• Published 23rd Apr 2012
  • 4,315 Views, 440 Comments

How did I get here!?! - brandsca123

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Medication

Well I'm f****ed, Rarity was let out of prison once Celestia found out about my little prank. She was a little mad but congratulated me on my creativity, so it was one of those mixed bags of shit you normally buy at a gas station. I'm grounded for six months now, and I have to visit the doctors to get myself some medication to deal with my random nature. I can imagine what my life would be like eighty years from now...

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Fortunately the doctor came to me. I will name him Spanky for you the reader. Well his true name is Killjoy, I wonder how he got that name.....Dr. Killjoy. Sounds like a super villain if you ask me. Death Kitty was beside me as always.

Killjoy: "Hi my name is Dr. Killjoy, your mother has informed me that you are in need of some medication."

Me: "Sure thing Spanky."

Killyoy: "Right......Anyway I must first take a psychiatric evaluation befor I prescribe you with any pills."

It was the normal list of questions like, do I have any suicidal thoughts or do I have feelings of depression. It went well, until he got to one question.

Killjoy: "Right so you have no suicidal thoughts, but you do suffer from depression. You seem to have a multipersonality complex and you take pride in tormenting others for fun. You have paranoid delusions and are prone to mood swings."

Me: "I'm pretty messed up huh..."

Killjoy: "Well I have one more question to ask you. Do you suffer from any urges?"

Me: "Well.....Sometimes I wish to harm others just for the hell of it. I also have destructive urges sometimes too."

Killjoy: "Well it seems to me that you need some poison joke extract to help balance your mind."

Me: "Shut the f*ck up Spanky."

Killjoy: "Yeah......The medication will be sent in the mail, be sure to follow the instructions on the bottle exactly. I will be leaving now so be good and don't hurt anything."

He left through the door.

Me: "See you later Spanky."

A passing guard stared at me with a confused look.

Me: "What you looken at Willis."

The guard just shook his head and left. I cuddled with Death Kitty for a bit before I had to leave for dinner.


After dinner I got the letter from Killjoy.

Me: "Oh boy, a letter from Spanky!"

Shining Armor happened to be doing his rounds at the moment and he heard my outburst.

Shining Armor: "Uhhh...Spanky?"

Me: "Don't ask....."

Shining Armor gave me a look and slowly backed away. I tore open the package and took out a bottle of blue pills.

Me: "Take one every morning after you wake up.....Sounds legit."

I decided to pay Discord another visit afterwards. Death Kitty was sleeping in my room so I was alone. I got to the statue and noticed that the horn I broke off was still on his nose. Now being the nice guy that I am I broke the other one off as well. I heard a muffled scream coming from the statue.

Me: "Now lets make you all pretty."

I heard a groan of fear.

Me: "I sense fear...."

I pulled out a black marker from my pocket. This time a scream of fear came from the statue. I drew derpy eyes on his sockets, and gave him a moustache and a pair of lips. I wrote the word RETARD on his forehead.

Me: "There, I believe that suites you better."

I heard some muffled cries and a few grunts coming from Discord. I left him alone once I was done. I hope Celestia likes what I did for him. I'm truly a kind person to help someone in need.