Chapter 1: Twilight Sparkle. Applejack, and Spike
Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants
Chapter 1: Twilight Sparkle. Applejack, and Spike
-ooo-
Sunlight poured out from the perfect Ponyville day and into the council room of Twilight’s new castle, filling the room with welcome light. The two large windows of the room had been left open to let the gentle warmth of the day in. Twilight smiled contently to herself as she sat in her purplish-white stone chair and did something she very rarely did, voluntarily look up from a book without prompt.
Not that the book was dull. In fact, Twilight enjoyed every word from the old text that discussed ruling a kingdom at length. However, she had learned that time with your friends was also precious, especially when things such as massive, magic-eating tyrants could appear and take them away at a moment’s notice.
On that note, she decided to check up on one of her oldest and dearest friends, the dragon sitting next to her in a small stone chair of his own.
“The Power Ponies taking out the villains again, Spike?” Twilight asked cheerfully.
Spike looked up from his comic book with a smile. “You know it!”
Twilight smiled back and then looked across the center of the room to another chair. “How about you, A.J.? How’s your book?”
Applejack looked up from the paperback book that depicted ponies all wearing wide-brimmed cowboy hats, out in some sandy town. “A rivetin’ tale about ol’ timey desperados if ever there was one,” she replied with a grin.
Twilight nodded. “I’m surprised to see you here. Not that I mind of course, I just figured you’d be busy with farm work.”
Applejack smiled and shrugged with her shoulders. “Well it was rather light on the chores today, and shoot, Ah got a fancy chair. Might as well take advantage of it.”
Twilight gave her friend one more smile and looked back down at her own book. Thank Celestia it’s finally peace—
Suddenly, there was a melodic sound as if a balloon that was full of soothing harp music was suddenly popped. Shimmering, dark, rainbow smoke filled the center of the room as Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Spike suddenly looked up. The smoke began to dissipate and drift out the castle windows allowing the occupants of the room to see the new arrival.
The two ponies and the dragon stared at the being in front of them as their minds desperately tried to process it. Whatever it was, it looked vaguely pony-shaped, stood at Celestia’s height, had a shimmering mane that was every color of the rainbow, possessed a body as dark as the night itself, shimmering gossamer wings, a large curved unicorn horn, rainbow striped front legs, one backleg of a dragon, one purple striped leg, a rainbow colored dragons tail that ended in a bright white tuft, breezee antenna, breeze eyelashes, a bat-pony ear. Her left eye sparkled like crystal emeralds and her right sparkled like crystal rainbow gemstones that also changed color. Her face and flank sported matching sun-moon-magic cutie marks. Finally she wore the element of magic atop of her sparkling, rainbow-colored mane.
She opened her mouth and spoke with an echoing voice, like someone speaking from beyond time itself. “Greetings, my little ponies.”
As the being’s soothing voice reverberated in her ears, Applejack knew with sudden clarity what she must do. She turned towards one of the open windows and made a gallop for it. She then stuck her head out and promptly lost her lunch.
“BAARAARRAAPHRAGGRAAAAAPHHH…!”
“Applejack!” Twilight cried in alarm. “Are you alright?!”
Applejack looked up sheepishly from the window. “I’m sorry… cough… Twi… I jus’…” Applejack’s cheeks puffed out and she suddenly ducked her head down again. “BRRRRRAFFFRGHAAA…!” Applejack looked back up as she took a few deep breaths. “Huff… Puff… I just couldn’t help… it… I took one look at her and my stomach started churning…”
“I hear that,” Spike said.
“Spike!” Twilight snapped. “Don’t be rude to uh… visitors…”
“What?!” Spike protested. “I mean… there’s weird looking and then there’s this!” Spike said as he motioned to the majestic being which stood majestically in the center of the council room.
“Be not afraid,” the being of deep darkness and bright brightness said as it trotted up to Spike and placed radiant, rainbow colored forehoof on his shoulder. “Though I may look imposing, I bring you only glad tidings.”
“OH CELESTIA, IT TOUCHED ME!” Spike yelled as he quickly dove behind his chair. He peaked out frightful at the imposing, but also kind looking creature that towered over him.
“Ah motion we try to kill it!” Applejack said as she wiped a forearm over her muzzle.
“SECOND!” Spike screamed.
The being of infinite glowing and twinkling compassion smiled and nodded at Applejack. “Ah, the element of honesty. Your frankness is appreciated.”
“Oh! No!” Applejack cried. “It knows who we are!” She turned towards Twilight. “Please say we can kill it!” Applejack exclaimed.
“Hey!” Twilight cried. “She seems friendly… The least we can do is give… uh…her…?” Twilight looked up at the being who shimmered darkly in the sunlight.
The being that glittered deeply in the light of the sun nodded.
“… Her a chance,” Twilight said.
“I thank you Princess Twilight.” The really tall and also unfathomably pretty being said. “Allow me to introduce myself… I am the long hidden child of Princess Celestia and Discord—”
Twilight’s eyes shot open wide. “Princess Celestia and Discord had a child?! I can’t believe—”
“—Also Princess Luna,” the being continued.
