meant temporarily dying for them. In his case it wouldn’t be much, since he’d just pop back up again a day or so later. In Belle’s case, she was about to make the ultimate sacrifice to save them.
“In my time as a homeless pony I have learned that every life matters! We shared everything with each other and no one is worth more than everyone else! And if I can give something of mine to help others survive I’d do it in a heartbeat. Even… even if it is my life!” Belle steeled her resolve as she cried out her feelings. “Please just accept this as my final parting gift.” Belle said before breaking down into a mess of sobs.
“No…” Atlas whispered.
This couldn’t be happening. Atlas had worked so hard to get where he was, endured so many hardships on his way here. He had even saved Belle from certain death, and a life of poverty. Now, Dusty was about to void all of Atlas’s efforts by taking away Belle.
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” Dusty interjected, untouched by the emotional moment. “Untie her.”
The hench pony next to Belle cut through the ropes binding her, making her fall forward. She didn’t make any effort to get up or move away from her current position, content with just laying there while sobs rocked her body.
Atlas’s thoughts raced at the speed of light, trying to come up with any solution to get out of this together. Why would Belle just throw away her life like this? He knew that Belle liked to share and was generally a very generous pony, it was what he loved about her after all. But going so far as to make her very existence a gift to be given, that was going too far.
Sharing was important, he had learned that from when he almost starved back in High Rock. Even Atlas started to concentrate less on his earthly possessions after that, as he started caring more about the wellbeing of the group. Of course he would continue to do so when Belle eventually had to die, he had learned it from her after all!
Atlas’s eyes flashed a bright pink for a second and a wave of energy washed over him. His body felt tingly after it passed, but at this very moment he couldn’t care less about what just happened to him.
“Take her outside.” Dusty commanded.
“Dusty you bastard!” Atlas shouted. “Don’t you dare take her away!”
“Atlas…” Crimson weak voice could be heard. “I don’t think there’s any point in resisting any more. I already tried everything to get out of my restraints, and this way at least we three get to live.”
Atlas shot Crimson an incredulous look.
“Listen to your friend Alex, or Atlas or whatever you call yourself nowadays.” Dusty said while his hench pony picked up Belle and threw her over his back. “Me and her have a deal.”
“Shut the fuck up Dusty!” Atlas was starting to lose it. “I will hunt you down for this! I won’t rest before I stare into your lifeless eyes after I’ve killed you!”
Amethyst started to feel strange, for some reason the concentration of magical energy was starting to rise in the barn. He looked around trying to find an explanation for the weird phenomenon but came up empty.
“Yes, yes. You’re a very dangerous one, but face the facts. You don’t stand a chance against me, much less the concentrated forces of High Rock.” Dusty scoffed. “I would like to off you right now, but I’m a stallion of my word and will honor the deal I’ve made with dear Belle over there.”
Atlas couldn’t stand being taunted like this and started to fight his restraints. His head still couldn’t come up with any coherent plans, so he started just violently thrashing around and trying to fling around as much magic as he could. Due to the ring on his forehead none of his attempts at flinging around raw magic worked, which made him even angrier.
Amethyst looked towards Atlas, now seriously worried about his friend. The magical concentration was continuing to rise to the point where it physically affected Amethyst, and he could now pinpoint Atlas to be the source of it. He seemed to absorb a lot more mana than necessary and due to the ring he couldn’t release any of it. If nothing was done Atlas might have a surge, and Amethyst really didn’t want to see what happened to a surging unicorn with an magic inhibitor ring on his horn.
“Umm… Atlas? It may be a good idea to stop now.” Amethyst said in a worried tone of voice. “You might seriously hurt yourself if you keep this up!”
“Your friend is right. Rope burn can sting really bad you know?” Dusty added with a chuckle. “Keep them here for about two days and throw them out after, wouldn’t want them to follow us.”
“Yes, sir!” The remaining three stallions answered him with a salute.
“Well then, we’ll be going now, have fun!”
