The whole debate happening about Will's feelings for Scoots is one of the coolest things ever. I hoped that someone might find something worth talking about in this story, but seeing it actually happen... I'm amazed. It's the best damn feeling in the world!
Damn - that could be hard as in; A: Convincing Rainbow or B: Getting everypony else to accept him being with scoots.
I both love and hate how you keep every option open. As far as I can see, there is 4 outcomes, He gets Rainbow, He gets Scoots, He gets both (you did cover the Thunder & twins after-all, and R&S aren't technically family) or He gets neither. 3 of these would be fine by me!
You manage to make a down-to-earth story like this unpredictable and compelling. I never imagined we'd be at a point like this when I started reading.
Also, your version of Carrot Top is exquisite, and her interactions with Script are beyond precious. It's one of the few good versions of a tsundere I've ever read.
5644953 I was so hoping someone would comment on her! She's been an absolute blast to write! She's kind of become my favorite character in a weird way. Go figure.
5644729 I really like this version of Carrot Top. The way you wrote he mader her seem like a grounded, worldly person that anyone would want to go to for advice, yet you also made her rather sporadic, interesting, and just an al 'round joy to read. Good on ya, dude. 10 out of 10.
I really want to know what he wrote on that note, just because if I was in that situation I would never be able to write something coherant under duress.
5644947 The discussion wasn't if it was happening or not, it was if Will wanted it to happen.....which is fairly obvious now. No worries though, just a little harmless teasing on my part, all in good fun, right?
5646074 Poetry would probably be easy if your audience was Rainbow. No offence to the girl but you'd probably just have to boost her ego at some point.
Of the 7,000,000 humans of earth And the 3,000,000 species on Equis Throughout my search between two worlds And two seperate galaxies of infinate possibility Theoughout the 5000 years of recorded human history And the 2000 years of recorded equine history I could never find a single being as awsome as you.
5646876 You make a good point. Fair enough. Stroke that ego of hers a little bit and she's eating out of the palm of your hand. I still don't know, though. Will strikes me as a perfectionist when it comes to something like that, and I doubt he'd be happy with anything he wrote. It's still rather a moot point since I can't ever foresee him having to write poetry, but eh. It's fun to think about regardless.
He would probably eventually find something he loves and think it is perfect, goes to read it out load it or slip it under a door or whatever it is you do with poetry then in the last five seconds realize every last thing is wrong with it and attempt to fall out of existence.
Side note: The only valid way to admit love to Rainbow is through a choreographed rock song about her, no acceptions.
Beautyfull !! Has always. You keep a certain tension all the way. It sends shivers down my spine ! Will Will finish with one of the pegasus ? The two ? Or in the herd of carrot top ?! XD Keep writing, you're selling me some buckin' dream !! And i totally buy it !
Two months away from being eighteen? Not legal age? i.imgur.com/0y0RTy6.png It does make me chuckle, what with the legal age being 16 in this green and pleasant land.
But anyway, this latest chapter was superb. When this story first came up I thought it was just going to be another short cloppy thing; hanging around for a couple chapters then fading away. But this, this is far better than I ever thought it would be. I really hope you keep up the excellent work - especially at such a crucial point in the narrative - and I'm eagerly looking forwards to whatever comes next!
Eaither will has more sex or thaking Scootraloo's virginity or boith are sounds good for me. Talking of Scootalo's virginity. I can't help but wonder if she still has her hynem or it was broken without her knowladge of it during the rough adventures she went trough with her fellow crusaders.
Apparently the world population has dropped considerably since I last checked.
Funny, I didn't hear about 99.9% of the human populace of our planet dying out. (I suppose it makes sense though: What with everyone who could have informed me being too busy dying and all.)
I guess I'll just consider myself lucky that I made it through a global event with a 1/1000 survival rate! (Time to invest in some lotto tickets I guess!)
“Always trying to pry into our sex life,” Carrot Top said over her coffee mug. She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were interested in joining us.”
“What?” she asked, looking at her husband. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had two stallions double-teaming me. Don’t tell me you haven’t missed it, too.”