Twilight narrowed her eyes slightly and frowned. “Yep. I can’t believe it.”
“… and Queen Chrysalis—”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Okay, even with magic that’s basically impossi—”
“—And King Sombra, the Queen of the Breezies, and the Zebra King.”
Applejack stared at the massive colorful being which was also as dark as the night with a blank expression. “That musta been one hellava orgy.”
Spike covered his mouth with a claw and puffed out his cheeks as he made a muffled gurgling sound.
“Applejack!” Twilight said in a chastising tone. “Not in front of Spike!”
With a pained swallowing, Spike slowly removed his claw and looked up at the massive dark and also bright and rainbow colored entity. “Wait, so no dragon?”
The being of immense physical, mental, and magic power took a few steps up to Spike and looked down at him. “I possess the heart of a dragon.”
Spike gulped. “Figuratively or literally?”
“Yes!”
Spike turned, made a mad dash for the unoccupied windows and promptly lost his own lunch out of it. “GLRAAARGHAAARGHAAAARGHGHAAACHCHC…!”
Twilight glanced at Spike in concern, then her eyes slowly drifted back to the being of great… uh… greatness. “Uh… I’m afraid to ask…” Twilight said. “But do you have a name?”
“Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants!” Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants informed. Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants smiled. “You may call me ‘P-CRaMPs’.”
Twilight and Applejack raised an eyebrow each and exchanged glances.
“Motion to call her ‘Magic Pants’?” Twilight said.
Applejack nodded. “Second.”
Twilight looked off into the corner where Spike continued to huddle. “Spike?”
“MaAaAaAaAaAaAaAake it go away!” Spike screamed from the window.
Twilight nodded. “The motion passes.”
Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants bowed slightly. “‘Magic Pants’ it is, your highness.”
“Alright so… why are you here, exactly?” Twilight said.
“I came, because I sensed you need my help in your new role as Princess of Friendship.”
Twilight blinked a few times and looked about her new throne room. “Na… noooo?”
“Equestria is full of strife!” Magic Pants continued. “The races distrust and war with each other!”
Twilight and Applejack looked at each other briefly and chuckled.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight began, “but you must be mistaken. After the defeat of Tirek, earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi are enjoying a welcome peace with one another.”
“Oh, but it is not just those three races I am talking about! I must bring all the races together!”
Twilight frowned. “Wait, by all do you mean…”
“Ponies! Gryphons! Changeling! Breezees! All must unify together in friendship.”
Twilight frowned. “Well… I mean aside from Changelings, all those races…” Twilight trailed off as she looked up at Magic Pants crown. “Is that… Is that the element of magic on your head?!”
Magic Pants nodded causing her already luxurious hair to ripple even more beautifully than it already was. “Yes, I too, possess the element of magic. I can also raise the sun and the moon.”
“That’s uh…” Twilight trailed off as she searched for the proper words.
“Completely OP?!” Spike suggested.
“Patently ridiculous!” Applejack chimed in.
Twilight frowned. “… It’s something alright…”
“Wait, you said gryphons,” Applejack said. “Are ya part gryphon, too?”
Magic Pants’s luscious dark lips opened wide exposing her radiant teeth. “I have the spleen of a gryphon!”
Spike proceeded to lose more of his lunch out the window. “BRARFRAGHAAAGHRAAAAGHAAAA…!”
“Right, sorry I asked,” Applejack said.
Magic Pants’s shimmering, sparkling eyes suddenly went wide, her right eye shifting colors rapidly. “I sense a disturbance in the balance of friendship!”
Twilight gave Magic Pants a sheepish look. “Aaaand that means… what… exactly?”
“I must meet with the other elements of harmony!”
“Okay, but why?” Twilight asked.
“Because there is a disturbance in the balance of friendship!”
“Okay, but you never—”
Magic Pants suddenly made a mad dash out the room. “Quickly make haste! There’s no time to spare!”
“What?!” Twilight cried. “Why?! What’s going to happen?!”
“HASTE!” Magic Pants cried back. Her voice echoing in the halls like a thousand melodic angel voices.
Twilight sighed and looked up pleadingly at Applejack who rolled her eyes and also sighed as she trotted away from the window. Twilight smiled then looked towards Spike. “Coming Spi—”
Spike inhaled as much air as his lungs could hold. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
622 users online
1,002,318 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh my God, this chapter had me dying.
...I hate you.
You are, hands down the best comedy writer on this site.
I'm not sure what to expect yet...
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Well, there goes my dinner.
MY WAIFU!
fimfiction-static.net/images/group_icons/205/a5f28f67cc69b68b267b.png
This was funny, and I'm enjoying the generous railing on bad OCs.
But it also brought to memory the fact that I could only read half a paragraph of "My Immortal"...
BRARFRAGHAAAGHRAAAAGHAAAGHGFUUUHGGHHH!!
Hollllly-
*Starts reading purely for that oc in the image*
5194413 'My Immortal' is different. That author isn't parodying bad OCs.