Dusty turned around to leave, his hench pony with Belle on his back close behind him.
Atlas’s rage was starting to reach a tipping point. The gods had taken away so much from him, and now that he finally started to live a semi-normal life again, Dusty had come back and was about to take that away from him too.
He started thrashing around even more violently than before, trying desperately to escape his confines. In his desperate attempts to free himself he remembered his lessons with Blazing Inferno over the last three days. According to Dusty the ring only blocked channeling through the horn!
Even though Atlas still hadn’t mastered the stamina boost spell, he was able to move around the mana within his body, just not in the correct way. So instead of thrashing his real body around, he started focusing on moving around the mana within himself. At first he was almost overwhelmed by the vast amounts of mana present within himself, but he did it anyway. There was no rhyme or reason to what he did, he just started moving it around in random patterns until hopefully something happened.
‘Looks like your little girlfriend is in trouble’ Someone said. ‘Hmm… we have made some progress. Alright, looks like I’ll be able to help you out for a bit.’
Atlas didn’t pay much attention to whoever was talking, redoubling his efforts at making something happen.
Amethyst was worried about what was happening to his friend, the mana flow around them was getting worse by the second. Atlas stopped thrashing around a few seconds ago, which for some reason made everything even worse. Sweat was collecting on Amethyst’s brow as he tried to think of some way to get Atlas to stop. Talking obviously didn’t work, so there had to be something else he could do.
“Hey you over there!” He shouted at the henchpony next to Atlas. “Stop looking at him like this is a joke! You need to knock him out or something bad could happen!”
It was cruel, but right now this was the only chance they had at stopping Atlas from doing something stupid. The smile on the earth ponies face vanished when he heard how scared Amethyst sounded, and he decided to follow his advice, moving in to knock Atlas out before it was too late.
A loud crack resounded through the barn, causing everypony within it to stop whatever they were doing. The hench pony stopped in it’s tracks, a look of dread on his face, his eyes focused on Atlas’s horn.
Dusty, who was about to step outside turned around to see what the commotion was about. The scene caused a confused look on his face.
“What’s going on?” Dusty threw the question into the room, waiting for anybody to pick it up.
A second, even louder crack could be heard, providing an answer to Dusty’s question. The ring on Atlas’s horn had broken, and was currently falling to the ground in two pieces.
Amethyst’s eyes widened as he watched his friend literally grow bigger. Atlas’s eyes were glowing a pure white as his mane started to flow in the magical energies wafting around him. The ropes binding him couldn’t take the stress and snapped, the hench pony who stood next to Atlas was slapped across the face by it and got knocked out cold.
Everypony stared on in disbelief as Atlas finished his transformation, now standing a good head taller than all of them. Belle who was still lying on the henchponies back raised her head to see what was going on, not able to believe what she saw.
Atlas stood there, violent winds thrashing about him. His eyes were glowing a bright white, and even though she couldn’t see his pupils, she knew they were fixated on Dusty. His mane had grown longer and became more ethereal. It still kept it’s white color, but looked more like the surface of the moon, since craters could be seen like they were looking through a telescope.
“We can talk about this? Right?” Dusty suddenly. “Come on Atlas, it was just a prank!”
Sweat started to collect on Dusty’s forehead. He was proud to say that there were only three times in his long life where he was scared, but looking at Atlas as he was now almost made him wet himself. Even though he was an earth pony he could actually feel the energy wash off Atlas in waves.
Atlas just stared at him, not honoring the orange stallion with an answer. Small red and green orbs of pure mana started to form around Atlas’s body, flowing towards the point of his horn and creating an ever bigger orb.
Amethyst watched on in awe, as Atlas concentrated more and more mana into a single point. He had never seen somepony use this much mana in a single spell before, and that both frightened and amazed him. As far as he knew, a spell like this could wipe them out along with dusty, making all of Belle’s efforts of keeping them alive all for naught.
