5631920 Some kind of new update or something, it involves text and it would cut out maybe a word or two. Even a whole sentence sometimes. It would be there, but invisible, if you highlighted and copied you would copy what was supposed to be there.
A bug in the coding is what people had said, and they gave a temporary solution, but I know nothing about coding.
5631845 ya I agree but it would be fun if this story branched off into two different storys for each mare seeing as it's easy to see him ending up with either of them
5632007 I disagree. The only vibe I'm getting from them is a brother/sister sort of relationship, but the kind where they're best friends. I don't think, with the set-up available from this story, that Will could ever think of Scoots like that. Like with Rainbow, she'll always be that awesome little filly, and a really good friend.
I didn’t need that image. I didn’t want to be thinking about that for who-knows-how-long. I felt like a creep as I tore my eyes away and tried to refocus on Rainbow’s tail.
5632448 I took it as he enjoyed it since he had to "tear" his eyes away from it, and he also felt like a creep indicating that he enjoyed what he was looking at, but felt shame that he was taking enjoyment. Unless the author speaks up in the comments, or a latter chapter clarifies, it's however you want to interpret it though, but I feel pretty confident in my assessment. Cheers.
5632476 I took it as the exact same kind of situation when you find yourself looking at something vulgar or rude and can't keep your eyes away. You don't necessarily want to or enjoy looking at it, but you can't help it.
Considering all of the negative descriptors the author used in those same paragraphs, I feel confident in my assessment.
It is going to be interesting seeing where this goes. I like how you somehow managed to leave almost every option open and equally valid, that is just impressive. Are you by any chance magic?
Man this chapter..... wow. That's all I have to say, it's wonderful. Can't wait to see ware this is going with Will and Scootaloo though. I'm sorta getting a brother/sister vibe from them, but at the same time, another vibe that I can't really plaice. I don't necessarily think it's a romantic one, but It's still to early to tell.
Now we're talking. I was a little underwhelmed by the previous chapter, but this one had me more invested, mostly because barriers were broken down. I also have to lend praise to your narration. Who did he specifically say it to? Perhaps he said it to both? Who knows.
5632116 You forget that Will is the one dude in the story that sees Scootaloo as more than just a silly child out of everyone. I get a very heavy feeling that he went the "sister" route with her because of Rainbow's presence; he's shown that he tends to behave like her by proxy.
I didn’t need that image. I didn’t want to be thinking about that for who-knows-how-long. I felt like a creep as I tore my eyes away and tried to refocus on Rainbow’s tail.
Sorry, but that doesn't tell me anything except he's uncomfortable with the thought. Very uncomfortable. Rainbow's being there probably helped the little sister relationship along, but I think that's where it was going anyway. He's not thought of her as a potential mate even once, and the one time he saw something he shouldn't have, his immediate thoughts were of how wrong it was.
And then it quickly transitions from hot and sexy to a sweet feely bath between friends with Scoots showing up. I really like the concept of ponies being fine with showering together with their comfortableness with nudity and the physical challenges with cleaning themselves. It takes something that would be scandalously taboo in our culture, and automatically thought of sexually, and turns it into something sweet and kind natured between friends and family. Really makes me think how fucked up our society is that we cant even imagine two nude people in close proximity to each other without shame or fucking. Thoroughly enjoyed Will and Dash's conversation where shes trying to point out its not a big deal to be nude near Scootaloo and hes having the expected human reaction
The whole scene of Rainbow washing Scoots and them playing together innocently while bathing really gives an alien feel from Will's perspective. In reality its a completely innocent scene of two friends hanging out acting no different then they would outside of a bath, but with that good old human upbringing its understandably weird and uncomfortable for him. Just another situation where our world is shown to be poorer than theirs.
