• Member Since 14th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen February 16th

Krazy Stargazer


My body maybe on Earth but my heart is among the stars

E

In spite of Twilight Sparkle recently receiving wings with her "Ascension" she remains apprehensive at best about her new appendages and refuses to fly. Luckily one Rainbow-maned Pegasus has a lot (and i mean A LOT) of experience flying. She knows she can get Twilight to fly if she just show her how amazing it can be...and spending time with her favorite egghead wouldn't hurt either.


I'll be highly surprised if no one's done this before but here's my take on it.

PS:Thanks to Twidashforever for helping me out on the story :ajsmug:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Pretty nice, but a couple of errors with spelling:

It's Pegasi (Plural) and Pegasus (Singular), not Pegusi. Other than that and a couple of grammatical errors, this is pretty alright!

Luckily one Rainbow mained Pegusus

Don't you mean maned and Pegasus?

Yet, even those who didn't out right ostracize her, couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear. What did this mean for Equestria? At first Princess Celestia was the first, and only Alicorn most Equestrian's knew their entire lives. Only the extremely scholarly were even aware of the fact there was an Alicorn of the night once. Then all of a sudden it's reviled, like in some cheesy plot twist, that turns out Princess Celestia had a sister!

revealed

However, the fact the new Alicorn was the Princess of the Sun's sister helped quell any disputes, well that and the fact nopony wanted to incur the wrath of Nightmare Moon. Then there was the revel of Princess Cadence, yet even that was excusable. For she was still of royal blood. But Twilight Sparkle? A unicorn with no drop of Alicorn or Royal blood becoming an Alicorn?

reveal

Yet, here she was. Glancing her mirror she hardly recognized her own reflection! What stared back wasn't the Ponyville Librarian or Celestia's student. No, what glared back was a stranger, a stranger some ponies hated, a stranger some ponies feared. Worse of all Twilight was one of them. A voice snapped her back to reality.

Yet, here she was. Glancing at her mirror she hardly recognized her own reflection!


Those were just a few of the errors I found. Perhaps have an editor go over it to spot all the errors? It would help your story immensely

8577548
Ahh thanks. I tried to use the app Grammarly to make up for some of my more....egregious errors, butits eems some still slip through the rug.

8578050
Don't rely on an app for that. Get an editor

8578200
Valid point. But my schedule is rather tight lately and doesn't always link up with editors.

8578567
Oh ok. I guess that's understandable

There were some spelling and syntax issues, but it didn't get in the way of a very nice story.well done :pinkiehappy:

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