He watched on as more and more mana flew towards the ball at Atlas’s horn. To his surprise after a few moments, pink orbs started to appear alongside the red and green orbs. Amethyst’s eye twitched as Atlas defied all common sense and added mana from a third affinity to his spell.
“We need to get outta here.” Dusty said panicked. “Now!”
In this moment Atlas was finished preparing his spell, the orb of mana floating before him was almost as big as his head and swirled with colors. In a bright flash, the orb compressed itself until it was the size of an eye and changed colors to a solid purple.
Dusty could be seen running through the door, followed by his henchman. Belle was unceremoniously dropped in favor of gaining speed, and was lying next to the entrance, staring on in disbelief.
A loud bang resounded and the ball vanished from sight. A violent wind signaled its high speed departure. Dusty was hit by the ball and his body was brutally jerked along with it. The high speed impact killed him immediately, but for some reason he was carried along instead of the ball shooting clean through him.
His four henchponies were thrown to the side by the gust of wind following Atlas’s spell, lying motionless where they landed. Dusty was carried along until they could barely see him on the horizon, until a blinding explosion of light obscured their vision.
A huge tremor could be felt, rocking the whole barn. The poles holding Crimson and Amethyst were shaken enough to break, which allowed them to finally free themselves. Shortly after, massive amounts of dust and dirt was blown into the barn, causing the occupants to cough. The sediment in the air was thick enough that they lost their ability to see further than two feet in front of them.
“Is everyone ok?” Crimson asked after the chaos started to settle.
“I’m ok!” Belle called out from somewhere. “Just a bit shaken up.”
“By Tartarus, what was that?” Amethyst asked amazed and scared. “That was way too powerful.”
“Talk about overkill.” Crimson said, trying to find Amethyst by locating his voice.
“That wasn’t just overkill…” Amethyst had a small coughing fit at that point. “That Dusty guy was obliterated!”
Crimson was walking in Amethyst’s direction, and just as he was able to make out a dark form in front of him, he bumped into him.
“Sorry.” Crimson said while trying to keep his balance. “Can you do something about all this dust?”
“That shouldn’t be a problem.” Amethyst said. “Although you’ll have to remove this thrice cursed ring from my horn first.”
“Sure, hold still.”
Crimson went to work immediately, trying to leverage the inhibitor ring off Amethyst’s head.
“Atlas?” Belle’s weak voice could be heard. “Atlas, can you hear me?”
No answer came to her, none of them really knew what happened to Atlas, but it didn’t exactly look healthy.
“Do you have any idea what happened to him?” Crimson asked Amethyst.
“I think he had a surge.” Amethyst answered. “But I’ve never seen somepony surge like this. Unicorns usually don’t get… bigger during a surge. Also there was way too much magic involved.”
Crimson finally managed to pull the ring off Amethyst and let it fall without a second thought. It clattered to the floor and came to a rest next to a piece of rope.
“Thanks.” Amethyst said.
Amidst the dust Crimson could see Amethyst’s horn flare up a purple color. Out of nowhere a wind started to blow within the barn, circulating dust and dirt towards the exit and outwards. After about half a minute the barn was cleared of all the debris.
Almost everything that wasn’t properly secured fell to the ground after the explosion, but more importantly Atlas didn’t move an inch from where they last saw him. His eyes were still glowing and his mane and size were still changed from the usual Atlas they knew.
He was just standing there, staring in the direction Dusty just flew off as if he was waiting to see if he somehow survived.
Belle gingerly approached Atlas from the opposite side of the room. Her fur was still wet from all the crying she did, but right now she didn’t feel like crying. Something changed Atlas and it scared her. Instead of the gentle and funny Atlas, there stood an intimidating force of nature.
She waved her hoof in front of his glowing eyes, but no matter what she tried, he just continued standing there motionless. She put her hoof on his leg and looked sadly up at him. His new size intimidated her quite a bit, it was as if somepony just replaced the Atlas she came to love.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek.
“Atlas, please… you’re scaring me…”
This time Atlas reacted to her words. His head turned slowly towards her until their eyes met. Belle stared into the bright white abyss that was Atlas’s eyes and it stared back at her.