Damn it i sooo like this dry (and dirty) humor of carrot top... and her husband if freaking great to boot. Now why can't my boss be the same
5817490 Except for the part where he shares with her what he won't with Dash. And the time at the skate park, and the lunch trip, and all the other times he's been getting to know her. It's been pretty platonic between them until the last couple chapters where he gets the idea in his head that she's a grown mare, a good person, and attractive.
This story, I think, has handled the nurturing of a chance friendship into a relationship much, much better than most others of the type.
I must say that at this point in the story, I'm confused by Will's interpretation of the words "I love you" as meaning he was romantically interested in both Rainbow and Scoots. He's had romantic dreams about Rainbow, so having romantic feelings towards her is understandable, but he's only ever had really platonic experiences with Scootaloo. Save for the few awkward situations between them that only he seemed to notice. If anything I'd think what he was feeling was romantic feelings towards RD and the sort of adoring affection towards Scootaloo that one might feel toward a close friend or even a family member.
I’m a little confused why he thinks he’s in love with Scootaloo. Yes he’s told her things he hasn’t told Dash but that doesn’t mean he should really be romantically involved. I still feel like Dash is the one he needs to focus on.
After reading through some of the comments, I feel compelled to comment about the feeling that Will's interest in Scootloo is either unrealistic in some way or poorly developed...
I really couldn't disagree more.
While it's true that Will has known Scootaloo for a fraction of the time he's known RD, looking back at all the scenes between the characters reveals that the author was setting this up for a while. There is a decidedly different narrative tone to scenes which happen between Will and RD vs Will and Scootaloo, and I know the author intended the tone to be different.
The real issue is revealed earlier when we learn that Will wants 'something more' than a friend with benefits. Will makes that pretty clear in the narrative. The reason why I think his feelings for Scoots work, is because the relationship he's been developing with her is far closer to what Will wants than the one he's having with RD.
So yes, he's known RD longer, but a few weeks is plenty long enough to develop strong feelings for someone, especially when that someone is giving you catharsis(the discussion about his sister that he shared with Scoots), as well as being a far more emotionally supportive foundation, which is something that Will really needs right now.
RD, on the other hand, isn't providing Will with these things. But she is giving him something he needs as well(a feeling of being needed, and sexual release which is also important to him), so I'm not selling her short. But again, Will states early on that he needs something more than just casual sex, and RD made it clear she didn't. Of course, we learn later that she secretly did have feelings, which is part of the tragedy, but that only makes the story more compelling and dramatic.
So yeah, saying that his love for her comes out of left field is a little unfair in my opinion. Granted, Will didn't have any explicit inner thoughts in the narrative which clue us, the reader, onto this as a possibility. At least explicitly. However, I think if you go back and re-read ch2-9 you'll see that Will has been developing feelings all along. Sometimes love really does work that way.
So hats off JeremyStorm. I think this is nearly perfect as it is.
Carrot Tops child is gonna end up resenting her with that attitude. Pushing all the parenting onto the other spouse is a really sad display. Hopefully once she has it she’ll change her mind.
... there's more than one kind of love, dude. Don't sweat it. Parents also love their children, and it's accepted as normal and natural.
This dude would be a lot more pleasant in his head if he didn't overthink things so goddamn much... But then, I do that too. I just don't go on fun trips down spirals. ;]
9301657 Yeah, and I personally think that Scoots is a sort of a "bridge" between Will and RD. If he's interested in RD romantically, some of it will spill over to the ones RD cares for (and Will interacts with). In theory it should work the other way around, as well - RD will (or should) develop feelings for Will (if she hasn't already) through their shared bond with Scootaloo, simply through including him in what's becoming more than a bit of an emotional ride for her. There are so many different kinds of love (or, proportions, as I like to see it) that it doesn't even have to be a straight-up romantic interest, either - more something of a "deep bond"; she might never tell him "I love you", but she'll feel safer and warmer with him (and Scoots) than anypony else by far.
As far as Scoots goes... well... that might end up being a bit of a mix - something between the sort of love and safety one feels for/from a parent/sibling, with a dash of romantic interest thrown in (after all, Will technically is what falls under the 'stallion' category). I wouldn't be suprised to find her wanting more - not just from Will, but from the Will+RD coupling (sort of a "I want to partake in what you two have" thing)... and I honestly can't fault her for it. Ponies herd - it's a natural thing for them to do, and their brains are already pre-wired to work with it. In fact, I won't be suprised at all if she ends up being the idea's originator.
