Let Go

by Briarpelt

The Final Chapter

A normal pony would have passed her by that afternoon. It wasn't all that strange to see a lone figure sitting on a hill, thinking, as Celestia's sun neared the horizon. For most ponies, this would be the perfect time to go for a walk, or settle down to a board game with friends as the last of the light faded, but there was often at least one pony who wanted to watch the sunset from a hilltop. Tonight, it was Silver Spirit, and she knew that this might be her last sunset ever.

She was sitting on a grassy knoll, facing the openness of the Equestrian countryside. Her hometown was about a mile behind her, as she'd wanted to be near it, but still alone this evening. She wasn't going to look back at it, because she wanted to leave her past life completely behind when she went. To her right was a forest, not close enough to be nearby or obstruct the Western horizon, but not far away enough to be in the distance, either. The sun was nearing the horizon, but it hadn't touched it yet. A few clouds drifted at the edges of the sky, just as Silver Spirit drifted at the edge of life.

She was old, very old. Her once-silvery coat had lost its luster, she was wrinkled and weak, and her mane and tail, once blue-grey, had long since faded to white. Her cutie mark, a dark grey two-armed spiral, had faded and become wrinkled, and her magic hardly worked at all anymore. Most of the time it looked as if it all belonged, as though she had never been young. The signs of her age had made her respected, given her the appearance of great wisdom and strength. She'd thought, hoped, that she possessed those things, but now she wasn't so sure. Not when she was so afraid to leave.

Silver had been holding on for a long time. She had always felt like there was reason to live longer, for friends, or family, or even the ponies in her hometown that relied on her for advice. But her family was gone, the few distant relatives she had lived elsewhere and didn't really know her. Her friends had all passed on before her, and she was getting lonely. Even then, she had stayed for the other townsfolk, but times were changing and ponies no longer looked to her for help and wisdom. They still cared, of course, but they didn't need her like they used to. That was okay. It was sad, but part of life. There comes a time for everyone when they are no longer needed. And when that time comes, it usually means it's time to go.

She could have been immortal, she was sure. She'd held on for so long that she felt she could stay as long as she wanted to, though not without struggling to stay alive every day. But her retirement funds were running out, and she was no longer needed. There was nothing left for her here. She knew that living would be pointless now, just a struggle for sentience and coherence while her body persisted. It was time to leave, and she knew it.

Silver had known when she'd woken up that morning. She'd felt it coming for days, a gradual weakening, a sense of finality. She'd been subconsciously dropping hints of goodbyes whenever she talked with anypony, and had spent as much time as she could with others. She'd talked to everypony she knew cared about her, just spending time with them. Silver hadn't told anyone that she thought she'd leave soon, just made sure that her last moments with them were something wonderful to be remembered. She knew that it was the worst thing in the world to have someone die on bad terms with you. She still felt somewhat responsible for Bright Shine's death, when the yellow- and- green pegasus had passed just after a disagreement with her, so she'd made sure that nopony was on bad terms with her. But she hadn't realized what she was doing until that morning.

She had woken up feeling weak, unstable. She usually held a sort of strength in her bones, her bright spirit shining through her fragile body. Today, that had been gone. It was the first time she'd ever felt bone-weary, both spiritually and bodily. She knew then that every day she held on would be a struggle, that her time had come. She could stay if she wanted to, but there was nothing left for her. So she'd spent the day setting her affairs in order, then having the best time she could before walking out to the hill to be alone in her final moments.

Of course, now that she was here, Silver was having some doubts. Her final choice weighed heavily on her shoulders, and the prospect of "never again" was hard to bear. She was lonely, more so than ever before in her life. She was scared of what might be ahead, and terrified of the change she would experience in leaving everything behind. She'd spent a lifetime here, built a life for herself and changed the lives of many others. Now it was at an end, and everything she thought she knew might be about to change. As the sun crept closer to the horizon, she let out a whispered cry.

"Oh, Celestia, help me!" The first words since she'd set out for the hill escaped her lips. Her gravelly, ancient voice cracked as she let out her plea. "Help me let go. Please, please..." Her words trailed off. She would have been crying by now, but tears had never come easily to her eyes. It was both a gift and a curse, that she could rarely cry when she wanted to. Instead, she contented herself with begging the cooling summer air for help from the Sun Goddess. I can't do it on my own. I came here to be alone, yet I find myself begging for company, for just one pony to help me. The one pony that has been constant in my life, Celestia.