“Please come back to us…” Belle tried again.
Atlas’s head tilted a bit to the side, as if he seemed to consider the situation. They held the eyecontact for a couple of seconds more, before Atlas blinked once and started to shrink. His eyes lost their glow as he returned to his normal size and his mane reverted back to it’s natural state.
When he was back to normal Atlas blinked a few times in rapid succession to recalibrate his sight. Before he could get his bearings back though, Belle tackled him to the ground, wrapping him in a hug. The waterworks were turned into full on sprinklers coating Atlas in her tears, this time due to happiness.
“What… what happened?” Atlas asked confusedly.
He looked around the barn taking in it’s state of disarray, and the huge cloud of dust and dirt on the outside. His eyes landed on Crimson and Amethyst who were standing closeby, freed from their bindings.
Atlas furrowed his brows. The last thing he could remember was that Dusty was about to take away Belle. Now, Dusty was nowhere to be seen and his friends were freed.
“You don’t remember?” Amethyst asked him cautiously.
Crimson and Amethyst moved closer to the pony pile before them.
“Not really…” Atlas said, looking down at the crying Belle. “What’s going on?”
“You surged.” Amethyst said. “Rather spectacularly I might add.”
Atlas’s face fell. One of the first things he learned at the academy was that surging was really bad for adult unicorns. The fact that he lost control like that meant he still had a long way to go.
“What do you mean ‘spectacularly’?” Atlas asked. “And where’s Dusty and his goonies?”
Atlas looked around in the barn but could find neither hide nor hare of the earth ponies who were present before his surge.
“It’s probably safe to say that Dusty’s dead.” Crimson interjected into the conversation. “You blew him up with some really flashy spell.”
Atlas was growing more confused by the second.
“I did?” He looked around again. “But shouldn’t there maybe be a crater or something? Or at least blood?”
Crimson didn’t answer, instead he just pointed his hoof towards the exit. Atlas eyes followed it until he looked outside where the dust was still settling.
“Oh.” Atlas said.
“Oh indeed.” Amethyst shot back. “Let me tell you, that was the most insane spell you threw at that earth pony. I bet there’s a huge crater out there. Considering that we’re in a barn, we’re probably on the outskirts, so the only casualty was Dusty I guess… Aside from the produce that was growing outside.”
Atlas heart sunk towards his stomach. What the hell did he do when he surged?
“I’ve never seen a surge like yours by the way.” Amethyst continued. “You grew huge and your hair got all flowey.”
“What about the eyes?” Crimson asked.
“The glowing eyes are normal for a surge. It happens when a unicorn is channeling large amounts of mana, so it can even happen outside of surges.” Amethyst replied.
“Wait, what do you mean I grew? Isn’t that like impossible?” Atlas asked.
“Yeah you grew to be about a head bigger than you are now. Probably some magic side effect or something.” Crimson answered him.
“Don’t ever do that again!” Belle said between sobs. “I was so scared!”
“Belle I…” Atlas tried to get a word in.
“I was so scared you turned into some kind of monster!” Belle cut him off immediately. “I thought I had lost you! Just after you saved me too!”
“Belle…”
“It was so hard for me to make the decision to go with Dusty! But it was the only way to save you guys, so I had to!”
Belle’s feelings were just gushing out of her as she was hugging Atlas like her life depended on it.
“But my biggest regret would have been that I was never able to tell you how I felt about you! I love you Atlas! I loved you for a long time now, so please never do something like this again!”
Belle devolved into a sobbing mess when she finally laid all her feelings out into the open. A turmoil of different emotions raged within her but in the end she was just happy that all of them were still alive and unhurt.
Atlas just laid there motionless, mouth slightly agape again. He looked towards Crimson and Amethyst for help, but they didn’t make any moves to help him, making it his own problem. He remembered that Dusty said something along the lines of Belle being in love with him, but at the time he thought it might just be a tactic to get to her.