Prob the most beautiful part of this chapter in my opinion is when Dash has an almost motherly moment with Scootaloo. When she's telling Scoots to be better than her and finish school. Its a pretty common conversation between older and younger friends but it means so much more coming from Dash. A tiny bit of her regrets in life shining through her i'm the most awesome pony ever mask, and just really has a motherly feel to it. Her wanting Scoots to do things better than her and have the chance for a better life when she's her age. Everything felt perfect and great about it. Dont feel like its going to be a thing in this story, but it really lets you imagine Dash being a good mother if she ever settled down enough to be one.
Think one of my favorite lines of the whole chapter was when Dash is stroking Scoots mane while shes sleeping and says "She's a really good filly, you know?" To which Will responds "She's a really good mare" Feel like the reader and Dash are both ironically often in the same spot, thinking of Scootaloo as a filly. Since in the show she is a filly, and Dash has always thought of her as her little sister. Despite the occasional childish lvls of enthusiasm and excitement (which is sad that it could possibly qualify you as immature for being too happy :P) your Scootaloo really does feel like the most mature of the main characters who has the potential to become an amazing mare that would make Dash and her father more proud than they already are. I enjoy the feeling of finding myself, and im sure other people do the same, still thinking of scoots as a filly even though shes been described multiple times as being older and is often the catalyst to helping Dash and Will face things they're hiding from, and spotting whats bothering them despite their best efforts to hide it. I feel its most likely just a coincidence of making a filly from the show older, or perhaps you're a masterful little thought weaver . Cause that line really makes an important statement that Dash, Flip, and the reader probably often subconciously forget. Scootaloo may still be young but she fully displays the maturity, empathy, and understanding of an adult. Feel like if the story took the right turns she could very easily be swapping places with Dash and looking out for her big sister's well being.
Like several people have mention, it's amazing how well you transition from sexytimes to sweet, character - building heartfelt moments. That takes some serious writing skill. I'm impressed.
And even if you don’t get the spot, you’re still the best flier in Equestria, and it’s their loss if they can’t see it.
Just because you're the best sharpshooter in the country, doesn't make you military material. ;] Same issue here. Just because she can fly fast and pull phat stunts, she's not exactly cut out to be in the military - or at least that's the side we see.
It's not that they don't see that she's the best flier. They do. It's the other qualities she lacks, and you can train anyone to be at least a competent, decent performer. Not the best, perhaps, but with all the right skills? Easily capable of taking RD down, hard.
9841374 Plus there's the issue with her frequent impatience. Combat in groups becomes more about numbers, communication especially, technology and various relevant logistical tactics as well as strategies. Being the fastest runner is all well and fine, but if you don't keep pace with the rest of the warriors you're fighting with, then you're more likely to be the fastest ... to die. Plus, while we see Rainbow working with the Main6 and the weather team crew, a majority of her training has been solo. But aerial military maneuvers require teamwork, not just being a loose cannon and doing whatever you desire. But whenever we see rainbow flying, she's solo, 'Between her 'lone-wolf' attitude and her poor patience, she isn't flying with the intent of joining a military organization, because while the technical execution of her flight might be superb, that not flying with others' in a group doesn't really make her an appealing candidate to their organization.
Gonna be honest, I'm beginning to lean more towards Scoots over Rainbow.
Wow, the google chrome text bug is really bending me over. And I really don't want to wait before they fix it to read this story.
5631915
There's a text bug? I use chrome and I've never noticed anything odd.
5631920 Some kind of new update or something, it involves text and it would cut out maybe a word or two. Even a whole sentence sometimes. It would be there, but invisible, if you highlighted and copied you would copy what was supposed to be there.
A bug in the coding is what people had said, and they gave a temporary solution, but I know nothing about coding.
5631845 ya I agree but it would be fun if this story branched off into two different storys for each mare seeing as it's easy to see him ending up with either of them
5631845 Yeah, Scoots and Will fit a whole lot better. Dash is gonna have to compromise to catch up.
5632007
I disagree. The only vibe I'm getting from them is a brother/sister sort of relationship, but the kind where they're best friends. I don't think, with the set-up available from this story, that Will could ever think of Scoots like that. Like with Rainbow, she'll always be that awesome little filly, and a really good friend.