“Does that actually work? Do things really go back to normal between friends after something like that happens?” Carrot Top asked him.
No.
I mean, things may superficially resemble "normal", but the configuration is different at that point. You can't help what you feel for someone else, and that emotion will always be in the back of your head, whispering what-could-have-beens. Friendship may win out, but it'll forevermore be coloured by those feelings. It takes courage and strength to stay by the side of someone who doesn't return your feelings, and it's a tough balancing act. :)
I had the strangest urge to plant some strawberries.
I like the connection there - or maybe I'm reading too much into it? The whole "out of season" thing - doing something that most would consider ill-advised, and probably a little bit crazy... but putting in the effort to make it work in the end, because things may be at least a little bit pliable.
Aside from all those moral redflags int this, I knew something wierd like this was gonna happen after you mentioned that Scoot was nearly 18.OK, so this was supposed to be Rainbow romfic, that's what I got from the title, the cover and the desc. Now that's just misleading.
What a twist....... Im very worried on this outcome
Are the strawberries meant to be a metaphor or am I reading too much into this?
5644677
Maaaaybe there's something to those strawberries.
Maybe.
5644680 mayyyyyybe
5644680 You do realize you are going to have us analyze this chapter/story for clues relating to strawberries now.
or
The quest for
Let the games begin....
~8chill
5644722
I would love nothing more.
The whole debate happening about Will's feelings for Scoots is one of the coolest things ever. I hoped that someone might find something worth talking about in this story, but seeing it actually happen... I'm amazed. It's the best damn feeling in the world!
5644729 Already have a couple guesses but need more information in the upcoming chapters to solidify.
Thanks for the update!! Really enjoying this story!
~8chill
Growing strawberries out of season being hard.
Damn - that could be hard as in;
A: Convincing Rainbow
or
B: Getting everypony else to accept him being with scoots.
I both love and hate how you keep every option open. As far as I can see, there is 4 outcomes, He gets Rainbow, He gets Scoots, He gets both (you did cover the Thunder & twins after-all, and R&S aren't technically family) or He gets neither.
3 of these would be fine by me!
5644868
Already read it, and I still don't see it happening.
You manage to make a down-to-earth story like this unpredictable and compelling. I never imagined we'd be at a point like this when I started reading.
Also, your version of Carrot Top is exquisite, and her interactions with Script are beyond precious. It's one of the few good versions of a tsundere I've ever read.
5644953
I was so hoping someone would comment on her! She's been an absolute blast to write! She's kind of become my favorite character in a weird way. Go figure.
5644729
I really like this version of Carrot Top. The way you wrote he mader her seem like a grounded, worldly person that anyone would want to go to for advice, yet you also made her rather sporadic, interesting, and just an al 'round joy to read. Good on ya, dude. 10 out of 10.
love this world's Carrot Top
I really want to know what he wrote on that note, just because if I was in that situation I would never be able to write something coherant under duress.
5646056
I imagine it literally comprised of something like:
It wasn't exactly poetry. Actually, can you imagine Will writing poetry? I feel he'd be quite shite at it.
I love how tsundere Carrot is to Written. She does care.
5644947 The discussion wasn't if it was happening or not, it was if Will wanted it to happen.....which is fairly obvious now. No worries though, just a little harmless teasing on my part, all in good fun, right?
5646074
Poetry would probably be easy if your audience was Rainbow. No offence to the girl but you'd probably just have to boost her ego at some point.
Of the 7,000,000 humans of earth
And the 3,000,000 species on Equis
Throughout my search between two worlds
And two seperate galaxies of infinate possibility
Theoughout the 5000 years of recorded human history
And the 2000 years of recorded equine history
I could never find a single being as awsome as you.
