The way I see this story going is William pinning after dash more and more until it ultimately starts destroying him. Yet, Rainbow can't see that shes the cause of it all, and when it does dawn on here. Maybe then we'll get to see her true emotional side.
Twenty more obligatory chapters of self-pity and never fucking opening his mouth to say what he actually wants to who he cares about, incoming in 10... 9... 8...
I really like how you're exploring the relationship with not only Dash but other ponies as well. It's very interesting. Hope Will starts to get his mind off Dash soon, if Dash is being serious. Pretty soon, that feeling will consume him and he won't be able to find someone else. At least not without heartbreak.
5551645 Not even the comics?...But the comics have so many neat little quirks you can throw onto a char....if nothing else,they're a good thing to have incase you feel a canon char is too stale.
5553640 I only read the first several. I thought they were pretty good, but then I had to stop buying them for a while. And then the Celestia is in love with Sombra thing happened, and I was glad I didn't keep spending money on them. There are a few things that I do like from the comics, like Tiberius and Fleetfoot's spontaneous (and probably temporary) crush on Big Mac, but those details are safely locked in headcanon territory for me. Even then, I will totally play fast and loose with canon if I think it helps my story, heh.
5553649 True,I suppose...but again,they give you some extra bits to work off that can sometimes really help the personality of a character out....I'll get outta your hair and stop being a comment-seat wi-No,Ninjahzz...No stupid jokes....Fine,me....God I'm such a prick....Hey wait a mi-*Transmission End*
Compared to the other two Human/Dash fics out there that I know of (Xenophilia and Ut Ametur Iris) this ones goes a different route; with Dash no jumping right into his arms, and not pining after him at the start. Instead he's pining for her and she's not aware of how badly. Should be interesting how it plays out.
Cant help but feel Will is not properly enjoying the magical win the lottery awesome kind of situation hes in. Friends with benefits with the coolest pony in Ponyville (Give it some time and she might even one day be as cool as Spitfire ). Enjoyed this chapter a lot though feel I personally would be far more happy with the situation than he is. Always thought having a lover that feels like a best friend is way more fun than all the mushy romantic stuff. Like getting to be the person she comes to to have an excited break down about getting to try out for the Wonderbolts, and invites to hang out with her and her little sister, both speaking their minds toward each other without worry, and fool around at night. Even get to fall asleep cuddling together, just not forever. Seems like a heavenly situation with a pony that's so driven and ambitious. I do feel his feelings toward Dash and longing for a more intimate relationship with her or somepony makes for a better story with more emotional possibilities, though if it were me I be pretty stoked over what he has already. Couldn't help but feel you'd be holding Dash back a little to get her to settle down into a normal relationship, when could foreseeably be balancing saving Equestria from various challenges with Twilight and the other elements, being a Wonderbolt, taking care of Scootaloo, teaching new weather ponies the ropes, and just having fun with her friends, tank, and Will. If it were me Id just be happy to be along for the ride, see how far she will go, and be there to share the moments along the way. Buuuuuttttt that said Im still excited to see what you have planned for them and the future of this fic. Cant praise you enough with how your Dash is so far. I like how she stuck to her guns when he pressed her on the relationship issue and still remained her brash lets just have fun self. Could see her one day coming around but feel like Dash should be a tough pony to change, being as stubborn and independent as she is. Do feel Will's feelings are very realistic to what most people would sympathize with given the way human culture approaches and views relationships and being close to someone. I'm interested to see if Will wins out in the end and opens Dash's eyes to some feely mushy goodness, or finds another pony while still remaining close friends with Dash, so many possibilities where this could go. Will be fun to see.
Cant help but wonder who the lucky ponies were who got to see a more personal side of the fiery Major
Oh and lastly thought the clop was pretty awesome, :P tits and clits at the same time, an epic idea that isnt brought up enough with clop. Who wouldnt take advantage of such a possibility
“No. I’m just fucking with you,” I lost it at that line, lol. I'd feel like he does though, wanting Rainbow so bad. I mean he's got her body and friendship, but that's just not enough. You gotta have have whole enchilada.
Just as bittersweet as it needs to be. Good show.
I'm quite eager to see where this goes. Good show.
Wonder if she'll cave?
Why does this chapter's ending make me want to cry so badly? I've red things that are definitely sadder, but this is just so...sobering.
this is a good thing.
The way I see this story going is William pinning after dash more and more until it ultimately starts destroying him. Yet, Rainbow can't see that shes the cause of it all, and when it does dawn on here. Maybe then we'll get to see her true emotional side.
Nope. Not happenin'. Things are gonna fuckin' crash and burn, I'll tell ya.
Please don't fucking have him pune over Dash. Seriously that shit is so played out it is annoying.
Twenty more obligatory chapters of self-pity and never fucking opening his mouth to say what he actually wants to who he cares about, incoming in 10... 9... 8...
Just ugh.
Yay!
I really like how you're exploring the relationship with not only Dash but other ponies as well. It's very interesting. Hope Will starts to get his mind off Dash soon, if Dash is being serious. Pretty soon, that feeling will consume him and he won't be able to find someone else. At least not without heartbreak.
5551129
As far as I've seen, that's only his name in the card game. I don't consider anything outside the show canon.
5551645 Not even the comics?...But the comics have so many neat little quirks you can throw onto a char....if nothing else,they're a good thing to have incase you feel a canon char is too stale.
