Unspoken Affection

by sorakun555

The First Date

A gasp of breath and Caramel shot up in bed, eyes wide as the realization dawned on him that he had fallen asleep. He looked out the window to see the sun setting over the hill and panic took over him.

"Nononononono..." he jumped from his chair and rushed for the mirror at his sink, checking his face and hair for any mishaps. Just a few hours ago he made sure his hair was neat and clean, combed over his forehead to the right. Now, he had a cowlick pointing sky high on the back of his head like an antenna. Had it been an antenna maybe he would have gotten signals and wake up in time so he wasn't late!

"I didn't mean to sleep, I just wanted to relax before my date!" He frantically pushes the comb through his hair but despite all his attempts and added water the cowlick just won't go back down. The idea of dunking his whole head in the water enters his mind and it takes a couple strong resistances to make him stop himself.

The chime of an old mare barely reaches his ears via the unique echo system the stairs and hallways to his room. "Caramel, dear. What's all the ruckus?"

"I overslept, Ms. Dazzle! I didn't meant to and now my hair's a mess and I think my eyes are bloodshot and I just can't go out like this but I can't not go and – "

"Here, let me get that for you."

A soft pair of wrinkly light-blue hooves reached up, wet with saliva, and patted at his head. He hated the feeling of being groomed, but he gave up his dignity for the sake of hopefully looked presentable. The price he paid suddenly skyrocketed as he got a face full of her large, frizzled, silver mane as she tilted her head just the right way to make things awkward. But as if magic cement was applied to his hair, it did stay down rather lazily against his head just like he had it before.

The hooves then wiped at his chin and he suddenly felt dried drool split as the hairs were re-separated and then just as magically cleared from his face.

"You must have been working hard this morning to be so tired," Ms. Dazzle comments with her cooing voice.

"There were more customers than usual and a lot of them were picky. Is spring really the best time to get wedding rings?"

Are you kidding? The trees fresh with deep green leaves, flowers of all colors, shapes and scents filling the air and the ground at your hooves, it's the perfect time of year to get yourself a man! Speaking of, he's probably waiting for you, isn't he?"

"Shoot!"

Caramel narrowly dodged hitting Ms. Dazzle on his way past her and down the stairs to the front door. Her voice caught his hoof pointed out the door and to the dimming community of Ponyville, his momentum teetering dangerously close to falling over before landing safe and secure to his spot.

"Take these along with you." She tossed him a small, purple satchel with gold string keeping safe what was stored inside. He looked up at her with confusion before opening it. Cookies – oatmeal raisin, it looked like – lined like files in a cabinet rested and gave off a hungry temptation. "I'm not just good with metal, you know."

Caramel looked back up at her hesitantly, "You didn't make these with the furnace, did you?"

"Of course not! I use the oven like everypony else! I'm old, but I'm not senile!" She turned around with a cartoonish angry mumble and climbed back up the stairs. Caramel quickly closed the satchel and placed it comfortably on his back before heading off again.

The night sky brought with it a cool breeze that kept Caramel from sweating as he galloped through town and around the waning number of ponies. He tried to catch glimpses of himself using dark shop windows to make sure he still looked alright, but it was hard to tell with only the rising moon as a light source.

He rounded a corner and caught the sight of a large, red pony off down a couple blocks, just where they agreed to meet. He mentally cursed himself for not getting there earlier like he wanted. "The first date and I'm late?" he thought to himself. He continued to beat himself down as he slowed to a trot, allowing himself to take a few, loud breaths of air. "What kind of first impression is that? I wouldn't blame him if he didn't even give me a chance after this. Who wants a boyfriend who's late all the time?

"No," he mumbled under his breath, "I'm here now, that's all that matters. I can't let myself back down when I've come this far!"

His date's head turned at the sound of his clopping hooves on the dirt path and a soft smile – visible from even that distance – crept up on his face to replace his stoic one. He spit out a string of hay he had in his mouth as Caramel approached, whipping his blond hair a bit so a particularly long bang covered part of his eye.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Mac!" Caramel apologized with a wheeze, "I fell asleep. Don't know how it happened. You weren't waiting long, were you?"

