Mail Order Changeling

by odeeyou

the pet

“Gah! I feel so bloated…” Changeling 09101112 wobbled into the clearing of the forest. They didn’t have a hive yet but they did have some shelters and buildings set up. “I feel like I’ve put on 15 pounds.”

Defacto Changeling leader 8675309 looked over at his sibling. “You don’t look like you’ve gained 15 pounds… You have gained 15 pounds!”

Yes. 09101112 was… fat. With a large protruding belly. If you ignored that all Changeling drones were male (and that they didn’t reproduce that way) he could almost be mistaken as pregnant.

8675309 winced as he realized what happened. They had no hive, meaning that they had no reserve to hold excess magic. Some of the Changelings were collecting an abundance of food with no way of expending the excess. With their current numbers there was no shortage of food.

He gave a mental shout to several changelings that have yet to find work. They quickly surrounded the bloated changeling and began siphoning off the excess magic until he no longer looked like a balloon.

The explanation of Changeling transformations were accurate, though lacking a more detailed and extensive explanation.

1408 had said to Twilight that more powerful Changelings (with perhaps greater physical reserves) could physically change their appearance. Otherwise it was primarily illusory.

Thing is, even physical transformations were still illusions. They could look and feel like any number of beings but they were still changelings. They were still insectoids. They had all the same organs they always had. They just looked different.

Not like the transfiguration spells of the Unicorns.

Ponies called the illusion ‘Hard Light.’

Light was electromagnetic radiation. Energy made up of photons and are largely mass-less. They could be moved about but could not bind together to make solid constructs.

Magic, however was a different kind of energy. Magic CAN form solid constructs and also gave off its own light. Force fields for example.

This was one thing Changelings agreed with the ponies about. Magic made no sense and ran contrary to all know natural laws.

But nopony cares about that.

Changelings didn’t have the grasp of magic that ponies did. So instead they used their own inner magic to create a quasi-solid field of energy that mimicked a physical form. Assuming they had the magic to power it.

Back when the Changeling race first encountered the ponies… this had been a problem. Creating an energy field was one thing. Using one to mimic all the individual hairs on a fur covered body well enough to fool physical touch was another.

Changelings have since had a LOT of practice, but for a hive that constantly and carefully rationed its food, it was never efficient. This was why more common illusions and less risky infiltration procedures were utilized.

Not a problem for the Queens. Mind control and what not.

Assuming the changeling in question had the experience, he would allow physical transformations (deeper illusions) on a case by case basis. It would depend on what emotion they were receiving and how much they were receiving otherwise they might burn up their own energy faster than they received it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Changeling 3.14159265359 sat in front of his new employer with an open hanging jaw. His new job needed a little more reasoning if he was expected to do this. “What?”

“I want you to take the form of a dog, as a gift to my daughter.”

“O-kay… But why?”

Filthy Rich rubbed his hooves together. “I have several contributing factors really. Contracting a Changeling saves me the trouble of buying a dog, paying for obedience training, veterinary bills… You live off of love so I save on dog food. You are nearly self-sufficient! I get someone to watch over my darling little filly and in return you feed off the love my Diamond Tiara has for you.”

Changeling 3.14159265359 opened his mouth to protest but only sighed in resignation. “Okay, fine. It’s not the most degrading thing I’ve ever done.”

“Great! You start today!”

“A few issues though!” He waved a holey leg at his boss before he could continue. “I can take the appearance of a dog, but it would be illusion only. I can mimic fur, but if I’m to have any physical contact with your daughter, if it’s to be convincing I’m going to need to be a very BIG dog and need a LOT of love.”

Filthy rubbed his jaw in thought. “I guess we could just call you a very rare breed. Diamond Tiara would love that and I doubt she would know better. Okay. Let’s see what you got.”

Said Changeling paused and thought about the larger canines that he’d seen before. One flash of green flames later and-

“A Saint Bernard?” Filthy Rich shook his head. “Too… mangy. Can you do a dog that’s sleeker? Like a Wolf Hound?”

Another flash of green flames-

Filthy shook his head again. “You’re too gruff in appearance. Can you make the fur white? Maybe add some Collie to soften the features?”

