• Published 23rd Apr 2012
  • 4,315 Views, 440 Comments

How did I get here!?! - brandsca123

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Changling= :D

I was walking through the gardens when I heard the sound of a spell being cast. Turning the corner I saw the queen of the changlings Chrysalis taking the form of a random stallion.

Me: "Hey Spanky!"

Chrysalis: "What? When did you get here, and what are you?"

Me: "I promise not to tell anypony about what I saw. In return I want you to hang around with me for the rest of the day."

Chrysalis: "Never!"

Me: "Guards!!"

Chrysalis: "Fine I'll do it!"

Wow, I just gained control over a changling. This should be fun. Just then two guards appeared.

Guards: "Yes your highness."

Me: "Inform my mother that I'll be going down to the hospital to get Changalis over here a sex change."

Chrysalis: "What, I never agree...."

Me: "The doctor has to snip his thing if ya know what I mean."

The guards exchanged looks and went away. Chrysalis had her mouth open in shock. I quickly grabbed a conveniently placed chain and flyswater on the ground. I chained her to my arm and started to drag her away. I made sure to go over as many rocks as possible.

Chrysalis: "Stop *ouch* this instance *ouch*!"

I smacked her across the face with the flyswater.

Me: "Why would I do that? It's fun seeing you suffer."

Now I know in the show Chrysalis is a true villainess, but when someone no matter how evil hangs around someone like me, they quickly change their attitude from brave to scared shitless.

Me: "I can smell your fear, it smells of apples."

Chrysalis: "I swear to...."

*smack*

Chrsalis: "STOP THAT!!!"

*smack*

Me: "Make me."

*smack*

Chrysalis lunged for me but I dodged and gave her a kick to the back. I giggled like a school girl on crack at her pain.

Chrysalis: "You have a twisted sense of humor........I think I like that."

Oh shit, I turned her on. Big mistake, bad thought, bad thought.

Me: "Look don't get any bright Ideas, other wise I might be forced to kill you."

Chrysailis was shocked that her charm wouldn't work on me. To be truthful, i don't think she even knows how to act around a human. I could use this to my advantage later.

Me: "And don't try that changling love charm on me. It won't work, the worst it could do is piss me off."

Chrysalis: "I'm not using any charm, lets just say that I find your attitude quite attractive."

Oh shit. She really does like me. I must fix this, but how......I know Candace. I dragged her inside the castle and quickly went to Candace's room. I knocked on the door.

Candace: "Coming."

She opens the door.

Candace: "Oh, cousin. What brings you here?"

Me: "I want you to convince Changalis Mc Spanky over here that love isn't a true feeling."

Candace was looking at me like I was retarded. Well I am a little bit, good thing I have those pills.

Candace: "But love is a real feeling."

Me: "No it's not. I sat it is more of a death sentence than a true feeling."

Chrysalis: "So true...."

Candace: "Take that back!"

Me: "Look Rimshot if you're not going to be any help then just get out of my face."

Candace slammed the door in my face. Chrysalis was still hitting on me.

Me: "Will you stop that, it's gross."

Chrysalis: "I know of something that is even grosser."

Me: "Shut up. Anyway I need to find a way to get rid of you."

Chrysalis: "We could always try your room."

Me: "Not helping!"

My god if she says one more thing to me I will kill her. Then it hit me.

Me: "The mines!"

I ran downstairs, Chrysalis' head was bouncing of the steps. I quickly went to a small part of the castle garden that was hidden from view. Now for the hard part, trying to convince this crazy bitch to go down there. I decided to use the direct approach and dragged her inside.

Chrysalis: "Where are you taking me?"

I ignored her and got to a small clearing in the cave. I took the chain off me and chained her to a pillar and left. I heard her voice echo through the mine.

Chrysalis: "Promise me you will be back."

I gagged and left, there is no way in hell I'll be dating an insect. I then felt something tug at my mind.

Oh shit, she has a hold on me. I will have to figure out a way to deal with that later, right now I'm starving.