"Nope," Mac replied with a shake of his head, "Just got here m'self."

Caramel visibly relaxed at hearing that. He wasn't late at all!

"Good. That's good."

A slight pause broke between them where they shifted eyes from each other, Caramel padding the ground with his hoof. Mac poked at the silence with a nod of his head towards a forest down the road, where their date would, be and something in Caramel snapped him back to conversation.

"Oh, right! Yeah, let's go."

They began a trot up the path with a comfortable distance between the two, something Caramel both enjoyed but hated. The distance was comfortable, safe, yet all he wanted to do was inch just a bit closer. Though, the silence from earlier certainly didn't fill him with confidence, so he let the thought slip away. But he had to try something, anything, or the date would be a waste!

"So, how was your day?" Caramel threw as much enthusiasm behind his legitimate interest as possible, though he knew it sounded forced regardless, "Did you get a lot of work done?"

"Eeyup," was all the response he got.

Caramel felt what little wind he had behind his sails pitter out at the abrupt response. He took another second to come up with not much of a follow-up, but it was better than nothing.

"You must be awfully tired. I get winded with just selling jewelry to ponies, I can't imagine going through a whole field of apple trees."

This time, Big Macintosh let out a sharp exhale, almost like a chuckle, before returning Caramel's comment with a smile and a shake of his head, "Nope."

Their gazes moved back to the path before them. They were rather deep in the forest now. A fluttering, buzzy feeling flew around his gut as they got closer. Whatever it was Big Macintosh wanted to show him here, just getting there through the darkness was making him anxious.

"Hey, Big Macintosh?" Caramel turned once more to his date, who returned his look with a questioning eyebrow, "What's so special that we have to walk all the way out here?"

Just as Mac seemed ready to answer, they breeched through a line of trees into a clearing blanketed by complete darkness. Caramel instinctively kept close to Big Macintosh, who wrapped a hoof around him for comfort. He guided Caramel just a bit deeper into the darkness where he could feel a soft, worn patch of grass that felt comfortable to lay in. They did just that as Big Macintosh kneeled down and rolled onto his back with Caramel still attached. Together, they looked up at the sky and the sight took Caramel's breath away.

Forever. He could see forever. Every star, every color, every swirl of asteroid belts and glimmer of stardust felt to consume him, engulf him in what he never knew was there. The way the entire universe seemed to bend and spin into a twisted representation of an artist's mind made it difficult for him to breath. He felt the pressure, the weight, the intensity of his insignificance crush him. Every time he looked he saw more, more stars behind other stars and colors he didn't even know existed. All of it, all ready to swallow him whole, felt... unbelievable.

"This is... I..." He couldn't. Nothing came out. No arrangement of words could describe the feeling of this scene before him.

"Ah do a lot of thinkin' here." Big Macintosh's voice felt like it took over what few senses he could feel in this impossible infiniteness. Caramel managed to break free from the universe's spell long enough to turn his head to where he heard his voice. He couldn't actually see the stallion, but somehow Caramel knew that he was being flashed the biggest, most comfortable smile. The warmth he felt from being this close gave him a security that erected a shield around them. The ever expanding universe above them suddenly felt less threatening and more beautiful.

They must have stayed there for an hour, maybe longer. Silence fell for most of it, but it wasn't a waste. Big Macintosh gently nudged Caramel to stand up and carefully wrapped his hoof around him again and led him back through the wall of trees where the moon's light could still shine through. Compared to the darkness behind them, the light glow of the moon felt illuminating and allowed them to make their way easily through the forest and back to Ponyville. It wasn't until they were nearly at Ms. Dazzle's jewelry shop that Caramel noticed Mac still held him around his hoof. He didn't say anything, of course. If Big Macintosh suddenly decided that it was inappropriate to do so, well that just wouldn't do!

They stopped in front of the door and Mac then let Caramel free so as to face him properly. Caramel could see a hint of red as a blush managed to break through Big Macintosh's fur. By the way his face was feeling heated, he must have been blushing, too. They both wore goofy smiles, averting each other's gaze for a moment before locking eyes again.

