Glad to see Rainbow is back and things between them can move forward again. The things with the strawberries was adorable, that's just such a picture-perfect teenage girl thing to do. The second half of the chapter was a bit of a dud for me because of the porn, but I guess you can't have everything.
Also fuck you Twilight. Should have expected her of all people to be the messenger of plot devices delivered just in time for maximum melodrama potential.
Okay, so the rattie stopped hiding and came out in the open. Now she has to stop flagellating and sit the fuck down to talk.
The stuff with Scoots started off sweet, then it got hotter, then it got sweet again, then shit got torrid, and to finish it, all was made lovely in the world. But you REALLY gotta look out for your overuse of "as" when writing clop, it ruins the mood when the timing of actions don't match.
Portal? I didn't even remember Will wanted to go back.
"Oh the portal is open you are going to go through aren't you and leave me even though you said you wouldn't and I am not going to give you any time to properly give me a response before I completely overreact?" Scoots cries and runs away. Repeat scene with Dashie if needed.
Because that would be super fucking cliche.
Either that or bring another human in, which would be weird.
The portal will collapse at any time, maybe! *GASP* Will, your smartphone you let me study and I've been charging with magic is ringing!
*beep* "WILL! You finally answered! Where the hell have you been!? Nevermind that, your sister has a rare illness and you need to visit her at the hospital!"
Will, you can't go! I'm pregnant, and YOU'RE the father!
Wait WHAT? But we... I'm not ready to be a mom!
What? WILL? YOU BANGED MY SISTER ALREADY?
Oh dear... that's technically illegal. Will, we're going to need to talk.
Carrot Top: Look, don't take this personally, but.. we've got a new earth pony helper and your services are no longer required
not a big piercing fan myself and between scoots having one and picturing where it was on her it took me out of the story so the sexy bed time was a bit meh for me but everything before was great
5838896 Random, but interesting way to express, "Oh hey look at Will! He just Royally fucked shit up! And the universe finally got his cruelty back! Let us pour more rock salt on his bleeding wound, and make his life a complete and utter hell!"
That would really be different way to end a story compared to what I have seen on FiMFiction.
Oh shit Will, you said the L word whilst thinking with your dick... this can only end badly. Either that or Will, Scoots and Dash end up in some weird 3 way polyamorous relationship.
Awwww yeah I new it! I kew it! I knew it ans I told you earlier that I had the feeling Scootaloo might going to lost her virginity and so did she.
well since there wsn't mutch hint about or world about hymen I guess she either she had no hymen or she had alredy broke it during her crusades why she was looking for her cutie mark and Scootaloo only said that she heared from applebloom was true about the way the stallion goes into the mare and not from the virginity or the first time sex.
Wll that opened portal thing is a real twist but I doubt that Will would like to leave Equestria now at all especially since: I.) He just came together with Scootaloo II.) He feels responsible for her and he alredy promised her stepfather that he won't using Scootaloo, hurt her or just playing with her feelings III.) He has an unclosed talking with Rainbow Dash IV.) Since Will disappeared from his world troght the portal near a lake I guess his relatives might think him either just lost or dead alredy.
PS: It's not connecting so mutch here but I miss so mutch the good old story update e-mail notification wich was removed afther rhe last big update and I can ask e-mail notification from your answer to story rewiev.
5838696 5838896 It's only a plot device that's been in the making for what...? Eleven chapters, I think? It was about time I could get to it. Oh but by the way, no one forget that Twilight is a princess, too. She might have some choice words for Will when she finds Scootaloo staying the night at his place... 5838788 I'll admit, I'm really out of practice writing clop so I didn't even realize I was doing it. But thank you for pointing that out. I'll try to handle it better next time! 5838802 Oh ye of little faith! Have I done anything terribly cliche (outside of the timing of the portal reopening, Rainbow catching Will and Scoots kissing the first time, a kind of sad backstory for Will and probably a bunch of other things I don't care to recount)? Give me some credit! But thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter! It was both a big challenge and yet incredibly fun to write!