That said she would probably respond a lot better to this: http://youtu.be/78xJDyDBPXU
5646876
You make a good point. Fair enough. Stroke that ego of hers a little bit and she's eating out of the palm of your hand. I still don't know, though. Will strikes me as a perfectionist when it comes to something like that, and I doubt he'd be happy with anything he wrote. It's still rather a moot point since I can't ever foresee him having to write poetry, but eh. It's fun to think about regardless.
5646926
He would probably eventually find something he loves and think it is perfect, goes to read it out load it or slip it under a door or whatever it is you do with poetry then in the last five seconds realize every last thing is wrong with it and attempt to fall out of existence.
Side note: The only valid way to admit love to Rainbow is through a choreographed rock song about her, no acceptions.
5647016
Coincidentally, an early concept of Will had him with a love of drumming and having been in a crappy garage band back in high school.
5644766
Or maybe it's just not quite the opportune time, yet?
Though that last line implies that he's willing to put forth the effort, knowing full well it's gonna be difficult.
I love the good metaphors. Nice work, Jeremy.
Now I want strawberry jam on toast. Thanks a lot author!
Beautyfull !! Has always. You keep a certain tension all the way. It sends shivers down my spine ! Will Will finish with one of the pegasus ? The two ? Or in the herd of carrot top ?! XD Keep writing, you're selling me some buckin' dream !! And i totally buy it !
Hmmmmmmmmm, we'll see
Two months away from being eighteen? Not legal age?
i.imgur.com/0y0RTy6.png
It does make me chuckle, what with the legal age being 16 in this green and pleasant land.
But anyway, this latest chapter was superb. When this story first came up I thought it was just going to be another short cloppy thing; hanging around for a couple chapters then fading away. But this, this is far better than I ever thought it would be. I really hope you keep up the excellent work - especially at such a crucial point in the narrative - and I'm eagerly looking forwards to whatever comes next!
I love how you write Carrot Top in this story.
5663037 Because I have like 380 followers I'm seeing a lot of them everywhere.
You included, you glorious motherfucker.
5680473
You found me again?!
Eaither will has more sex or thaking Scootraloo's virginity or boith are sounds good for me.
Talking of Scootalo's virginity. I can't help but wonder if she still has her hynem or it was broken without her knowladge of it during the rough adventures she went trough with her fellow crusaders.
5646876
7,000,000...
As in million with an "M"?
Apparently the world population has dropped considerably since I last checked.
Funny, I didn't hear about 99.9% of the human populace of our planet dying out.
(I suppose it makes sense though: What with everyone who could have informed me being too busy dying and all.)
I guess I'll just consider myself lucky that I made it through a global event with a 1/1000 survival rate!
(Time to invest in some lotto tickets I guess!)
Feels like his feelings for scoot kind of came out of nowhere. They've what, only know each other for a couple weeks?
I await further developments.
Twisty~
Oh man... I hope this ends well D'x
I love Scoots and Dash, don't make me choose //sobs
Keep it up!
Damn it i sooo like this dry (and dirty) humor of carrot top... and her husband if freaking great to boot. Now why can't my boss be the same
HA Carrot Top laying down the strawberry mind thoughts.
5817490
Except for the part where he shares with her what he won't with Dash. And the time at the skate park, and the lunch trip, and all the other times he's been getting to know her. It's been pretty platonic between them until the last couple chapters where he gets the idea in his head that she's a grown mare, a good person, and attractive.
This story, I think, has handled the nurturing of a chance friendship into a relationship much, much better than most others of the type.
I must say that at this point in the story, I'm confused by Will's interpretation of the words "I love you" as meaning he was romantically interested in both Rainbow and Scoots. He's had romantic dreams about Rainbow, so having romantic feelings towards her is understandable, but he's only ever had really platonic experiences with Scootaloo. Save for the few awkward situations between them that only he seemed to notice. If anything I'd think what he was feeling was romantic feelings towards RD and the sort of adoring affection towards Scootaloo that one might feel toward a close friend or even a family member.
Just because she says it was overdone doesn't mean she didn't secretly love every line of it.
Loving this story so far. Rainbow is one of my three favorite ponies, go figure.
I’m a little confused why he thinks he’s in love with Scootaloo. Yes he’s told her things he hasn’t told Dash but that doesn’t mean he should really be romantically involved. I still feel like Dash is the one he needs to focus on.