Now that he heard it from her own mouth, there was no doubt about it any longer. Belle was in love with him. Atlas had some feelings for Belle to, as they were slowly but steadily growing ever since he and Crimson accepted her into their group.
Somewhere around when he realized that Belle would be taken away from him for ever, he also realized that he was in love too. He had to do something, anything to keep her at his side. Apparently his feelings were even strong enough to make him surge.
Atlas let his mind settle, until only one clear thought remained. He wrapped his hooves around the shaking Belle until he held her securely against his chest. His head came to a rest atop her head and he closed his eyes.
“I love you too, Belle.”
Thanks for the code! I have a friend who plays it, but was never able to purchase it.
Y'know, as I was reading the whole transformy bit, I was listening to this.
It really took away from the suspense.
DAMN, Atlas! You's a gangsta, dude!
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3931_small.jpg
7516835 so did your friend redeem it?
7516840 this sounds pretty appropriate :P
7516846 Alex didn't choose the god life, the god life chose him.
You know, I think his mind would start to break if someone pointed out that Atlas did not have a scar on him from the rather brutal stab wound from earlier. However, he'd probably just logic it away-surely Atlas found a healer to capable or removing scars, or something along those lines.
However, I think he wouldn't take Atlas being a true immortal that well if he did stab him in the neck and Atlas got back up after a while.
Huh.
I wonder... is he mentioning all of this to try and demonize himself so that she won't feel as much betrayal? That is, he doesn't want to kill her, but his loyalty to the crown-bought through whatever means-is greater than his friendship, and he feels he has no choice here, but is making himself feel better by outright lying and distancing himself from her.
Either that or he's an asshat. That's a step below asshole, because at least assholes have some type of practical use.
Ah, there it is. II was wondering when this would happen. I'm guessing Atlas' sheer rage just caused s titan soul just merged with his, just a little bit, allowing him to tap into the might of a titan's soul, if only a fragment of it. Possible consequences of this include enhanced strength, endurance, magical power, and increased risk of a Grand Theft Me, alongside speeding up your eventual showdown/execution courtesy of the Olympians.
Interesting interpretation, but one I find unlikely. If those inhibitor rings work at all, he shouldn't be able to absorb or work with mana at all, and I think Amethyst hasn't thought of that. The key thing here is that Atlas seems to be generating the mana himself, which should be alarming if an individual uses their inner mana to manipulate mana in the environment.
Unless I'm getting this settings magic mixed up with others, which is entirely possible.
Oh eat a dick, Dusty. I was holding out some reservations about you, but...
Just die already. It's going to happen, and frankly you were doomed from the start. Oh, and I hope Death or whoever you encounter in this setting-Hades perhaps-informs you of how fucked you were from the beginning.
I don't like him. Part of that is that I don't think he's been written all that well. He's just a villain for the sake of being a villain-you tried to make him a bit more three dimensional, but I can virtually gurantee he's going to fade from my memory within the next ten chapters of this story. He's just not memorable.
And that's a lazy cliche.
Seriously, while certain cliches exist, because, despite everything else, they're damn good, this one has been so overdone in movies, video games, literature, comics, and bloody fanfiction that I am sick and almost gag at seeing this anymore . It's also fucking unrealistic. While I'm not one to cry very much, it's never one damn tear, and it's usually from both eyes. It would have been much better if you described her more realistically, like for instance, tears streaming down her face, sniffling, unable to speak very well, and so on. Why be like this? Because true crying is never graceful. I've seen my mother, my dad, siblings, even a few friends cry over real tragic things, and it's never this graceful.
My dad in particular...the day his brother died was the first time I had ever seen him cry or since, and it was not graceful or "one single tear".
So, yeah. Cliches like this...avoid them. Avoid them like they're a modified form of the plague that exclusively targets one's genitals.
Now, as for Belle's confession of love and Atlas's response...