I can't see Will wanting to leave now. But if this is going the way I think it is... you are missing a sad tag. Because I will cry my eyes out if he is forced to leave.
An interesting twist would be if Scoots goes with him, but that's improbable. We all know how these things end.
5839051 Thanks! And you'll get no Spoilers~! from me, sir! 5839093 I guess Will should've jumped on that a long time ago! 5839107 Oh man, I did miss the perfect opportunity for some good puns! 5839557 Yeah, I don't think it would really be feasible for Scoots to go with him if he returns to Earth. Even if you discount how impossible it'd be for a pony to live here, Will would never allow her to come with. There's no way he'd ever let her go through what he did being the only one of his species in the world.
5839645 I really hope you won't make the story do down that route regardless. It seems rather uncharacterically prudish and contrived, given the almost ludicrously open-minded attitude to sexuality you've given the rest of your setting. It's too visibly out of place to make a good plot device without feeling railroaded.
I loved this chapter. But I'm worried what it will lead to. Also, now that the portal is opened, what will Will do? Will he go back to his own world or has Rainbow accidentally slipped through and he goes after?
Hmm, between Twilight's portal, and Scoots piercing, I'm not sure which 'plot' device to comment on... Yes, I just did that. But all seriousness aside, um, wait... reverse that... {Ahem}. I think you did an excellent job of capturing the perspective of a teen Scootaloo in love. But dang it Will... too far too soon man, too far... On the other hand, his reaction to Rainbow Dash is something that anyone would have done. And yeah it might've gone better if he had been a little more receptive, but she done done 'em wrong, at least in his mind. You've meticulously crafted a Gordian knot of complex feelings. I'm looking forward to seeing how Will untangles them. Hopefully at some point Rainbow, Will and Scoots will all be in the same room at the same time, and they can um... 'talk' it all out.
It's funny to see people freaking out about her age.
All the following situations apply to consensual acts only. In France, you can have a sexual relationship with an adult as soon as you're 15, as long as the adult doesn't have any kind of authority over you (like being your parent, stepparent, teacher, ...). You can't have sex with multiple adults (threesome, ...) before you're 18. You can't watch such an act either.
Now the funny part is when you're a minor with other minors: If you and your partner are both minor (under 18), you can do whatever you want. Like have sex with your 13 years old girlfriend while you're 17. You can have sex with multiple partners in the same time if you and all of your partners are minor, or watch other minors partake in such an act. (the law doesn't say so directly, but the prohibition only applies if there is an adult involved)
It can look crazy, but the French law consider that sexual relationships between minors are a matter of education and not a matter of law.
Sexiest chapter yet! 10/10!
Also this was a very sweet chapter of Scoots and Will. My fav of them so far! And oh man what a twist!!
Plot mcguffin spotted! Prepare for the feel train.
Glad to see Rainbow is back and things between them can move forward again. The things with the strawberries was adorable, that's just such a picture-perfect teenage girl thing to do. The second half of the chapter was a bit of a dud for me because of the porn, but I guess you can't have everything.
Also fuck you Twilight. Should have expected her of all people to be the messenger of plot devices delivered just in time for maximum melodrama potential.
Okay, so the rattie stopped hiding and came out in the open. Now she has to stop flagellating and sit the fuck down to talk.
The stuff with Scoots started off sweet, then it got hotter, then it got sweet again, then shit got torrid, and to finish it, all was made lovely in the world. But you REALLY gotta look out for your overuse of "as" when writing clop, it ruins the mood when the timing of actions don't match.
Portal? I didn't even remember Will wanted to go back.
Well I hope it doesn't go like this:
"Oh the portal is open you are going to go through aren't you and leave me even though you said you wouldn't and I am not going to give you any time to properly give me a response before I completely overreact?" Scoots cries and runs away. Repeat scene with Dashie if needed.
Because that would be super fucking cliche.
Either that or bring another human in, which would be weird.
Brilliant chapter btw. Sex was really nice.
WHAT A FUCKING TWIST
Next time on To Find A Rainbow:
The portal will collapse at any time, maybe! *GASP* Will, your smartphone you let me study and I've been charging with magic is ringing!