Best. Onomatopoeia. Ever.
Wouldn't that be "P-CRaMPs"? Since the "a" is borrowed from Rainbow?
5194413
At least this story doesn't parade on top of the splattered corpses of spelling and grammar. And everypony acknowledges how horrible the thing in front of them is.
5194010
It's funny because I know of an OC - an actual, serious OC (as far as I can tell) - that's a lot like this character in design and not that far off in general concept.
This is...FUCKING FANTASTIC!
5194514
5194562
I know. Like I said, I'm enjoying Justice's take on Bad Mary Sue OCs, and I know he's enjoying writing them and subsequently making fun of how atrocious they really are. I didn't mean to compare this to "My Immortal", because this is light-years better than that.
i dont even
*Giggles like a maniac*
5194695 I'm afraid I had misunderstood the meaning of remembering "My Immortal".
But now I'm waiting for P-CRaMPs's angsty backstory to rear its head.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/242/631/382.gif
5194562
Made the change! Thank you!
I... I do not know where to begin. Wait, wrong thought. *checks the cellar*
Ah, there we go. 'Ahem'.
I... I do not know with which beverage to begin! THUS I MUST COMBINE ABSINTHE WITH THE CHLOROFORM AND BAKE IT WITH THE WHISKEY! DOWN THE HATCH!
5195469 No hydrochloric acid? You should always get twice as much acid as you think you'll need, it runs out pretty fast.
Am I the only person who is reminded of "Mister Boney Pants Guy" from the fourth Borderlands 2 DLC due to her name?
I honestly cannot recall the last time I saw a picture of a pony — any pony — that make me physically ill.
Bonus points for "hyper-realism", I guess!
5195696
Speaking from my time working for a cleaning company, I have worked with hydrochloric acid before.
It's over-rated as a dissolvent.
Then again... Perhaps it's time to skip the low-rung mediocre goons of the acidic beverage world. To thoroughly enjoy this piece of fiction, we need to kick it up a notch.
BRING FORTH THE BOSS MONSTER OF ACIDIC DRINKS!
COCA-COLA! AND MAKE IT CLASSIC!
Served in a chilled glass placed upon a freezing silver platter handed over by the royal hoof-maidens of the Crystal Empire no less!
5195765
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4962-1337029243817.png
Oh dear Author. You had me at " BARRARRALPH"!
Wow.
(vomits)
5194766 It's cool!
And I, too, am waiting for the backstory of impossible angst!
5195717
nope.
Note to self: have at least four hours between a meal and reading the next chapter. Ouch, my stomach.
Next, we will learn Magic Pants has the Meckel Diverticulum of an orthros and Ahuizotl's Coccyx. Excuse me, gotta dash to the bathroom.
Funny idea, not much satire around, waiting for the next chapters, well done
One hell of an orgy indeed.
So earlier, when you said that the next chapter of "The Wheel and the Butterfly" was getting delayed because of "personal issues," what you meant is that your muse had been replaced by
the worst OC everprobably one of the top 20 worst OCs in the fandom.This is beautiful.
5197812
Well, it helped that I had most of what has already been published done before my issue crept up. Also, considering the genre and sub-genre of this, it's a little more acceptable to do mini-chapters.
So... you cursed her to be a mary sue... Umm.... Ever heard of Occam's Razor?
You made her so perfect she is now imperfect.
Nuff said.
Conclusion, Discord popped over o his buddy Shaogorath's for some cheese and told Shao all about Twilight spoiling his fun. So what else is a Daedric Prince to do but help out his old roommate, eh?
Magic Pants didn't ASK to be the way she is. She just wants to help. And she isn't declaring herself the supreme overlord of the world. And she hasn't engaged in one act of morality superiority, moral high ground, or brow beating (thus being better than a LOT of Mary Sues who just HAVE TO soap box about thing or 'fix' something or call out the mane cast about SOMETHING that got under the author's nerves). She's actually FUNNY! She's as innocent as a child.
5411799 ok. I just think this is hilarious.
(Eye twitch) this Makes less sense than discord. Also I'm blaming
for this "thing".
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20098708/images/1343635934755.gif
img.pandawhale.com/47778-wrestler-dis-gon-b-gud-gif-Img-O4EB.gif
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/tumblr_mwrcmcdphu1rpuofmo1_400.gif
Things are about to get silly...
5194413
gimme a link, now.
"And for a brief moment the reader saw through the veil and vowed never to see again."
*Cuts out his own eyes*
5194431 oh hai normal!
Ok I can tell from reading this that you are actually a good writer who knows how a good narrative is spun. I have to ask: how much did it hurt to write that horrific description of Magic Pantsuit's appearance? (Incorrectly autocorrected word kept in for the laughs)
7950340
I'm usually not a fan of writing character descriptions. This makes fanfiction writing a bit easier since I can often skip it with characters the reader is familiar with. Here, I have no doubt I was cackling madly as I was allowed to commit grammar crime by stringing together descriptions with tons of commas.
7950616
Oof
When fanfiction writers go off the rails and take off like a rocketship that dances into oblivion