Honestly? It needs work. Nothing is particularly wrong, but on a grand scheme of love confessions I've read in fanfiction alone, this honestly doesn't even crack the top one hundred. If I open it up to literature, movies, comics, video games, and more, it just gets worse. Again, nothing is particularly wrong, but I think that's the problem itself-nothing is exceptional, and so it just comes across as a development, nothing more.
7516896 woah that's a long ass comment :D
The first one I want to comment on would be the inhibitor ring/magical concentration dilemma. I believe it was stated within the chapter that the rings only prevent channeling through the horn. Magic can still be absorbed and used through control channeling, as Atlas demonstrated. As for how Atlas absorbed such large amounts of mana, the world is actually pretty fucking saturated with it, the only limitation to using it is depending on how much an entity can absorb and store. Atlas soul definitely helped with that. Amethyst being physically affected by it stems from unicorns being kind of sensitive to magic. Just imagine it like standing close to a fire. You can feel the warmth just from being close to it, and if you make the fire bigger and hotter, at some point you might want to step back.
As for how well written/memorable Dusty is... he was never meant to be a major player in this story. I think he has been in like three or four chapters, which isn't really enough screen time to flesh a character out to be honest. I tried my best to make him as interesting as possible, but at the end of the day he was just an means to an end. While his defeat may seem like an end to the 'Belle is actually a princess' sub plot(and it kinda is), it will still come to play later on.
I'm so sorry I don't have any particular experience with writing... mushy moments, so it's just kinda touch and go for me. Which means I'll sometimes have to rely on clichès.
Same goes for the confession really. I tried my best and I'll try to do it even better next time(?).
Thanks for pointing out all that stuff :D
7516896 You can cry a single tear I've done it before, but I was trying not to cry unlike belle...
7516858 Yeah, thanks again!
I think it would've been funnier and/or better cinematically fi he was had "died" from the explosion or magical backlash and amethyst freaked out while everyone else was like "let's wait a bit"
SHUT UP FOOLS!
There is no Overkill! Only 'Open Fire' and 'Time to Reload'!
7517221 lol, that would have definitely been funny :P Ambros and I have extensively discussed ways for Atlas to abuse his immortality for seemingly inane things... Like: Don't wanna go to a meeting? *Slit throat*
7517245 My reference senses are tingling, but I do not have a good reception...
7517257 https://store.schlockmercenary.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=P-R37
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schlock_Mercenary
Quote/Maxim number 37.
When the story is frikkin amazing but you just patiently waiting til the mane 6 get involved
I bet later on the Atlas 6 are going to go adventuring, and one day Atlas falls off a cliff or some shit
And the others are like meh, this happens everyday
Ha! He's going to keep on living after she dies and rots!
7517257
If only it was canon that his old body remained and he just popped back into existence.
*leaves trail of dead Atlases across campus*
Although, it could be therapeutic for his friends to kill him every now and again... Hmmm...
If he pisses Belle off enough she could go all Medic on him and practice her "preventative medicine"
"yes, let's get this over with, I'll be fine in a day or two. It depends on how badly you fuck up my body." Atlas says nonchalantly.
well that was a stupid decision. I would keep her on my back and used her as a shield, sure that probably wouldn't of worked put at least it would stopped there being a clear shot.
Also I have a question for the author. Why are you forcing romance into this story? if as you say yourself, you're not particularly well versed at writing it.
It really doesn't seem to fit in at all with this story. And it feels to me more like a
'and then they fell in love because he's the main character and she's the female lead, and they'll love each other forever and ever and ever.'
Ah yiss. Romantic feels make me feel fuzzy.
I didn't expect Belle to be in love with the guy. I thought it was a crush that was working it's way to love.
Ah well. You will get better with romance with practice.
Moar, you goof, Moar! Loving the story. Keep up the good work.
Hurr durr now he has three affinities durrr.
When will he and/or his instructors and/or somepony else find out about this third affinity?
Atlas mode was when the god soul gained control. It did not recognize Belle.