5553640
I only read the first several. I thought they were pretty good, but then I had to stop buying them for a while. And then the Celestia is in love with Sombra thing happened, and I was glad I didn't keep spending money on them. There are a few things that I do like from the comics, like Tiberius and Fleetfoot's spontaneous (and probably temporary) crush on Big Mac, but those details are safely locked in headcanon territory for me.
Even then, I will totally play fast and loose with canon if I think it helps my story, heh.
5553649 True,I suppose...but again,they give you some extra bits to work off that can sometimes really help the personality of a character out....I'll get outta your hair and stop being a comment-seat wi-No,Ninjahzz...No stupid jokes....Fine,me....God I'm such a prick....Hey wait a mi-*Transmission End*
Compared to the other two Human/Dash fics out there that I know of (Xenophilia and Ut Ametur Iris) this ones goes a different route; with Dash no jumping right into his arms, and not pining after him at the start. Instead he's pining for her and she's not aware of how badly. Should be interesting how it plays out.
"Rainbow, if I could do that, I wouldn't need you."
5573333
I totally said that in my head when I wrote it.
Aww... I want them to be a thing! Still good chapter. I teared up a bit.
5580964 weird we keep bumping into each other no that I mind it's just that this doesn't typically happen to me
I laught so much at will's joke ! So much !! X'D
You owe me new underwear ! XD
I like that fic. 'Cause it's fun and somehow... Cute.
Keep writing.
This chapter reminds me of Ingress: Vacation. I knew there was a reason I liked it.
Also, I wanna read about Scootaloo catching them in a sexy scene. lol
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130704073350/mlp/es/images/thumb/7/76/Scootaloo_wants_fill_in_blank_by_caliazian-d62pf04.png/500px-Scootaloo_wants_fill_in_blank_by_caliazian-d62pf04.png
5679703 i agree i wanted to see scootaloo catch them in a scene too.
I know some people would rather just not be woken, but in this kind of situation I would MUCH rather she wake me to inform me she was leaving.
Wow, that's some pretty powerful stuff at the end. I love how he shivers when the air hits him, really good double meaning there.
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-LxyBLrBSwbY/UNdrG_iDBvI/AAAAAAAAYbE/W6NMPWSK4Gw/s1600/Spitfiredoesflyingstuff.png
Cant help but feel Will is not properly enjoying the magical win the lottery awesome kind of situation hes in. Friends with benefits with the coolest pony in Ponyville (Give it some time and she might even one day be as cool as Spitfire ). Enjoyed this chapter a lot though feel I personally would be far more happy with the situation than he is. Always thought having a lover that feels like a best friend is way more fun than all the mushy romantic stuff. Like getting to be the person she comes to to have an excited break down about getting to try out for the Wonderbolts, and invites to hang out with her and her little sister, both speaking their minds toward each other without worry, and fool around at night. Even get to fall asleep cuddling together, just not forever. Seems like a heavenly situation with a pony that's so driven and ambitious. I do feel his feelings toward Dash and longing for a more intimate relationship with her or somepony makes for a better story with more emotional possibilities, though if it were me I be pretty stoked over what he has already. Couldn't help but feel you'd be holding Dash back a little to get her to settle down into a normal relationship, when could foreseeably be balancing saving Equestria from various challenges with Twilight and the other elements, being a Wonderbolt, taking care of Scootaloo, teaching new weather ponies the ropes, and just having fun with her friends, tank, and Will. If it were me Id just be happy to be along for the ride, see how far she will go, and be there to share the moments along the way. Buuuuuttttt that said Im still excited to see what you have planned for them and the future of this fic. Cant praise you enough with how your Dash is so far. I like how she stuck to her guns when he pressed her on the relationship issue and still remained her brash lets just have fun self. Could see her one day coming around but feel like Dash should be a tough pony to change, being as stubborn and independent as she is. Do feel Will's feelings are very realistic to what most people would sympathize with given the way human culture approaches and views relationships and being close to someone. I'm interested to see if Will wins out in the end and opens Dash's eyes to some feely mushy goodness, or finds another pony while still remaining close friends with Dash, so many possibilities where this could go. Will be fun to see.
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/040/4/d/spitfire_smeel_by_arcticjuniper-d5udr8l.png
I'm such a Spitfire junky, practically squee'd with excitement when Dash mentioned Spitfire possibly being in a herd in the past, felt kind of silly for enjoying a simple name drop so immensely.
Cant help but wonder who the lucky ponies were who got to see a more personal side of the fiery Major
Oh and lastly thought the clop was pretty awesome, :P tits and clits at the same time, an epic idea that isnt brought up enough with clop. Who wouldnt take advantage of such a possibility
Umm... His hooves??? I thought he was human...
5887847 Most likely a typo
Awwww jeez, I feel bad for this guy.
Waking up to an empty bed... god that must suck...
oh wait *looks at own bed, sobs*
Nice job... nice job.
Hope he gets a marefriend to get rainbow jealous.
“No. I’m just fucking with you,”
I lost it at that line, lol.
I'd feel like he does though, wanting Rainbow so bad. I mean he's got her body and friendship, but that's just not enough. You gotta have have whole enchilada.
6517757 Ponies aren't enchiladas.
I mean sure, they have two holes but that's about it. Also I think they might taste a little better.