Suddenly, and yet not startlingly, there was a rush of wind behind her, the kind caused by the flapping of great wings. "I am here, my little pony. I am here for each pony like you, at their end, completely alone." The Sun Princess landed next to Silver, before laying down next to her. "Mind if I join you? I heard there's going to be a beautiful sunset tonight." Silver Spirit nodded silently, looking to the West. The sun had drawn even closer to the horizon, and the sky was turning orange around it. Celestia draped a wing over her back, saying nothing. She knew that she must let Silver speak first, if anything would be said.

"Thank you." Silver spoke after a long silence. Her words were small, childlike, and yet held the wisdom and experience of ages past. "I can't let go on my own, I can't bring myself to do it. Please help me, Princess." The words were simple, but carried the weight of a terrible struggle.

"Just Celestia is fine now, Silver Spirit. I come to you now as a friend, to send you off on your final journey. But that is all I can do, be here for you and with you in your last moments. I can see you off, no more. Neither can I promise anything about the other side, for I rule the day and know nothing of the night." Celestia spoke gently, but her voice revealed sadness and finality. Silver had to let go of life on her own, but she did not have to be alone at her last.

"One last sunset." The reply came quietly, sad but decisive. "I want to see my last sunset, and then I will stop trying to live. It is almost over." She sounded more relaxed now, more courageous. "I am tired. Soon, I can have my rest." She sighed quietly and leaned into Celestia's side. The warm alicorn hugged her tighter with her wing, stretching her neck around Silver's briefly as well. There was little she could do for those in their last hours, but she would always help them as much as she could.

They sat there together in silence for a while, waiting. Finally, the time came for the day to end. Celestia took a deep breath. "It's time," she said softly. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Silver Spirit shifted a little, to see the horizon as best she could. She, too, took a deep breath before nodding to her companion. "Thank you again, Celestia. I am ready." The solar princess lit her horn, looking to her celestial object. The sun slowly began to sink, touching the horizon at long last. They watched together, sides pressing into one another and sharing warmth, the silence radiating though them and speaking the things they had no words for. The fear was still there, but it was quieted and comforted by their companionship. Though Silver had never met Celestia face-to-face before, they felt like close friends, their souls intertwining in Silver's hour of need. Very, very slowly, the sun lowered behind the edge of the world, as the colors of the sky changed to brilliant oranges and yellows, then some pink, purple, and finally a touch of green as it disappeared.

Finally, the last of the light faded from the sky. "Thank you, for all you've done," Silver murmured. "I have had a good life."

"Thank you, for making such a difference to other ponies' lives," Celestia replied. "Equestria would not be the same without you." Silver nodded, her eyes finally filling with tears- of gratitude, joy, relief, sorrow, and a hundred other bittersweet emotions.

"Then, goodbye." She took a deep breath, and... let go. Her eyes became unfocused as she stopped trying to live, and her heart slowed. Her breathing began to falter, and she leaned even more into Celestia's side as she stopped trying to support her own weight. Celestia did her best to comfort her, humming and singing lullabies. Finally, at about 2:00 in the morning, the breathing stopped. There was no heartbeat, and the body went cold. Silver was gone.

"Goodbye, my friend." Celestia whispered to the wind. She looked up to the stars, and whispered a prayer for her spirit. She used her magic to dig a grave in the top of the hill, and laid the body in it. She would carry the news of Silver's death to the townsfolk in the morning. Celestia covered up the hole, and laid a stone at the head of the grave. Lastly, she gently carved the image of Silver's cutie mark into the smooth stone, the two-armed spiral. She quietly sang a few verses of a song she'd once heard to send off Silver's spirit that she thought was fitting:

"This looks familiar, vaguely familiar,
Almost unreal yet, it's too soon to feel yet
Close to my soul and yet so far away
I'm going to go back there someday.

Sun rises, night falls, sometimes the sky calls.
Is that a song there, and do I belong there?
I've never been there, but I know the way
I'm going to go back there someday.

Come and go with me, it's more fun to share
We'll both be completely at home in midair
We're flying, not walking, on featherless wings
We can hold on to love, like invisible strings.

There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay
I'm going to go back there someday.
I'm going to go back there someday."

Celestia sighed and settled down on the hill again, next to the grave. She would sit a vigil for the rest of the night, an old tradition of hers and Luna's. The next day, she might organize a formal funeral, but she had a feeling that this was the kind of burial that Silver would have liked. She might plant a tree at the head of the grave, next to the stone. But now, tonight, she would watch and pray.

