This story has some pretty god potential but I think that judging by Chapter 1 you seem to fall into the telling not showing problem, it reads sort of dry and a bit boring in that the only real descriptions of things are in dialogue and Corvo's inner monologue/thoughts. Also I really don't see the point of making him anthro, I would say either go full pony like the Equestrians or keep him human, having him anthro in a fully pony world doesn't make sense to me (seems a bit of a cop out in that you didn't want to figure out the mechanics for his abilities as a pony but also wanted him to be like the Equestrians(I genuinely mean no offence these are just my thoughts on what things bugged me in the first chapter.))

All-in-all a decent story with a interesting premise, hopefully in later chapters it improves as you get practice but I have to bow out here, it's just not my cup of tea.

Great chapter pal. I never really saw any whales in the game but maybe I just didn't look hard enough or maybe I just forgot. Either way I am glad you went with telling the story of Dishonored 1 the way you played it.

6695558 I saw one in the void about midway through i think?

6711701 Oh yeah! I almost forgot about the void! Thanks pal.

6711813 No prob. kinda surprised that pinkie didn't grab some popcorn and 3D glasses though.

6718534 No kidding~

Damn your version of Corvo is awesome. Can't wait to read more.

CORVO I MISSED YOU YAY

I hope this story isn't dead. It was getting pretty good.

Is story kill?

6144082
more please

Great story too bad it's dead

I find this story to be of great interest so far. Are you planning on continuing it?

9159492
Bitch, on a bad day it's 3 and I didn't get to bed till we ran out of light on the rig.

Continue the dick swingin contest or nah?

Please continue this story, I am really beginning to enjoy it!