It was a beautiful day out in the castle gardens, Death Kitty and I walked around enjoying the scenery. Death Kitty was chasing butterflies and having a good time, while I went to look at some of the statues.
The statues were random stallions or mares that were of the royal family, but one in particular caught my eye. It was Discord, the stupid draconicus from the show.
I smiled as I walked over to it.
Me: "Well, well, well Discord. I see you're stoned out of your mind."
The statue just stared at me with its cold dead eyes. Now knowing me I can't go two seconds without doing something stupid, and you know what. I wanted to see if I could break his head off. I gave the statue a high kick to the face. Nothing happened so I decided to just punch at the air and pretend I was fighting him. Death Kitty decided to join in at this point, so I let him.
Little did I know I was being watched.
Celestia: "Enjoying your stay?"
Me: "MONKEY ON A STICK!"
I was startled, Celestia only giggled. Death Kitty was now scratching at the base of the statue.
Me: "Don't sneak up on me like that."
Celestia: "I see you have an interest in Discord."
Me: "Well I was just seeing if i could break his head off."
Celestia went silent for a moment, the birds chirped around us. I thought I heard a muffled scream of fear coming from the statue.
Celestia: "You were?"
Me: "Yeah. But it didn't work this thing is as solid as a rock."
To prove my point I grabbed one of his twisted horns and applied some pressure. The horn snapped off and I fell to the ground. I heard a muffled grunt and some silent curses coming from the statue.
Me: "I didn't do it."
I quickly put the horn on the nose. It balanced perfectly on its side. I heard some more muffled curses from the statue.
Me: "Does the statue mumble like that all the time?"
Celestia: "On occasions. But I think maybe you should leave it alone right now."
I looked at the statue, then at the broken horn that was balanced on the tip of his nose. I stepped back and followed Celestia inside. Death Kitty soon ran to catch up to us.
I saw my cousin in law out in the hallway. I never liked Blueblood, and I don't think he liked me. Whenever we could we tried to see who could be the better prince. It usually ended with me poking one of his eyes out with my finger. Today was no different as we confronted each other in the hall.
Blueblood: "I still can't believe auntie adopted a beast like you."
Me: "Well she had you didn't she?"
Death Kitty was busy ripping a hole in his tuxedo. I decided to play along and I pulled on his moustache hard.
Me: "Honk, honk!"
Blueblood: "Stop that this instance!"
Me: "Stop being a royal pain in the ass Bluey."
He hated it when I called him that. He growled but I retaliated by poking him the eye with my index finger. He backed off after that.
Me=10
Blueblood=0
I believe that's about how much I one upped him. Me and Death Kitty left him to his own devices.
I decided to fill out a form for Equestria's most wanted.
Me: "Name, Rarity. Crime, Is being a stuck up bitch a crime? Nah....I think I'll put in possession of poison joke. Reward.....10,000 bits. I think that it. I hope she got that package I sent her."
Death Kitty: "Meow"
Me: "I know. I think I should visit Ponyville to see how this goes."
Death Kitty purred and we both left the castle, but not before submitting the form.
As I got off the carriage I was tackled by a pink blob.
Pinkie Pie: "I heard the news, you got adopted by the princess. Twi's not so happy about it and Rarity is well....mad. Some guards came to her house today and started chasing her through Ponyville for possession of poison joke. I believe she's still running....Oh hi Rarity!"
Rarity ran past us screaming. Five guards were hot on her tail.
Guards: "Halt in the name of the law!"
Rarity: "That isn't mine, I have no idea on how it got there!"
She continued to scream as she ran down the road.
Pinkie Pie: "Ummm....Curtis, you didn't have anything to do with this right?"
Me: "Nope."
She believed my lie. Rarity ran back to us screaming again while the guards chaesed her.
Rarity: "Curtis I swear if you have anything to do with this I'll...."
Guards: "Now she's threatening the prince. That's ten more years in prison."
Rarity: "No what I didn't mean....."
She screamed even louder as she ran full circle down the road and back. Death Kitty was following the action with his head, turning it left and right as she ran.
The guards tackled her to the ground and handcuffed her.
Rarity: "No please I can't survive in prison, what about Sweatiebelle, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
She was then carted off to jail.
Me: "I'm sure they would let her out early for good behavior."
Anyway Pinkie Pie invited me to a picnic with her friends. All of them had questions as to what life was like at the castle. I told them it was boring at times, but I normally have fun by picking on Blueblood and the guards.
Yes I know people I can be a "Royal Pain" sometimes.
563690 Rarity is one of my favorite ponies. I just like to toment her.
563761 I feel the same about Pinkie Pie.
563761 for me the most atractive one is Fluttershy
563830 I am a little bit. But she still makes me smile. It's one of those mixed feeling kind of thing. Anyway did you notice how the admin poultron tends to pick on TAW. How long has this arguement been going on and why is it happening?
Death Kitty is the best in all of the latest chapters, I hope he will get a bigger part later!
563860 He might get a oneshot camio story.
563858 hell no!! your normal. I am a furry myself lol
563843 Same here theyre all cute tho
564751>>563910>>563888>>563860 Farmer brown makes a camio
[youtube=DPrrVoejUkQ]
>>brandsca123 R.I.P. Rainbow Dash, my favorite pony
Raritys flank is going to hurt so much once she gets out. A lovely unicorn and a lot of locked up mares.what happens in prison stays in prison.
565397 She lives.
i think she will or then she evolves to like the bitch of the prison
566047 I think she may turn into this.
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133544260504.jpg
or
[youtube=bQ0JahhFkts]
or
[youtube=U5nKo0gxxNw]
'she beats those eggs like she beats applebloom' lol
O__O if she go's sadistic rarity i'm fu--ed big time!
563745
We always hurt the ones we love. Though I'm surprised you haven't pulled the "super glue on a toilet seat" gag on Rarity yet.
563745 so you make her sent to jail for insulting the prince and also for poison joke
Wow i was waiting for Rarity to say "FUCK THE POLICE" and start running