*Looks at chapter title*
claribelortegaauthorblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/134841974593.gif?w=393&h=295
Wait. Wait a minute, since when MC and Belle are in love? Either I completely forgot content of previous chapters, or I'm that oblivious to hints.
Gee, the pot calling the kettle black.
Six magic schools, gotta collect 'em all. (Kinda ironic that Vibrant Color represents Life, but one who actually learns it represents Manipulation school. But that is life *Ba Dum Tss*.)
Thanks for the chapter!
7517670 It probably is there as a plot device to make character development, remember that no matter what happens from this point on Belle will die. In the best case senario she will die of old age but never the less she will leave Atlas behind which will leave him with the pain of her passing which he will then have to overcome. In all honesty I expected romance to come in at some pont since that is the best way to really nail in the fact that he will outlive a wast mayority of the population (by a landslide) of this world and all stories about imortality should have romance in it at some point since this also is a part of life.
Well that is my opinion anyway I wish you well and hope you have a good day .
7517523 I can't see Belle doing this, but Atlas would be the absolute best guinea pig for poisons. Body is completely normal, it just heals itself AFTER he dies.
Moar!!!! Must. Have. Moooooooar!!! Till then, Ima go listen to blinded by blood- ulver!
7517810 Figured this out 5 chaps ago!!
Well here goes my hopes of seeing Vibrant Colors again. I wander if what Atlas' Magic was part of the artificial physics of his prison or was it part of hi Titan Powers that are actually emerging. I would like to know if the magic of that world is purely artificial that it is just part of a program of his prison, that the Olympian Gods can just cancel at a whim or is this magic follow the same principles as the god uses and can't just cut magic flow just like that. That was my fist concern when I learns that Atlas was in a pocket dimension prison which i imagine specifically design to contain a fully realized Titan, because if it is the case all the magic (as he will currently know it) that Atlas might learn in the course of his life would be useless in the end.
I would suspect the local military will be there very quickly, one does not ignore a massive magic surge and explosion
it's a shame he's immortal so that love will die for him... Oh well
Very nice. Also, no, the development with Belle wasn't unexpected. Though, I thought that you might just make it a one-sided crush instead of full on romance since the romance tag isn't used. But either way, it was done well. I'm looking forward to more. :D
7517886 yea you probably right. Although I believe there are better was to drive a plot than a
'this character is in love with this character so he has to do this!'
It just doesn't feel like character development at all, to me it only ends up feeling cheap and lazy.
7518399 I have edited chapter 2 ^^ The authors note was just put there because readers don't tend to revisit old chapter, and the info is kind of important.
7518843 Since posting I've been beginning to think that I might have rushed it a bit. In hindsight I should probably have Atlas not respond to her feelings just yet, and make him do it later. But I was tired and this made for such a good chapter ending point :( Well, I've made my bed, now I'm going to sleep in it.
7518843 Romance tag isn't there because this story isn't about romance. I feel like the amount of romance this story has/will have, doesn't warrant the inclusion of the tag.
Lots to love in this chapter.
Now chant with me! SHIP! SHIP! SHIP! SHIP! SHIP! SHIP!
'Atlas Mode'? I thought 'Demigod Mode' would be more accurate. From what was described in the chapter channeling manna into his body brought on this change, so I'm assuming he became part earth pony. That would make him an incomplete Alicorn('God mode')?
Amethyst final knows about Atlas's immortality! Thought I guess he has to take it at face value. Atlas can't constantly kill himself to prove it, seeing how it hurts a lot and his friends don't like it very much.
7517221
Fitting and gets over the prove it type of thing that he may have to do with Amethyst. Though that line would seem out of character for Bell and Crimson. They did after all only see him come back to life once and that was a cut to the neck. Exploding bodies are a little different, also they don't know the limitations to his immortality and as a matter of fact neither do we.
Anyway keep up with this amazing story! I could barley wait for the next chapter!
7517065
He's not saying it's impossible, he's just saying the single tear thing is an overused cliche.