*beep* "WILL! You finally answered! Where the hell have you been!? Nevermind that, your sister has a rare illness and you need to visit her at the hospital!"
Will, you can't go! I'm pregnant, and YOU'RE the father!
Wait WHAT? But we... I'm not ready to be a mom!
What? WILL? YOU BANGED MY SISTER ALREADY?
Oh dear... that's technically illegal. Will, we're going to need to talk.
Carrot Top: Look, don't take this personally, but.. we've got a new earth pony helper and your services are no longer required
Will: OH YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL
not a big piercing fan myself and between scoots having one and picturing where it was on her it took me out of the story so the sexy bed time was a bit meh for me but everything before was great
5838876
memecrunch.com/meme/13FIX/what-a-twist/image.jpg?w=906&c=1
i.imgur.com/8mQbBO2.png
Also, I did not see that ending twist coming.
5838896 Random, but interesting way to express, "Oh hey look at Will! He just Royally fucked shit up! And the universe finally got his cruelty back! Let us pour more rock salt on his bleeding wound, and make his life a complete and utter hell!"
That would really be different way to end a story compared to what I have seen on FiMFiction.
Oh shit Will, you said the L word whilst thinking with your dick... this can only end badly. Either that or Will, Scoots and Dash end up in some weird 3 way polyamorous relationship.
This keeps getting better and better though :3
Turns out the key for interdimensional travel was having sex with Scootaloo.
On the cover was 'Pony Hawk' and 'Bam Maregera'. lol
hmmm, hope he decides to stay, but tragic romance is best romance
finished the chapter. You and your fucking cliffhangers!
also, the sex with Scoots?
i.ytimg.com/vi/T_gzxZZuQEc/hqdefault.jpg
...I kind of want him to leave. If just because I have never seen a story where the guy actually goes home. That would throw 'em for a loop.
5839202 Oh my god, that picture made me spit Dr.pepper everywhere!
5838678
Awwww yeah I new it! I kew it! I knew it ans I told you earlier that I had the feeling Scootaloo might going to lost her virginity and so did she.
well since there wsn't mutch hint about or world about hymen I guess she either she had no hymen or she had alredy broke it during her crusades why she was looking for her cutie mark and Scootaloo only said that she heared from applebloom was true about the way the stallion goes into the mare and not from the virginity or the first time sex.
Wll that opened portal thing is a real twist but I doubt that Will would like to leave Equestria now at all especially since:
I.) He just came together with Scootaloo
II.) He feels responsible for her and he alredy promised her stepfather that he won't using Scootaloo, hurt her or just playing with her feelings
III.) He has an unclosed talking with Rainbow Dash
IV.) Since Will disappeared from his world troght the portal near a lake I guess his relatives might think him either just lost or dead alredy.
PS: It's not connecting so mutch here but I miss so mutch the good old story update e-mail notification wich was removed afther rhe last big update and I can ask e-mail notification from your answer to story rewiev.
5838696
5838896
It's only a plot device that's been in the making for what...? Eleven chapters, I think? It was about time I could get to it.
Oh but by the way, no one forget that Twilight is a princess, too. She might have some choice words for Will when she finds Scootaloo staying the night at his place...
5838788
I'll admit, I'm really out of practice writing clop so I didn't even realize I was doing it. But thank you for pointing that out. I'll try to handle it better next time!
5838802
Oh ye of little faith! Have I done anything terribly cliche (outside of the timing of the portal reopening, Rainbow catching Will and Scoots kissing the first time, a kind of sad backstory for Will and probably a bunch of other things I don't care to recount)?
Give me some credit! But thank you, I'm glad you liked the chapter! It was both a big challenge and yet incredibly fun to write!
I can't see Will wanting to leave now. But if this is going the way I think it is... you are missing a sad tag. Because I will cry my eyes out if he is forced to leave.
An interesting twist would be if Scoots goes with him, but that's improbable. We all know how these things end.
5838876
5838947
5838961
5839202
Edit: You in particular, Phuck, you love it and I know it.
