The Lost Wonderbolts

by FireFlash13231

Sequel Is Here

The sequel is called My Adventures With Rainbow Dash, and it is here! Enjoy!

Comments

[FireFlash13231]

887088 that's the feedback I've gotten. Too fast pacing, a bit too much power to FireFlash, and a few times character construction.

First fic though, so whacha gonna do

[Flame Runner]

887114

Yep, for a first fanfic it's not bad. The more you write the better you get. So I hope to see you grow as you continue to write.

[FireFlash13231]

894640 yeah, that's what everypony tells me. And i did get better feedback on MAWRD. a bit better pacing, better character personalities, better grammar, but still not perfect.

[FireFlash13231]

984137 yes, I probably did. Thanks for noticing. I might have meant left, though, let me check.

Edit: it was left, and fixed.

[insightguy]

I just read this and i'll be completely honest:
7.5/10

IMO, I felt the story didn't have enough descriptions to it. not much background on your OC and and there was some REALLY fast shipping......

All you simply have to do is the following:
1.expand: make the scenes much more descriptive and make the story flow smother.
2.plot fix: I like the story, but i felt there could be an improvement in the story line.
3.(optional) length: no offence, but some readers like it better if you had a "target word count" this means that you have to make the chapter at least this minimum no of words. sometimes makes the writer expand the story or even add more details.(recommended target:min of 1500 words)

[FireFlash13231]

1004011 that's the type of feedback I've gotten. The story as a whole goes too fast, and I don't describe my OC personality, history, anything. I may do a rewrite eventually, but for now I have a bunch of other stuff to do.

[FireFlash13231]

1009140 wow, thanks. glad you liked it.

and yeah, the lightning bolt gets to me.

[Hash1996]

I really liked this story, my only criticism would be that it was super short when it could've possibly been dragged out and made longer apart from that, awesome story, sequel time

[FireFlash13231]

3030844 I know it's short, and, to be honest, iI hate it. If you want to read something of mine that's actually good, Duct Tape Is Magic is far, far beteer.

[Hash1996]

3038702

how can you say you hate it?! I mean it's short yea but i really liked it and maybe if thats what bugs you about it, you could try like...elongating?

[FireFlash13231]

3039117 My wording was horrible, it doesn't flow, it's way too short, the list goes on. If I decide to rewrite it, I'll letcha know.

[Hash1996]

3040568

I think you're being a bit critical on yourself but if/when you choose to edit it, I'll be the first to read it

[Cyclogenocide]

TL;DR