"I had a really good time. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen." Caramel's voice felt weak in his throat, but it seemed that Mac could hear him anyway.

Big Macintosh responded with only a nod of his head, the way he closed his eyes as he did so giving a sincere warmth along with it.

Caramel opened his mouth to say something, but felt the words catch in his throat. He stood there, mouth gaping slightly as he continued to look deep in his eyes. Eventually, he found the strength to say it.

"I would really like it if we went out again."

Not a moment was wasted before Big Macintosh nodded again, adding a verbal, "Eeyup."

Caramel suddenly felt like he was soaring as he leaned his head close and kissed his cheek. It was a slow drag, gentle and faintly there. Caramel made to pull back, but found he just couldn't let Mac leave yet. He didn't have enough. He leaned back in and this time landed a kiss square on the lips, eyes closed, letting passion take over as Big Macintosh eagerly returned the kiss. The soft noise of kissing seemed to echo around them. They were the only ponies there, the only ponies in the whole universe who mattered.

When the kiss finally broke an agonizing pain felt to squeeze Caramel at his heart. He couldn't let Big Macintosh go yet, but he knew there would be a next time.

"I'll see you later, Big Macintosh."

"Big Mac's fine."

Big Mac kept his dopey grin as he turned around and slowly walked his way through the streets and around the corner, out of sight. Caramel had to take a couple minutes to collect himself enough to open the door to his home. Just as he closed the door he heard the creak of an old rocking chair.

"That was sweet, Caramel."

Caramel's eyes bugged wide Ms. Dazzle clicked on the lamp over her favorite rocking chair and revealed her cheeky grin.

With Caramel's brain swimming with hormones and already a huge hole where Big Mac used to be he couldn't think of any proper response, sarcastic or otherwise, so he opted to angrily climb up the stairs and pretend he wasn't still blushing.

The next morning Caramel woke to the rising sun as it hit his face. Opening his eyes felt like splitting open dry earth and under his eyes and when he forced himself up he suddenly felt like he was back in school and his parents would literally pull him out of bed some mornings. His body screamed at him to sleep, but he willed his hooves to the side of the bed and landed his hooves groggily on the floor. Step-by-step he made his way to his bathroom. Seeing himself in the mirror, he noticed the darkest bags he'd ever seen under his eyes. Despite how well he slept last night it never felt like he was asleep long enough. His head felt like it would droop to the floor as he moved to the bathtub and turn on the shower, hopped in and got himself clean and ready for the day.

Feeling much more refreshed, and even a bit happy, he grabbed a bit to eat from his pantry-shelf and made his way down the stairs and behind the counter sitting in the main entrance of Ms. Dazzle's home. He worked his morning routine, checking the jewels underneath the glass that they were all accounted for and sparkling clean. When everything seemed satisfactory, he flipped the "CLOSED" sign on the door to "OPEN" and relaxed, knowing the first wave of customers weren't even awake yet.

He heard a door open from around the corner and out popped Ms. Dazzle with her mane frizzier than ever. The wave of heat behind her was visible even from Caramel's point of view and sweat covered her body. She turned to him with an impressed smile.

"Well, look who's up bright and early for once."

Caramel's face scrunched at that, "I'm always behind the counter at this time."

"But you're never awake. You're usually resting your head on the counter," Caramel rolled his eyes but decided that, since she was correct, it was best not to argue back, "Did you even manage to eat?"

"Never go a morning without at least a bite, Ms. Dazzle," Caramel punctuated that with a proud smile, like he'd done a good job.

"You could use more than just a bite, in my opinion. You don't have to famish yourself to stay skinny. I'm sure your coltfriend wouldn't like dating a bag of bones."

"Says the bag of bones."

"You watch your tongue boy or Imma smack you!"

"And he never said he was my coltfriend." Caramel looked to the side and his cheeks flushed red.

"Didn't look that way to me. That was the most passionate kiss I've seen since my own youth! Why, I remember back in my day..."

Caramel let Ms. Dazzle go on about her you’re a hundred years ago as his mind drifted back to Big Mac. She was right, he was still feeling hungry. Maybe on his break he could go down to the market for some apples? Certainly sounded delicious either way. And maybe Big Mac would be there!

