• Published 23rd Apr 2012
  • 4,315 Views, 440 Comments

How did I get here!?! - brandsca123

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Battle of wits #2 Celestia

Okay so the school visit was a bust, Miss. Cheeralee ordered a restraning order on me. Apparently I'm not aloud near the school house anymore. I'm such a good person.

Pinkie and I were walking to Twilights house because she got a letter from some princess who says she wants to meet me. I can only imagine how that would turn out. When we got there a carriage was parked perfectly to the side, a couple guards were waiting for me and Pinkie, who is still chained to my arm......Good god I want out of this thing.

Guard 1: "Are you the human."

Me: "No, she is." *points to Pinkie*

Guard 1: *Glares at me*

Guard 2: "Her majesty asked us to bring you and your friend up to the castle."

Me: "Can I try on your hat?"

Guard 2: "No."

Me: "Okay."

And they say speech is a dying art. The guards eye my PSYCO DAD t-shirt and exchange nervous glances. They motion us to get in the carriage, and take off without a word once we are on. As we were flying through the air Pinkie kept glancing back at me. What the hell does she want, what's so interesting about me that she has to look every five minutes. Good god it's making me nervous, or is that gas.

We land near the castle and are led inside, again guards left and right were eyeing my t-shirt with scared looks on their faces. We are then led into the throne room and standing before me had to be the most buitiful thing I have ever saw.

Me: "Look a red carpet!" *Points to the ground*

We hear a giggle in front of us. Celestia looked down at me with wonder.

Me: "And there's her." *Points to Celestia*

Please god please let her have a sense of humor.

Celestia: "He's a funny one isn't he."

Thank you.

She had a motherly tone to her voice and it made me feel calm. Now please god don't let me say anything stupid please.

Celestia: "So your the human my student has been writing about these past few days."

It's only been two days but who's counting.

Me "Curtis Brandstetter, destroyer of worlds at your service." *I take a bow*

F*ck, I did it again.

Pinkie: "He's only saying that to get attention your majesty."

Thank you Pinkameana. An awkward silence filled the air as the princess eyed me with worry.

Pinkie: "He's special, your majesty."

Celestia: "Oh, ummm....sorry to hear that."

Me: "Thats what my doctor said, and then he died."

More awkward silence.

Pinkie: "He calls his disorder Aspergers, says it effects the brain."

Oh, yeah I forgot I told her that, note to self watch out for Pinkie Pie.

Celestia: "Oh, I've heard of that. Not to worry some ponies get that too, they say it effects the way you interact with others, and other things." *Gives me a polite smile*

Wow, ponies have autismn, I never even knew that. The more you know.

Celestia: "Ummm, Pinkie why is he chained to your torso?"

Pinkie: "Twilight says it's so that he never destroys Ponyville, and that he can't be trusted alone."

Celestia: "You mean to tell me that my student has been treating him like a monster." *She gives me a sad look*

Pinkie: "Yup, yup, yup."

Celestia: *Sighs* "Guards unchain them this instant."

A guard comes in and walks up to us.

Guard: "Are you sure that's safe your majesty, I have heard the rumors about him. They say he is like a time bomb that can go off at any moment."


Wow, that royal canterlot voice sure packs a punch. My ears are ringing. The guard flinches in surprise and then unchains us. Finally freedom, I rub my wrist and silently thank her.

Celestia: "Pinkie I want you to stay with this human and keep an eye on him. You are now his social worker. In the meantime I will send some files to the mayor of Ponyville, hopefully it would educate the public on his disorder."

Pinkie: "Okee dokee lokee."

Celestia: "Curtis, I apologise in advance for the way my student and all of Ponyville have treated you thus far. I'm afraid your condition is not something that most ponies know about, anyway welcome to Equestria."

To be honest, I don't know what to say, I finally met someone other than my mother or my brother that knows about Aspergers. I think I might actually get along with her.

Celestia: "Oh and Pinkie."

Pinkie: "Yes princess."

Celestia: "As his social worker I want you to keep a detailed report on his behavior, and anything about him."

Pinkie: "Huh, but isn't that Twilights job?"

Celestia: "With the way she has been acting around him, I don't think I could trust her near him."

Pinkie: "Ohhhh, Okay. But why choose me?"

Celestia: "Because I've noticed that you despite his behavior around other ponies have stuck with him. I don't see anypony else that I would trust him with."

Pinkie: "Okay"

You know this raises some questions, why would the princess take interest in me, and why isn't she going all "I don't like you. Your dangerous", on me? Could she be somehow responsible for me being hear. I know that Twilight said that it was the elements of harmony, but I still doubt it.

Celestia: "Anyway, I would greatly appreciate it if you two could stay the night. I will get a room ready for you and everything."

Okay, now I'm suspicious. This can't be a coincidence. I have to ask her.

Me: "Princess if you don't mind me asking, but are you somewhat responsible for me being hear, and why go to the trouble of giving both me and *cough*myworstnightmare *cough* Pinkie?"

Celestia seemed to be taken aback by my spontaneous increase in brain power. I mean this is the first time in ten years that I've been able to finally act somewhat normal. Give me a pat on the back my fellow bronies, I think I deserve it. Also I would like to mention the look on Pinkie's face, her jaw just hit the floor. Priceless.

Celestia: "That's a pretty big accusation Curtis, though I can tell you that no I am not responsible for you bing hear. I will forgive you for what you said though, as it's only natural for you to think that."

Me: "Thank god your not going to chop me up into little bits and eat them."

F*ck, well it was fun while it lasted. Celestia let out a giggle and told the guards to lead both me and Pinkie to our rooms. This is getting more and more complicated, I need to do a bit more investigating later. I must know the truth.