---

Silver Spirit found herself in an undefined space. It was dark yet light, there but not there. It was real, that much she knew. Soon, her non-surroundings resolved themselves into a starry space. She stood on nothing, but there was a pathway ahead of her, seemingly made out of more stars. She took a few steps forward before the realization hit her. I'm young again! She had no wrinkles or creaky joints, her mane and tail had been restored to their original color and luster, her coat once again shone, and her cutie mark was distinct on her flank.

She sighed deeply in relief. It was over, she had passed out of life. That bittersweet sadness hit her again, knowing that she could never go back now. Everything she had known was gone.

"Not everything." The voice surprised her, and she jumped. She hadn't noticed anypony else there, and had assumed she was alone. "Remember, a wise one once said, 'All you can take with you is that which you've given away.' You have given much in your life, and so will keep many things from your life with you as you make this final journey." Silver looked at the path, where a bright light was gathering. The light flashed brightly once, and when it faded, Princess Luna was standing in its place. "Come, Silver Spirit. It's time to go home."

The two ponies walked off along the path towards whatever lay beyond; one as old as the stars, and the other in the prime of her life. Both were good friends, walking a familiar path to where one would leave the other behind. But it would not be long before they saw each other again, for time passes differently in that strange, starry space.

Just as Celestia is there at the end of every day, Luna is there to begin every night. All you have to do is let go.

Author's Note:

Here's the song I used (you may have to turn your volume up because it's kind of quiet):

Comments

[silvadel]

What of those who call out to Luna at the end of days rather than Celestia?

[Briarpelt]

5707026 I think of it like this: if it's during the literal day, it's Celestia's duty, but once the moon shines, Luna is there. I would say that those who would call to Luna would probably wait to leave until she had assumed her reign anyway, so that the last thing they'd see was her night sky instead of a sunset. I staged the story at sunset because that's always been a nostalgic time for me, as well as the fact that I wanted the setting to be a story-long metaphor. But I do understand your concerns; it took me a while to even get to the point where I can think of Celestia as something other than a blind, short-sighted hothead who basks in the glory that she did not earn. I try now to see them both as true equals; both wise and powerful, just different. Both of them ethereal goddesses, who touch different parts of each pony's soul. I tried to put that in there as best I could, but apparently I haven't done it quite as well as I'd hoped.

[silvadel]

5707217

Of course now, calling out at twilight risks having a third pony show up...

And oddly enough, for the reasons you noted, a pony whose tenure was those twilight hours would probably get almost as many as in the pure night or day.

[Briarpelt]

5707234 I don't know if our beloved main character is quite there yet... Besides, isn't she the "Princess of Magical Rainbow Lazer Death Beams in the Name of Harmony"?

But yeah, twilight is a wonderful time. That in-between, when everything fades and is half-real... If I can choose when my time comes, that might be when I'd go.

[silvadel]

5707258

Actually presently she is the princess of hoofshakes at functions, but regardless her time is her name. Ponies are named thus. If she were to take over a time, twilight court would be it.

Personally, I would be more likely to call Luna. There is something about the night.

[Briarpelt]

5707274 Yeah, I can see what you mean.

[silvadel]

5707292

Actually there is one other time that with all the snow we are unlikely to see this year.

I like the stillness of the 60-70 degree early march day where the leaves are not yet on the trees, and the bugs are still asleep, but the warmth is there.

[Briarpelt]

5707304 I don't think I've ever seen that. The way the seasons change in the two places where I've lived is different, but I've seen something similar in autumn. The leaves will all be down, and everything will be silent, but the sunlight emanates a golden warmth in spite of the cool breeze. Is that sort of what you mean?

[silvadel]

5707405

Late autumn is different. The key here for the spring day is that everything from the plants to the animals are still sleeping.

[Briarpelt]

5708295 Okay. I'll have to pay attention to see if it happens when spring finally rolls around here.

[PegaSeraph]

[Starlight Nova]

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

[Briarpelt]

5708794 I'll look at that, thanks.

[Follow Focus]

That was a nice story :D I really liked the aspect of duality you presented in the story, splitting it between life and death, young and old, day and night etc. One note that I have is that the conversation with Celestia didn't feel right to me at some parts, instead I wish it had been focused more on the moment shared between the two as well as any reflections Silver might have about life. But overall the story is very neatly written :D

[Briarpelt]

5866560 Thanks!

I'm not going to edit the story, but I'll keep that in mind when I write others.

[Briarpelt]

5866560 I went back on my word and edited it more. I didn't cut dialogue, but I did add more of the moment between them. Hopefully it's better now!