His daydreaming was cut short by a swift, hard blow to the head by projectile fruit. He watched as a McIntosh apple fell to the floor at his hooves.

"Don't ignore your elders you hormonal whippersnapper! What rudeness kids these days have!" She ranted and raved back into the room she came from, where she worked on the jewelry she would then sell.

With a grumble of his own, Caramel picked up the apple and gave it a big bite, the connotation of which he was fully aware of. Yeah, he should visit the apple cart for some lunch.

One o'clock rolls around and Ms. Dazzle takes over the counter for Caramel's much-need lunch. He quickly pranced out the door as he looked forward to more Big Mac. He knew it couldn't be for very long as he was likely very busy selling his apple harvest, but any time at all was welcome in his book. The crowd of ponies meant nothing to him even as he accidentally bumped into several of them. Nothing could break Caramel's daydream-y state.

Except for Big Mac not being at the Apple cart. Instead, Applejack was there and looking just as spirited as ever, talking up a storm about her apples and how they were the most delicious apples this side of Equestria. When she saw Caramel approaching, she waved.

"Howdy, Caramel!" she said with a smile, "The usual today?"

Caramel stood a bit stunned. Disappointment finally put his brain back in motion and he managed to reply, "Uh, yes please."

He dug around in his satchel, an emerald green one with a deep forest-green string, for the bits as she put a few apples in a bag for him. As they made the exchange, she looked at him with a smile that made him feel like he was being investigated.

"So, how'd the date go last night?"

Caramel could feel a lump grow in his throat, and no forced swallow would make it go away. He instead tried to force the words out.

"W-what, Big Mac didn't say anything?"

"Oh, he did. Ah just want ta hear it from yer end's all." She stood to lean against her cart, hoof resting on the provided counter.

Another forced swallow, still the nervous lump persisted. This time it brought sweat to his brow.

"Well, he took me to go star gazing. It was absolutely beautiful, though I admit it was rather intimidating see... all that. I'm glad he was with me, it felt like he kept me safe." He was slowly smiling as he talked about their date with his blush returning once again. When he realized his head was up in the clouds again, he came back to earth as Applejack felt to leer at him with a judging gaze.

"Sounds like a lot of fun. You know, he's never shown anyone his thinkin' spot before," Caramel let that thought swim around in his mind for a minute. He knew that spot was important to Big Mac, but he didn't realize how secret it was to him. And he let Caramel in on the first date? "Ah heard ya kissed him, too."

Like being ripped from his body, Caramel suddenly felt daggers in his eyes with that comment. He began to sweat. What was she going to do to him? It was hard to tell if she was angry or not. He recalled hearing somewhere that Applejack was really strong, and diligent, too. This was it, he was going to die here.

A swift change in emotion and Applejack was smiling. "Good work, partner. Didn't think ya had the guts. Then again, I didn't expect you to be the one to ask him out, either."

Caramel's lungs felt like they shrunk as he let out the breath of air he'd been holding. He took a moment to collect himself, panting as evening out his breathing before looking at her again.

"Gimme a break," Applejack said with a roll of her eyes, "ya think Ah would hurt ya for courtin' mah brother? Ah'm happy! He's never been out on a date before and he came with the dopey-est face Ah've ever seen on him! Didn't take ya for a natural romantic, that's for sure," she threw a couple extra apples into his bag and threw it onto his back before he had a chance to protest, "Take it as thanks, from me. Ah'll tell him ya stopped by. He'll definitely be here next time."

Caramel thanked her and turned around to make his way back to Dazzle's Bedazzles, the shop owned by Ms. Dazzle and his home. He felt warm inside. Somehow, things were going just absolutely perfect.

Author's Note:

In which the author completely forgets about the satchel of cookies and, after writing the whole rest of the chapter, couldn't fit in the scene he WANTED to put in when he thought of the cookies in the first place. Why didn't I just take the cookies out altogether? Well, I felt the scene between Caramel and Ms. Dazzle as-is was important to show the relationship they have. Let's just call this a continuity error.