7517419
When you are so used to seeing your friend die that you don't even care anymore.
7517670
He may have said that he is not good at writing romance, but the only way one can get better is to attempt it.
7524357 while this is true, it doesn't mean that romance fits well in this story.
aaand I guess teh first story arc is done now that the first sub boss has been eliminated.
7519213 will you play Civ VI when it comes out?
Great story so far by the way. ^^
7525964 you'll be happy to know that the focus of this story won't shift towards their romance then. The main focus is still Atlas and what he's doing. Sure, it'll will change how they inereact with each other, but I won't start writing an entirely different story now. Note the lack of a romance tag ^^
7526060 haha, you wish we're not even close...
7526788 I won't
7526900
I suppose, you would need 8,000+ words to make it a proper first book in a series.
7526900 it isn't about romance being a focus or not.
I actually really like the romance genre, if its done well.
So far I've only liked it when not only was the actual romance was done well, but also the characters and their interactions with eachother had to be good and well detailed.
I have to know exactly why each character likes the other and I need to know their personality's so I can understand how they work as a couple.
Otherwise the romance ends up feeling forced in by the author.
Reading this fiction to this point was a task. The pacing was way to fast for my liking and made the story rather empty. Sure it had me at the prologue, but there was so much left out!
Simple little details of the characters thought pattern to the world itself was so simple that I could skim through an entire chapter and not miss any of the context. At times it also felt too forced in places concerning dialogue. The language was fast and unappealing to the point of being the definition of generic. The grammar is alright but there are some capitalizatios and spelling errors that are hard to miss.
The overall idea of the story is interesting in of itself but that's all that---In my opinion---Is working for it. To me... it felt like I was being left out of most of the good stuff, the flavour, the enthralling excitement! Was under-performing....
This had me for a while, but I have to let this one go. Good idea, but too fast without much substance.
7531815 I'm sad to see you leave. I won't lie, english isn't my first language and this is the first story I've ever written. I'm trying my best and I'm trying to improve as much as I can, but I understand that my story isn't that well written.
I'm still amazed that I even got this far and that it's this well received. In my head the story is a lot more amazing than what I've written down.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts, and thanks for even bothering to read this far
I MUST HAVE SOME MOREOOR CAUSE I HAVE NOOO LIFE
"Such way is me."
-TheEngie 2016
7532644 If you want ill edit this, i tend to have a sharp eye for grammar and spellings
:D this the innuendo?
7531815 same tho I'll stick don't really have another good story like this sooo ya
Let the fury of the titans fuel your
bladesmagic,KratosAtlas.Ah, there we go, that's why Inferno was pressing Atlas to see if he'd return to earth pony lands. It's already bad enough that High Rock being agrarian, means that their lack of need for food lessens their country's need for imbalanced trade but since they've covered the immediate necessities of the people, they can now pursue advancing in other directions while maintaining a tribalist stance with the other races.
The Crystal kingdom on the other hand, suffers from a strategy game playthrough of advancing too far in tech and civilization for advances in food production to catch up. They are currently the only race seen so far that must maintain open and friendly relations, to acquire a steady immigration flow to fill the stations needed for vital services, farming and the weather control to water the vast fields.
Atlas doesn't realize but due to his dual affinity being a rarity and his desire to enlist for education, he's already registered as a national asset. If he was to say he intended to return to the earth pony lands, there is the possibility that he'd be turned away immediately. Though, now knowing their are rogue unicorns, the possible risk of him falling into enemy hands would mean his immediate execution or imprisonment. Seeing as dual affinities are under research, he'd be reduced as research material, and possibly, breeding stock if they believe it hereditary. Though if he were to have been killed and revived before they disposed of his corpse, he'd definitely be turned over for research.
That fact the rings were designed to somehow block casting but simple enough to take ring form, means the unicorns gone rogue aren't the run of the mill mages but ones of advanced education, possibly from the upper echelons of society. May still even be in the kingdom itself, to hoard research and tech to exchange later.
I'm really liking this story.