Dang it! Rainbow better not have herd that, othervise things will get REALLY wierd and akward.
Wow, another great chapter, still hope Will ends up with Scootaloo, but I'm getting the feeling Will might nip her affection in the bud or something.
5632116 kinda a Game of Thrones brother/sister vibe.....Will was staring at her vagina.
5632435
Yeah. He was totally into that.
5632448 I took it as he enjoyed it since he had to "tear" his eyes away from it, and he also felt like a creep indicating that he enjoyed what he was looking at, but felt shame that he was taking enjoyment. Unless the author speaks up in the comments, or a latter chapter clarifies, it's however you want to interpret it though, but I feel pretty confident in my assessment. Cheers.
5632476
I took it as the exact same kind of situation when you find yourself looking at something vulgar or rude and can't keep your eyes away. You don't necessarily want to or enjoy looking at it, but you can't help it.
Considering all of the negative descriptors the author used in those same paragraphs, I feel confident in my assessment.
It is going to be interesting seeing where this goes. I like how you somehow managed to leave almost every option open and equally valid, that is just impressive. Are you by any chance magic?
5632516
I'm kind of as impressed as you are. Maybe my gypsy magic is indeed coming to bear!
Man this chapter..... wow. That's all I have to say, it's wonderful. Can't wait to see ware this is going with Will and Scootaloo though. I'm sorta getting a brother/sister vibe from them, but at the same time, another vibe that I can't really plaice. I don't necessarily think it's a romantic one, but It's still to early to tell.
Now we're talking. I was a little underwhelmed by the previous chapter, but this one had me more invested, mostly because barriers were broken down. I also have to lend praise to your narration. Who did he specifically say it to? Perhaps he said it to both? Who knows.
My soul is flowing trought my eyes in tears of gladness.
Need more !!!
5632116 You forget that Will is the one dude in the story that sees Scootaloo as more than just a silly child out of everyone. I get a very heavy feeling that he went the "sister" route with her because of Rainbow's presence; he's shown that he tends to behave like her by proxy.
5636240
Sorry, but that doesn't tell me anything except he's uncomfortable with the thought. Very uncomfortable.
Rainbow's being there probably helped the little sister relationship along, but I think that's where it was going anyway. He's not thought of her as a potential mate even once, and the one time he saw something he shouldn't have, his immediate thoughts were of how wrong it was.
5636250 Don't forget he felt almost the same on the first time with Dash when she slept on him. On him, not with him.
But then again, Dash is older and was squirming quite sexually back then instead of being casually nude, so that could be the difference.
5632482 Enjoy the new chapter mate, it's quite revealing
Ah, yes. I learned that one the hard way.
Is it just me, or is that the weirdest sentence ever?
i22.photobucket.com/albums/b347/SolfiresShadow/dayum_zpsbeyghrmq.png~original
First off holy crap the opening shower scene with Dash is ridiculously hot Loved the "I have ejaculated in your mouth. There's no shame between us anymore" line, and the anal play was a nice new thing .
And then it quickly transitions from hot and sexy to a sweet feely bath between friends with Scoots showing up. I really like the concept of ponies being fine with showering together with their comfortableness with nudity and the physical challenges with cleaning themselves. It takes something that would be scandalously taboo in our culture, and automatically thought of sexually, and turns it into something sweet and kind natured between friends and family. Really makes me think how fucked up our society is that we cant even imagine two nude people in close proximity to each other without shame or fucking. Thoroughly enjoyed Will and Dash's conversation where shes trying to point out its not a big deal to be nude near Scootaloo and hes having the expected human reaction
The whole scene of Rainbow washing Scoots and them playing together innocently while bathing really gives an alien feel from Will's perspective. In reality its a completely innocent scene of two friends hanging out acting no different then they would outside of a bath, but with that good old human upbringing its understandably weird and uncomfortable for him. Just another situation where our world is shown to be poorer than theirs.
