Well it's been one hell of a week. This is what happened:
Day 1- Death Kitty was introduced to the Cakes, they didn't like him that much after he tried to rip Mr. Cakes eyebrows off.
Day 2- Just received a letter from the princess. I have an IQ test in six more days. My examiner is princess Luna. Death Kitty scared Mr. Cake this morning in bed.
Day 3- Fluttershy came by for a visit. She quickly ran away after Death Kitty tripped Mr. Cake down the stairs. I guess I'll see him next fall *trollface*.
Day 4- Mr. Cake had one of his eyebrows yanked off by Death Kitty, Pinkie Pie treated me out to lunch that day. We went to Mcponies, she is my social worker after all.
Day 5- Death Kitty strikes again. This time from the air ducts. I'm starting to think that Mr. Cake is developing a fear of him.
Day 6- Mr. Cake now refers to Death Kitty as "The Little Demon". I think Death Kitty loved that name as he started using his leg as a scratching post.
Day 7- Tomorrow's the day of the test. Pinkie and I were picked up by the royal guards to stay the night at the castle before the test. Death Kitty came too, and is that Mr. Cakes other eyebrow in his mouth. Oh well, sucks to be him.
Now back to the present. I was in the study, waiting for Luna to come with some charts to record my smarts as she says. She came trotting through the door with Death Kitty holding onto her tail while being dragged across the floor. Looks like he wanted to play with her tail, he is a kitten by the way.
She put down a few IQ puzzles in front of me and got a chart ready. Death Kitty was now batting at her tail as it wiggled in the magic wind that normally surrounds alicorns.
Luna: "Right, my sister has informed me of your condition, and as it's the law you will need to complete an IQ test to see ifyou can be around other ponies."
I just listened to her. Death Kitty was still playing with her tail.
Luna: "I would appreciate it if your cat would stop doing that."
Me: "Death Kitty come here."
Death Kitty gave me a loving look and ran to me. He laid down on my lap and started to purr.
Death Kitty: "Meow"
Luna: "You named your cat Death Kitty?!"
She sounded surprised.
Luna: "I see it is a fitting name, as I found it tormenting one of my guards. Anyway Lets get this test started."
Everything went well. She asked me a few questions and I answered them to the best of my ability. Then came the puzzles...
Luna: "I want you to put this shape in the correct hole."
I looked at the yellow cube in front of me. You got to be F**king kidding, this is way to easy. I'm starting to think that this was an insult to my intelligence. I picked up the square and put it in the right hole.
Luna: "Good......Hey what are you...."
I picked up the box of shapes and tossed them out the window with a crash. Glass fell to the floor as Luna stared in shock at me.
Me: "I win! Lets go again!"
Luna: "Right ummm......Try to make the shape that is on the paper."
You know that puzzle where the shapes make a perfect square. Well it was one of those. I hated these puzzles with a passion, because of how easy they are.
I decided to let Luna know how I felt about what she just asked of me. I picked up a shape and flicked it at her forehead.
Me: "F*ck off"
Luna just went silent and left the room. I heard muffled shouts in the next room over. She came back in looking like she was having a bad hair day.
I decided to show her my appreciation by shoving all the notes and puzzles onto the floor as hard as I could.
Me: "I'm bored with this, I want to go break something with Death Kitty."
The IQ test ended there. As I was walking down to my room I heard an angry scream echo through the hallways.
I think maybe Luna hates me now.
Maor death kitty!!!!!!
I luv death kitty
531038 He is my mini me
well, you can now expect a total sh*tstorm of hate from at least one princess, and I have a feeling Celestia's won't be far behind.
Try calling her "celery" a few times...
I love this story, It makes me laugh soooo hard!
I have a feeling that something bad is coming up
Death Kitty for the WIN!!!
531232 Get him Death Kitty
NOOOOO STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!
You should stop being rude around Luna, I think she might have power over your dreams and you don't want nightmares.....
Oh, and the cat broke Mr. Cake. WHAT COULD COME?
531516 Luna doesn't scare me......Hold on I believe something is tapping on my window. *Goes to open it*....OH SHIT!
531570
DEATH KITTY WILL NOT HELP YOU!
Nopony can save us now...
I just realized, If your a pony, how can you flick it?
531851 The tag says human. I'm not ponyfied and never will be. Besides I never stated in the fic that I was.
531851 The tag says human. I'm not ponyfied and never will be. Besides I never stated in the fic that I was.531587 You were saying. *holds up Death Kitty wha has a piece of Lunas hair in his mouth*.
>>brandsca123 but i thought you said something about having hooves.
531912 No I said I was chained to Pinkie Pie's hooves. For a short time though. Now I'm free to cause mayhem.
>>brandsca123 Ok i went back and i see now
anyway, great story but when will rarity get forced to shoot you... she seems ticked off
IDEA!!!!!!!
532037 She can try but I will always get her back.....ALWAYS!
>>brandsca123 The day equestria hates you... that'll be the day
532079 How can they hate a pretty face like this.
>>brandsca123 Just take a glance out your window...
532112 *goes to window*........................... I see nothing.
Oh... ok then...um...fine! you win *bows while Death Kitty chews my neck**faints from bloodloss*
531883
Hey, do your cat love bananas?
532271 SWAG
death kitty should meet my friend's cat. Who eats full grown groundhogs. Seriously, I saw this cat eat a full grown groundhog that got nailed by a truck a block away from my mom's. it was hypnotizing and disgusting at the same time.
>>brandsca123 I want to see Death Kitty get dropped down Zecora's chimney!
532398 Hell no, it's only funny if Opal gets hurt. Besides I love Death Kitty like a brother.
530536
OH SHIT
>>brandsca123 oh sorry. Then drop Opal then.
besides, Death Kitty wont get hurt, he's Death Kitty!
531093 I'm not talking about Opal, I am talking about Demon Kitty. My mini me if you would like to know
531516 Wouldn't she have to enter his mind to mess with his dreams? He's a human. The human mind can be a scary place. She might end up mad and with night terrors.
Curtis, you're being a major asehole.
Still funny
'I think Luna hates me now' xD
I believe Celestia and Pinkie are the only ones who DON'T hate him
It's official; this whole fic is one giant troll