That's just not fair
This was a triumph,
I'm making a note here, huge success.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction...
Why is everyone saying its illegal? She's 18 isn't she? Last time I checked that was the age of consent.
Hey 5839570
i.imgur.com/mevY0Ez.png
Nah but, yeah but, that was an awesome addition.
5839051
Thanks! And you'll get no Spoilers~! from me, sir!
5839093
I guess Will should've jumped on that a long time ago!
5839107
Oh man, I did miss the perfect opportunity for some good puns!
5839557
Yeah, I don't think it would really be feasible for Scoots to go with him if he returns to Earth. Even if you discount how impossible it'd be for a pony to live here, Will would never allow her to come with. There's no way he'd ever let her go through what he did being the only one of his species in the world.
5839592
5839590
Not quite. She's seventeen, but only about a month away from eighteen.
5839624
Still not Illegal in most states. As long as he doesn't take any pictures...
5839642
In most states, sure. But in Equestria...? Will mighta made a really bad decision.
5839606
i.imgur.com/1ZuXTyB.png
5839693
Oh Rarity! You silly girl! You make it sound like it matters which side you end up on!
5839757
I got nothin.
5839795
That's right. I said it. I went there.
5839645
I really hope you won't make the story do down that route regardless. It seems rather uncharacterically prudish and contrived, given the almost ludicrously open-minded attitude to sexuality you've given the rest of your setting. It's too visibly out of place to make a good plot device without feeling railroaded.
5839645
Great chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
5839974
Thank you kindly!
5839916
Still relevant.
i.imgur.com/Z6dsfcT.png
I loved this chapter. But I'm worried what it will lead to. Also, now that the portal is opened, what will Will do? Will he go back to his own world or has Rainbow accidentally slipped through and he goes after?
hey look!, it's everyone Favourite stallion, Cliff Hanger
and I REALLY want to kick him in the nuts, repeatedly, with steel-toed boots
5840122
I prefer his brother, Clim Hazzard, but I get where you're coming from.
Well that was really final in the rainbow department. If that wasn't drastic symbolism on the death of a relationship I don't know what it was.
5840205
Well, not to spoil anything, but...
The story's not over.
5840226
Thanks!
Scootaloo : "I want to stay here tonight."
Me : " http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/ "
Twilight : "The portal is open !"
Me : " http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/ "
Reading that fic gives me bad karma... But I like it. I'm a freak.
5840654
Aww, you didn't want Scoots staying the night with her much older boyfriend? Haha, whyever not?
Regardless, I always smile everytime you comment. I loved those little references during the Nostalgia Critic episodes!
Hmm, between Twilight's portal, and Scoots piercing, I'm not sure which 'plot' device to comment on... Yes, I just did that.
But all seriousness aside, um, wait... reverse that...
{Ahem}. I think you did an excellent job of capturing the perspective of a teen Scootaloo in love.
But dang it Will... too far too soon man, too far...
On the other hand, his reaction to Rainbow Dash is something that anyone would have done. And yeah it might've gone better if he had been a little more receptive, but she done done 'em wrong, at least in his mind.
You've meticulously crafted a Gordian knot of complex feelings. I'm looking forward to seeing how Will untangles them.
Hopefully at some point Rainbow, Will and Scoots will all be in the same room at the same time, and they can um... 'talk' it all out.
It's funny to see people freaking out about her age.
All the following situations apply to consensual acts only.
In France, you can have a sexual relationship with an adult as soon as you're 15, as long as the adult doesn't have any kind of authority over you (like being your parent, stepparent, teacher, ...).
You can't have sex with multiple adults (threesome, ...) before you're 18. You can't watch such an act either.
Now the funny part is when you're a minor with other minors:
If you and your partner are both minor (under 18), you can do whatever you want. Like have sex with your 13 years old girlfriend while you're 17.
You can have sex with multiple partners in the same time if you and all of your partners are minor, or watch other minors partake in such an act. (the law doesn't say so directly, but the prohibition only applies if there is an adult involved)
It can look crazy, but the French law consider that sexual relationships between minors are a matter of education and not a matter of law.