How silly of me. I almost forgot to introduce myself. The name's Fireflash. Haven't heard of me? I'm not as well known as Soarin, Spitfire, or even Thunderstrike, although you may not have heard of him either.
"Well, I suppose the first thing I should try to do is find out who wanted me here and why." I thought. "I know that Soarin and Spitfire disappeared because somepony wanted me gone, either so I would be unable to train Rainbow, and postpone the exam, or just because I was the original target. And I know that one of the ponies that captured me and threw me in this...cave had to be a unicorn because the exit had been sealed with magic. I'll figure out who and why exactly later, because I need to get out of here somehow."
I could dig my way out, but that could take days. I can't stay in here and wait, because I don't know when somepony will notice I'm missing. They would probably just assume that I'm looking for Spitfire and Soarin, two of my teammates. I guess I'll look around this cave for a bit.
After looking around for a few minutes, I found a dark tunnel in the back of the cave. After about five more minutes of looking around, I decided that that was the only opening in the cave. Since it won't do me any good to try to dig out, call for help, or just wait, I guess that I'll explore that dark, creepy tunnel in the back of the cave for now. Maybe there's another exit somewhere in this place.....
They would probably assume that I'm looking for Spitfire and Soarin, my two best friends
In chapter one you said rainbow was fireflashes best friend, would you clear that up for me please? and suddenly saying: "I know that Soarin and Spitfire disappeared because somepony, (not necessarily either of them) wanted me to be unable to train Rainbow, and postpone the exam." perhaps it could be implied but saying you know it to be fact can take some enjoyment away for those who dident know, or guess for that matter, try and leave some mystery and imply at the same time. you happen to refer to spitfire and soarin alot by there names, which normally is vary good but once established that there missing you can avoid over using there names by simply saying "my missing team mates" or another variant for that matter, lastly i dont see this is as problem persay but to me (as my personal opinion... wait a sec this is all my opinion... ops) it seems you (fireflash) is more worried about explaining whats happening to others and whats going on around her then what she's thinking about and feeling, but a plain picture instead of drawing the reader into the world of the story in which your wrighting.
my nit picking aside its still a good attempt and has alot of penitential to be a fantastic story. keep it up and if you will allow it, ill keep being a critic
P.S dont take my comments the wrong way, im just tryin ta help
631022 oh god im coming back to edit this chapter...the typos and grammar and plotline are killing me over and over I brained my damage reading this again