All I want is to be remembered. Not for what I've done, but because I tried to be better.
When you've lived for thousands of years, most everypony considers you immortal. Princess Celestia once thought she was as well, but it seems that the last few millennia have finally caught up with her. As she brings together her young friends, they all must try and come to terms with the unthinkable.
Inspired by this post on /r/mlpwritingprompts by /u/Wind-Walker.
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I'd hate to see Celestia go. My theory on immortality is that time doesn't effect your body but you can still die if you're body is to damaged to stay alive. Good story, by the way.
Curse you. I cried.
You get a standing ovation for this. And a follow.
Was there a reason to killed off Pinkie too? Did she died from eating too many cupcakes or something?
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Mostly because I felt something in the dynamic had to change between the main characters. It is set about 25-30 years after season 4, and ponies probably don't live too long, especially one as high-strung and high-risk as Pinkie who's always speeding along at 105%.
That, and I accidentally wrote "the remaining Elements", but after noticing I figured I'd roll with it.
Well played, good sir. Well played.
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Thanks MetaSkipper :)
This was amazing. I cried and I enjoyed reading it. I even briefly forgot all around me and couldn’t stop. Captivating if I ever knew it. Very good writing, in my opinion.
I have a few niggles, and I hope that you will take this as a compliment. If the worst issues I can find are little niggles, it means the overall work is outstanding.
* I feel you should include a brief line that explains Pinkie Pie’s death, even if it’s something simple like “it was an accident” or “natural causes”.
* I realize that you wanted to end the way you did because the end of Celestia is the end of the story. But as a reader, I felt a certain wrap-up was missing; the ponies are still gathered in the hall, and Luna has completed her spell. Who is next to say anything and what do they say? Perhaps the story would benefit if each pony made a solemn resolution to fulfill their assigned duty in honor and memory of Celestia.
* The singular is “millennium”. Both occurrences of “millennia” in your story should be “millennium”.
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Thank you very much for the kind words! I appreciate the niggles, constructive criticism is always good. I'll fix those "millennia" right away. As per the other two points:
* For Pinkie, I think at this point I'm not even sure what happened. Maybe it was an insane party accident, maybe a sugar overdose, I dunno. I felt it would be distracting to explain something that was already very well known to the characters, and wanted to let the readers fill in the blank themselves.
* This was a hard decision. If you ready very carefully, there's one or two minor sentences leftover from where I was going to subtly move the story to Twilight, and let her take over the focus of the narrative. It would have included what you're suggesting, and even now I feel it may have been a more compelling and emotional story. Unfortunately, I was writing seat-of-my-pants, and I couldn't quite make the transition work. For starters, it was far too raw and I was already torn up.
I ended up keeping the focus where it started, because while this is the beginning of a new chapter for Twilight, I was still writing the last chapter for Celestia, and didn't want to undercut that; the stage is too small. I suppose I could always integrate this into a new story with a bigger focus, but I feel that would cheapen the impact. This one-shot more or less wrote itself, and it feels kinda wrong to retconn it at this point. Besides, I have precious little time/energy, and I don't know if I have the dedication and inspiration to flesh out a 100k-word post-Celestia AU, which is probably only way to do it right.
Still, I don't want this to sound like I'm discrediting the input. You're right, it could be something more; I just don't know if I have that something.
I assume it's supposed be a sign that Pinkie is there, in spirit (or something like that), but with Discord there it hardly seems an out of place thing to happen.
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Supposed to be Discord, but I like the sentiment about Pinkie; hadn't thought of that.
That was pretty sad. But the story was well written.
Um...why did you kill off Pinkie?
Sorry. That sounds so blunt.
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Pretty much as I explained in a previous comment, it kinda just happened. I didn't plan for it. It may also have something to do with the fact that I think Pinkie will be very difficult for me to write. Most of the other characters are on an understandable level for me. Not quite so, with her.