• Published 23rd Apr 2012
  • 4,315 Views, 440 Comments

How did I get here!?! - brandsca123

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Picnic with Friends

My first ever picnic with friends. You could only imagine how exited I was when Twilight came over to Sugarcube Corner and invited both me and Pinkie, I was literally bouncing off the walls. Though I think it also had to do with the high sugar diet I've been having.

We found a spot near a small lake, as we sat in the shade of the only tree there, Twilight and her friends took the opportunity to get to know me more. So far the only thing that they know about me is my disability, thanks to the booklets the princess sent them. I believe Twilight was the first to ask me a question.

Twilight: "So Curtis, before you came to Ponyville, where did you live before?"

Me: "Well....lets just say it wasn't a nice place."

Rarity: "Come now Darling, surely you can tell us more."

Me: "Fine....It was a place where people who have no other place to go live. Most of the residents there were, drug addicts and criminals with the occasional special case here and there."

Fluttershy: "That sounds awful."

Me: "Well yeah sure it was awful, but most days were actually very amusing."

Applejack: "How in the hay, can something so awful be amusing?"

Twilight: "Applejacks right on this one Curtis, from what you told us this place sounds like more of an institution for the mentally challenged and criminally insane."

Me: "That's exactly what made it amusing, it was never a dull moment. It was funny to watch the residents react to the simplest of things. I believe one time a resident locked another resident in the bathroom, all because he didn't flush the toilet. Throughout the rest of the day the guy just sat there smelling his own fecal matter while muttering about how bad it smelled in there."

Twilight: "That's just cruel. How can you find something like that funny?"

Me: "The guy in question was nothing but a jerk to the staff and the other residents, I believe he deserved what he got."

Rainbow Dash: "You seem to have a twisted sense of justice Curtis, though I have to admit I would have laughed too if I was there."

Me: "It only gets better, another day I looked out the window to my room to see Bruce pretending to be a ninja. All he did was make sound effects as he punched and kicked the air."

Pinkie: "That does sound funny. But is there anything you miss about the place?"

Me: "Hell no, the residents barely had half a brain, and the most rewarding conversation I ever had there was with a mentally challenged fogee who always shit himself at the worst possible times, and don't get me started on how there hygiene is. I mean good god I can't even take two steps into a bathroom without stepping in some spilled urine or seeing that the toilet is covered in blood and crap."

Rarity: "My god, how did you manage to survive in such a messy place?"

Me: "Two words...anti-bacterial spray. Well that and I beat the living crap out of anyone who didn't flush."

Twilight: "Okay lets stop talking about dirty bathrooms, some of us are trying to eat."

Me: "And the staff was god awful. Not only were they as stupid as the residents, most of them didn't exactly enjoy working there, also the food was disgusting. Not only was it burnt but they put meat in the dishes and I'm a vegetarian, I can't eat meat, most of the time I ended up starving myself all because the cooks didn't care about my dietary needs. I should also mention they drugged the food to control the residents easyer. It wasn't a good place to live I'll tell you that."

Everyponies mouths dropped at what I said.

Me: "What?"

Twilight: "I err.... Don't know what to say."

Rainbow Dash: "That....wow just wow."

Pinkie: "........"

Fluttershy: "I'm....umm....sorry to hear about that........."

Applejack: "And nopony even cared about what was happenin in that there place?"

Me: "Pretty much. We were the dirt of society, no one even cared about us. It was all like, Lets put all the scum together and forget about them. So yeah it was pretty bad."

Rarity: "That's just awful, how can they get away with such a horrific act."

Me: "It's all the governments fault actually, they are the ones who put us in there."

Pinkie: "Oh my god."

Twilight: "But why would your leaders do that?"

Me: "I believe it's because they just don't care. It's all for the money, and to get the taxpayers vote in the next election."

An awkward silence was all that was there. Birds chirped out in the distance as we all stared at each other. Well this picnic was ruined, all thanks to my big mouth. We ate in silence before Twilight spoke again.

Twilight: "So ummm...lets change the subject."

All: "Right"

Rainbow Dash: "So, Curtis any idea on why you act like a clown?"

Rarity: "Rainbow Dash!, I'm shocked that you would ask such a thing."

Pinkie: "Oh, oh. I know, I know."

Rainbow Dash: "You do?, then spill it."

Pinkie: "It's a secret. Only me and Curtis know."

Rainbow Dash: "Oh, come on. That's not fair."

Everybody seemed to laugh at what just happened. The mood of picnic cheered up a bit as we continued to talk and eat. It amazes me on how Pinkie can make everyone smile and laugh with nothing but a word. The picnic was saved, and the rest of the day went well.