Again with a flash of green flames-

“And female.” Filthy added. “She was adamant about that.”

Changeling 3.14159265359 snorted in amusement while considering his appearance. In jest he added some red fire like lines into the fur with the change into a female appearance.

“That’s good!” Filthy walked around ‘her’ with appreciative looks. “I love the red markings.”

She huffed a laugh. “Yeah, this isn’t going to work. I’m way too recognizable.”

“Why?” Filthy paused and looked her over again. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a dog like this before… It shouldn’t be recognizable…”

“Then you haven’t done your research.” She rolled her eyes at him. “I look like Amaterasu.”

“Who?”

“Seriously? She’s only the Eastern Diamond Dog’s goddess of the sun!” She bit back sarcastically and fought the urge to insult him. Calling your boss an uncultured philistine was not a good way to keep your job.

Now Filthy Rich looked both interested and affronted. “Princess Celestia is Goddess of the Sun!”

She rolled her eyes again. “There are some who would argue they are the same being.”

“Daddy! You got me a dog! You got me a dog! You got me a dog!” A pink filly with a bi-colored purple and white mane ran excited circles around them before pausing to look UP at her dog. “You got me a BIG dog.”

“Yes well…” Filthy Rich coughed into his hoof. “It’s a very rare and expensive breed. Only the best for my little princess.”

Diamond Tiara squealed in joy and gave her father a quick hug before returning to fuss over her new dog. “She’s so pretty! Much prettier than Applebloom’s stupid dog.”

Changeling 3.14159265359 had doubts that this was going to work.

“I’m going to call you Princess Periwinkle!”

“Oh come on!” Princess Periwinkle face pawed.

Diamond Tiara looked up at her dog in surprise. “Did you just talk?”

“I don’t know.” Filthy Rich stepped up beside her and gave the dog a look. “Did she just talk?”

Periwinkle opened her mouth to say something but closed it again due to the look she received from her boss. “Bark?” She tried. “Woof.”

“There, you see?” Filthy Rich gave his daughter a comforting pat on the head. “Doggies don’t talk.” He paused. “Except for Diamond Dogs.”

Diamond Tiara continued to state up at her dog since she could have sworn the dog said the words ‘bark’ and ‘woof’ instead of actually making said noises dogs usually did.

“Playful yip?” Periwinkle tried again. “Bark- please love on your new doggy –woof.”

Diamond stated up at her new dog with loving awe. “Best. Dog. Ever.”

Comments

[remnants]

“Playful yip?” Periwinkle tried again. “Bark- please love on your new doggy –woof.”

Gaspode, is that you?

(context for those who don't get it)

[ErekLich]

This is fing hillarious! I want moar!

Just want to say though : [pedantry] Add refers to the mathematical operation of summing numbers. "Ad", on the other hand, is short for "advertisment" and is what you should have in the description. [/pedantry]

[silvadel]

Oh my.

[Lord Erhswin Wholewheat]

Defacto Changeling leader 8675309

I assume this was on purpose.

[Regreme]

Really WTF. XDDD

[Kind of Brony]

Pretty funny; some of these chapters I wish were a little longer though. So much potential.

On a side note, this made me think of another story I may write one day. An AU where, upon sharing her invasion plan with the hive, Chrysalis is dethroned for her stupidity. Afterward, with the queen gone, the hive must decide on what to do next. They eventually come to the conclusion that their old way of espionage is no longer good enough for the modern era and choose instead the bold path of revealing themselves.
The events of your story may be one way this hypothetical story could go.

[ArchAngelGundam]

Perhaps you should add the random tag.

[Headlock1_0]

5796148 I REALLY like that idea! I've seen a few good changeling integration fics, but I haven't seen one with that angle. If you ever do write that, let me know!

[Zilverfoss]

5796111
Not an OC I recognise, sorry

[Razzy]

Nuuu, this needs to continue!

Cya
Raziel-chan

[Teraunce]

this was funny.

[KvAT]

Someone please Edo Tensei this damn thing because I'm freaking hungry for MOAR!

[D-F]

10819357
^^^^
i second this