It's been FOREVER since I've written anything, let alone a multi-chapter story. Will I actually finish this one? Only time will tell, but I can say right now that I'm super excited for the cute storm I've prepared!

Comments

[SageBrony07]

Interesting idea for a story. It was nice to picture Mac being the bashful one at the end.

[Storm butt]

"Had it been an antenna maybe he would have gotten signals and wake up in time so he wasn't late!"

If only Caramel knew what the heck a phone antenna was.

Okay long wall of text so I will insert this gif of a reference you won't understand of this character I don't like.

33.media.tumblr.com/96aff0d8854aa3e9a6324b6938730f08/tumblr_n5hkrxxcdu1r6c90zo7_r2_400.gif

Okay so first of all be prepared for a swarm of bitching, because I love you Sora.

This story, while full of cute ideas, feels like an outline for a chapter much better. That long over detailed kiss seemed like it did not warrant it to feel that of description for characters we just met, and barely know their relationship with each other. Has Caramel had feelings for long? Did Mac ask him out or vise Versa? Did that five minute walk really begin their relationship or have they had a backstory before this? This story relies a lot on assumption when we really should be given details filled it. It's alright to drag a story out a few thousand more words or even chapters. It isn't even show don't tell, because you haven't told us a thing about these characters or why they know each other or how they met or why the hell we should have any reason to believe they like each other, much less like them ourselves.

Throwing in OC's for plot purposes is needed, I understand, I did it with Caramel's Brother and Braeburn's father in my stories and it worked out fine. The problem is we have literally no idea who this pony is, is he a relative of Caramel? A mother? Grandmother? Random crazy batshit lady? We need to establish characters and relationships and why the hell ponies are there if we want to have any connection to them. SHOW us how they met, why he's there. Show us him falling asleep. Create scenes, the entire first chapter doesn't have to be scenes with no breaks in it, you're allowed to establish characters before throwing us in this romance we have no reason to care about. If you go at a pace like this characters become empty husks who can't stand on their own and are defined only by their relationship, not the personality of the two created that relationship and opening up interesting dialogue and feelings and giving a heart to the story that really is crying for one.

Is Caramel shy? Why? Why does Big Mac have any reason to like him, they talk like this is the first time they've spoken and Caramel spotted a cute guy. But Obviously Mac sees something in him, but he's clamped up tighter than a ball gag on a sex dungeon imp. He obviously has to have something for him, he obviously knows this is a date and isn't just oblivious and not realizing he likes stallions. It makes him really feel like he has no character that makes him worth Caramel's time, which is why I come back to that kiss not being warranted. Mac does a lot of thinking at a cliff side. Okay, why? Does he think about his worries, his future, his family, anything? We don't know how these characters work and think, we can't be expected to like or care that they're kissing unless we're just here for the shipping itself, which might work for some people, but it feels really... fanfictiony. And I know that sounds strange, but you want to feel like an author here, make us feel emotions and give these characters life, show there personal life and worries before we find them even meeting. These characters aren't really characters in the show, they're background and at best supporting characters. Play off the fact that Mac is thick yet shy and kind, have Caramel trip and have him show actual worry and feed off his big brother persona that he has had his entire life. Have Caramel take a moment of rest while we all question why the hell he is sleeping in the middle of the day when they went stargazing!

When I read this, I just feel like I'm asking WHY the entire time, why are characters acting like this. The entire chapter is honestly hurt by feeling like a trailer for a story that needs more explanation if you want to cram so much into a single chapter. A scene of Caramel actually falling asleep on the job would do nice for that scene to have any kind of meaning near the end. Here's a case where you tell what could be used to develop so much more character if extended to an actual scene. The walk itself feels like a little loop around the block and that's it date's over passionate making out! You need to create the awkward tension of Mac being dead silent, of Caramel getting no actual words coming to him of a connection that he wants, that we assume he HAD to feel before in order. You have to love the characters and not just your ideas, as I said earlier, it feels like a cliff notes version instead of fully three-dimensional characters who have cute quirks like babbling when they blush and being dead silent yet shy and kind.

I know you have what it takes to be a good writer, just learn to love the characters.