The 2nd half of this story gave me super feels. Teared up a little and had to make sure no one at work noticed :P
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-14QOp8jmViE/Ufwsw4iYvSI/AAAAAAAArYY/agfD_l-9yjA/s650/Spitfire.png
Prob the most beautiful part of this chapter in my opinion is when Dash has an almost motherly moment with Scootaloo. When she's telling Scoots to be better than her and finish school. Its a pretty common conversation between older and younger friends but it means so much more coming from Dash. A tiny bit of her regrets in life shining through her i'm the most awesome pony ever mask, and just really has a motherly feel to it. Her wanting Scoots to do things better than her and have the chance for a better life when she's her age. Everything felt perfect and great about it. Dont feel like its going to be a thing in this story, but it really lets you imagine Dash being a good mother if she ever settled down enough to be one.
Think one of my favorite lines of the whole chapter was when Dash is stroking Scoots mane while shes sleeping and says "She's a really good filly, you know?" To which Will responds "She's a really good mare" Feel like the reader and Dash are both ironically often in the same spot, thinking of Scootaloo as a filly. Since in the show she is a filly, and Dash has always thought of her as her little sister. Despite the occasional childish lvls of enthusiasm and excitement (which is sad that it could possibly qualify you as immature for being too happy :P) your Scootaloo really does feel like the most mature of the main characters who has the potential to become an amazing mare that would make Dash and her father more proud than they already are. I enjoy the feeling of finding myself, and im sure other people do the same, still thinking of scoots as a filly even though shes been described multiple times as being older and is often the catalyst to helping Dash and Will face things they're hiding from, and spotting whats bothering them despite their best efforts to hide it. I feel its most likely just a coincidence of making a filly from the show older, or perhaps you're a masterful little thought weaver . Cause that line really makes an important statement that Dash, Flip, and the reader probably often subconciously forget. Scootaloo may still be young but she fully displays the maturity, empathy, and understanding of an adult. Feel like if the story took the right turns she could very easily be swapping places with Dash and looking out for her big sister's well being.
Aawh man the Blue Balls! LOL!
Good job author!
You have made me feel... stahp it.
Nice job!
5680179 You are not the only one Dx
That is a weird ass sentence XD
hehehe.
I completely lost it at the ejaculation line. Not entirely sure why.
Like several people have mention, it's amazing how well you transition from sexytimes to sweet, character - building heartfelt moments. That takes some serious writing skill. I'm impressed.
Wait... Kids? Your writing a mature story with kids as your target audience!?!!?!?!!
lol. What can I say, i'm a sucker for smartass comments... (pls don't hurt me)
8331189
You're cruising for a bruising my dood.
Hnnnnng
This is so sweet. I don't care if the sequel is cancelled, this is every ounce worth reading.
Just because you're the best sharpshooter in the country, doesn't make you military material. ;] Same issue here. Just because she can fly fast and pull phat stunts, she's not exactly cut out to be in the military - or at least that's the side we see.
It's not that they don't see that she's the best flier. They do. It's the other qualities she lacks, and you can train anyone to be at least a competent, decent performer. Not the best, perhaps, but with all the right skills? Easily capable of taking RD down, hard.
9841374
Plus there's the issue with her frequent impatience. Combat in groups becomes more about numbers, communication especially, technology and various relevant logistical tactics as well as strategies. Being the fastest runner is all well and fine, but if you don't keep pace with the rest of the warriors you're fighting with, then you're more likely to be the fastest ... to die. Plus, while we see Rainbow working with the Main6 and the weather team crew, a majority of her training has been solo. But aerial military maneuvers require teamwork, not just being a loose cannon and doing whatever you desire. But whenever we see rainbow flying, she's solo, 'Between her 'lone-wolf' attitude and her poor patience, she isn't flying with the intent of joining a military organization, because while the technical execution of her flight might be superb, that not flying with others' in a group doesn't really make her an appealing candidate to their organization.