The Pirate & the Royal

by RavenFire2908

Happily ever after (edited)

Happily Ever After

After Applejack and Rainbow escaped the clutches of Blueblood, they sailed away, their love continuing to grow. They married each other, just like Applejack always wanted to, for love. Rainbow Dash had find her true love, and didn't dare let it go. Their love became a treasure whose worth was measureless.

Rarity and Fluttershy joined Applejack and Rainbow some weeks after. After Fluttershy saw Mac for what he truly was, she lost her love for him. Twilight and Pinkie were still part of the crew. They all lived happily ever after...

But...

Back in Baltimare, Prince Blueblood was executed by the citizens of his kingdom. After they found out the truth, they stormed his castle. Many good ponies died in the assault, but their freedom was well worth it.

The Apples returned to their home. Mac and Granny were stripped of their titles once everypony learned about what they wished to do to Applejack. Apple Bloom grew to become a good ruler like her sister. She ruled the kingdom upon the values of peace and harmony.

Like the legend says, true love is the treasure that is not taken, but earned. The power of true love can never be overpowered. The legend of true power, that never should fall in the wrong hooves... will never happen. The treasure was, still is, and always will be... True love.

Comments

[Willfire]

OK first up I just got to say good story. While short and sweet it is still over all a good story have an up vote.

The GOOD: Each of the mane 6 still tip their hats towards cannon, Dash all brash, Pinkie all random, Rarity still fashionable, etc. Each put into a new light while still in a way themselves so no need to reach to see them as they are.

The plot is OK, pirates and royalty is over done but still this a nice read and I would pick it up again.

Grammer, to me and my own grammer and spelling can be pretty bad, is good and won't lose me. Hats off to your editers.

The BAD: too short. Plot while good felt rushed like you were just trying to finish the story in as few words as possible. There were many places where you can expand it some without losing the story. More interaction between Dash and AJ to give more details on how they came to love each other for example.

Little to no world building. I would like to know more aboit the world the characters live in. Are they island kingdoms? Is sailing the only form of getting around? What gives the pirates the edge in open waters? Many details about the world helps your readers see the world less like a stage and more like a living breathing entity of its own.

Overall Review: Good story for a well used plot. Add details to add life to the world. 8/10 Will read again along with sequals

[RavenFire2908]

5945699 this is a really old story and your right, even I think it's really short.

[Willfire]

5945820
True, the one thing that my phone won't do due to its small screen is see postings dates. But despite the age, its still a good story.