How did I get here!?!

by brandsca123

A Brand New....WTF

Well it was bound to happen. Today my life took a turn for the worst, or the better. I'm still not sure, as it is a mixed bag of shit. Now let me start from the beginning.....

Celestia: "Curtis come here please!"

That was the first thing I heard when I got up this morning. Celestia sounded disappointed with me. I got out of bed and walked to the throne room to meet her. But I wasn't prepared for what was inside waiting for me.

I opened the door and I was tackled by a black mass. It was squeezing me hard.

Celestia: "Get off him Chrysalis!"

I felt the mass let go and back up. Chrysalis was looking at me with a grin on her face.

Celestia: "So tell me, how long were you going to keep her locked up?"

This question was directed at me.

Me: "Until she rots."

I heard a meow from behind me, Death Kitty had entered the room. I quickly scooped him up and held him close to my chest.

Celestia: "Chrysalis also told me that you have a thing for changlings."

Me: "I do not! She was the one coming on to me!"

I pointed at Chrysalis who was busy eyeing me all over.

Me: "Stop looking at me like that bitch!"

Chrysalis: "I find your form interesting."

Celestia just looked at us with a strang look on her face. I swear I could hear her giggling silently at us.

Celestia: "Anyway, I found her chained up in the Canterlot mines where she informed me of your little friendship. Now I have one more thing to ask of you, I would like you to move back to Ponyville with Chrysalis."

F*ck, F*ck, F*ck........She can't be serious, she can not be serious.

Celestia: "Now I wouldn't normally do this considering that she did try to take over the castle. But I see that she settled down quite a bit and that she seems rather happy to be near you."

Chrysalis: "I told you, you would be mine."

Me: "No you didn't. If you look back a couple of chapters you would notice it was all a dream."

Celestia: "What are you talking about?"

Me: "Would you believe me when I say that out there in the fourth dimension, teens and grown men and women are busy reading every single word we say."

I turned to face the reader.

Me: "Yes I am well aware of your existence, now you will join me in the dark side. Also I would like to say that we have cookies, and a competition going on on my user page. Check my blog out now!"

Celestia: "Who are you talking to?"

Me: "No one."

Chrysalis: "I believe he just broke the fourth wall in more than one way."

Death Kitty: "Meow"

Celestia shook her head and continued with her speech.

Celestia: "Anyway, I made arrangements for you and Chrysalis to move to a new home in Ponyville. I would like it if you Curtis, could keep her in line. Also please stay out of trouble, I still have to try to clean up what's left of Discord after you vandalized him."

Me: "He was screaming like a baby." *Chuckles*

Celestia: "A carriage awaits you two outside the castle. I wish you good luck in your new home."

Chrysalis: "It's just like fifty years ago when I started a new hive. Only this time I have a human with me."

Me: "Don't be getting any funny ideas, otherwise I will gut you on the spot."

Death Kitty: "Hissssssss"

Chrysalis: "I love it when you do that."

Celestia: "Have fun you two."

Chrysalis: "Oh, we will."

Me: "Noooooooooooooooo!"

And with that another story arc is finished. Stay tuned for the next arc called, The Changling Girlfriend arc. Now a word from our sponsors....

If your hip and knees start to feel like jello, pick up the phone and call Cornello.

A/N: I'm serious with what I just said when I broke the fourth wall.

Comments

[ExcitedReader]

this next arc is going to be extremely interesting

[dashers3]

Who knows...the dark side could be fun!
where would i sign up for this "dark side"?

I DEMAND DISCORD NOW!!!!!! (i cant use more emotes :( )

[dashers3]

599367 (a continuation expressing all of my rage on my last comment)

[kararnos]

oh my.....

[brandsca123]

599367 He is in the final arc okay, now please stop bugging me about it. I was going to keep it a secret until I made the final arc but......

Anyway if you want to join the darkside here is what you need to do.
1. Go to my comtest blog.
2. Read it thouroghly
3. write me a PM with your OC and all questions answered.
4. Take a box of cookies from the safe afterwards.

[Xavius_Night]

Oh man, this is going so well, I think back there is giggling her head off now.
Chrysalis is going to try soooo many things to get to him... just wait till she tries changing into a human...

Oh no, I gave th author an idea! What have I done?!
*looks around, crosses fingers*
Pleasepleaseplease...

[brandsca123]

599865 You do know the character in the fic shares the same name and persona as the auther(me). Basicly this guy is me.

[Xavius_Night]

599934
I know.
I hope you end up with an immortal shapeshifter, whose only thoughts are based around pleasing you so that you love her.

You deserve eternal bliss, man.

[CoryBrandstetter]

Who the hell is cornello??? I never got that reference D:

[brandsca123]

600907 It's a gag ad cory.

[Zephyr]

599678
Wait a second, I already sent my description in and got no cookies!
Yooouuu, you MONSTER! You ate them!

....

Fine I don't need cookies...

[Liaf112]

*randomly explodes*

[brandsca123]

601419 *Gives you a roll of duct tape and proceeds to clap his hands* Put yourself together, and I also give you a 10 for spraying the ponies in the splash zone. Also have a cookie.

[brandsca123]

601303 *Hands over a box of cookies and a glass of milk*

[Zephyr]

601528

....

APOLOGY ACCEPTED!

*Om-nom-nom*

[Liaf112]

*uses duct tape* cool and thanks for tha cookie

[brandsca123]

601535 CURTIS WINS HIS FRIENDSHIP.............*looks over to the table and the piece of cake* CURTIS WINS HIS CAKE

*nom-nom-nom*

(Scott Pilgrame FTW)

[Zephyr]

601586
The cake is a lie, eat a pie!
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/090/4/0/pieception_by_raizelmaxx-d4ujfbh.png

[AliCentaur Br0ny]

Things are getting weird.

[Shadow-Dancer]

GIVE ME THE COOKIES OR I WILL DESTROY THE DEMENTIONAL BARRIER AND EQUESTRIA AND THE DARK SIDE WILL LITERALLY BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *evil laugh*

sorry had to get that out it was eating at me i love my cookies