After reading through some of the comments, I feel compelled to comment about the feeling that Will's interest in Scootloo is either unrealistic in some way or poorly developed...
I really couldn't disagree more.
While it's true that Will has known Scootaloo for a fraction of the time he's known RD, looking back at all the scenes between the characters reveals that the author was setting this up for a while. There is a decidedly different narrative tone to scenes which happen between Will and RD vs Will and Scootaloo, and I know the author intended the tone to be different.
The real issue is revealed earlier when we learn that Will wants 'something more' than a friend with benefits. Will makes that pretty clear in the narrative. The reason why I think his feelings for Scoots work, is because the relationship he's been developing with her is far closer to what Will wants than the one he's having with RD.
So yes, he's known RD longer, but a few weeks is plenty long enough to develop strong feelings for someone, especially when that someone is giving you catharsis(the discussion about his sister that he shared with Scoots), as well as being a far more emotionally supportive foundation, which is something that Will really needs right now.
RD, on the other hand, isn't providing Will with these things. But she is giving him something he needs as well(a feeling of being needed, and sexual release which is also important to him), so I'm not selling her short. But again, Will states early on that he needs something more than just casual sex, and RD made it clear she didn't. Of course, we learn later that she secretly did have feelings, which is part of the tragedy, but that only makes the story more compelling and dramatic.
So yeah, saying that his love for her comes out of left field is a little unfair in my opinion. Granted, Will didn't have any explicit inner thoughts in the narrative which clue us, the reader, onto this as a possibility. At least explicitly. However, I think if you go back and re-read ch2-9 you'll see that Will has been developing feelings all along. Sometimes love really does work that way.
So hats off JeremyStorm. I think this is nearly perfect as it is.
Carrot Tops child is gonna end up resenting her with that attitude. Pushing all the parenting onto the other spouse is a really sad display. Hopefully once she has it she’ll change her mind.
... there's more than one kind of love, dude. Don't sweat it. Parents also love their children, and it's accepted as normal and natural.
This dude would be a lot more pleasant in his head if he didn't overthink things so goddamn much... But then, I do that too. I just don't go on fun trips down spirals. ;]
9301657
Yeah, and I personally think that Scoots is a sort of a "bridge" between Will and RD. If he's interested in RD romantically, some of it will spill over to the ones RD cares for (and Will interacts with). In theory it should work the other way around, as well - RD will (or should) develop feelings for Will (if she hasn't already) through their shared bond with Scootaloo, simply through including him in what's becoming more than a bit of an emotional ride for her. There are so many different kinds of love (or, proportions, as I like to see it) that it doesn't even have to be a straight-up romantic interest, either - more something of a "deep bond"; she might never tell him "I love you", but she'll feel safer and warmer with him (and Scoots) than anypony else by far.
As far as Scoots goes... well... that might end up being a bit of a mix - something between the sort of love and safety one feels for/from a parent/sibling, with a dash of romantic interest thrown in (after all, Will technically is what falls under the 'stallion' category). I wouldn't be suprised to find her wanting more - not just from Will, but from the Will+RD coupling (sort of a "I want to partake in what you two have" thing)... and I honestly can't fault her for it. Ponies herd - it's a natural thing for them to do, and their brains are already pre-wired to work with it. In fact, I won't be suprised at all if she ends up being the idea's originator.
No.
I mean, things may superficially resemble "normal", but the configuration is different at that point. You can't help what you feel for someone else, and that emotion will always be in the back of your head, whispering what-could-have-beens. Friendship may win out, but it'll forevermore be coloured by those feelings. It takes courage and strength to stay by the side of someone who doesn't return your feelings, and it's a tough balancing act. :)
I like the connection there - or maybe I'm reading too much into it? The whole "out of season" thing - doing something that most would consider ill-advised, and probably a little bit crazy... but putting in the effort to make it work in the end, because things may be at least a little bit pliable.
After this quote I believe there is a missing line
Aside from all those moral redflags int this, I knew something wierd like this was gonna happen after you mentioned that Scoot was nearly 18.OK, so this was supposed to be Rainbow romfic, that's what I got from the title, the cover and the desc. Now that's just misleading.